Midnight Warrior (40 page)

She moved slowly toward the drawbridge. He would not be there, she told herself. It had probably
been some fleeting memory that had drawn him to the courtyard, where they had spent so many hours. She must not hope. He did not remember her. He did not trust her. He was probably already deep in the forest with his pack.

She stepped through the gate.

Selbar was standing at the end of the drawbridge, facing the castle, as if waiting for her.

She stopped, staring into those wild golden eyes.

Moments passed while the snow fell softly between them like a veil of years gone by.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Selbar tilted his head at the words. Did he only recognize her voice or did he somehow understand?

He turned and darted into the forest.

For an instant she felt a pang of regret. Then a warm ripple of contentment flowed over her. He had come back to her. She knew it could never be quite the same. Life had changed both of them, but the bond was still there.

Selbar was like Gwynthal, she realized suddenly. She had made the mistake of coming back to both expecting everything to be as it was when she had viewed it through a child’s eyes. She must accept the changes in Gwynthal as she had in Selbar. Then, if she was fortunate, someday they would both be fully her own again.

During the next three days Gage did little but eat and sleep and eat again. It was common at this stage of healing, but Brynn was astonished at the strength and stamina he gained with every passing moment. She supposed she should not have been startled; Gage was recovering with the same relentless determination with which he usually confronted life. Gage might well prove her wrong and be fit before Malik returned in the spring.

On the third night after he had first awakened, she
was settling down beside him on his pallet when he asked, “How did you know about Svengard?”

For an instant she didn’t know to what he was referring and then remembered the absent remark she had made. “You must have told me.”

“I didn’t tell you. I would remember. Richard’s knife struck me in the back, not the head.”

“Can we not speak of this later?”

“No. I need to know. Lately, I’ve been having very unsettling—I need to know.”

“Unsettling what?”

“Tell me.”

“You won’t like it.”

“Tell me.”

She sat up again and sighed resignedly. “I couldn’t reach you. I had to link with you.”

He frowned. “Link? What is that?”

She shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. I’ve never done it before. I was feeling what you were feeling and it was getting in the way. I couldn’t heal you. The only thing I could think to do was to give in to it and—” She stopped.

“What?”

“Be you,” she whispered. “I had to be part of you. Only I didn’t know—memories.”

His eyes widened. “You’re saying you—”

“I didn’t want to do it. I know it was a terrible intrusion,” she said frantically. “It was the only way—”

“You’re right, it would be a damnable intrusion … if I believed it had happened.” He paused. “Prove it to me.”

“Svengard,” she said. “You said that—”

“Not Svengard. Tell me about Delmas and the stable that night.”

She should have known that would be his first thought. “You were angry. You wanted to kill him.” She shuddered. “You intended to kill him. You knew he was
in the stable. The door was half open and you heard him whimpering as you walked into the stable.” She closed her eyes as the ugly memory came flooding back to her. “He was pinned to the wall by the pitchfork. He was begging to be let down. You were tempted to leave him there, but you knew he was dying. You took the end of the pitchfork and jerked it out of the wall.…”

“And if I didn’t kill him, who did?”

“You suspected Richard. You think Delmas went to him in a rage and Richard killed him and then sought to arrange the aftermath to his own advantage.”

“By God, you
do
know.”

She opened her eyes and whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. It won’t happen again. I know now you would never lie to me.”

“Certainly no one could know me better,” Gage said caustically. He looked away from her. “Christ!”

“I told you that you wouldn’t like it.” She added defensively, “It’s not as if I had any desire to know your thoughts and memories. Some of them were very embarrassing.”

His gaze shifted back to her face. “Such as?”

Heat flooded her cheeks. “The harlot at the house in Zenvar.”

“Oh, my God.”

“There was nothing godly about what happened there. I thought what you did with me was wicked, but that was truly sinful.”

“Just … different.” He suddenly started to laugh. “What a predicament. I can’t believe it.” He shook his head. “Or I wish I didn’t believe it.”

