Montana Cherries (18 page)

chapter sixteen

D
ani took a sip of her bottled water as she stood camouflaged between two trees, watching Ben heft a lug of cherries and carry it to the nearest bin. She pictured the muscles in his arms and back as he worked. Pictured them unclothed, of course. And pictured them right there in front of her.

She’d touched those muscles. She’d
licked
those muscles.

Then she pretty much hadn’t spoken to Ben since.

In fact, she hadn’t spoken to a single one of the men over the past few days.

It was day three of picking, and everyone was in their routine, going hard until early afternoon when the heat of the day often called a stop to the action in order to protect the tender skin of the fruit. The migrant workers carried their buckets strapped to their sides, their movements fast and efficient, since they got paid by weight of cherries picked. Jaden, Nick, and Cord were on tractor duty. They drove the trailers from the fields, through the cooling system that would keep the fruit crisp and firm, before depositing them in the barn. Full bins would be stacked and set aside until there was enough to be sent to the packing plant.

It was a well-functioning system, and Dani couldn’t imagine not being a part of it.

She couldn’t imagine her family not running it. But so far, no one had volunteered for the job. She’d considered doing it herself. It’s not like she didn’t know the entire operation. But she couldn’t very well run the farm in Montana and live in New York.

Surely one of her brothers would decide to take it on. Because it was
their
farm.

She took another drink, and watched Ben as he went for another load. His job involved working directly in the fields, and Dani had been sneaking peeks at him all day. He emptied the cherries into waiting trailers, redistributed ladders from picked trees to unpicked ones, and generally did all kinds of heavy lifting.

And watching him wreaked all kinds of havoc on her tortured mind.

Because, though she knew she shouldn’t have gone to him the other night, the fact remained that she
had
gone to him. He had a fascinating ability to get her mind off the topics eating at her, and she couldn’t help but want to be distracted by him again.

And it only had a little to do with the fact that she was angry with her entire family.

Mostly, she just wanted to be with Ben.

But he fuzzed up her mind when she got too close to him, therefore she’d avoided him as rigorously as she’d steered clear of everyone else. She’d spent the past three days passing out cold bottles of water to workers, running fresh-picked cherries to the road stand that was being manned by Megan, or running cherries to The Cherry Basket for food to be made on-site.

The crowds up and down the road were heavy this time of year, and business was good.

Therefore she’d barely had time to work through the fact that her mother had devoted her life to making her kids’ lives miserable before ending it in a pathetic bid for yet more attention.

Or how she, herself, had managed to block every last bit of that for more than a decade.

It had occurred to her that she should look into the disorder. She knew nothing more about Narcissistic Personality Disorder today than what Jaden had explained during their family meeting the other night. Understanding what was behind her mother’s actions might help her to better deal with it, she got that. Possibly it could shed light on how to move on from this point in her life.

Only, she wasn’t yet ready to move on. She didn’t want to deal with more.

She was still processing the pain of her family leaving her in the dark.

Therefore, though she’d spent hours sitting alone at her laptop each of the past two evenings, she’d devoted that time to work. And she hadn’t once typed the name of the disorder into a search engine.

“Miss Dani.”

Dani jumped at the words, and forced her gaze from Ben’s strong back to his daughter’s sweet face.

Haley and Jenna stood just behind her, Mike at their side. A pink bunny rested in Haley’s arms, and Gloria waited a few feet beyond the girls. She’d been watching the kids since harvest began while everyone else worked, and Dani had caught all three of them more than once plucking fat cherries straight off the trees.

Dani had given the girls bottles of water and instructed them to thoroughly rinse the fruit before consuming it, but she also remembered doing the same as a kid. And she had
never
taken the time back then to clean a cherry before popping it into her mouth.

“What can I do for you, sweetie?” Dani asked. She took in the girls’ matching pink cowboy boots, Cinderella gracing the front of each.

“Will you be at dinner tonight? We’re helping Miss Gloria cook, but we wasn’t sure if you’d be there. We wanted to make your favorite food.”

Guilt heated Dani’s chest. She’d not only avoided talking to her family this week, but she’d avoided dinners, as well. Which meant, she’d barely spent any time with the girls at all.

“Do you happen to know what my favorite food is?” she teased instead of answering.

She really shouldn’t skip it. She’d barely seen any of her brothers since they’d been home.

Haley looped an arm through Jenna’s. “Grilled trout and baked beans,” she announced.

“And corn bread,” Jenna added.

Dani laughed. These two were so sweet.

If she stayed and ran the farm, she could see—

No, she couldn’t. Jenna would be in California, and Dani wasn’t sure where Ben and Haley would be, though she thought he might be seriously considering Montana.

But also, she couldn’t stay because she had a job waiting for her in New York. As if she could forget that. Her whole life had been leading up to this point, and she wouldn’t blow it now.

Only, she hadn’t signed the lease agreement yet.

Everything was a tangled mess, and she’d essentially shut down over the past few days.

She couldn’t stay that way for long, she knew. She got daily emails asking about the lease or if her broker needed to continue searching, and her new boss had already forwarded her background information on her first project. Everything was moving forward but her.

All she’d managed with any of it was to thank them and promise to reply soon.

