Mistletoe Courtship (8 page)

“I'm glad,” Virginia said simply.

By then the milk was steaming in the pan and Colter reached over with the towel he'd been holding to pull the pan to the side of the stove. Then he stepped over to the cupboard and brought
down two clean cups. He poured the milk into the cups and Virginia put the chocolate in it.

“It must have been hard for you to lose your father,” Colter said a few minutes later as they sat down at the table in the main part of the saloon. He'd left the one lantern in the kitchen and there was only one other in the room so the shadows were deep.

“I would have died in his place,” Virginia said. “Or at least taken his scars onto my hands if it would have been possible. But there was no way—”

Colter nodded. “I wish I had known my parents. To feel that way about them.”

Virginia didn't answer so Colter took a long sip of cocoa.

“Playing snowballs with the boys this afternoon must have reminded you of things you did with your family?”

“Oh, no,” Virginia said abruptly. “We never did anything like that.”

That surprised Colter, but he didn't let it show. “Well, I suppose each family does different things.”

“I wanted to learn to ice skate, but my father was afraid I'd fall and hurt my hands.”

“But surely—”

“That's why I'm just learning to cook. I wasn't supposed to be near a stove either.”

Colter had to restrain himself from standing up and going over to take Virginia in his arms. What kind of a childhood had it been if she had to worry all the time? Even he had been allowed to grow like a wild weed.

 

Virginia bit her lips. She'd never told anyone that much about her childhood and she was regretting it already. She didn't want to make her father sound unfair. He had his reasons for protecting her. He envisioned great things for her. It wasn't
his fault that she wasn't good enough to step into the life he wanted her to have.

“I was allowed to plant a tree outside my window,” Virginia finally said. She wouldn't admit that it was actually the gardener who had handled the shovel. The tree had been hers in the way that mattered.

“That must have been fun,” Colter said.

She eyed him carefully to see if he was mocking her, but he wasn't. His eyes gazed at her with kindness though, and a hint of pity.

“I've always loved trees, too,” Colter said. “I plan to plant a whole bunch of them when I find a place out by Dry Creek. Cottontail grass grows strong there so there's water for trees.”

“Is that where you plan to move?” Virginia was happy to leave behind the subject of her miserable childhood. After all, many people had far worse childhoods. She'd had everything she needed. Food. Clothes. Music lessons.

Colter nodded. “I've got my eye on some land out by the Hargroves. Jake says there's talk of cattle coming to the area. Longhorns coming up from Texas. They'll do good in the sagebrush land out there.”

“It'll be nice for the children to have a home.” Virginia felt a wistfulness rise up in her. “You'll plant the trees by the house, won't you?”

Colter nodded. “Just as soon as I get a house built.”

“Ah,” Virginia said. She shouldn't have gotten so caught up in the dream. “There's not much around there to build houses out of.”

The steamer from Fort Benton brought in cut timber and the boards were freighted down to Miles City in wagons. But it was expensive. If Colter built a house out by the Hargroves it would likely be built of sod. Even that wouldn't happen until the snows melted.

“I'm sure the children will appreciate any house you build them,” Virginia said. And then she drained the last of her cocoa from the cup.

“I can afford to build a house,” he said sharply.

“You won't be getting any income from the saloon for a while,” Virginia pointed out. “And you'll have other expenses. The children will need shoes before long. And probably a new winter coat for each of them. Not to mention food.”

“We can't keep living at the saloon though,” Colter said. “Not if I'm out at Dry Creek getting things ready to buy a herd of longhorns.”

“At least wait until spring,” Virginia said. “They get snow drifts six or seven feet tall out there. I was out to visit Elizabeth Hargrove one day and couldn't get back to town for two days. The Hargroves don't suffer because they've spent months filling in every gap in the walls. And they are a family—”

Virginia stopped. She had no right to be concerned about any of this.

“And the children and I aren't?” Colter asked, obviously misunderstanding her stumble. She couldn't explain her feelings about his family though. She hardly knew what it meant herself.

Virginia looked down. “It's just I don't think Patricia has really decided to stay. In fact, I think she wants to leave and go looking for her mother.”

“That'd be a disaster,” Colter muttered.

“I don't want her to go either,” Virginia said. “But I think I understand why she wants to. Her mother is all she has.”

“She has me now.”

Virginia looked at the determination in Colter's face. His jaw was set, his eyes flashing. He'd protect Patricia with his life.

