Montana Bride (30 page)

Griffin turned back to him and said, “Can I ride him, Karl?”

“As soon as you’re dressed.”

Griffin was already on the porch headed for the front door when Karl stopped him. “And your mother gets her birthday present.”

He saw both children had completely forgotten about the plans they’d made with him the previous evening in the barn. He turned to Hetty and said, “Happy eighteenth birthday, Hetty.”

Hetty stared at Karl in shock. “How did you know that today’s my birthday?”

“The kids told me. They have a surprise for you.”

Bao tied the pony to the hitching post in front of the house and stepped up onto the porch. “Cake burned. Must start over.”

Hetty laughed and said, “It’s enough to know that you baked one in the first place. Thank you, Bao.”

“Not my idea. Kids’ idea.”

“That’s why they came to the barn last night,” Karl explained. “To see if Bao could bake a cake for your birthday.”

Hetty focused her gaze on each of the children in turn and said, “I’m so touched that you remembered. Thank you.”

“So sorry no cake,” Bao said. “Confucius right.”

Hetty smiled. “About what?”

“Confucius say: ‘Success depend on preparation. Otherwise, sure to fail.’ Wake up late. No time to finish cake this morning. Stove too hot. Cake burn. Will try again. Promise cake for supper.”

“You’re a gem, Bao. Thank you,” Hetty said.

Bao turned to the children and said seriously, “I promise make cake. Now you give gift.”

Griffin turned to Hetty and said, “We didn’t have anything to give you for your birthday, so Grace came up with this idea.”

“I know we aren’t your kids,” Grace said. “And now Karl knows it, too,” she continued, holding out a palm to keep either Hetty or Karl from speaking. “But you’re the only mother we have. So Griffin and I decided, if it’s all right with you, from now on we’re going to call you Mom.”

“Yeah, Ma.” Griffin must have seen Hetty’s face contorting because he added, “I mean, if it’s all right with you.”

Karl saw Hetty’s face crumple before she began to cry. He took her in his arms and heard her sob against his shoulder.

“You said she’d like it!” Griffin snarled at his sister.

“I thought she would,” Grace protested. “Hetty, I’m sorry.”

“Grace, Griffin, I’m not mad!” Hetty tore herself from Karl’s arms and turned to face the kids, swiping at her wet face with the backs of her hands and smiling through her tears. “I’m crying because I’m so happy.”

Griffin shared a bewildered look with Karl and shook his head in disgust. “Women!”

“You really don’t mind if we call you Mom?” Grace said.

Hetty held her arms wide. “Come here, both of you.”

Karl saw Griffin was clearly reluctant, but Grace shot him an admonishing look and he stepped close enough for Hetty to wrap her arms around both children.

“I love you both so very much. I can’t think of a better birthday present.” She showered both kids with kisses until the kitten in Grace’s arms began to mew in protest.

“I think my kitten’s hungry, Mom,” Grace said. “Gotta go.”

“Me, too, Ma,” Griffin said. “Gotta get dressed, so I can go ride my pony.”

Karl heard the door slam as the kids disappeared into the house. Hetty turned to share the moment with Karl, but he could barely see the joy on her face, his eyes were so clouded with tears.

Even though Hetty had protested vigorously at Christmas that she wasn’t pregnant, three months later, she was pretty sure she’d been wrong. She sat in one of the two willow rockers that had been moved onto the front porch, a shawl wrapped around her against the spring breeze, and chewed on an already short fingernail.

The courses that were supposed to have begun right after the New Year had never come. Nor had she bled in February or March. It was April, and Hetty could no longer deny the truth.

She was expecting a baby.

Hetty had spent a great deal of the past three months feeling nauseated. She would visit the outhouse first thing in the morning and lose the contents of her stomach, then walk around the rest of the day smiling as though nothing was wrong.

