Montana Cherries (19 page)

The evening had been nothing more than a waste of time.

“I went into town this afternoon,” Megan contributed to the conversational void. “The library here is terrific.”

“It’s grown a lot since I was a kid,” Jaden added.

Crickets chirped.

Dani wanted to speak to Megan, to be polite. But the longer she’d sat there thinking about who and what her mother was, how Dani had set her above the rest of them while at the same time her brothers and father had known differently . . . how they’d
kept
those things from her . . . she couldn’t do it. If she tried to add to the conversation, she feared she would cry instead. Or scream.

She peeked at Megan, offering an apologetic look. The same was returned her way.

Then there was more silence.

Forks scraped against plates, Jenna slurped as she drank her milk, and Dani continued thinking about her mother. The woman wouldn’t have allowed a meal to be this silent. Similar to Michelle—when Michelle graced them with her presence—Carol Wilde would have been filling them in on how amazing she was. She would also have called them out on their rudeness.

But Dani didn’t feel like being polite. To anyone.

And since she’d figured out that she’d spent the majority of her life doing and feeling and acting the way someone else had wanted her to, she couldn’t bring herself to fake it for the sake of good manners. Not tonight. No matter how rude that made her.

She did have a question burning inside her, though. One she decided it was time to ask.

Laying down her fork, she finally lifted her gaze to her father. The hope that flared on his face punched her in the gut, but she ignored the sensation. It wasn’t time to move past this yet. He’d have to wait. Just like her.

“Did you know?” Dani asked, her words blunt.

Confusion flickered in his blue eyes. “Know?” he asked cautiously.

Cord shifted in his chair across from Dani.

“Did you know what Mom did?” Dani clarified.

The room went deathly silent for two seconds before Ben and Megan scratched the legs of their chairs on the floor by scooting them back so fast.

“How about we have dessert upstairs?” Ben asked the girls.

Haley looked up from the macaroni and cheese she’d been playing with. “In our bedroom?”

“I’ll get it,” Megan sang out. Gloria shot out of her chair to help.

Within thirty seconds, Megan had two dishes of cobbler in hand, Ben had both girls, and all four of them were hurrying up the stairs. At the sound of a bedroom door closing, Dani turned back to her father.

“Did you know her accident wasn’t an
accident
?”

All the color went out of her father’s face. “I talked about it with the boys at one point. We came to the same conclusion.”

“Did you know before that?” she persisted.

“No, Dani. I didn’t know. And I’m sorry—”

She held up a hand. “That’s all I wanted to know.”

“Dani,” he said, but she returned to concentrating on her food as she contemplated whether she believed him or not. Probably.

But she was still mad.

“We need to talk,” her dad tried again.

She didn’t reply.

Every other member of her family had talked together about the fact that her mother had manipulated them their whole lives. The fact that she’d killed herself, if inadvertently. They’d talked, and they’d begun their own healing processes. But no one had talked to Dani.

As if she hadn’t mattered.

As if there were no purpose for her being here at all.

But worse . . . how much had her dad been aware of as it was happening?

He’d slept down here for years. He’d avoided his wife as much as Dani had
wanted
to avoid her mother. He had to have known.

And what had he done to stop it?

He’d taken the boys and escaped the house as much as possible. She remembered that clearly now. There were always errands to run, chores in the field. And her dad always needed her brothers to help him out.

But what about her? Why had she been left here with that woman all by herself?

And then they’d allowed her to pretend for years that none of it happened?

They should have told her. Everything.

She shook her head slightly as she found herself fighting off tears once again. Her life was not only
not
what she’d believed, but she’d been completely alone in it, and she’d had no idea. How demeaning.

It left her wondering if they cared no more for her than her mother had.

“I think it’s time to go,” her father told Gloria, his words heavy with concern.

“What?” Gloria asked.

Dani’s dad rose. “Come on. We’re leaving. We’re making Dani uncomfortable, and the morning starts early tomorrow. We should get home and get to bed soon. I’m sorry, Dani,” he said as he stepped away from the table. “I would like to talk, though. We
need
to talk. Maybe in a couple of days?”

