Misjudged (6 page)

***

It took Alyssa a few minutes to
take in everything I told her while we sat with our coffees. She’s a motor mouth sometimes, but she can keep some things to herself when she needs to, and this is unquestionably one of those times. I told her everything. I told her every single detail, from when I arrived at the ball, right up until she joined me on the bench just a little while ago.

She admitted to having heard the rumors about Brandon’
s past, and that people have said he’s been inside, but she’d brushed them off because Neil and Ryan never mentioned anything to us. Now though, she seems just as concerned as I am.

I’ve been running things
repeatedly through my mind, ever since Alyssa went to class at eleven, so I guess for about the past six hours now. When Alyssa agreed that things didn’t seem right with him, it made me feel nauseous and unable to think about anything else, so I chose to take the rest of the day off from class too.

Neil is supposed to be cooking tonigh
t, and I thought that he, Ryan, and Alyssa would have been back by now. I’m sure their last class finished at four today.

My cell phone springs to life on the breakfast bar, and when I check it, I see a new
message from Neil flashing on my screen.

Meet us by the gates at 6. We’re going out 4 dinner!

Any reason to get out of cooking dinner and he’ll find one. I roll my eyes as I message my reply, telling him I’ll be there, and then I go to get myself freshened up and changed into something more suitable. If we’re eating out, I don’t honestly think my jogging bottoms and tank top will work somehow. I should have asked where we’d be dining so I could have dressed accordingly, but I figure that since it’s a Wednesday evening then a pair of skinny jeans, a sweater, and my favorite pair of calf-high brown leather boots will be suitable.

Neil and Ryan are waiting by the gates as I
make my way down the pathway, and they wave when they see me approaching them.

“Where are we eating?” While observing the
wide grins over both of their faces, I’m beginning to think there’s more going on here than just dinner. “Why do I get the feeling you guys might be celebrating something?” I narrow my eyes on them as they both glance devilishly at one another.

“T
hat’s because we are,” Neil smiles brightly as he wraps his arm around my shoulders. “We may have a gig lined up for this Saturday.”

I
feel my delight growing at their news, “That’s awesome!” I answer as we begin walking down the street. “Where are we eating? You never told me.”

“We thought we’d kill two birds with one stone,” Ryan answers
, as he walks to the left of me while fiddling around on his cell phone. “We’re going to eat and organize it at the same time.”

We head down the second block, and I start slowing my pace when
I realize they’re no longer beside me. I turn around to see Neil holding a door open, and then feel my stomach drop to the floor.

“We’re eating here?” I try not to
make my dismay known as the words leave my mouth, but my voice betrays me. I sound like a freaking chipmunk. I hadn’t realized the bar we’re about to walk held band nights.

“It looks like good food, and Brandon spoke to his boss about lining us up to play
,” Ryan beams as he steps inside, and I hesitantly walk in after him, with Neil following closely behind.

“Is Alyssa joining us?” I
ask as we take a seat at the bar. “Is she and Seth back on?” I hadn’t even asked her what was going on with the two of them because I was so wrapped up in myself, and I’m starting to feel a little bad about it.

“She just messaged me and said
she’s a couple of minutes away,” Ryan smiles, although the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. That’s strange. Only a few minutes ago he was almost bouncing off of the walls with happiness.

“What do you want to drink?” Neil asks as the bartender comes over to take our order.

“Diet Coke, please,” I request, and feel relieved when I scan the room and bar area to find that Brandon’s nowhere in sight. It must be his night off, which I’m feeling highly pleased about.

It’s
quiet in here, although there are a few other people eating at the tables around us. It’s a different atmosphere compared to when I was last here, and thankfully, the dancing pole is unoccupied this time around.

“Let’s go grab a table,
” Ryan tilts his head over to the far corner, and I’m seriously starting to wonder what has gotten into him all of a sudden. He hasn’t been the same since I saw him on his cell phone when we were on our way over here.

“Hey, are you okay?” I
shoot him a worried look as I take my seat, “You’ve gone all, well, grumpy on us!” I laugh out, trying to lighten the mood, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

“Yeah
…” He’s grinding his jaw and looking pissed, so I think I’ll just scan the menu instead of trying to make any more conversation with him for now.

It’s not normal for Ryan to be like this. He’s usually so la
id back and easy going, but I’m sure that if he needs to talk, he knows we’re here for him.

Once Alyssa h
ad arrived, we ordered our food and both she and I decided to stay and wait around for the guys to finish their meeting. They were summoned into the back by one of the female bartenders a little over a half hour ago, and Ryan seemed to perk up after he’d eaten something. The food here is wonderful, and now that it’s almost nine o’clock, more people are appearing through the entrance doors.

“Don’t look now
…” Alyssa nods over towards the bar, and when I turn to see what she’s talking about, Brandon’s making his way behind and carrying a few crates of beer. “Do you feel any better after what happened today?”

