Misjudged (4 page)

“Alex,
” I hear Brandon’s low voice traveling from behind me, and when I turn around, I see he’s jogging towards me with a look of cautiousness spreading over his features. “I thought we were gonna walk back together?”

“It’s
only a couple of blocks away,” I answer, still feeling the disappointment coursing through me when I think back to the things the girl said to him. “Besides, you looked as though you wanted to go with them.”

“Yeah, well I changed my mind,” h
is voice is closer, and I see from the corner of my eye that he’s now beside me. “I’d prefer it if you’d let me walk you back. It’s not safe for you to walk back this late alone, especially on the busiest night of the week.”

What I heard stung
, although I know it shouldn’t have. It’s not as though he promised me forever or anything.

“Are you okay
?” He has a hint of nervousness in his tone, and I can hear the shakiness within his voice.

I shrug
my shoulders in a way of reply, and try not to show my disappointment at what I just learned about his many conquests. I guess I’m another he can add to the list.

“Hey!” His voice is louder. I
feel him place a hand on my right shoulder, which stops me from walking any further, and then I turn to face him. “What’s wrong?”

His eyes are filled with
concern and I let out a sigh. I pause for a moment before turning back around, and then start walking again, but at a slower pace this time. “I guess I thought you were different, that’s all,” I mumble.

He seemed
uneasy from my remark, but he didn’t respond, and we’ve been walking in silence for the last few minutes. I see the college’s entrance gates just a bit further ahead. I’m assuming that last night isn’t even up for discussion.

“Listen,
last night was …” He pauses and looks to be deep in thought for a few brief moments, before focusing his eyes directly into mine. “It was nice.”

“Nice?” I smirk at the
word.
Nice
. I could think of a lot of other ways to describe our encounter, and they would be anything but nice. Nice is without a doubt underestimating how it felt to me.

“Let me explain, please?” He sounds
impatient, and I’m sure I can detect some anxiety in there, too. “Come sit over here for a second.”

He points to one of the benches over on t
he other side of the street, which are just outside of the college’s iron gates. I let out a breath as I follow, and notice him slide closer to me when I sit down and join him.

“I’m gonna be straight with you,” he says,
as he leans his head forward to get a clearer look at me. “Last night was … it was so fucking incredible, but it—”

“It what?” I can hear the harshness i
n my voice, and I’m pissed with myself for wearing my emotions on my sleeve. “It didn’t compare to the woman that was back at the bar? Or any of the other women you—”

“That’s enough!” He sounds angry now, and I see his jaw tightening again as he glares at me. “
You really have no fucking idea.”

“So, it’s not true?
I wasn’t just one of many? Because that girl …” I trail off, hoping he’ll say it’s not true, and she was just confusing him with someone else. I’ve always been a fairly decent judge of character, and I know that last night, well, we had a connection. I felt it, however ridiculous it may sound.

“Not exactly.” His voice is almost a hushed whisper, and I think I
see a haunted look wash into eyes and over his features, when he gives me his answer. “I didn’t do things with the other women that I did with you, Alexis. But I do … I mean … I don’t do the whole relationship thing.”

“So, last night was
?” My eyebrows knit together, and I feel my voice getting a little coarser when I ask. “A one-time thing?”

“Yeah,
basically,” he sounds resigned as he responds. “I don’t have time for anything else.”

“Wow, and to think that I was going to tell you I had a reall
y good time with you last night.” My voice is even, which I’m extremely thankful for, although I see blankness filling his eyes as he listens.

He takes a deep breath
, and runs his fingers through his hair as he stands, before he begins pacing the sidewalk in front of me. His whole face looks impassive.

“Alexis,” h
e hesitates in front of me, and then lowers himself into a kneeling position, before placing his hands on the bench, on either side of me.

His closeness has the same effect on me as it did last night and I
feel a deep heat surging through me. I hate my body for betraying me this way.

“Wh
at we did last night together,” his eyes are flickering over me, and I see what looks to be conflict entering them. “It was amazing, but it can’t happen again.”

He hangs his head low and closes his eyes, before standing himself back up and placing his head in his cupped hands. I can hear his deep breaths, and
see his chest rise and fall with each one that he takes.

“Why?”
Damn my shaky voice, and the knot that’s getting even tighter in my stomach. “When we were outside together you seemed as though you enjoyed every freaking second!”