Dani didn’t give him an answer.

“Well, okay.” Gloria hummed under her breath as she rose and took her plate to the sink. “Just let me get the dishes real quick.”

“Leave them,” Max said. “They’ll get done.”

And with that single phrase, Dani went hot.
They’ll get done?
By whom? Her?

Of course. Because they always got done by her.

Everything got done by her.

And then she remembered why.

If her brothers ever helped with the dishes—and she remembered a few times early on when they had—then after everyone was in bed, Dani’s mother would get Dani back up and make her rewash everything. Sometimes dishes they hadn’t even used that night.

Carol Wilde had been a mean, vindictive, manipulative woman who’d hated Dani from the day she’d been born. And the very idea of carrying any of that around inside of her made Dani’s stomach roll.

“They may get done,” she said, forcing the words out as she stood. “But they won’t be done by me.”

She escaped out the back door before her dad could, and had gone no more than fifty feet when she bent at the waist and threw up what little food she’d managed to get down.

“Dani!” Someone yelled to her from the house.

Instead of replying, she wiped off her mouth and disappeared between the closest rows of trees.

chapter seventeen

T
wo hours later, Ben stood at the top of the ridge that led down to the beach, watching Dani as she sat by herself on the end of the pier. She was a tiny form in the middle of vast surroundings, and he couldn’t help but compare that sight to how he suspected she saw herself at that very moment. She had to feel small and insignificant in her own world. Her mother had been a narcissist. She’d manipulated Dani at every turn. And Dani’s brothers had kept that from her. That had to be devastating.

Dani
had unwittingly kept it from herself.

Moving again, he headed toward her.

He had to force himself not to run as he made his way down the slope. He’d missed her the past few days. And he hadn’t liked her avoiding him.

He continued at a normal pace, but his gaze ate her up.

She’d changed into an orange sundress, and her hair was down and softly curved around her shoulders. The color of the dress perfectly complemented the sunset painting itself across the lake, composing the scene almost for him. It made him regret not bringing his camera out with him.

Her shoulders were bare—the heat had yet to evaporate from the day—and she had the hem of the dress pulled up and tucked between her knees. Her feet dangled off the end of the dock, but weren’t quite touching the water.

As his footfalls reached the wooden slabs behind her, she glanced back, and when her gaze landed on the two bowls in his hands, he got the first smile he’d seen all evening.

“One scoop or two?” he asked, holding both bowls aloft.

“One.” She reached out her hand. After he handed over the bowl, he retrieved a small baggie of chips—the edges of the baggie had been tucked securely beneath his belt—and held it up in offering.

“No, thanks,” she said. “I’m good.”

She scooted to the corner post then, put her back to it, and stretched her legs out so they ran parallel across the end of the dock. He joined her, sitting at the opposite post and facing her. His legs ran alongside hers, his booted feet reaching to her knees.

“You and your father okay?” he asked.

She held the bowl loosely in her lap, not touching the dessert, and rested her head on the wood behind her. Her head shook back and forth. “Nope.”

“You think you’ll get there?”

“I have no idea. But he said he didn’t initially know Mom’s accident wasn’t an accident. Who knows what he was aware of before any of that.” She blew out a breath and stared off in the distance. “It’s not fair. Why did she hate me so much?”

Seeing her like this hurt him. “I’m no professional, but I’m pretty sure it had nothing to do with you.” That’s what he’d read.

“It feels like it had to do with me.”

He could imagine that it did. “Maybe talk to Jaden about it?” he suggested.

At her heated glare, he gulped, but pressed on.

“He just majored in psychology. He might be able to help you make some sense of everything.”

“Or maybe it’ll never make sense,” she mused. “Maybe she just hated me.”

With that, she scooped up a bite of ice cream.

After taking her time to lick the spoon clean of chocolate, she wrinkled her brow and looked at him. “She put me on an ice-cream-free diet at fourteen for fear that my hips would get too wide.” She shoveled in another bite. “As women, we had an image to uphold. Men wouldn’t like a girl with wide hips.”

She took a third bite while he eyed her hips.

