Moments in Time (4 page)

Hooked up? What does that even mean? I felt like an idiot not knowing. My blood was back to whooshing in my ears so fast I couldn’t concentrate. I had questions. So many questions they all jumbled together.

“How come you never said anything?”

“Like I said, I thought you were straight.”

“You still could have told me.”

“You could have told me too.”

Touché.
My fingers ran along the edge of my pillowcase, playing with the trim as I screwed up the courage to say what was playing on an endless loop in my brain. “Tanner?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gay.”

I
DIDN
’
T think it was possible for any two words to mean as much as it felt like those two meant. Heat and cold flooded my body at the same time. Sure, I’d thought it was possible I was gay. More than possible. But somehow, even though I’d already known, I never in a million years thought I’d ever tell anyone else. Saying it out loud, to someone else, to Tanner, my roommate, whom I’d been trying not to fantasize about since we met, blew my mind.

“I’m glad.” Tanner’s voice startled me.

“What?”

He sat up and shrugged. “I’m glad you’re gay. I’m glad you told me.”

Of all the reactions I could have gotten to announcing I was gay, that had to be one of the best-case scenarios.
Shit. Did I just come out?
I grabbed my Snapple and took a big gulp. I needed something normal, something familiar to focus on so I wouldn’t give in to the panic I felt. The weird thing was, as much as it terrified me to think about what I’d just said, what we’d just done, another part of me was more at peace than I think I’ve ever been in my life. Like I was caught up in a huge storm, but a small part of me was at the eye, where everything was calm. I took another deep swallow, concentrating on the way the cold liquid felt spiraling down my throat.

My vocabulary had reduced to almost nothing, but I managed a “Thanks.”

Tanner smiled. “Tonight would have been pretty fucking awkward if you weren’t.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Shit, it’s cold.” Tanner shifted around until he was under the covers. “You sure you don’t want a blanket?”

“I’m sure.” I drained the rest of my drink and tossed the bottle into the recycling bin. When I glanced back at Tanner, he was looking straight at me.

“You could sleep here.”

Did he just ask me to sleep in his bed? With him?
My heart forgot it was supposed to keep to a certain rhythm and ping-ponged around my chest. Tanner scooted over a tiny bit, and his gaze darted down to the bed. He looked a little nervous, and that made me feel more at ease.

My feet didn’t even feel the floor as I took the few steps toward him and sat down, half expecting him to say he’d changed his mind or that he’d meant something else, but he just held up the covers so I could get under them with him. Lying back against his pillow, I couldn’t contain the thoughts swirling in my brain. I hadn’t been in bed with another person in ages, and even then it had only been a few times. The only times it was with a guy was when my brother Sean and I had to share a bed when we stayed at our grandmother’s house for a week each summer. And that hadn’t happened in years.

“You tired?” Tanner’s voice was soft and low, almost a whisper, like he was afraid he’d wake me if I was already dozing off.

Fat chance. The way my body was buzzing, I wasn’t sure I’d ever sleep again. “Nope. You?”

“Not really.”

Did he move closer, or is he just rolling over?
I wriggled to try to give him more room in case I was taking up too much space. Then I felt it. His cock bumped against my hip.
He’s hard. Again. For me?
My cock liked the idea of that enough, it propelled me onto my side so we were face-to-face, dick to dick. Tanner’s breath smelled like Coke. His side of the room was brighter than mine. I could see his features more clearly—his eyes dark as night, his lips parted just enough that I could imagine slipping my tongue between them. I’d never noticed how thick his eyelashes were, or at least I’d never thought about it, but with his face so close, they looked like dark wings as his eyelids drifted shut, his body drawing closer… and then his mouth was on mine.

As intense as the other kisses were, this was somehow more. Slower, less frantic, deeper. His tongue explored my mouth with long, slow passes, like we had all the time in the world and nothing to do or think about other than kissing. Tanner’s lips were sweet, but his tongue was vaguely spicy. He tasted fucking incredible. His hand cupped the back of my neck again, and I sighed so deep in my throat that I felt it vibrate all the way into my chest.