“I did, and that’s the fucking problem!” I see him balling his fists, and hear the anger in his tone. “Listen, I have a lot to deal with right now, and I don’t
have the time for dating or feelings or—” And here comes the brush off.

“I got it,” t
here’s a harsh tone in my voice as I stand and go to walk towards the campus gates. “Just so you know, I never do the things we did last night with just anybody. You seemed different, but I guess I was wrong.”

I look back over my shoulder and
see him sitting back on the bench, with his head hanging down towards the pavement, and his shoulders slouched low. I can’t even blame my alcohol consumption for what I’m about to do, because I only had a couple of drinks, but I head back over and stand directly in front of him. When he senses me there, he looks up, and I notice the expression on his face looks pained.

“You see that’s where you’re wrong. I used to be that guy. I used to be the same guy you met last night. But
…” He lets out a deep breath as his voice is becomes flat. “Things just … I’m not that guy anymore.”

He stands
, and places his hands into his pockets while appearing to be somewhat defeated.

“I don’t believe you didn’t feel the same things that I felt,” I tell him in a low whisper as I
lean closer to him. I search his face and notice him swallow as I move closer. Placing a lingering kiss on his cheek, I hear his breath hitch from the contact, and this confirms to me that he’s affected by me in the same way that I am by him.

“Alexis, please don’t,
” his voice is husky and pleading now. “You don’t understand.”

I slowly move m
y lips along his cheek, and then towards his mouth while allowing my lips to hover, so they’re slightly brushing his. I hold my breath as I wait for him to kiss me.

But he doesn’t.

I open my eyes when I feel him softly placing his hands on my shoulders, before gently pushing me away from him. I think it’s safe to assume that I’ve just completely humiliated myself.

“I’m sorry, Alexis,” h
e sounds desperate and looks conflicted. “It was a mistake, and it didn’t mean anything to me,” he slowly walks away and down the sidewalk, turning the corner onto 32nd street, before going completely out of my view, just as he did the night before.

I feel a single tear slide down my face and exhale a shaky breath from his rejection.
This isn’t me. This isn’t what I do, and yet here I am, tearful over a guy I know nothing about.

The Blonde.

During class
, Professor Hardy paired me up with a guy named James, and at the end of class, he handed us our manuscripts so we can prepare ourselves for the auditions on Friday.

Our
college puts on a performance every springtime, where acting scouts from far and wide come to watch the students perform. It would be an extraordinary opportunity to star in the show, and it’s this exact thing that I’ve been working so hard towards, ever since I was a little girl. Not only would it be a significant accomplishment to be a part of the most spectacular event of the year, but if the talent scouts like what they see, it could open many doors in the theatre world, and bring along other incredible projects down the road. It hasn’t happened in recent years although one acting student impressed the scouts so much, they were invited to go along on one of the four-week theatre tours. This is undeniably something I would be extremely interested in achieving.

‘It was a mistake, and it didn’t mean anything to me.’

Those darned words are still whirling around in my mind, and no matter how hard I try to block them out, they’re not going anywhere. Brandon is still in my head, and I’m trying my hardest to understand him. His eyes were telling me something entirely different from the words he’d spoken. He looked conflicted. He looked
pained.
Dammit, he looked as though he wanted to kiss me.

“Alex, are you okay?” I’m drawn away from my thoughts by the sound of James’s voice, and immediately
turn and look up to face him. “You look miles away.”

“Sorry,
” I say as I lean back in my seat. “I’m good. I didn’t sleep extremely well, that’s all.” I tell him, and it’s not a lie. I think I only managed to get around four hours in last night.

“We need to focus one hundred percent on this if we want any chance of getting chosen for a part,” he
tells me, with his face filling with sympathy. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I’m fine,” I answer, although I think by the
tone of my voice alone he can tell that I’m anything but okay.

I need to
concentrate. I need to focus on this. I want to make my mom proud. No. I
need
to make my mom proud. She’s the precise reason why I have such a strong love for the arts in the first place.

My mom was an
incredible actress, and she made numerous appearances in various theatres throughout the United States, some when she was just fifteen years old. She had everything going for her, but when she fell pregnant with me at the young age of twenty-one, she gave it all up so she could stay at home and be a full time mom. Both she and my father told me they didn’t regret their decision, but I still wonder how far she would have gone if she’d have kept her dream alive. Maybe then, she’d still have been here today, too.