She wasn’t sure why she was hiding her pregnancy from Karl. He’d said at Christmas that he wanted a large family. He might even be ecstatic at the news that she would be giving birth in the fall. Their relationship had improved a little since Karl had confronted her and she’d spewed the truth. But it wasn’t as good as it had been before Karl found out she’d tricked him into marriage.

Hetty hadn’t realized it at the time, but during that month before the truth had come out, Karl had shared himself totally with her. He’d allowed her to see into his heart, to share his dreams. In the three months since, that door had been shut. The vulnerable man who’d admitted he loved her was no more. The magic they’d shared had disappeared like a rabbit stuffed back into the hat.

Even though Karl hadn’t been as open in their conversations in front of the fireplace, they still often made love afterward. The loving was sometimes tender, sometimes passionate, but never entirely satisfying. At least not to Hetty. Because Karl no longer held her in his arms through the night.

It was as though he could no longer bear the closeness to someone who’d lied to him so often and so long. It seemed to Hetty that, although her husband might have forgiven past transgressions, he hadn’t forgotten them.

Quite simply, Karl didn’t trust her. And if he didn’t trust her, how could he ever grow to love her again? Hetty had racked her brain, but she had no idea how to regain his confidence.

Now she’d made matters worse by neglecting to mention that she was pregnant, something Karl surely had a right to know. The longer she waited to tell him, the worse the situation became. She kept putting it off because she didn’t want him to withdraw from her any more than he already had. It was a conundrum for which she had no solution.

Except the truth. Sooner or later, she was going to have to bite the bullet and speak. And face the consequences, whatever they turned out to be.

“I’m done with hanging the wash,” Grace announced as she stepped onto the front porch. “Is there something else you need me to do?”

Hetty and Grace had worked together boiling and scrubbing and wringing out the laundry, but when Grace had offered to hang it, Hetty had gratefully retired to the porch. Even now, she felt too tired to get out of the rocker.

“Stay where you are,” Grace said, dropping into the willow rocker next to Hetty’s.

They rocked in silence for a few moments before Grace said, “When’s the baby due?”

Hetty’s rocker stopped as she planted her feet and sat bolt upright. She stared at Grace aghast. “How long have you known?”

“Since the first trip you made to the outhouse to lose your breakfast,” Grace replied. “And you haven’t washed your rags in months.”

Hetty leaned back in the rocker and set it to rocking again. “The baby’s due in September.”

“When are you going to tell Karl?”

“How do you know I haven’t already told him?”

“Because I haven’t seen him puff out his chest like a rooster and crow to all his friends that he’s going to be a father.”

Hetty smiled. “Is that what he’s going to do?”

“Most likely,” Grace said. “I heard what Karl said at Christmas. He wants kids of his own.”

“He said he wants a big family,” Hetty corrected. “He’s pretty happy with the kids he already has.”

Grace shrugged. “If you say so.”

“I know so.”

“Then why haven’t you told him about the new baby?” Grace asked. “Pretty soon he’s going to figure it out for himself. He’s going to wonder why you didn’t tell him sooner.”

Grace wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know. Hetty was convinced that when she finally confessed she was pregnant, it was going to be a toss-up whether Karl was happy about the news that they were having a baby or upset that she’d kept it from him for so long. He might even be hurt that she hadn’t shared something so special with him.

She was a little surprised that Karl hadn’t already discovered the truth on his own. Her flat belly was a lot rounder these days, and her breasts were so sensitive it was all she could do not to wince when Karl caressed them.

“Why are you so anxious to have me tell him?” Hetty asked.

Grace shrugged again.

Hetty had a sudden thought. “Are you afraid Karl won’t want you and Griffin once he has a child of his own?”

Grace’s mouth twisted wryly. “The possibility has occurred to me.”

“Karl isn’t going to abandon you and Griffin, Grace.”

The girl shrugged again.

Hetty found Grace’s shrugs disquieting. The girl usually said exactly what was on her mind. For some reason she was shrugging instead of speaking. “Why are you so willing to believe the worst of Karl?”

Grace shrugged.