“I don’t know,
” I turn back around and take a deep breath. The logical thing to do would be just to ask him. “Do you think that we should maybe ask Neil and Ryan?”

I see her eyes narrowing, but I don’t think it’s at the
question I just asked her. I turn in my seat again and see a woman, possibly in her late twenties, tapping Brandon on the shoulder. I watch him as he turns to face her, and see a wide smile appearing over his face. She walked behind the bar, but she’s not wearing the same uniform as any of the other employees. I observe her flicking her hair behind her shoulder, and notice that she’s wearing an even bigger grin on her face than he is. She leans closer towards him and says something, before he throws the bar cloth he was holding down onto the bar, and then follows her out the back.

“It’s his loss, Alex,
” Alyssa places her hand over mine and squeezes it gently as a look of sympathy washes over her face. I take a deep breath and decide to try and forget about him.

He likes his women. He sleeps around a lot.
He told me that what we did didn’t mean anything, and if my suspicions serve me rightly, he’s an ex-convict and drug dealer who practically killed someone in the process. Yeah, he’s quite the catch.

I shake my head and feel my shoulders
drop as I draw to the conclusion that I’m being ridiculous. Alyssa said that I could be feeling an attraction towards him for the simple reason that he’s the first guy I trusted with my body, and although it felt amazing at the time, it wasn’t the guy that I found attractive, it was the thought of him.

We sit and talk about how both our classes are going
, until Neil and Ryan come back to join us from their meeting.

“And?” I
raise my eyebrows, and can see from both of their faces that it’s good news.

“Saturday night we have a two hour set!” Neil answers enthusiastically, and both Alyssa and I
jump up and hug them both as we congratulate them. “Are you guys ready to head home?”

We all agree and make our way
towards the exit, when from the corner of my eye, I see Brandon walking over to us. 

“Congrats, guys!” He smiles at them, and I
notice him scanning his eyes over to me briefly, but I look away and go to wait outside for them to finish their goodbyes. I don’t want to be in his company right now. I can’t seem to be able to think straight when he’s around me.

A couple of minutes
pass before I hear Alyssa giggling at something that Neil just said to her on their way out.

“
Here,” Ryan passes me a folded piece of paper, and I look at him questioningly as I go to take it from him. “James asked Brandon to pass it to you. He said it has something to do with rehearsal time,” he makes a face as he hands it over.

James asked him to?
James has my cell number and we only rehearsed last night. We start walking home and the curiosity gets the better of me, so I slow my pace while I unfold the piece of paper.

Meet me by the lake at seven tomorrow night.

Don’t
judge me before you get to know me, please?

“Well? What does it say?” Alyssa tries to
read over my shoulder with curiosity in her eyes. “I know it’s not from James. Dammit, Alex! Brandon couldn’t keep his eyes off of you the entire time he was working behind the bar,” the corners of her lips rise briefly before she lets out a sigh. She leans over and reads the note for herself. “You should go and meet with him.”

“Are you ladies coming or what?” Neil calls back to us, and when I look up,
I see that they’re already half way up the street.

“But
…”

“No
buts, Alex,” she says sternly, and I know when she isn’t to be reckoned with. “I’ve never seen you get so uptight about anything, or anyone, like this before. I can see you like him, even if he might be—”

“What? Totally wrong for me?” My
voice holds a hint of sarcasm, but it’s not directed at her personally, and she knows this. It was aimed at myself.

She shrugs as
we pick up the pace and catch up with the guys.

Don’t
judge him. That might be easier said than done.

I Felt It.

“You were distracted again, Alex,” James’s voice is flat, and although he’s usually extremely placid, I think I’ve actually managed to piss him off this time. “Do you think we’ll be able to get through the audition if you don’t put your heart and soul into it?”

I let out a deep sigh,
and then lean forward and bang my head lightly on the desk a couple of times in pure frustration. Honestly? No. My head is somewhere else. It’s in the same place it has been for the last few days. How can one guy have such an impact on me after only six days? Six freaking days!

I
stand up and grab my bag, “I need to take a break. I’m going to sit outside for a little while,” I tell him as I make my way down the steps and towards the exit.

“I’m gon
na see if I can switch partners,” I hear James mutter angrily from behind me. I don’t blame him. He’s working exceptionally hard on this, and I’m not only ruining my chances, but his as well. “This isn’t working,” he walks by me without even so much as a goodbye.

“James!” I call after him and
see him immediately stop and turn around. “Just five minutes and then I promise I’ll be ready.”

He shakes his
head and relaxes his shoulders, “Come on,” he answers in an even tone, while holding the door open and waiting for me to catch up to him.

I certainly don’t
want to have to start rehearsing with a new partner, and it would be embarrassing if I would have to explain to Professor Hardy why James no longer wants to work with me.