Up until I reached the age of ten
, she stayed home while she trained to be a police officer. She died while she was on duty. She wasn’t even supposed to have been on shift that night, but she was determined to go in. According to my father, she’d had a significant breakthrough in a serious case and she wanted to get straight to work. It was just unfortunate a drunk driver ran her car off of the road while she was en-route to the station.

“Let’s take a break,” I hear James sigh as he closes his notebook and stands. “Maybe we can try again after class tomorrow?”

“James, I’m sorry. Look, let’s maybe go through the manuscript and practice it one more time?” I feel guilty for being so distracted, and it’s not fair for him to have to suffer just because I’m not feeling too great.

“How about we go and grab something to eat first?”
He suggests, and I must admit I’m pretty hungry. “Then maybe we can go back over it again later.”

“That so
unds like a plan,” I smile appreciatively, and join him as we make our way out from the staging area and into the campus grounds.

I haven’t worked with James on any projects before, but he seems
friendly enough, and I can tell from class that he works hard. I know a few of the girls have taken quite a shine to him, and they seemed disappointed when they didn’t get to work with him this time around. The telltale signs were the glares I received from several of them, when he came over to sit by me.

He’s tall and ha
s surfer style, sandy blonde hair, with a beach tan to die for. He’s pretty attractive and very polite, so I can see why he would be popular with the ladies.

“I need to pop back to my dorm real q
uick if that’s okay with you?” He asks while stroking his hand through his hair. “It’ll just take a second and then you can decide where we eat.”

“Sure!” I answer. “I’m
sorry I was distracted just now. I promise I’ll do better later.” I smile apologetically at him, and notice the dimples forming in his cheeks as he reciprocates.

He lives in the building oppos
ite to mine, and I’m relieved his dorm is on the ground floor. There’s no way I could manage to climb the stairs with the heels I’m wearing. Opening the door, he waves for me to go in ahead of him, and excuses himself as he heads down the hallway, towards what I assume to be his room.

The dorm’s living
area is quite similar to ours, so I grab a seat by the breakfast bar while I wait for him to come back. There’s no sign of any feminine touches around the place, so I’m guessing this is one of the all-male dorms. It took Alyssa and me what felt like forever to persuade Neil and Ryan to let us put a few plants and pictures around the place, and that was only on the condition that we allowed them to have a beer cooler placed permanently by the widescreen.

Loud banging from the other side of the
main door makes me jump in my seat, and after calling James a couple of times, but receiving no response, I go ahead and answer it. Standing on the other side is a tall, blonde woman whose hair and makeup are both styled to perfection. I notice surprise in her eyes when she sees me, and I wonder if James is expecting anybody else.

“Is Brandon here?” S
he asks, and I notice a slight shakiness in her voice. Brandon? Why would he be here?

“Alexis?”

I spin around at his voice, and there, standing in the doorway of what I assume to be the bathroom, is Brandon. He lives here? Both times after walking me home, he headed away from campus, so I just assumed that he didn’t live on site.

It’s not just Brandon I see in front of me. It’s Brandon with only a small, white towel wrapped around his waist, and hell if he doesn’t still have droplets of water over his skin.

“What are you doing here?” There’s cautiousness evident in both his expression and tone. “I know what I said may have …”

I find
myself staring, but can’t seem to take my gaze away from his bronze, and extremely toned abs. My eyes roam further south, and that’s when I notice the beginning of a defined V showing, just a little above his towel. He clears his throat, which brings my attention back to his face. That’s when I see his hair is dripping wet, with a few strands hanging over his forehead.

Breathe, Alex, breathe.

Before I have a chance to step out of the way, the blonde walks right by me and throws a speculative look over her shoulder as she heads towards him.

“Brandon, we need to talk,” s
he sounds almost desperate, and I notice her hands are shaking by her sides. “They can’t give me anything! Not a damn thing!”

His eyes
flicker between the two of us, and I see bleakness washing over his features. He swallows hard before focusing all of his attention back on her.

“Calm down,” he tells her with a soft voice. I watch as he begins stroking a few strands of her hair softly away from her face. His eyes
shoot over in my direction, and he begins to look uncomfortable. “Let’s go to my room.” I see her nodding before she walks towards the hallway and out of my view. From what I can gather, she’s been here before.

