Midnight Curse (2 page)

There is no male. There is
no female. I am both and neither. I am sexless. I just exist. I am
what you are, but more. I am within and a part of everything, yet I
am myself.

So many things flashed
within my thoughts, moving so rapidly I could not understand them.
Yet I knew that the being I’d chosen not to choose, not to believe
in, had abandoned us on Earth. Why?

Not abandon, little one.
Never abandon. I am always with you. I will always be with you, but
not a living part of you. Once you became your own being, left me,
you had free will. I could hear and see you, but you could not
me.

What about everything I’d
ever been taught? Were they only lies?

They were only stories to
pacify some and stories to give others power. There was no curse in
which you were punished with free will. Free will is something that
every being that is no longer connected to me receives. You are
unable to hear or see me outside purgatory and outside of me, but I
can hear and see you. You are a part of me, but not the whole. Even
while connected with me, you are still you, only not
alone.

It was too confusing, too
much to take in. I wanted—no, needed—answers, but this was pure
nonsense to me. I felt incapable of understanding.

Something you will not
remember well anyway. Once more, you must choose.

All I felt was how it was to
be with this life form. How it was to be a part of something so
great was overpowering and overwhelming, but in a pleasant way. It
was what I wanted. The things that still flew through me, still in
disarray, I could not understand. Yet I also knew that there were
other beings that I was no longer connected to that I wanted to be
with. It was a conundrum, one I was unable to solve.

Would it be easier to know
that you could always come back here, to be with me, but never with
them until they too come here in time?

In a way it did help. What I
missed I could find, what I lost I could regain.

Have you chosen?

No. Will it hurt to leave?
Not physically, but will I lose this thing I sense? If that was how
I could describe it.

Not exactly, humans choose
to forget and choose to deny me. I do not ask to be one or the
other. Just know the truth. I did not abandon you. I merely chose
to create something else. To give it existence, and allow it free
will and free rein, with all that it had or has or will have. It is
like the word “infinity”. I am that, yet more. What you have when
you leave me is that, only you have more. You get to exist in
another form, in another realm, and make your own way.

I was absorbing all of this.
It was too much and not enough. I still had so many unanswered
questions. Also, I had these overwhelming senses that were
unexplainable.

For only a moment, imagine
your word for alien.

Do you mean the alien from
outer space or movies?

Yes. Imagine I am an alien
fifty times the size of your solar system. I am ethereal. I exist,
but barely in your perception. I create planets and then life on
one. It fails. I realize my infernal mistake. I did not take a part
of myself and put it into that life. I try again to make something
magical and precious. I create life, and then wait until it matures
while learning all the while until it returns to me. I lose
something while my creation gains something. In the end I shall
gain what I lost and what my creation gained. I therefore created,
lost, gained, learned, and only to repeat. I am alone always, even
while creating life. You are not powerful enough to do more than
just sense me. If you could truly see me, understand me, your mind
would implode, similar to a black star.

I lose what I have come to
love. Those creations only forget me. They abandon me. I cannot
step in and shape and mold their lives or it is not free will. It
is only a manipulation on something I already manipulated. Why
create something to watch it fail? Why create something only to
make it be and do as I wish? There is nothing in that for me. Is it
a selfish act on my part? Am I being unselfish in giving life? Am I
selfish for not actively interfering in their tiny lives? The one
unselfish act I can give is love. That is all, nothing
more.

Are you the only thing like
you then?

Yes and no. I am infinity. I
have always been and will be. The more I create and let go, the
more I am. If I had never created, I would have ceased to exist in
the greater aspect of things. Still, I would exist, just not in the
way it would matter. Are there others like me? Well, that is a
matter of opinion, I suppose.

You will not understand
this. You must choose. Live as what I made or become a part of me
again.

There was no choice here.
I’d been created to be, to exist. Therefore, if I was guaranteed to
return, I would exist and allow this being to exist. How could I be
so selfish as to deny others of their desires, when all I cared
about was being a part of something, to exist?

Close enough.

Part Two

Georgia,
Awakening

Before this very moment,
there was absolute nothing. It was as if I had not existed. Had I
been dead? Was I alive now? What had happened to make me
forget…everything?

A monumental amount of time
seemed to pass me by, but it was all the same, it stood still.
Nothingness is all I am and nothingness is all there was. I could
not feel and I could not sense anything. All was dark and the
darkness was all I had. No body, no voice, and no me, which made me
wonder if I was nothing more than a soul.

At first, I was just a
little anxious. Something inside told me that this was not how it
used to be, how it should be, and that it would not always be this
way. For now, the sinister nothingness was where I existed. No
senses, only thought. I was alone, with only my thoughts for
company. No pain, no mourning, no wants or needs. It was just
absolute nothing. It would have been almost tranquil, aside from my
ever-so-slowly mounting panic.

I was not small or large,
corporeal or ethereal. I just…was. I did not question this. There
was no need to. Nothing mattered to me other than I
existed.

After some time, maybe a lot
or maybe not so much, I felt I was not alone. Something was coming,
and it was not something I could deny or ignore. Its existence was
much more than my own.

It was alive, and I was not,
at least not yet.

Then I remembered something
else. I had thought all this before.