“Yes, she has you,” she agreed.

Virginia hadn't intended for the forlorn sound to be in her
voice. She looked up at Colter, her eyes stricken, and saw him gazing back at her with kindness on his face. And something more that she wasn't sure about.

“She has you, too,” Colter said gently. “If you want, you can be part of our family—me and the children.”

Virginia swallowed. She didn't know what to say to that. She had her plans. Her dreams. And what about Lester? It was all going to make her cry, and she didn't want to do that in front of Colter. So she stood up.

“I find I'm a little tired, after all,” she said.

And with that, she stood up and walked over to the stairs leading up to the second floor. The tears started to fall after she had taken a step or two up, but she kept her head high. She knew Colter couldn't see her tears and would have no idea she was crying unless she dipped her head.

She reached her room and closed the door before her tears blinded her. She realized it wasn't thoughts of Lester that brought the tears. He might be her destiny someday, but he wasn't the one who broke her heart.

It was Colter. What was she to do? The one thing she had learned from her father was that it was crippling to try to live a life for which she didn't have the natural talents. She had not been able to play the piano as well as her father wanted, but with Colter her inadequacies would be even more glaring.

Just watching Elizabeth Hargrove in the past had made her aware of how much a woman needed to know to make a comfortable home for her family in this land. Virginia didn't know how to can vegetables, or grow vegetables. In fact, she realized with a final sob as she threw herself on her bed, she didn't even know how to cook vegetables. They always ended up burnt or mushy. And often both. She could brew a good cup of tea and make a passable kettle of soup, but—Oh, dear, she just realized…Colter loved fried chicken. She'd seen how many
pieces he'd eaten at the church dinner. She'd be hopeless at cooking chicken.

She wasn't sure even God could cure her deficiencies. Her gaze was drawn upward anyway. She didn't know who else to turn to with the churning inside her. It was as though hope was shining somewhere, but it was out of reach for her.
Please, Lord,
she prayed,
make your grace shine upon me.

The thought came to her that maybe her desire to move back east was only hiding the real longing of her heart—to have a home where she was loved and accepted.

C
olter woke to the sound of a dog barking. The sky was still dark outside, but the sun was struggling to come up. He couldn't find any enthusiasm to greet a new day. His back hurt and the rest of him felt worse.

He had slept in a hardback chair so he'd be ready to stop anyone from entering the saloon. He'd bolted the back door so no one could get inside that way without making enough noise to wake him. He hadn't counted on the stray dog going between the front and back doors all night whimpering as if he knew someone was inside.

Finally, Colter put the rest of the milk in a dish with some scraps from dinner and opened the door. The dog came up to him, its gray fur matted in places and a rib or two showing. Dogs generally protected the places where they ate and Colter reasoned the animal would earn the food by barking if anyone came close. He might have even said something like that when he bent down to let the dog smell his hand. He stayed to rub the animal's ears.

Now that dawn was showing up, Colter figured he might as well stretch his legs and see what the day held. The air was
chilly and he could see thin layers of ice along the dirt street where the snow had melted yesterday. He set his feet down softly so his boots wouldn't make any noise as he walked around the side of the saloon. He heard a low growl from the dog before the animal passed him by and raced around to the back of the saloon. Colter flattened himself against the side of the saloon and got ready to fight.

It was the cat. Colter was glad it was still dark enough that no one could see him make his legendary fast draw on a scrawny yellow cat. Although when he saw how the cat managed to outrun that dog, Colter concluded he wouldn't want to underestimate the furry ball of fur as an adversary.

Since the morning was growing lighter, Colter decided he might as well check around the saloon for footprints. The only tracks in the snow between his saloon and Lester's were from the dog and cat. He wondered if Lester ever put food out for them in back of his saloon.

Naw, Colter shook his head. The other man had never struck him as the generous type. Or really any kind of a good type. Which was why it was such a mystery to him that the man had won over Virginia.

The thought was enough to sour a man's morning. Virginia couldn't have left him any faster last night if the place had been on fire. It was downright discouraging when even a hint of a proposal drove her away from him that quickly.

He stood for a bit, looking down the alley to be sure no dark shape was hiding in the shadows. He'd spent a night or two stretched out in an alleyway himself years ago and it wasn't the worst place he'd laid his head.