Oh. My. God.
He has a girlfriend? I feel my insides churning at the thought that not only has he cheated on her with other women, he’s cheated on her with me. It wasn’t sadness I saw in his eyes last night. It was guilt.

He’s watching me with an unreadable
expression as I narrow my eyes on him and shake my head, with a scowl automatically etching over my face.

“You ready, Alex?” James walks back into the room, so I
fix on a fake smile as he heads over to the door. “Hey, Brandon!”

“James,” h
is tone has changed from soft to flat, and I watch as he glances between the two of us, before letting out a deep breath and following after the blonde.

After leaving James’s
place, we decided to dine at a little Chinese restaurant over on Osmond Way, which is only a five minute walk down the block.

“The woman back at your place,
” I know I shouldn’t be quizzing James about this, but I want to know if the blonde is Brandon’s girlfriend. “Who is she?”

“Who? T
he blonde chick? I have no idea. I’ve only seen her a couple of times, and each time they go straight to his room, and don’t come out for a while,” James shrugs while looking over the menu. I’m guessing I know what they’re doing back there right now. Asshole. I think I just lost my appetite.

“Does she attend our college?” I’m hoping he doesn’t
catch on to the real reason behind this little interrogation, which is definitely more than just friendly curiosity.

He places the menu down and focuses ba
ck on me. “No, I don’t think so. I overheard their conversation one day and she said something about driving back to Olympia or something. I’m guessing it’s his girlfriend though.”

“Really?” My
tone is flatter than I had wanted it to be, but James doesn’t appear to notice. “Why’s that?”

“Alex, when two people kiss, cuddle, and tell one another that they love each other, it’s pretty obvious, you know?” He raises his eyebrows, with a slight
grin of amusement spreading over his mouth, as he answers my question.

I feel nauseated, and I think I’ve changed my min
d. Brandon is a fucking asshole.

I’m pissed at him. It’s taken a while, but I realize now t
hat I’m no longer mad at myself, I’m just pissed at him. But, now that I think about it, I’m pissed at myself all again for even letting this information bother me. I can’t believe I thought he was being genuine on both the nights that I saw him.

The blonde seemed upset to some degree
, and I remember her saying something about not getting something from someone. I let out a sigh and wonder if she was talking about her parents not buying her a new wardrobe or something, not that she probably needs a new one. The girl looked like one of the models from out of Vogue magazine. She’s tall and blonde, and I’d take a guess at her being a size four. She looks like a freaking supermodel and appears to have expensive taste. I’m, well, I’m a brunette, a size six and a little under five foot seven with a curvier build. I’m happy with the way I am, don’t get me wrong, but she’s the complete opposite of me, that’s all.

“Are you
all okay, Alex?” James leans over the table while knitting his eyebrows tightly together. “Do you know them or something?”

“Yes
… and … no. I mean, I know Brandon through Neil and Ryan, but only in passing.” I take a sip of my sparkling water as the waiter approaches our table, to take our food order. “So, you share a dorm with him?”

“Yeah, but h
e’s not really around that much,” he nods to the waiter in thanks after placing our order, before continuing with our conversation. “He doesn’t sleep there very often, and when he does, he spends most of the time in his room.”

The conversation
soon changes onto acting, and away from Brandon and the blonde. I think I’ve learned enough about Mr. Blue Eyes to know that he had me fooled. I need to forget about what happened and concentrate on the auditions.

Our food arrived aro
und twenty minutes after we placed our order, and after having cleared our plates, we returned home to practice.

It was
nice to spend time with James away from class, and he seems like a genuinely likeable guy. It’s nice to have someone as a friend who has the same passion towards acting as I do.

***

It’s just turned eight as I make my way back up to my dorm, after having spent some time over at James’s. His place was empty when we got back, so we had a lot of quiet time to get a few things put together. It has made me feel a lot more positive for when audition day arrives.

Approaching the door to my dorm and turning my key in the lock, I hear a guitar being played
, and wonder if the guys have decided to hold band practice here tonight, instead of over at Corey’s house.

“Alex!” Neil practically jogs over to me with an ever-growing smile
etching over his lips, as I walk into the dorm. “You will not believe this!”

“What?” I
mirror his expression, and find that I always immediately feel better when I’m in his and the other guys’ presence. “You managed to cook dinner all by yourself?”