Mike's Way Back (Finding Perfect) (13 page)

He still looked so twisted. She smoothed out the creases of his forehead with her finger. Her stomach knotted not knowing how they’d ever work out the distance between his home and hers. But for tonight…they had a different problem to solve. One she could help him with. “You have to forgive yourself, Michael.”

A pained grin tugged at his mouth, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “You know, no one ever calls me that anymore? Well, except maybe my mother or occasionally, Molly. From the first time, I liked the way it sounded coming off your lips.”

“I love you.”

“Even though you know what I’ve done?”

“Especially because of what you’ve done. Michael…that kid, he had problems. And I know enough about the world to know that you probably saved someone else’s life…because you took away his chance to hurt anyone else.”

“But—”

“No…the fact that you’ve lived so tortured and haunted by that night—it tells me what kind of man you are. And what kind of cop. You didn’t take it lightly, and it’s weighed on your heart for too long.”

She’d seen the demons from afar…now she felt them as if they were a part of her.  That connection, feeling his pain, crushed her.  The need to lift his burdens off him roared to life.  

“I saw you the first night I was in town. I drove around when I couldn’t sleep. You were in the garage, just like tonight. I sat and watched you for several moments, and I knew. It’s the nightmares you can’t outrun. My dad lived like that for so long, trying to stay awake night after night to avoid them. When he did fall asleep, we all knew, because he’d wake up screaming.”  She ran her palms up his biceps, feeling his muscles bunch up, knowing her words were increasing his tension.  Taryn gripped him tightly, her brow knitted and quietly begged one thing of him.

“But…it’s time, Mike. You have to let it go—you have to forgive yourself.”

“Taryn, I’ve lived with it for so long I don’t know if I can.”

“You can. Just like my father. One day at a time. I’ll help you.”

“You know this means I’ll never let you go. The ‘miles’ excuse—I won’t have it. We’ll figure it out, but I have to have you in my life, sugar.”

He needed peace tonight. So she nodded to answer, but in her heart, as much as she wanted to believe him…she didn’t know if she could. The miles…there were just too many.

Chapter 13

With the sun, morning dawned a new day. Mike had gone back to bed, Taryn leading the way, pulling him behind her…a view he’d like to see more of when he climbed those stairs. And he’d slept. Really slept. Not only did she keep him warm, she’d chased away his nightmares and the demons. Then, the next thing he knew she was in his arms, softly sleeping, her head on his chest when he woke, and the sun in his face as the birds chirped from the nest outside his window. Sharing breakfast with her in his space was just the cherry on top.

“You know, with you sitting there in my shirt like that, all bedroom eyes and sex kittenish…it’s very likely this kitchen table is going to be used for more than just eating in about five minutes.”

She bit her lip and propped her bare foot up on the seat of the chair. With only two buttons done, her new position left very little to the imagination. She tried to hide her smirk behind her coffee mug, but it crinkled the corners of her eyes.

“Hmm. Might be kind of cold, don’t you think?”

“I won’t be the one on bottom, sugar.” He winked back.

Taryn inhaled sharply as her eyes went wide momentarily. Understanding dawned. Easing her hands away from her face, she lowered the mug to the table. He could see the wheels turning, so he waited. Pushing off the table she started out of the room.

Mike was quicker.

He had her pinned underneath him on the kitchen floor before she’d known what hit her. Mike had to give her a couple of points for effort. However, now she was laughing uncontrollably, and the more she squirmed and wiggled, the better shots he got of her body from the shirt hanging off of her.

Giving her a quick kiss on the lips, he pulled her back up. “You should know better than to run. I’ll always catch you.”

“Maybe I wanted to get caught?”

“Go with that…it almost sounds believable.” He chuckled and pulled her down with him as he sat back in his chair. Her bare ass was hot enough to sear him through his gym shorts. “Admit it. I’m faster than you thought I was.”

“Nope.”

“Nope, what? I’m not faster, or you’re not going to admit it?”

“Neither.”

She was fighting laughter and losing the iron grip she had on it.

“Girl…you’re about to get laid out on this table just so I can prove my point.”

“Prove it, big shot.”