We sit on the grass outside the arts building in silence for a few minutes as James flicks through his notes, and although I know my lines, I’m just not feeling them whatsoever.

“It’s the kiss. It just lacks …” He’s shaking his head as he places his file to the side, “Listen, I know it’s a little weird having to do this but can you try and think back to a time where you felt ... I don’t know … It needs to be—”

“Passionate?” I
simply answer and watch as he turns to face me, “Let’s go again.” I tell him with all seriousness.

We jump
onto our feet and start rehearsing the lines that lead up to the kissing scene. As we stand a couple of feet apart from each other, I close my eyes and think back to the way Brandon kissed me. Yeah, I know, it’s totally absurd. What makes it more ridiculous is the fact that I’m thinking about a Brandon that doesn’t even exist.

I think back to the way he ran his fingers over my body
, and the manner in which he kissed me, with what felt like pure desperation. I’m starting to feel warm and tingly in my lower body, and I’m getting breathless just thinking about how it felt when he slid his fingers inside … that’s enough.

I
practically lunge myself at James and grab at his hair, while pulling his face to mine as I smash my lips onto his. I hear him letting out a gasp, and notice that his whole body stills, as I slide my tongue into his mouth. After a few moments, his tongue joins with mine, and he cups my face tenderly while pulling me further into him. He slides his hands down to my waist and grips tightly on my hips.

All I can think about is the way Brandon kissed me, how he held me in his arms, and how he did
magical things with his hands. I think I’m in trouble.

I let out a
small moan and only let go when I hear whistling from behind me.

“Get a freaking room!” I
step away when I hear a few people laughing at the comment that has been thrown our way, and when I look up, I see James’s eyes widening. He looks slightly taken aback.

Holy hell! I just
threw myself at him, “I’m sorry! Don’t be mad …”

“That was perfect!”
His face has turned from one of shock to joyful in a split second, and I find myself sighing in relief. I thought he was going to be mad at me or something. “Whoever you were thinking about just now, he’s a pretty lucky guy!” He shakes his head and lets out a small laugh, before standing forward and kissing me on the forehead.

“So, are you happy to stay partners with me now?” I look up and
see him grinning back at me. I feel so relieved.

He winks as he put
s his right arm around my waist, “After that performance? Hell yeah, I am! I think it may well cause quite a stir come Friday morning!” He chuckles lightly, and I know what he’s referring to. I can just imagine the daggers I’ll receive from some of the other girls when we perform on stage in front of them.

“Shoot, I need to go,” I tel
l him once I see what the time is. “Do you want to get together and have one more practice before Friday?” I ask as I turn to face him again.

“Sounds good to me!” He confirms excitedly, with his eyes shining brightly
on me.

“Great!” I
return his smile with my own, before I step out of his hold and walk in the direction of my dorm.

It’s been one hell of a long day, and I only have a couple of hours before I’m supposed to be meeti
ng with Brandon. That’s if I decide to go at all. I’m still unsure about whether I should or not.

I’m feeling torn and wonder whether Alyssa will be home yet, so she can help me to
rationalize my thoughts.

***

After saying goodbye to James, I arrive back at the dorm just before five, and as I’m putting my manuscripts away, I hear the front door closing. I’m hoping it’s Alyssa so she can try and help me decide on what I should do.

When I step out of my room, I see Neil jumping over the back of the couch as he takes his usual seat in front of the widescreen.

“Hey, Alex!”
He greets me as I walk over to him, and taps his hand on the space beside him. That’s his way of saying he wants me to go and join him, and I think now might be a smart time to probe him about Brandon.

He and Brandon have been friends much longer than he and I have, but I feel as though I’ve made a lifelong
friend in Neil, so I know he’ll be honest and upfront with me.

“Ca
n I ask you something, Neil?” My voice sounds raspy and hesitant as I take a seat beside him. “How well do you know Brandon?”

He takes his gaze away from the screen
, and focuses his attention wholly on me with confusion spreading over his features. “What do you mean?”

“After you and Ryan finished high school,
and you both travelled the world before starting college …” I hesitate because I’m feeling awkward for asking Neil about him. “I just wondered if you still kept in touch with Brandon while you were away, that’s all.”

He’s eyeing me speculatively, and I’m wondering if I’ve approached t
his the right way, “Not so much. I guess you just lose touch when you go and do different things. Why do you ask?”

“I heard something today,
” I look away from the fixed gaze he has on me before asking my next question. If he confirms that what Matt said was true, then it’s obvious he’s still selling drugs, and to be honest I don’t think I’ll be able to hide my disappointment when he answers me. “Is it true he went to jail for dealing?”

He inhales a sharp breath, and when I
turn back to face him, I see the lines of his brow creasing from my question. The answer I’ve been dreading to hear doesn’t seem so far away if the look on Neil’s face is anything to go by.