Dragging her thoughts back from the deep trenches of her mind, she focused on Haley and Jenna standing in front of her with expectant expressions on their faces. She might be mixed up in a number of ways, but she couldn’t let these two down any more than she already had.

“I’ll be there,” she assured them, and they showered her with exuberant smiles.

The girls skipped back to Gloria, and Dani remained where she was, watching the three of them head the other way as her mind whirled on all the many things she’d been processing that week. She grasped a branch above her head as she fought with one thought that kept pushing to the front of her mind. She wanted to talk to Ben. Maybe he could help her sort through things.

But she was afraid that talking to Ben wouldn’t be talking at all.

And though not talking would be nice, it wasn’t what she needed at the moment.

“I see you’ve missed me.”

As if he’d read her mind, Ben spoke from directly behind her. Dani didn’t even startle. She somehow wasn’t surprised he’d come over. He would have heard his daughter’s high-pitched voice. Thus, he would have seen Dani in the trees.

She lowered her arm and faced him. “You have quite the ego there, Mr. Denton. What would make you think that I’ve missed you?”

His gaze roamed over her face before shifting to the tree she stood under. “Because you’re hiding in the trees.”

“I am
not
hiding in the trees,” she protested.

“
And
you’ve been watching me.”

“You’re out of your mind.”

At his raised brows, she crossed her arms over her chest and shot him the same smug look. He just smiled.

“Fine,” she muttered. She lowered her arms. “I watched you a little. But I’ve been watching everyone. And I’m not hiding. I’m resting in the shade.”

“Then why not go to the barn? There’s plenty of shade in there. As well as a fan.”

“Because my dad’s in the barn,” she stated matter-of-factly.

And she was avoiding her dad.

His job this week was to oversee the loading of the trucks, but every time Dani had come within range, he’d turned to her with sympathy in his eyes. Which meant Gabe had told him about the conversation from the other night. If she got too near her dad, he would try to talk about it. And she most definitely wasn’t ready to talk.

Not to him.

Ben studied her without expression for a moment before putting a twinkle back in his eye. He shook his head in denial. “Not buying it, sweetheart. Admit it. You miss me.”

“Ben.”

He took her hand in his and leaned in, and when his mouth brushed against her ear she shivered down to her toes. “Say it,” he taunted. “I’ve missed you, Ben. I shouldn’t have been avoiding you, Ben. I’ll quit right now, and do whatever you want.”

“Ben,” she warned.

“I’ve missed you, too,” he said, his tone turning sincere, and she understood that he was no longer teasing.

She locked her eyes on his, his face only inches from her own, and she saw the honesty of his words. He’d missed her. She didn’t understand the connection between the two of them, but she did acknowledge it.

“Maybe a
little
.” She stressed the last word.

“Maybe a lot.”

At her pointed look, he gave her his hottest smile.

“Put that thing away,” she grumbled. “And the fact that I might have missed you—”

“Do miss me.”

She rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t mean anything. The other night”—she shook her head—“it was just—”

“I know,” Ben interrupted, his tone gentle. “It didn’t mean anything. It was just sex—an outlet for your frustration. Or, that’s what you’ve been telling yourself. But you’re wrong.” At her silent stare, he winked. “Take a walk with me tonight?”

“Oh, I don’t think so.”

“Quit thinking, babe. Just a walk.” He leaned into her space. “Say yes,” he urged.

She shivered instead. “It’s complicated, Ben.”

“I’m aware of that,” he said all too knowingly. “I get it. And I’m here to help.” His thumb slid over her wrist. “After the kids go to bed, just you and me. And just a walk.” He pulled back and peered down at her, the devil once again dancing in his eyes. “Unless you have more frustration to get rid of . . .”

And with that, she thumped him on the chest. “Just a walk,” she stated firmly.

“That’s my girl.” He put her palm to his mouth and pressed a kiss to its center. “I’ll see you tonight.”

He left her there, heading over to grab two ladders at once and move them to another tree, and when Dani forced herself to finally turn away, she saw Gabe watching her from a distance.

Her brother had been trying to talk to her for days, but she’d mastered the skill of avoidance. A skill she also remembered from the days following her mother’s death. Don’t talk about it, and it didn’t happen? She supposed that was the way she’d played it in the past.

In this situation, though, she simply wasn’t ready to talk about it. She was still too angry.

Gabe eyed her carefully now, before doing the same to Ben. But Dani didn’t care what he thought or what he had to say about any of it. In fact, she only cared about one thing at that moment.

That she would be having alone time tonight with Ben.

“Excellent dinner,” Dani’s father announced later that night—for the third time in the past twenty minutes.

Dani didn’t say anything.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” Gloria replied, her voice a little too bright. “I tried to get Dani to sit this one out since we’d planned her favorite meal, but she wanted to help. She, Megan, and I work really great together.”

The table went back to silent, and Dani caught Jenna and Haley exchanging confused glances.

The entire meal had pretty much been that way. Her dad or one of her brothers would speak up with some inane small talk, Dani ignored them, and Gloria filled in the gap. The kids had been quiet, Michelle hadn’t come down due to a headache, and Megan and Ben looked as uncomfortable as two people could possibly look.