His anger was leaving him, she realized with relief. It had not been nearly as bad as she had feared. She suggested tentatively, “At least, it was a good thing I learned you had no guilt in Delmas’s death.”

“Yes.”

“And you would have died if I hadn’t done it.”

“A persuasive argument.” He scowled. “But no amount of persuasion is going to make me like this … this nakedness.”

“I know.” She paused. “So you will just have to accept it, as you told me I would have to accept Delmas’s death. It took time, but I did it.” She added softly, “Because I love you with all my heart.”

His scowl disappeared and an instant later he smiled. “Come here,” he said softly. “I can’t come to you.”

Joy surged through her as she lay down beside him and nestled close. “I was afraid you’d be much angrier.”

“I would be, except for one circumstance.”

“What circumstance?”

His lips brushed her cheek. “It seems I picked up a few memories of my own.”

She stiffened. “What?”

“You’ve lived a most innocuous life compared to my own, but there are still a few things I don’t think you’d want anyone to know.”

“For instance?” she asked warily.

“Mostly feelings. What a lusty woman you are, Brynn.” He chuckled. “For instance, about that incident in Zenvar. I’d wager your response was not so much shock as fascination.”

“That’s not true. I was most—” She stopped and then admitted reluctantly. “Envious.”

“Envy is a terrible sin. When I gain more strength, we will have to remedy it.”

“What other memories did you find—No, I won’t ask. It’s best we don’t discuss this.”

“Safer, at least.”

“It’s most disconcerting.” She thought about it. “But I’m glad you shared this with me. I was feeling very guilty.”

“That damnable burden of guilt again. We’ll have to remedy that too. I refuse to have a camel for a wife.”

“They truly are most strange-looking creatures.” She added tartly, “And after seeing them through your eyes, I don’t appreciate being compared to such an ugly beast.”

He groaned.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I didn’t mean—I know I said we were not to speak of—”

“Shh.” He drew her closer. “It is bound to happen.”

“You truly believe me?”

“How could I help it?” he said gruffly. “I cannot say I believe in magic, but I believe in you. You are no witch.” His lips brushed her temple. “But if there is magic in this world, it is you, Brynn.”

She buried her face in his chest, fighting tears, unable to speak. She was no longer alone. She would never be alone again. He had stepped into the circle.

“Brynn!” Gage called impatiently as he entered the hall. “Where in Hades are you?”

“Here!” Brynn marched down the steps. “Though why I should answer to such rudeness I don’t—”

“They’re here!” He lifted her by the waist and swung her around in a circle. “I saw LeFont coming down the trail. They’re only a few miles away. Let’s go meet them.”

They were there. A wild mixture of emotions flooded Brynn. She had known this moment would come, had thought she was prepared for it. Now she wanted only to run and hide. She pulled away and forced a smile. “You go on. I’ll run and tell Adwen and Alice.”

He had started to leave but he stopped and whirled to face her. “What’s wrong?”

She should have known he would sense her distress even in his own excitement. Since their joining he had become exquisitely sensitive to her every emotion. Yet how could she explain when she was so confused herself? “It’s a new—everything will be different.”

He searched her expression. “We should have talked about this before.” He grabbed her wrist and pulled her up the stairs. “Come on.”

“But you wished to go and meet—”

“I can wait.” He pulled her down the corridor, into the council chamber, and slammed the door. “Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

She looked wistfully around the chamber. They had spent so many happy hours there this winter. Peaceful, lazy days, passionate, languid nights. All gone. Well, what had she expected? Even if Malik and LeFont had not arrived, this magical period would have soon ended. Of late, she had noticed Gage’s restlessness increasing in pace with his return to health. He was not a man who would long linger in Eden. “I will miss this place when we go.”

“So will I.” He smiled. “Therefore, I think we must plan to return frequently.”

Her eyes widened. “Truly?”

“Why are you so surprised? It’s a shame to let a fine castle like this go uninhabited. Of course, we will have to set LeFont to making repairs.”

“He won’t be pleased with the task.” She launched herself into his arms and buried her face in his chest. “I will go with you wherever you wish. We need not—I want you to be happy.”

