Mercy (7 page)

Suddenly Haley's backpack, on the floor next to her desk, blared out a bright tune. Haley jumped, tipping her chair back on two legs, before she recovered her balance and dug into the bag to find her phone under her math book. She glanced at the screen to see who was calling.

“Hey, Mel.”

“Haley? You sound funny. Did you have to run for the phone?”

“Uh, no, I—” It was ridiculous, the way her heart was racing. “I was just—the phone startled me, I guess. What's up?”

“I'm in the car. We're going to the mall, Jen and Elissa and me—”

Haley could hear other voices. “Is she coming?” “Hey, I'm here too.” “Do you girls have your seat belts on?” “
Yes
, Dad!”

“Shut up, I'm asking her. Haley? My dad says he can pick you up too. You want to come?”

On the one hand, she had to copy out the whole family tree again. And there was the algebra homework she hadn't even started. On the other hand, she hadn't been to the mall with Mel in—how long?

“Come
on
, Haley,” Mel urged.

Haley smothered a little spasm of irritation. Mel
knew
she'd been busy lately, she
knew
what was going on—

—but still. The mall. A bright, normal, cheerful place, with stuff to eat and stuff to buy and lots of people and Mel and the other girls laughing and talking and sending texts back and forth to rate guys as they walked past—suddenly Haley wanted that, wanted it so much it hurt, a fierce grabbing pain in the back of her throat.

She had to cough and clear her throat before she said
yes
to Mel.

Then she stuffed the phone in her pocket as she ran downstairs. Her red jacket, her shoes. Where was her wallet? Oh, right, upstairs in her backpack. “Elaine?” Haley yelled. “I'm going to the mall. With Mel.”

No answer. Her voice echoed lonesomely.

Haley opened the door to the basement and stuck her head in. “Elaine?” The light was off; no sound came from the washer or the dryer. Why had she thought Elaine was doing laundry?

She checked upstairs. No one in the bedrooms. And Eddie's crib was empty. The mobile above it, with tiny dogs in goggles and scarves flying little planes, twirled in a silent breeze.

Elaine must be out, and Eddie must be with her. Why had Haley been so sure her stepmother was in the house?

Back in her own room, Haley knelt to find her wallet in her backpack. When had it gotten so cold in here? Her arms, inside the sleeves of her jacket, had goose bumps. Her dad was so cheap with the heat. He hated to turn the furnace on before Thanksgiving.

There
was her wallet, under her history book. She snagged it and stood up. The clutter on her desk tugged at her conscience a little. But it would just be for a few hours. There'd be plenty of time to work in the evening. She straightened up a few piles, stacked the books more neatly, put the lid back on the box that held Mercy's glove.

Hadn't that box been shut before? Haley looked down at it, puzzled. Her fingertips remembered the feel of the yellow cord. She'd been fiddling with it while she thought. She must have untied it without noticing.

It was so
quiet
in the house. So quiet and so cold. All at once Haley's spine prickled. She should go downstairs and watch for Mel's dad, but somehow she was very reluctant to leave her room. The skin at the back of her neck felt strangely vulnerable, as if someone was behind her. Someone might follow her along the hall, down the stairs . . .

A lock clicked. A door opened and shut.

“Haley!” It was Elaine's voice.

Haley's fears vanished. Reading all that stuff about sickness and death had creeped her out. That was all.

“Haley? Are you here? Come down and help me with the groceries.”

Haley ran down the stairs. Elaine, pink-cheeked from the cold, had Eddie in one arm and a grocery bag in the other.

“Haley, thank goodness. There, get down, monster. Haley, honey, can you grab the groceries out of the car, please? Eddie, hold still, let me take off your coat. Well, stop wiggling and I'll be done faster.”

Haley ran out to the driveway, snatched up two plastic grocery bags from the front seat, and ran back, dumping them on the kitchen counter. “Elaine, I'm—”

“Careful, that one has the eggs. Honey, I need a big favor—oh. You've got your coat on. You're going out?”

“To the mall. With Mel.” Haley tucked her hands in the pockets of her jacket—she was still a little shivery—and felt her camera there.

“On a school night?”

“Elaine! It's not a school night. It's a school
day
. It's not even four o'clock. I'll be home for dinner.”

“Haley. Wait a minute.”

Haley paused. Elaine made an apologetic face.

“I'm sorry. Really. But I've got to show a house and I can't put it off. If I'd known you had plans . . . ”

“You need me to babysit.” Haley didn't even have to make it a question.