Tanner’s cock flexed against my stomach, and I strained to be closer to him. This wasn’t some heated spontaneous act of passion. This was… this was… real. His hips moved, and I bucked against him. God he felt good—hard cock, lean body, warm tongue. My brain spun from the mix of sensations.

His mouth slid from my lips to my neck. “It’s okay to touch me, you know.”

I struggled to swallow.
Touch him.
“Okay.”

It wasn’t cold anymore, but I shivered. His breath heated my neck. Silky hair swept across my chin as he moved to my collarbone, his teeth grazing my skin. My hand shook as I brought it to his waist. He sucked in a breath as his muscles bunched beneath my fingers. Taking that as a positive sign, I inched my hand between us. His shorts were soft cotton, like a T-shirt, and I could feel every ridge, every contour of his erection as I palmed it through the thin fabric.

Tanner hissed the second I started to stroke. Knowing I’d made him make that sound turned me on more than I could have thought possible. Do. Not. Come. I didn’t know what to focus on. I didn’t want to fuck up what I was doing, but if I thought about his cock too much, I was going to explode. If I thought about my cock, forget it. Then his hand wrapped around me and I couldn’t think at all.
Fuck
.

He gave a few slow strokes through my shorts, then slipped his hand inside. I whimpered at the feel of his skin against mine. His cock expanded in response.
I guess he likes sounds
. I couldn’t remember a time when I’d done anything sexual and made so much noise. Usually silence was essential, part of the deal, so parents or roommates wouldn’t hear.
Not tonight.

Tanner let go of me and tugged at my shorts. As soon as I started to push them down, he rolled onto his back and took his own off, kicking them away under the covers before rolling toward me. This time when I touched him, I felt him. Smooth, hot skin slid beneath my fingers, gliding up and down his length. He was uncut, like me, and I was grateful. I’d heard cut guys talk about how it hurt to jerk off without lube. I already felt like I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, at least this felt… familiar.

My palm grew slick with precome as the sound of stroking filled the room. Was there any sound sexier? I couldn’t think of one. I couldn’t think past how amazing it felt to have him in my hand. Pulling his skin taut, I lightly stroked his balls and was rewarded with a deep groan as his hips started to pump into my fist.

“Fuck, yes.”

Hearing his voice all choked and strained made me even harder. His breaths grew faster, fierce puffs that let me know he was getting close. Nothing in the world seemed more important than making him come. I wanted it. Wanted to know I’d made it happen. Nudging his head away, I found his lips with mine and kissed him, hard. This time he whimpered. The sound shot through me like it was electric, sending goose bumps scattering all over my body.

Feeling bold, I shoved him onto his back. With girls I’d always been so gentle, moved with so much care, not wanting to hurt them or scare them. With Tanner? He was my size, almost exactly, and probably a little stronger. I wasn’t worried about being too rough—I wasn’t worried about anything. I just wanted to keep touching him. Stroking his cock felt amazing. Like stroking my own but different. Mesmerizing.

Gauging his response, I varied my grip, my speed. He moaned into my mouth, and his tongue could no longer keep the rhythm of our kiss. I pulled my head away, wanting to watch, needing to see that this was actually happening. Tanner must have needed the same thing because his head lifted off his pillow as he shoved the blankets out of the way.

The sight of his cock thrusting into my fist nearly undid me. Each pump made my cock throb. Beads of precome ran down my length.

“Fuck, Collin. So good. Don’t stop.”

Stop?
I couldn’t have stopped if my life depended on it.

Tanner groaned and arched back, his head pressing hard into the pillow. His cock got even thicker, and I felt the pulse travel up through him.
Jesus.
Come splattered on his chest and abs, coating my hand. I slowed my stroke, not wanting to stop before he was ready. He grabbed my wrist to let me know he’d had enough.

I let go, reluctantly, my body still humming from the thrill. Tanner reached under the covers and came up with his shorts. He swiped them over himself, then handed them to me. I wiped my hand, amazed at how much he’d shot, considering it was his third orgasm in probably less than two hours.

His breathing slowed, and he turned to look at me. “Guess now we both need to do some laundry.”