“Then don’t try to make me miserable. You know I would not be content if you were yearning for this place.” He cradled her face in his hands and looked
down at her with a rueful smile. “You’ve made sure I feel at least a portion of what you feel on every subject.”

“I did not mean to intrude. I couldn’t help it.” She lifted her chin. “Would you rather have died? I did what I had to do to bring you back.” She lifted her chin. “And it’s just as bad for me. Some of your memories aren’t at all good, and now they’re my memories. If I didn’t force myself to stop and think, sometimes I would act in as barbaric a fashion as you.”

“I cannot imagine that circumstance.” He brushed his lips across her brow. “But I can see I must guard myself from your wrath.”

“Very wise.” She blinked back the tears and laid her head on his chest. “It’s about time you learned you must be wary of me. It’s fortunate for you that I love you.”

“I cannot be all you want of me, Brynn,” he said in a low voice. “I’m not like your Hevald, who was content to stay here forever. There will always be somewhere I want to see, something I want to do. If you’ll be honest with yourself, you’ll admit that you wouldn’t be content with staying here either. You’ve been restless yourself of late.”

“All my life I’ve wanted to return here,” she protested. “Why should I have changed?”

“I can’t answer that for you. You’ll have to tell me.”

She thought about it. “I have a gift and Gwynthal gives me few chances to use it. The villagers are very healthy and there are no wars here.”

“True. It’s not every day you’ll run across a soldier who is stupid enough to get himself stabbed by an assassin in this peaceful garden.”

“And I’ve been wondering if the reason my mother was willing to leave the island and follow my father was that she felt that same lack.”

“It’s possible.” He stroked her hair. “No place is
perfect. There will always be something missing that we find somewhere else. But we have the good fortune to be complete in ourselves wherever we are.”

Good fortune. Wonderful fortune. She laughed shakily. “Heavens, you’re clever. It’s not enough that you have me agreeing to leave Gwynthal, but now you’d have me believe it’s my own idea.”

His smile held a hint of mischief. “Why not? A good barter is one in which all sides believe they’ve won. I refuse to be wed to a martyr.” He smile faded. “I want you to be happy, Brynn. What can I do to make it right with you? Would you like our first child to be born here on Gwynthal?”

She looked up at the tapestry, at Hevald, whose wife had never borne him a child. She smiled. “I think we would all like that very much indeed.”

A short time later Gage, Brynn, Alice, and Adwen met the column of soldiers as they rode into the courtyard.

Malik was back! Bronze and smiling and handsome as a God. Adwen tried not to let her eagerness show in her expression.

Malik’s broad smile lit his face as he caught sight of Gage. “You look well, my friend. Much more robust than when I left this place.”

“What news of William?”

“He was crowned King of England on Christmas Day and has since been busily trying to give away all his new land to his followers. If you wish aught from him, I wouldn’t linger long in the asking.”

“I won’t. I plan to set sail next week for England. That should give us ample time to gather provisions for the journey.”

Malik turned to Adwen. “And how are you, my lady? In good health, I trust.”

“Good enough.” Her voice was uneven and she tried to steady it. “And you?”

“I could not be better than I am at this moment.” His expression lit with mischief. “Well, perhaps a little better, but we will go into that later.”

She had to stop staring at him. “You grew your beard back.”

“I decided to take pity on those less comely than myself.”

Sweet heaven, she had missed him. There was no one like him. No one in the world as full of humor and whimsy and gentleness; no one as mad and certainly no one who made her feel the need to reach out and touch, hold. “I’m sure we all are grateful for your kindness.”

“Oh, I was not speaking of you. You’re almost as beautiful as I am.”

She laughed. “I thank you. It makes me feel much—”

“Adwen, come quick!”

Adwen turned to see Brynn hurrying across the courtyard toward Alice, who was being supported by LeFont. The captain’s face was even more pale than Alice’s.

Adwen muttered an exclamation and started across the courtyard.

“What is it?” Malik asked.

“If you had brains as well as comeliness, you would know,” Adwen tossed over her shoulder. “The excitement was too much for her. She’s going to have her babe.”