In one swoop, Mike had her flat on her back on the kitchen table, their small breakfast mess out of reach. The laughter danced in her eyes, but it was mixed with fire, surprise, and desire. She was breathing hard—but remained quiet. Her teasing taunts stilled for the time being. Mike took the sides of her shirt…
his
shirt, and ripped. The buttons flew. One hit the refrigerator, the other hit the wall. Her eyes flew open, full of shock, but also need.

Oh yeah
, Mike thought, she’d never had anyone take her like she was needed before. There was a hint of gratefulness tugging at her mouth, before her lips parted and her tongue darted out to lick her lower lip.

They had discussed condoms, birth control, and testing in between their escapades last night. So with her eyes wide and watching his face, he lowered his shorts and slid home without giving her a second warning.

Her eyes slowly drifted shut, and her head fell to the side as if she’d wanted him, just like this. As he quickened his pace, she reached out to grip anything she could for support. Still deep inside her, Mike bent over her, and took her hands. Placing them over her head, he guided her to grasp the edge of the table. With her mouth open, her chest dragging in ragged breaths and her eyes closed, she was exactly how he wanted her. He opened the shirt even more so he could drink in her body as he took her. Taryn rested her heels on the kitchen table and Mike had to grasp at the last thread of his control.

Wrapping his arms around her bent legs, he eased in and out of her.

“Mike. Harder…please.”

He’d already decided when she was peacefully sleeping on his chest this morning that he’d give his angel anything she asked for. He didn’t know she’d be so easy to please. It wasn’t but a few, rough strokes before she arched off the table, his name falling from her lips. Gripping her thighs, he pushed himself into her deeper yet and stilled.

There wasn’t a more perfect woman for him out there anywhere.

Her eyes hadn’t opened yet, and her chest still heaved as she gasped for air. Mike kissed her knee and stared at their connected bodies. Here she was, the last minute addition to his breakfast meal—and she couldn’t be more perfect. She’d proven she could keep up with him. That was for sure. Although, she was looking pretty spent at the moment.

Mike slipped out of her body and adjusted his shorts. Without asking her, he picked her up and carried her back upstairs and into the bathroom. She swayed when he set her down on the bathroom rug, and Mike chuckled. He kept one arm around her, but reached in the shower to turn the water on. His dress shirt was a little worse for wear, but he would keep it just for her to wear. Especially if it meant she’d provide him with another meal like the one they’d just finished.

“Tired, sugar?” She couldn’t even get her hand to her mouth fast enough to hide it from him. Truth was, he too, was exhausted. “Tell you what. Let me wash you, then we’ll go crawl back in bed and take a nap. How’s that sound?”

“Pampered and perfect.”

“Well you are perfect, and I do want to pamper you.” Her sleepy smile warmed his heart. But her words made him want to soar.

“I love you, Michael.”

Backing her into the stream of hot water, he lowered his head to hers and kissed her—a different kind of passion, but still with every bit as much love behind it. It was one of longing, hope and gratitude. Not just for a new relationship, but a new beginning to his life, a fresh start with forgiveness. It was the type of kiss he prayed he’d be giving her for many years to come. “I love you too, Taryn.”

She braced herself against the tile, and her eyes drifted shut again as he massaged her muscles knowing they had to be sore. With her body covered in bubbles, Mike quickly washed himself off and began to rinse her while he contemplated his request. As the soap ran down her, his marks came back into view. “Your poor body. I’ve put it through the ringer, sugar.”

“Don’t you dare apologize. You’ll hurt my feelings, detective.”

A grin tipped her lips as she stood nearly limp, letting him towel dry her. “I wouldn’t ever do that on purpose…you mean too much to me. Let’s go.”

Back in the warm bed once again, he pulled her naked body toward his, but she wrapped her arm and leg over him, fitting back into the space where she’d tucked herself into during the night. “Taryn…can I ask you a favor?”

She nodded. When he didn’t continue, she propped herself up to wait.

“I need…I have to tell my parents. About the shooting. I’d like to have you with me, have your support. Would you come?”

The lines of her forehead creased as she stared at him. A moment later, her eyes started to well up with tears.