Colter turned to go back to the front door when he saw the dog coming back down the street toward him again. The poor fellow looked as discouraged as Colter felt with his mouth open and his tail hanging low. Colter figured he might as well
wait and greet the dog before he went back inside. Maybe it would cheer them both up.

Neither one of them had an easy life. He'd bet that dog had been the runt of the litter. Colter hadn't been small, but he'd always been the one to get the least at his uncle's table. Not that he blamed his uncle. As the man had said many times, he'd been under no obligation to take Colter in when his parents had died. His uncle counted every bite of food Colter ate and made sure he paid for it through his work.

“Hi ya, fella,” Colter said as he crouched down to scratch the animal's ears.

The chill of the morning felt good on Colter's face as he stood up. The sun was growing brighter and he could see clearly down the street now. The quiet of night was over. Colter opened the door to the saloon. He'd expected the dog to slip in and it did.

“Lookin' for something more to eat, are you?” Colter said as he followed the dog inside. “You just had a bite. Let me get my own breakfast first.”

He'd noticed there was a side of bacon in the storeroom. Virginia looked like the kind of woman who would keep fresh eggs in the cupboard, too. First, he needed to get the water heating for a shave. And put the coffeepot on. He'd even go ahead and make those flapjacks that he hadn't made yesterday.

Back on his uncle's farm, flapjacks would have brightened his whole day. He guessed he wasn't so easy to please anymore. It was hard to admit that he had nothing in his life now to satisfy the longings that had overtaken him in the past year.

When he'd walked forward in church last winter, he had figured it was good to make his peace with God since he was planning a better life for Danny. The church folks had been kind to the boy and Colter wanted to be sure he kept his place in their affections. Colter thought it wouldn't do him any harm, but truthfully, he wouldn't have bothered if not for Danny.

But somehow things had gotten tangled. He'd started reading the Bible the reverend had given him. No one had warned him God would crack his heart wide-open. And now he just didn't know what to do about people. Danny. Patricia. And then Virginia. She was the one who troubled him most right now. He didn't want to press her about marrying him, not if it made her unhappy. She had looked stricken as she'd walked up those stairs last night.

Before he'd left for Helena, he had felt a stirring toward her. But last night when he saw the scars in her life, he knew he'd devote his life to protecting her if she'd let him.

Ah, that was the problem, he thought as he bent down to scratch the dog's ears. A man didn't always have control over how close another person let him get to them.

He heard the sound of footsteps overhead. That must be Virginia getting up.

“Danny,” Colter gave a call toward the storeroom. They might as well all face the day together.

 

When she awoke, Virginia got out of bed and determined not to spend any more time wishing things were different. The distress of the night had passed. In the morning light, everything seemed clearer. The truth of the matter was that she had lived most of her life without the things she most wanted. Her concert-pianist dream had eluded her. She'd lost her home amidst the trees. Her father had never said he was proud of her or that he loved her. Her mother had been a gray shadow urging her to work harder. But what was the point in feeling sorry for herself? Virginia suspected it was about the same for everyone. It seemed that most people learned to be content without being happy.

There was no reason to expect her desire for a family would come easily. She was about ready to give up on trying to love
Lester. She couldn't marry him. But she didn't think she would make Colter happy either. When he knew how inept she was at the usual things women knew, he would regret marrying her even if he ever made her an offer. No, her best plan was to hope to receive an offer for the job at the school in Denver. Sometimes having half of a dream come true was better than nothing.

As she washed her face, she remembered the feathered bird that had been waiting for her yesterday and she decided it was only fair to give Patricia a morning surprise, too. Years ago, she had purchased a shiny gold pin in the shape of a bird. It was little more than a trinket really, but any girl would enjoy it. So she tiptoed into Patricia's room and pinned the golden bird to a scarf and then draped the scarf over the back of a chair facing the girl's bed.

Following that, she tiptoed out and returned to her room to wait.

She dressed quickly in her old cotton day dress, the one she used when she needed to haul water or scrub the floor downstairs. Then she added a clean apron. A life of work held satisfaction and she would be busy today. First, she needed to take a better look at the scarred floor and see if scrubbing and mopping would make it any better.

Just then there was a squeal from Patricia's room and Virginia went out into the hall.

“Thank you, thank you,” Patricia said as she threw herself into Virginia's arms. “It's a present. I've never had a present before.”

Virginia nodded as she bent down and kissed the top of the girl's head. “Just for you. Your own little bird.”

For a sweet moment, Patricia leaned into her with a hug. Then the girl moved back and looked up in excitement.