“Your mother was wrong. I’ve never seen better hips.”

She snorted as yet another mound went into her mouth. Once that bite disappeared, she relaxed back against the post, her shoulders curving into the wood, and blew out a breath. The chocolate was doing its job.

“I’ll give you that tiny white lie,” she told him, “but only because I don’t think you make a habit of lying to me.”

“I don’t make a habit of lying to you, white or otherwise. And that wasn’t a lie.”

“Right. You, the man who makes a living photographing gorgeous models for a living, think I have the best hips you’ve ever seen.”

“I
used
to make a living photographing models. And you do.” At her raised brow, he gave a shrug. “I’m not a fan of skin and bones.”

“Could have fooled me. You’ve sure dated your share of them over the years.”

“Really?” He smiled at the jealous tone that had crept into her voice. “Don’t tell me you’re a tabloid junkie, Dani Wilde.”

She didn’t respond, just ate more ice cream.

“You are?” He faked a gasp. “Were you buying them looking for me?”

She gave him a smirk. “Cut me some slack. It’s rare that a normal person knows someone who shows up in national magazines, even the trashy tabloids. So yeah, I’ve bought a few. And I bought them looking for you. It was fun keeping up.”

The fact that she hadn’t forgotten him over the years had him smiling even wider as he scooped up his own bite.

“Stop laughing,” she muttered. “It’s embarrassing. And I’ve had a lousy enough week as it is. I don’t need rich-and-famous over there making fun of me.”

“I’m not laughing. And I’m not famous—that’s my mother. I just like knowing that you were checking me out all those years. Of course, I did talk to Gabe occasionally. You could have asked him what I was up to.”

She set down her bowl—now empty—and leaned forward from the waist. Her eyes zeroed in on his. “I didn’t want to talk to my brother about you,” she said.

Her words made him hot.

He liked that she’d kept things between them private. He liked things between them
being
private. Yet he found as he sat there looking across at her, he would be okay with making them public, too. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, and he couldn’t stop wanting her. And he knew how stupid both of those things were, especially when he wasn’t a big believer in forever and she would be heading to the other side of the country in less than two weeks.

But facts were facts. He wanted Dani Wilde.

“So you’re no longer in the model business, huh?” she asked, as she once again relaxed back against the post. “That permanent? I thought since you and Haley had a good trip, you might decide to keep that going.”

“It wasn’t
that
good a trip.” He put his own bowl down, a full scoop left in it, and scooted it her way. It stopped halfway between them, and he could see from the glint in her eyes that she wanted it.

With his toe, he edged it closer.

“Stop it,” she moaned out. “My hips.”

“Now you’re just begging for compliments. Want me to go into specific detail about what I find most enjoyable about your hips?”

Her eyes widened. “No.”

“Then take the ice cream. You want it, I can see it.”

“I haven’t had that bad a day. That’s how I’ve managed to
keep
my hips from expanding over the years, by sticking to that rule. Two scoops only when it’s a truly craptastic day.”

He nudged the bowl within reach. “Break the rules, babe. I won’t tell. And I promise, I’ll still adore your hips.”

She tossed him another smirk. But she also picked up the bowl. “I’ll eat it only if you tell me why you won’t be going back on the road.”

“Because that’s not the life I want for my daughter.”

He studied the crystal-clear waters of the lake, focusing on a fist-size rock that was probably several feet below the surface even though it looked close enough to reach over and touch, as he thought about how true that statement was. He no longer thought in terms of his next great adventure. He ran everything through the what-would-be-best-for-Haley filter.

He could see taking her on the occasional trip, yes. But not for any of his previous types of contracts. He’d go to places that he wanted her to see. He could still do his thing, taking photos for additional books if this first one panned out, and Haley would get useful world experiences at the same time. Win-win.

“Plus,” he added, bringing his attention back to Dani and watching closely as his spoon slipped between her lips. “I want to stick around here; it’s good for Haley. I’ve already checked into preschools for the fall. And I’m going to do that book.”

“Yeah?” She looked from the bowl to him. “Good for you. I think those are both excellent decisions. Montana has a way of taking care of people, you know? It gets in your blood. So what did you decide for the book? You going with people?”

