Men of Firehouse 44: Colby and Bianca's Story (11 page)

             
Rose turned, “Now, that wasn’t so hard was it.  Go tell her that.”

             
“It’s complicated, okay.”

             
“How complicated can it be?  You love her and she loves you.”

             
His mother’s words surprised him.  How in the hell did she know something that even he hadn’t realized.

             
Rose laughed.  “I know my son well enough to know when he has finally opened his heart again.  Now, go do something about it.  I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk.  I have thicker skin than you think.”

             
He almost went for it, but then he had always put his mom off.  He wouldn’t do that now.

             
“Why don’t we just sit and talk for awhile?” 

             
“Why don’t you go save your relationship with her before it’s too late?”

             
“She can wait.  I have always put everything, everyone else before you.  You flew all the way in to see me, let’s talk.”

             
Colby watched as his mom’s eyes watered again.  He knew then just how much he had pushed her away over the years.

             
“I don’t think your gonna like the direction our conversation will head.”

             
Colby smiled.   “Let’s sit.”

             
“Okay.”  She smiled.

             
“So, get on with it.”  He said, waiting for her to chew his ass for all the things that he had done wrong.

             
“Why won’t you open up to her?  Just tell her you’re scared of putting your heart out there again.  Let her know about your past and what you want in your future.”

             
“That’s the thing, Mom.  I don’t know what I want.”

             
“Sure you do.  You’ve just been lying to yourself the entire time.”

             
“No I don’t.  How do I know it won’t end up just like Trish?”

             
“You don’t know.  Do you think I haven’t had my heart broke a few times before?  Think again.  Your father was the worst at it.  When he and I got together I was only sixteen years old.  He was a player back then.  I can’t tell you how many times we broke up and got back together.  I don’t remember the amount of times he cheated on me with other girls, girls that were supposed to be my friends.  But I can tell you when he came to me and told me he would rather spend the rest of his life fighting with me than with any other woman, I knew then.  He was the one.”

             
Colby rubbed his head.  He knew that his dad hadn’t been faithful, but he had and was the entire time he was married.  That was what mattered or so he thought.

             
“One of these days you’re going to wake up and be an old, lonely, man.  You have to let go of the past to move on into the future.  Don’t waste the time you have with her.  Your father and I had forty wonderful years together, but the first five were terrible.  They could have been great.”

             
“What are you saying?”

             
“I’m fucking saying wouldn’t you rather have forty five wonderful years with her than just forty.  Now move your ass.”

             
Colby stood, rushing to the door then stopped and went back to Rose and hugged her.  “Thanks, Mom.”

             
“Don’t thank me yet, you still have to kiss some ass to get her back on your good side.”  She laughed.

-Bianca-

             
Bianca was determined that she wouldn’t sit at home and wait for him to come over and apologize, if he did.  Or maybe that was it, she didn’t want to sit there only to wait and learn that he wasn’t coming.

             
After she had called Crystal, both had decided that they needed a good stiff drink and met her down at PJ’s for just that.

             
“So that’s all that happened?”  Crystal stared at Bianca.

             
“What do you mean, that’s all?  That’s a lot.  He was a complete ass to me and his mother.  I can’t believe that he would act like that.”

             
“Honey, he’s a man.  All men have their moments.  In case you haven’t noticed, you’re a woman and you have them as well.  You can’t tell me that never in your life you haven’t been moodier than you should have been with someone.”

             
Bianca rolled her eyes.  Yeah, so what.  She had.  But she didn’t just turn her back on that person and act like they weren’t there.

             
“So, you’re off for spring break.  What are you planning for the next week?”

             
“I don’t have any plans.  I thought I would catch up on some reading, do some deep cleaning, and go from there.”

             
“Boring.  You need some action in your life.  There is this new club on the other side of town.  I’ve been wanting to check it out, but then I’m too chicken shit to go on my own.”

             
Bianca got a little suspicious when she saw her friend grow nervous.  Nothing made that woman nervous.

             
“What kind of club is it?”

             
“Don’t freak out on me.” 

             
“Okay.” 

             
“It’s a BDSM club.  I order all this specialty stuff and I wonder what it would be like.  I just want to see some of it.  That club opened up and it is always packed.  But I hear it’s a hush hush type club and you have to sign some damn NDA when you walk in.”

             
Bianca started laughing.  “You want me to go with you to a BDSM club.  That’s not what I’m about.  If you wanna go, have at it.  Just not my cup of tea.”

             
“Look, it’s one o’clock and it’s a Sunday.  They can’t be that busy.  Pleaseeeee!”  Crystal crossed her hands, begging.

             
“Why do I let you talk me into this shit?”  Bianca laughed, grabbing a few ones out of her purse and throwing them on the table.

             
On the drive over, Bianca had her suspicions that maybe Crystal was a little freakier than she had thought.  So she basically kept at her until Crystal fessed up.