“I can't wait to show it to my mother,” Patricia said, her eyes shining. Her longing to see her mother was written plainly on the girl's face.

Virginia ignored the pang of jealousy she felt. What would it be like to be loved like that by a child? “It's time to get dressed. We have a busy day.”

Patricia nodded. “We need to go to the stage office. My mother promised that she'd send me a letter. It should be here by now.”

And with that the girl danced her way back into her room.

Virginia shook her head when the girl shut the door to her bedroom. She, too, had known the tug of loving a difficult parent. It was a peculiar thing—sometimes the less love the parent had to give the more love the child offered them in return.

Well, Virginia thought as she started down the stairs, all she could do right now was to pray Colter had the wisdom to help the girl when she realized her mother was never coming. He'd shared with her some of the conversation he'd had with the girl's mother and Virginia was appalled.

There was nothing she could do about it now though. In the meantime, she could stack up the rest of the dirty cups from last night and take them into the workroom. She could smell coffee brewing so she assumed Colter, and maybe even Danny were up already.

“Good morning,” Virginia called out as she took several cups in her hands and headed toward the workroom door. “I'm bringing dishes.”

She leaned against the door and pushed. It was unlatched so it swung in easily. “I have—” She stopped and looked. “What'd you do?”

There was a big splotch of coffee on the wood floor and Colter was holding a towel over his hand. He was obviously in pain and that stray dog from yesterday was looking at him with mournful eyes.

Colter winced. “I'm just clumsy.”

“You scalded yourself,” Virginia said as she set the cups down on the nearest surface and started looking in the cupboard. “I know we have something in here to make it better.”

When Danny had scraped his arms while climbing a tree last summer, Virginia had bought an ointment at the mercantile.

“I'll be fine,” Colter muttered.

“Here it is,” Virginia said as she spied the green tin. She pulled it out and started to take off the lid. Then she turned to Colter. “You'll need to open your hand so I can put this on it.”

Virginia wasn't prepared for how blistered his hand was. The skin was an angry red. She dipped her finger into the ointment and reached out to put it on his hand when the dog gave a short bark that settled into a deep growl.

“It's fine, old boy,” Colter said as he reached down to put his good hand on the dog's head.

“Looks as if you have a dog.”

Colter shrugged. “I guess he needs a home, too.”

The pain started to ease and Colter looked down. Virginia was concentrating on his hand just like she did on every task. Her movements were precise and controlled. He'd had a gunshot wound or two in his life that had been treated with less compassion.

“It must be because you play the piano,” he finally said. “That you have such gentle fingers.”

Virginia looked up at him with a small frown on her forehead. “Your hand will be all right, won't it? I wouldn't want any scarring,” she added.

“I'll be fine.” Colter gazed right back into her eyes. They were the color of fall grass, where the browns and sun-striped greens melted together on the flatlands. The colors suited her eyes, letting her hide what she was feeling. Even now, despite the concern filling them, he had a feeling secrets lurked behind her eyes. “Whatever that ointment is, it feels good.”

Virginia nodded and started walking around the kitchen. “I'll need a strip of cloth to wrap around your hand. It'll keep the ointment on and the dirt out.”

She found an old piece of cotton cloth in a drawer in the cupboard. Colter figured it had been part of a shirt at one time, but it was clean enough to be useful.

“Now, you be sure and keep your hand free,” Virginia said as she wrapped the cloth around his hand. “Don't use it for anything if you can help it.”

“Well, I'm going to need to get to work around here,” Colter said. Besides, his hand did feel a lot better now that it had the ointment on it. “I have supplies that came in down at the mercantile a couple of days ago and I need to get them in the storeroom.”

“The other men can help you,” Virginia said. “I'll ask Lester to spread the word that we could use some help over here.”

Colter snorted. “Lester? I think we'd do better to ask Petey.”

“I can do that,” Virginia said. “Later. The men won't be at Lester's yet anyway. Noon is when they show up.”

“I suppose the supplies can wait that long.”

“If you're going over to the mercantile, you might want to get a length of cotton cloth for a dress for Patricia. She can wear her boy clothes, but she'll need a dress for church.” Virginia stopped. Then she took a deep breath and continued. “I wish I could do the sewing on it, but I'm afraid I'm not very experienced at that. I apologize. I'm sure Elizabeth would help if we asked her, though. I wish Patricia had something better for school, too.”