He nodded. “I’m going with people.” Though he still wouldn’t include that picture of her.

But he would keep it close. He’d brought it out several times over the past week as he’d worked on the proposal.

“It’ll be a bestseller,” Dani predicted.

He chuckled at her loyalty. “I don’t know about that, but I am looking forward to getting into it. I’ve already emailed a couple of agents with my ideas to get their feedback. I don’t want to do just pictures. I want to discuss the techniques that went into each, of course, but also, I’d like to talk about the subject of the photo.
Why
I captured them. Why I did it the way I did.” His passion for his idea got his words flowing. “I want to show that I’m more than just a good shot. There are reasons I framed each the way they are. Reasons I wanted to capture that particular person at that particular moment in time. I want the people who pick up my book to understand what I saw when I looked through my lens.”

Dani had quit eating while he talked and simply stared at him now. Her scrutiny made him fidgety.

“What do you think?” he asked nervously.

“I think that sounds beautiful.”

He brushed off her compliment. “That’s the second time you’ve used ‘beautiful’ in relation to my work.”

“That’s because you’re a beautiful person.” She took another bite, taking her time before adding, “Haley’s a very lucky girl. I hope you know that.”

He didn’t know that for a fact, but he had come to the conclusion that he made a much better parent than Lia. It had been days since he’d committed any sort of major screwup, and if the size of his feelings for Haley were any indicator, things would be okay with them. He could no longer imagine his world without his daughter in it.

“We went for our first appointment with the therapist this afternoon,” he told her.

“Yeah? How’d that go?”

He shifted his gaze to watch the top curve of the sun slip behind the mountains. “I thought Janette was terrific,” he told her succinctly. And he thought that she would probably help
him
as much as she would Haley. “Before the hour was up, Haley had opened up quite a bit. She informed Janette that she did not like her mother, and Haley learned that I’m not a big fan of mine, either.”

The apples of Dani’s cheeks plumped with a closed-mouth smile. “Another bonding moment?”

“Another bonding moment.” He acknowledged the statement with a tilt of his head.

She set the remainder of the uneaten ice cream down, and her thoughts seemed to be drifting off.

“Maybe you should talk to her, too,” he suggested. “She seems to be good with mother issues.” He knew Janette was a personal friend, but Dani needed someone to voice her concerns to.

“Well, I certainly have those,” she muttered.

She didn’t, however, say that she would talk to her friend.

“How’s that been?” he asked softly. “Any more memories creep up on you unexpectedly? Any new thoughts on the matter?”

She stared across the space at him, and he wished she were in his arms. “Yeah,” she finally said. And that was the only word she spoke for several moments. Then her gaze lowered to the center of his chest. “It occurred to me that my dreams of moving to New York are all intertwined with hers.”

“But
your
dreams are real.”

Her gaze came back up. “Are they?”

“Dani,” he began. Before saying anything more, he pushed to his feet and crossed the space. She dropped her legs off the dock, and as they had three nights before, they sat side by side, his arm around her, her head on his shoulder. “You went to New York as a teen, remember?
You
fell in love with the city.
You
had dreams of moving there. And you’ve worked hard to put that into motion.”

“But did I do it only because I wanted to please her?”

That was a hell of a question. And one he hoped the answer to was
no
. “You’re good at what you do,” he pointed out. “Look at any of your clients. They’re thrilled with your work. They give you glowing recommendations.”

At her questioning glance he felt his cheeks heat.

“I’ve looked at your website,” he admitted. “You’ve got an impressive portfolio. And huge words of praise.”

She continued to watch him, unblinking, and he fought the urge to kiss her. If anyone ever looked like they needed to be kissed, it was her in that very moment.

“But my mother wanted to go, too,” she said. “So did I want that only because of her?”

“Does it matter?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you still want it now?”

“Of course.”

“Then who cares what she did or didn’t want? She’s gone. She doesn’t get to affect your life ever again.” He held her to his side and pressed a kiss to her hair. “And you will impress the hell out of everyone in New York.”