Déjà vu smacked me. Had it
been a dream? Had I made a decision and chosen to come back? To
live again on Earth with those I’d left behind?

I could sense some things
now. Such as the absolute and mind-consuming pain! So much
pain!

Make it stop! Take it away!
Get it off me!

There was more to me than
the thoughts. There was now a body, or so I believed. I could feel
again, and I was an inferno of withering pain! It felt as if
someone had touched me with fire, on the inside. My veins boiled,
and the flames burned their way through my body. As it did, I could
feel that part of my body again. My first sensation was that I had
hands and feet, because that is where the pain ravaged the
most.

Oh make it stop! No more!
Stop it! I beg of you!

Was I burning
alive?

Then the real pain set it.
My neck seemed to be a gaping hole. I was sure if I was able to
look, I would see things that no one should--blood and bone. The
skin stretched, painfully, and began to weave itself back together.
I could feel burning needles as my skin closed up and
healed.

Just let me die!

My silent cries fell on deaf
ears. No one would save me from this agony.

My chest closed the same
way, and my skin knitted itself back together. As if invisible
hands were doctoring me up, my insides found the places they were
meant to be and my stomach formed again, united in the way it had
been created.

How is this
possible?

I could not see or hear yet,
only feel. It was the worst pain I’d ever felt. I wanted to die
again.

I changed my mind! Take me
back! No more!

Whatever had spoken to me
before, though, was no longer with me. That or I was incapable of
hearing it. I was alone, once more, in here. That knowledge hurt
more than the fire that made its way through my body, bringing me
to life again. Every lick of that flame instantly gave me the
ability to feel with that part of myself.

Whatever madness this was,
meant that someone or something had not given up on me. They had
not walked away and left me to die. What they had done to save me
was the question.

Unable to move, all I could
do was scream silently at the anguish and turmoil I was in. I could
not escape it. Submerged in living flames, knitting my broken body
back together, I screamed until the pain and fire began to
fade.

Decades had passed, I was
sure. My body would be blackened to a crisp and I would be a
monster. One thing was for sure, I could not go back to my family.
I would only scare my little sisters. I would be dead to them, to
my mother, to my Granny.

I could feel distinct shades
of pain now. Some places hurt more than others. I could feel
pressure on my back, so I knew that I was lying prone
somewhere.

One by one, memories danced
through my mind, so that I relived the torment of my past and the
moments that I would give anything to have back.

The she-wolf had not killed
me after all. She had done something much worse to me. She’d taken
my life, given it back, taken my family, and had given me a moment
with my creator only to take it away. Well I’d chosen, blindly I
might add, to come back. It was one of the most uninformed
decisions I’d ever made. Would I make the same one
again?

Still, that bitch had hurt
me more than anyone ever had. I would never forget it. Desperately,
I wanted to do to her what she’d done to me. My burning vengeance
would someday come to pass, of this I was sure.

My senses were returning
slowly. I could now feel pressure, and I could sense I was not
alone. Whoever it was, they were not in here with me, and they were
out there where I could not be.

Finally, I could hear. I
still could not communicate with them and let them know I was
alive. At this moment it was all I wanted to do.

Two people were talking…
about me.

“
It’s too late, Abel! It
didn’t work!”

My father was talking to the
man I’d pulled from the river. When had my father arrived? Would he
save me?

“
I refuse to believe
that!”

“
Believe it or not, but she
is gone. Throw her back in the river. Let her be at
peace!”

No, my father had abandoned
me, like always. I was nothing to him.

Part Three

Georgia, Overcome

No matter how loud I
screamed inside, they would not hear me. They would toss me back in
the river with the gators and I would die all over again. The
horror of that was beyond comprehension.

If you are listening, please
stop this!

It had told me it could hear
me, but could not interfere. I was the only one who could save me,
and I was paralyzed. I would not survive this a second
time.

I think Abel, I wasn’t sure
who, carried me in his arms. Based on the sounds, I assumed they
had stopped at the dock.

“
Just give me a sign!
Something! Wake up, Angel!” Abel cried out, calling for
me.

I still could not see. My
muscles were cramping up now, the pain almost as agonizing as the
fire. It seemed my body was one massive cramp. My body was not
stiff, but it was locking up. To the outside it was as if I was
dead and decomposing. I felt as if I’d been exposed to a nuke.
Radiation was burning away my skin, only reversed, and leaving no
ash behind. On a deep and purely instinctual level, I knew that my
body was changing.

Into what, I had no idea.
All I knew was that I was alive and was about to drown all over
again. My second chance at life would be wasted.

“
Your father needs to open
his eyes, to see!”

My Pa had abandoned me like
he had his other daughters.

“
I’m so sorry, Angel. I
waited too long to come to you, to bring you home, to tell you how
I felt.”

What is he talking
about?

“
Forgive me, my love,” he
whispered, kissing me on my lifeless lips.

That was when he threw me
into the river, before I could question his actions. My body was
airborne, and then I was in the water. It felt so good--until I
started sinking. The inky water crept up over my skin until it
reached my face. My body rolled, tried to float, then began to sink
again. The water rose up above my mouth and nose, and then just as
the darkness faded and I could make out fuzzy shapes, I could no
longer see.

Panicking, I tried to
thrash, to swim, to scream. I tried everything to keep from
drowning.