“Michael…I’d be honored. Thank you.”

“No. Thank you.” He breathed out as he pulled her close once again. He dreaded that conversation, but at least he’d have her by his side. He hadn’t thought he’d ever want a woman again, not long-term anyway. Taryn changed that in a matter of weeks. She erased the emptiness left by the ‘ice bitch’ and took the burden of his deepest secret away. Now he had to find a way to keep her.

~~~

Gabby held the door open for John. He kissed her cheek and placed a shaky, wrinkled hand on hers. Despite her countless offers to drive him down the block to his little white house, she watched him shuffle away. The walker was new, and it sent a stabbing pain through her heart.

She’d taken it upon herself to bring him dinner every night. Cooking for one was a pain in the ass, plus it gave her an excuse to check on him. She’d really started to worry more about her elderly friend over the last few weeks, especially when he’d broken down and asked her to help sort out his pills for him. Gabby knew his pride kept him from asking for more help, that was why she’d lied to him. She told him she was tired of throwing away leftovers week after week—a big waste of money.

The first night she’d spent with him, she’d gotten out the pill sorter she purchased, and they sat at his kitchen table with hot coffee and crumb cake, laughing about the good old days. His mind was still sharp as a tack, and he told her stories she didn’t remember at all about when she was little.

Gabby kept in touch with his daughter, but she lived in another town and couldn’t keep an eye on him the way she wanted to. So Gabby did. “I’ll be by around six. Don’t you dare ditch me and go dancing, John Ramsey.” She hollered down the sidewalk.

“I wouldn’t think of it, sweetheart.” He winked and turned back to his walker.

She let out a breath and trudged back around the counter to her ringing cell phone. “Oh shut the hell up.” She had meant it, but after looking at the caller ID, she raised an eyebrow and answered anyway. “Shane.”

“Hi, darling.”

“I’m not your
darling
. What do you want?”

“Your sunshine and ros
es personality never fails to make me smile.”

After four years,
surely he was used to her. That didn’t mean she gave a shit about what the chuckling man on the other end of the line. Well, not really. “I can die happy then.” She smarted back.

“Well, don’t do that darling. I’d miss you.”

“Yeah. I’m sure you would.” She rolled her eyes and started to scroll through her email. Her front door opened, the small bells jingling as a mother and young child came in. Without saying anything, she turned back to her laptop.

“Wait! What did you say?”

“I didn’t think you were listening to me. Gabby, I’m hurt.”

“Yet, you’re laughing your ass off. Now, tell me what you said.”

“Damn, you’re bossy.”

The mother standing with her young child in front of the board books looked at her with a furrowed brow. Gabby raised her eyebrow at her and returned a snarl. She didn’t need her attitude at the moment. If her kid hadn’t heard a cuss word, then she could take him and get the fuck out of her shop. At the moment, she could count herself lucky that Gabby hadn’t told her to do just that.

“You just figured that out? Now damn it, tell me what you said before I rip you through this phone line just so I can have the satisfaction of knocking your ass into next week.”

The young mother fled, child in tow.

“Have a good day,” she said sarcastically as the old door slowly shut behind her. “Now that I don’t have to filter my opinions, what the fuck is up, Shane?”

“Filter? You? Why, Gabby…I didn’t know you even knew that word existed.”

“Go to hell.”

“God, I love you.”

“Don’t say that to me.”

“I will…and often. Especially after I arrive next week.”

Her anger started to get the best of her, and the last thing she had any patience for was his chipper, playful flirting. He’d laid it on thick, way back from their very first conversation, but no matter how many times she insulted him or told him just exactly what mode of transportation to take to hell, Shane only managed to come on stronger. “Arrive where?”

“You won’t come to me…so, I’m coming to you. I’ll be there in a few days.”

“Oh my God. No! Tell me you’re just fucking with me. Please, Shane.”

“No, darling. I’m counting the hours. I can’t wait.”

“I’ve gotta go.” Gabby hit end on her cell before he could respond and dropped her forehead into her palm. There was no way she could explain Shane to her parents. She had a very sick feeling that the life she wanted to keep exactly as it was…was about to dramatically change forever.