“Yeah, it’s true,” he answers with a sigh
, as he sits a little straighter in his seat and turns himself around, until he’s fully facing me. “He got out about a month ago.”

I
feel my heart almost jumping into my throat, and a knot forming again in my lower abdomen when he confirms that Matt was right. 

“I saw something,
” I hadn’t realized how fast I’d spoken the words or how breathy I’d become. “Is he a user as well?”

He appears to be
somewhat intrigued now, “Wait, backtrack a little bit,” his voice hints surprise, and he never mutes the TV for any topic of conversation, well until now, apparently. “You said you saw something?” 

“I saw him with two guys. They exchanged something with Brandon and then sped
away in a car right afterward,” I can see his eyes narrowing, and he appears to be thinking about something as a frown crosses over his lips. “Could he still be dealing?”

Neil’s
expression is guarded, and I see his jaw tensing. The brightness within his eyes is beginning to fade. I’m not surprised by his reaction, though. I didn’t feel too enthusiastic when I heard what Brandon was up to either.

“What are you guys talking about?” I hadn’t even heard the front door open, so when I hear Ryan’s voic
e behind me, I jump a little.

“Brandon,
” I sigh my reply, and then hear Neil’s cell phone ringing. I don’t say anything else, and watch Neil as he concentrates on his cell, before placing it back into his shirt pocket a few moments later.

He leans over and gives me a peck on the cheek
, “Listen, I’ve got a few things to do before our upcoming gig. I’ll catch you in a little while, okay?” He says his goodbyes and then makes his way out of the dorm.

Ryan leans
on the couch opposite of me and furrows his eyebrows, “What were you guys discussing? He didn’t make a pass at you, did he?” He asks as he narrows his eyes on me. I wasn’t expecting the conversation to turn in an entirely different direction.

“No!” My
voice is a little higher than it usually is, and I can feel my cheeks heating up at his question. He shakes his head and leans back into his seat.

“Thank fuck for that,” he mutters with what sounds like a huge sigh of relief
, and I notice his face beginning to relax.

I’d like to find out a little more as to why it would be such a
concern. He did far more than just make a pass at me, but I don’t think it would be such a fantastic idea to reveal such information at the moment. “Would it be so bad if he did?”

“No,” h
e shakes his head, and his lips stretch into a grim line. “It would be a whole lot worse than just bad, trust me,” he leans over and grabs the TV remote, before focusing his attention on the screen.

“Hey, guys!” I hear Alyssa
bellow as she walks in through the main door. “What’s goin’ on?” She smiles while placing her shopping bags by the side of the couch, before taking a seat beside me.

Ryan looks over at
her with a small smile before landing his eyes back on me. “Alex and I were just talking about Brandon.”

“You told him?” A look of surprise crosses into her eyes as s
he glances between the two of us. “So are you going to meet with him?”

I
shoot her a scowl when I see she has gained Ryan’s full attention, and the worry that has washed over his face doesn’t go unnoticed either.

“I think you
should, I mean, it’s obvious he likes you, too, and …” She hesitates when she sees Ryan’s face filling with fury.

I
glower at Alyssa, and see her grimace when she realizes that this wasn’t what Ryan and I had been talking about. I close my eyes and wait for the interrogation to begin.

“He was the guy from the ball,” I tell him
quietly. When I open my eyes and risk a glimpse at him, I find him studying me with his face turning bleak. “We’re not seeing each other. He made it clear that he’s not interested,” I can’t help the disappointment in my voice when I speak the words out loud, and I notice how Ryan’s face has started to relax at hearing the last part.

Ryan tilts his head to the side, and
the worry in his eyes is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. “You and Brandon?”

“
Hell, Ryan! They only kissed and …” Alyssa pipes up in my defense, and I suppose it’s best to get it all out in the open. Neil and Ryan would probably pick up on the tension between me and Brandon eventually anyway.

He looks deep in thought, and his lips are pressed in a tight
line before he answers, “That’s what concerns me the most.”

“I don’t get it. Why are you so down on the idea? He’s supposed to be your friend, too, isn’t he?”
In no way did I expect him to be overly thrilled by this, but I didn’t think his reaction would be quite so severe.

When we first started sharing the dorm, we all agreed on one rule. That one rule was
to never get involved with anyone else’s friends, or each other, because it would cause too much conflict in the group if things didn’t work out. I can see why now.

“If you and Brandon had met a couple of years ago, then I would have been all for you guys, I
honestly would. In fact, you two would have been perfectly suited back then, and I would’ve been really stoked for you both,” he’s sitting forward in his seat, and I can see he’s only trying to be a good friend. “But, he’s not the same guy now. You’re my friend too, and I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Brandon said he’s not the same person he once was,” I state flatly
. I guess Brandon was being honest with me in what he’d said.