“I'm so sorry.” Elaine was smoothing her hair, checking her lipstick in the mirror by the door, grabbing her briefcase from the counter. “This just came up at the last minute, and your dad won't be home from making his deliveries until six. I'm sorry, sweetie, I
can't
neglect this client. If I don't sell somebody a house soon, we'll be eating oatmeal for supper. Just make him a scrambled egg, order a pizza for you and your dad if you want. Maybe Mel can come over after the mall? Bye, thanks, you're a hero, I'm so sorry about this—” The door shut behind her.

Eddie stared at the door in outrage. “Mama!” he bellowed.

“Oh, great.” Haley sighed.

Not bothering to take off her jacket, she bent over to pick Eddie up. His scream nearly ruptured her eardrum. “Hey, Eddie, hey, listen, it's okay. Mama's coming back. Hey, don't cry, shhh, shhhh . . .” She tried to jiggle Eddie up and down—sometimes that worked—but his body was rigid and he was arching back in her arms, yelling.

“Okay, fine.” Haley carried him into the living room and dumped him on the soft carpet, where he could kick and thrash if he wanted to without hurting himself. “Go ahead, cry. Like it's
such a tragedy being stuck here with me. This wasn't my idea of fun either,” she informed the little boy.

Eddie howled. There were no tears, Haley noticed. It was pure rage. His world had been disrupted, his plans had been laid aside, and it was all simply unacceptable.

“Yeah, well, welcome to the world, kid,” Haley muttered, and flopped down on the couch. When Eddie got like this there was no solution but to let him cry it out. In a few minutes he'd calm down a little and she'd get him a cookie, which would bring a good mood back like flipping a switch. Then she'd call Mel and cancel when there wouldn't be screaming in the background. Elaine didn't approve of her bribing Eddie with food, but Elaine wasn't around, was she?

Haley felt the camera in her pocket nudge against her side and took it out. Turning it on, she focused on Eddie, zooming in for a close-up. His face was as red as a brick, his eyes squinched tight shut, his mouth open as wide as it could go. She clicked the shutter, zoomed in even more. Her brother's angry face filled the screen the way his screams filled the room.

I
t was the heart of winter. Too cold to dig a grave.

In the churchyard there was a crypt aboveground, built of stones from the field. We were not a wealthy congregation and had no money to spare on fancy stonework for the dead. This was where they laid my body to wait until the ground thawed.

My father, by that time, had been wrung dry of tears. He stood watching as they slid my coffin into its resting place. Huddled in his long brown woolen coat, the collar turned up to his ears, the beard that he kept thick and long in winter covering half his face, he looked baffled and angry, not grief-stricken. Like a great bear woken too early from his winter sleep. He looked as if he wanted to roar with fury, swing a strong clawed arm and split someone in two. But who was there for him to attack? Where could his rage go?

Behind my father, a little to one side, were his two remaining children. Patience had Edwin by the hand. All around her, people tugged capes and coats closer, hugged their arms tight, but Patience was never bothered by the cold. She looked as if
she were counting the mourners, adding up the total in her mind, calculating the respect shown to the Brown family.

Some of the women wept openly. The men frowned and shuffled their feet. None of them gathered together to whisper, to cast sidelong glances, to put fear into ugly shapes, into words with claws and fangs to hurt, words with wings to flit from ear to ear, mind to mind, heart to heart.

That would come later.

Edwin clung to Patience's hand. Thin and pale, he looked half-smothered in coat and scarf and cap. He shivered in the icy air.

S
unny was so happy to see Jake that she couldn't contain herself. She wouldn't jump on him, but she nearly crawled up onto his lap as he sat on the edge of his bed. After letting him pet her for a few seconds, she flung herself away to race around the room, sniffing eagerly at everything her nose could reach, before returning to Jake's side, panting happily.

Maia laughed. “Now I see what I've been doing wrong. All those dates I've been on—what a waste! I need to get myself a dog. Just someone to be that glad to see me when I get home.”

Jake still had his pajamas on, a limp gray T-shirt over flannel pants, his feet bare. That meant he probably hadn't gotten out of bed until Maia had arrived. He hadn't shaved.

“Much, much better than dating,” Jake agreed, fondling Sunny's ears. “For one thing, it's not so expensive to take her out to dinner.”

Maia's laugh was rich and dark and chocolaty. Haley had never understood how Maia could be so happy. A visiting nurse for terminal patients, spending her days with dying people—how was this a cheerful job?

Maia was checking Jake's medications, seeing if he needed refills. “You taking these new ones?” She waved a tiny brown bottle at Jake.