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Authors: Jean C. Joachim

BOOK: Memories of Love
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“You can’t tell anyone. Really. I’ve
promised, in writing, and I’m trying to live up to that.” She wrung her hands. “Can
you keep it confidential?”

“That depends. No promises, Ms.
Brewster. If it’s something illegal…”

“It’s not illegal.” Her eyes pleaded
with him.

“Tell us, and we’ll see what we can
do.” Detective Brick pulled out a notebook.

“These are pictures of my daughter.”

“This is your kid?” Detective Marx’s
eyebrows shot up. She nodded. He looked over at his partner. “Kid does look a
lot like her.” His eyes darted from the photos of Sarah to Cara and back again.
“Why are you taking pictures of your own kid?”

“It’s a long story.”

Detective Marx sat down on a
bentwood chair. “I’ve got plenty of time, Ms. Brewster. Go ahead.”

 

* * * *

 

The next Saturday, Grant dropped
Sarah at Molly’s house for a sleepover then joined his wife and sister as they
made their way to the Irving Berlin Theater for a preview performance of
Blind Love.

They got out of the cab and rushed
inside, as they had only five minutes until curtain.

“Jane, I’d think you’d have planned
a little better. We almost missed the curtain,” Evelyn scolded, settling into
her seat.

“Program, Jane?” Grant asked,
sitting down between them.

Jane shot a queasy smile at him as
she handed him one. She whispered, “Don’t hate me.”

Grant shot her a quizzical look. The
lights had started to dim, so they couldn’t read. He rolled it up and held it
in his hand. He smiled as he recalled this being his favorite spot to watch
Carol Anne on stage in D.C.
Third row
center orchestra. Again. Brings back memories.
As the curtain lifted, a
tiny shiver ran up his spine.

When Quinn Roberts appeared on
stage, the audience burst into applause. Then Cara Brewster came out. Again,
there was clapping.

Grant’s eyes grew wide. He began to
cough and sputter. Evelyn gasped. He stared, rubbed his eyes, and looked again.
There was no doubt about it, Cara stood right in front of him. He coughed
again, drawing her gaze. Her eyes widened, and she stumbled into Quinn, who
caught her before she fell. Cara laughed and made a sarcastic remark about her
blindness, covering her blunder.

Grant shot daggers at Jane, who
simply shrugged. He was stuck. No way was he walking out, disrupting Cara’s performance.
So he settled back, his lips curling into a smile.
She looks great.
Cara glanced at him. He caught her eye and widened
his grin. He noticed her shoulders lower, her posture relax as she glided
across the floor with her usual grace.

Pleased to see she was still the
consummate professional, he noticed she didn’t blow her lines. Her performance
was seamless as she and Quinn created a romantic relationship for their
characters on the stage. Grant slipped his hand over his sister’s and gave it a
squeeze. He chuckled to himself when he heard her sigh.
She did this on purpose. Good for you, Jane.

His heart was lighter than it had
been in years. His whole body followed suit. His shoulders dropped, and his arms
felt weightless.

One glance at Evelyn’s red face
signaled to Grant how she was coping. Evelyn was as silent as a mouse,
shrinking in her seat, the redness slowly draining from her face, restoring her
natural tone. Grant glanced at her and attempted to take her hand, but she
snatched it away.

Hostile eyes shot him angry looks.
He shrugged to indicate he had not known, but the look of disgust on her face
told him she didn’t believe him. He sat back.
I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her ruin this moment.
He focused
on Cara again and found it hard to remove his gaze from her for the entire
play.

Time flew. Before he knew it, he was
rising up to lead a standing ovation for the cast, especially Cara. When she
made her appearance at the curtain call, she didn’t take her eyes off him,
bowing directly to him at one point. He beamed at her.

“We have to go back stage,” he said
to Jane.

“No way!” Evelyn pushed to her feet.
“Get me out of here.”

“Come on, Evelyn.” Grant took her
arm.

“How evil of you to plan this.”
Anger flashed in her eyes.

“I didn’t—” Grant began, until Jane
interrupted him.

“Look, Evelyn. Grant was as
surprised as you were. This was my doing. I planned it, and yes, I knew exactly
what I was doing. It’s time to get this resolved, one way or the other.”

“You’ve got some nerve, interfering—”

“Are you happy, Evelyn?”

“What business is that of yours?”

“I have to live with the insanity
going on in that apartment. And so does Sarah. She deserves better. If you both
want to be jerks, go ahead, but don’t drag Sarah and me into your little
drama.”

“How dare you!”

“Shut up, Evelyn,” Jane said, her
lips forming a tight line.