Hetty laid a hand on Grace’s arm. “Talk to me, Grace. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s bothering you.”

Grace jerked free and stood up facing Hetty. “What’s bothering me is you!”

Hetty rose from her rocker, wrapped her shawl more protectively around herself, and said, “Me? What have I done?”

“Maybe
you
won’t want us when the new baby comes,” Grace accused. “Maybe you’ll talk Karl into sending us away.”

“Oh, Grace. That’s never going to happen!”

“That’s what you say now,” Grace said in an anguished voice. “What’s going to happen to me and Griffin when you have a baby of your own to love?”

Grace turned to run, but Hetty caught her wrist before she could get away, then wrapped both arms around Grace to keep her from escaping. When Grace struggled to be free, Hetty said, “You might resent this baby, but I don’t think you want to hurt it.”

Grace froze. She kept her eyes lowered and said, “I don’t see how you could love us the same as a baby of your own.”

“You’re right,” Hetty said. “I won’t love you the same.”

Grace’s green eyes flashed up at her. “So I was right!”

Hetty brushed a flyaway red curl behind Grace’s ear. “You’re completely, totally wrong. I won’t love you the same, I’ll love you more. Because you’ll not only be my daughter, you’ll be the new baby’s sister.”

Grace frowned. “I never thought of that.”

“Tell me this, Grace. Do you think
you
can love the new baby? I mean, you already have a brother to love,” Hetty reminded her. “Do you think your heart can make room for one more? Another brother? Or perhaps a sister?”

Grace made a face. “I see what you’re doing.”

“What am I doing?”

“You’re trying to show me that you can love more than one person at a time. But this isn’t the same!” Grace argued. “The baby will be
yours.
You just picked me and Griffin up along the trail.”

Hetty hugged Grace hard and let her go. “I’ll always love you and Griffin. That’s never going to change. No matter how many more children I have.”

“
More
children?”

Hetty whirled at the sound of Karl’s voice. “Where did you come from? Where’s Griffin?”

“He decided to spend a little more time in the barn grooming his pony.” His gaze swept from Hetty to Grace and back again.

“Am I missing something?”

Instead of answering him, Hetty said, “Aren’t you back early?”

“Bear scare.”

“What’s that?” Hetty asked.

“Grizzly out of hibernation,” Karl explained. “Dennis found tracks all around the area where we planned to start cutting this afternoon. It’s not safe to work there until we can hunt him down.”

“You’re going bear hunting?” Hetty said in disbelief.

“Bright and early tomorrow morning,” Karl confirmed.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Grace asked.

“We’ll have guns,” Karl said with a reassuring smile. “All the bear has is teeth and claws.”

“And stealth and cunning,” Hetty added.

“Aren’t grizzly bears huge?” Grace asked, her eyes wide with fright. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You’re not planning to take Griffin along on this hunt, are you?” Hetty asked.

“I was. Yes.”

“He’s just a boy!”

“A growing boy. Soon he’ll be a man. Besides, he wants to come.”

“He wants to do a lot of things he shouldn’t do,” Hetty shot back.

“I promise I won’t let anything happen to him, Hetty.”

“What if that bear has different ideas?” Hetty realized her voice was rising, that she was overexcited, and that her stomach was starting to revolt. She put a hand over her mouth, but it was too late. She ran for the edge of the porch, bent over, and lost the contents of her stomach in the weeds.

“Grace, go get a damp cloth,” she heard Karl say.

She was still retching, although there was nothing left to come up, when she felt Karl’s hand on her shoulder.

“Hetty, what’s wrong? I’m sorry. If you’re so scared it makes you sick, I’ll leave Griffin home.”

Mercifully, the retching stopped. Grace arrived a moment later with a damp cloth, which Hetty used to wipe her face, and a glass of water, which she used to rinse her mouth.

“Tell him,” Grace said fiercely.

“Tell me what?” Karl demanded. “What the hell is going on here, Hetty?”

“I’m pregnant.”