Laughter snorted out of me, but only for a second, because then a mouth covered mine. This kiss was slow and deep like the other one, and I leaned into it. He pulled back slowly, his hand running up and down my back, then curving around my side, then around my cock. I flinched from pleasure. I was so full of need, my eyes were swimming in it. Tanner’s lips slid to my neck again. A slow, lazy slide. He was all loose limbed from his climax, while I was so tight I could have snapped in two at any moment. He let go of my cock, and I had to stop myself from begging him to put his hand back where it had been.

“Tell me what you like.”

His voice was low and soft and rippled through me like a breeze. I opened my mouth but realized I didn’t have an answer. “I don’t know.”

Shit, I felt stupid. How could I not know what I liked? What I wanted? Tanner didn’t seem to care about my answer one way or another, he just kept rubbing his hand over me, up my back, down my chest, over the length of my thigh—everywhere but my cock.

“You want to show me?”

Show? As in jerk off while he watched?
My stomach clenched with equal parts desire and abject terror. I shook my head. “I can’t.”

I closed my eyes, feeling lame and even dumber.

His mouth moved over my ear. “How about if we go down to your car?”

I laughed even though I felt like crying. “Very funny.”

“I take that as a no. Guess I’ll just have to figure out something to do here.”

His hair tickled my neck as he placed a kiss on my chest. Warm breath spread across me as he shifted in the bed, kissing lower.
Jesus God.
His hand slid back and forth, up and down my thigh, grazing my balls but still not touching my cock.

Tanner lifted his head and glanced up at me with a crooked smile. Our eyes locked. I couldn’t breathe. My heartbeat drummed in my ears, behind my eyes, deep inside my belly. Tanner’s gaze held mine as his lips parted. I couldn’t even blink.
Please. Oh, please
. Then his mouth was on me. His hot, wet tongue swirled around my swollen head, then slid down my length as he took me deep into his throat.

A cross between a sigh and a growl tumbled out of me, and Tanner’s eyes closed with what I recognized as pleasure. He was enjoying this too. He liked having my cock in his mouth. The thought in itself was almost enough to push me over the edge, but I didn’t want this to stop. Not yet. Not ever. His tongue swirled over me as his head moved up and down. I’d only ever had two blowjobs before, and, to be blunt, I hadn’t understood what all the fuss was about. Now I got it.

Tanner sucked my cock like there was nothing in the world he’d rather be doing. Strong fingers dug into my hip, holding me still as he worked me over, lips and tongue moving over me in ways I didn’t know were even possible. I hit the back of his throat, but somehow he didn’t gag, he just sucked harder, took me deeper. His hand slipped around, cupping my balls, tickling just below them so close to my ass that my whole body tensed. I sniffed in a breath so hard my brain tingled like I’d breathed under water.

My cock begged for release. I felt myself cresting past the point of no return.
Oh God. Oh yes. Please
. I tried to find the words to warn him. “Tanner… I… fuck….”

He pressed his hand firmer against my balls, fingering that same spot in front of my hole. This time when I tensed, it was all over. Come rose through my length so white-hot and fast I thought I might black out. Stars streaked before my eyes, and Tanner swallowed all around me, the pull of his mouth drawing everything out of me—come, breath, and sounds I didn’t know I was capable of making. My abs clenched so hard I rose up off the bed, then fell back against it, my body convulsing.

Tanner slowed but continued to suck, gentle licks replacing the heated swirls. My brain felt warm and staticky, like a blanket fresh from the dryer. My eyes wouldn’t open. I felt Tanner shift in the bed until he was alongside me again. He leaned toward me, and my head turned on instinct so our lips met for a brief kiss.

The last thing I remembered was his arm tugging me closer as I slipped into the darkness.

W
ARM
. B
RIGHT
.
My brain woke up before the rest of my body. My eyelids were still shut, but everything was practically glowing yellow and orange.
What the hell?
I blinked, squinting into the light, disoriented by the stream of sunshine pouring through the window. Why is the window on the other side of the bed?

Then it hit me.
I’m in Tanner’s bed.
Memories of the night before came back in a rush. Trying to process it, I rolled onto my back.
I’m alone.
Tanner wasn’t in the bed or anywhere else in the room. The bathroom door was open, and it was dark inside. My stomach went cold. Tanner was even less of a morning person than me, if that was possible. And he didn’t have class on Tuesday mornings. He never got up early if he didn’t have class.