             
“I don’t know if it is my cup of tea or not.  I swear to god, if you tell anyone this, I will kill you and bury you between my tomatoes and cucumbers.”  Crystal threatened.

             
“Ha!  You don’t have a garden and I won’t tell anyone.”

             
“I’ll make one if you do.”

             
“I said I won’t.  Come on, out with it.”  Bianca urged.

             
“I know that the thought of getting my ass spanked by some big muscled up man makes my body cry out to get fucked.  I have even imagined that happening when I have been fucking someone and boom, I get off.”

             
Okay, Bianca didn’t understand that.  The thought of a man spanking her ass was doing quite the opposite.  Turning her completely off.

             
“The harder a man squeezes my nipples, the more I like it.  The harder he fucks me, the more I orgasm.  I know.  I’m fucked up.  I already know this.  I have considered that over the years.  I understand how messed up I am to want some man to whip me with a single tail whip or pinch my nipples until I bend at his will.  That’s not it though.  I don’t want to have to make any decisions when it comes to the bedroom.  My mind races constantly and I can’t turn it off.  I even thought about my appointment book last week when I was fucking John.”

             
Bianca couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  But she wasn’t about to judge her for it either.  To each their own, she always said and would still say.

             
She glanced over at her friend and could tell that her admission was embarrassing her and bothered her.  Bianca could totally relate to that. 

             
“If that is what you are into, it’s not a bad thing.  Just because I don’t have fantasies of being strung up and whipped by a freaking whip, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t follow your heart.  If that is what you want, then go for it.  Try it out.  If you don’t like it, then you will finally know.  You shouldn’t live your life never knowing what might have been.”

             
Bianca heard her friend breathe out deeply and turned her head, glancing back at her friend then back at the road.  The two second glance was enough to know that whatever she had said had shocked the shit out of Crystal.

             
“What?”  Bianca asked.

             
“That was deep.”  She laughed.

             
“You’re laughing at that.”  Bianca chuckled.  “You just told me all that about you and your laughing at me?  Damn.”

             
“I’m not laughing at you.  I’m just nervous okay.  Sometimes I laugh when the situation doesn’t exactly call for it.”

             
“Yeah, I know.”

             
“Oh, here it is.”

             
Bianca turned in to the parking lot.  Sure enough it was pretty much empty except for a few vehicles. 

             
“I was expecting some neon signs with XXX everywhere.”  Bianca teased.  That wasn’t what she was expecting.  Hell, she didn’t know what to expect, other than she wouldn’t let anyone touch her with anything.

-Colby-

   
              Colby slowed his breathing as he reached her door, knocking a few times. 

             
Come on, answer the door,
he thought as he knocked again, and this time a little harder than he had before.  For the next five minutes he knocked and didn’t get an answer.  Either she wasn’t home, or she didn’t want to see him.

             
He turned walking back to his apartment.  Not only was his feeling like a complete shit head now, but now he would have to deal with his mother.  She was going to give him a lecture about how he should have ran after her, he should get a grip on his temper, and so on. 

             
The minute he walked back in to his apartment, his mom looked at him. “Well?”  She asked.

             
“Well, nothing.”  He said, shutting the door.  “She isn’t home or she isn’t answering her door.”

             
“Oh.”  She said, turning back to wiping off his end tables with the bottle of pledge she had to have brought with her.

             
“Mom, what are you doing?”  He eyed her, watching as she started humming and wiping away. 

             
“You’re a bachelor.  I know you need a good deep cleaning here.”  She said and then went back to it.

             
He couldn’t believe that she wasn’t going to start in on the lecture.  That wasn’t like his mother at all.  He watched her, standing ready for when it was going to hit.  He was surprised when she went on with wiping off the entertainment next.  He shook his head and sat down on the couch, flipping the channels on the TV.

             
He didn’t like the idea of his mommy cleaning his apartment like he wasn’t capable of doing it himself, but then anytime she came to visit, she always did and argued with him about it. 

             
Nothing was on the TV to keep his attention off of Bianca.  He went back over and knocked a few more times, even had tried the whole, ‘I know you’re in there,’ thing, but it hadn’t worked.  She never answered the door.

-Bianca-

            
 
The minute the door opened, a big man, stopped them.  He asked them what their business was and thankfully Crystal was quick on her feet, because Bianca just stood there with her mouth open.

             
Sure enough, Crystal was right.  Each of them had to sign a non disclosure agreement before going in.  Basically it read, if they repeat anything or tell anyone what they saw outside the club, they were at risk for a law suit.  Bianca could handle that.  She almost laughed when she read it.  It wouldn’t hold up in court and she knew that, but also understood what they were trying to accomplish as well.  A safe and secure place for people to go to and they wouldn’t have to worry about being judged for being there.

             
As soon as she handed her agreement back to the door man/ bouncer/ enforcer, he opened another door and allowed them to pass by. 

             
They walked in and although the large room was dimly lit except by the bar, it didn’t look any different than a normal bar.  There were a few people sitting at the bar, but all of the tables were empty.