“You can go see her. I’m going
home.” Evelyn stopped and looked at Grant. “If I have a home.”

“Evelyn, you’re being overly
dramatic,” Grant said.

“Why don’t I call Carl Butler in
D.C.? I think you’ve had a
home
with
him plenty of afternoons when you were supposed to be picking up Sarah,” Jane interjected.

Evelyn turned pale. Grant’s eyebrows
shot up. He grasped the seat in front to steady himself. Heat in his neck
climbed to his face. “Is that true, Evelyn?” He managed to choke out the words.

“I’m leaving. I don’t have to put up
with this…this inquisition.”

Grant grabbed her upper arm. “Yes,
you do. But not here.” He glanced around and noticed people looking at them.
“Let’s take this outside.”

The three of them were the last to
leave the auditorium. Sullen-faced, Evelyn didn’t look at Grant or Jane.
I might be too late to see Cara.

“Why don’t you go home, Evelyn? I’m
going to try to see Cara. We can talk when I get there.”

“Fine,” she said, ripping her arm
from his grasp.

“You’ll be there when I get back,
won’t you?”

She nodded.

“I’m going with her. You need to do
this alone,” Jane said to her brother.

Grant found his way around the side
of the building, looking for the stage door. He located it and waited patiently
with a few others outside. It wasn’t long before Jake Matthews came out. He
looked around for a moment.

“Is there a Grant Hollings here?” he
yelled. Grant raised his hand.

“Ms. Brewster wants to see you. Go
straight. Hers is the first room on the left.” Jake held the door for him. The
theater was silent when he went inside. A few stagehands smiled and nodded.
When he reached his destination, he stopped and cleared his throat before
knocking.
I’m as nervous as that night
when I first spoke to her. You’re thirty-eight, not a kid. Get over it.

 
 
 
 

Chapter Six

 
 

Cara paced, nervous as a cat, in her
dressing room.
Grant was in the audience!
Surely he’ll come around to see me. Even if only to congratulate me. I know he
saw me looking at him. He’d never be that cruel, show up and not come back
after.

A knock interrupted her thoughts.
Oh my God.
She took a deep breath and
let it out slowly. Then she clasped her hands together to keep them from
shaking.

“Come in.” She tried to keep her
voice even, but it squeaked just a bit at the end. Grant walked in. She sucked
in air.
He’s as gorgeous as ever.

His dark brown eyes, full of
emotion, stared at her. His mahogany hair flopped over his forehead the way it
always had. Broad-shouldered, he was still narrow at the hips and thighs,
emphasized perfectly by his well-tailored, charcoal suit. A white shirt highlighted
his dark good looks. Her gaze settled for a moment on his wedding ring.
Still married. Damn.

She reached out a tentative hand,
“Come in.” He closed his fingers over hers as he crossed the threshold, closing
the door gently behind him. “How’s Sarah? Why did you move?”

“She’s fine. Long story. Carol Anne,
you look beautiful.” He still held onto her.

She laughed. “In your old flannel
shirt and leggings?” She eased from his grasp.

“In anything, as always.” His smile
grew.

“Did you like the play?” She twisted
a handkerchief in her hands.

“I loved the play. You and Quinn have
great chemistry. If I didn’t know he was a newlywed, I’d say you two were
having an affair.”

She blushed under his praise.
The only one I want to have an affair with
is you.

Grant stepped closer, pulling her
into his arms.

“I can’t help it,” he muttered as he
quickly lowered his head to capture her mouth with his. He swiped his tongue
across her lips, and she opened for him. She was stiff at first, awkward, taken
by surprise. As he probed her mouth, she relaxed against him. Her palms,
resting on his chest, slowly slid higher and higher until they reached his
neck. A shiver shot up her spine.

Her insides turned to liquid.
He’s married, step back.
But she
couldn’t. Five years of longing, pent up desire, broke through as the needs of
her body took over. She wanted him.

Apparently, he couldn’t stop either.
As he crushed her body to his, his need became obvious. Barely able to breathe,
she clutched his shoulders, wanting more. His hands fanned out across her back,
his fingers curled over her rump.

There was a loud rap on the door. The
would-be lovers broke apart. Cara covered her mouth with her fist. His eyes
were swirling, dark chocolate pools of passion, staring at her. They stood
still for a moment, face-to-face, until a husky voice broke the spell.

“Closing up, Ms. Brewster,” Gus
called out.

Cara took a deep breath before
replying. “Thanks, Gus. Leaving in five.”

Cara’s hand shook as she picked up
her jacket. Grant took it from her and held it out.

“I’m sorry, Carol Anne. I shouldn’t
have done that.” He blushed.

“You’re a married man, G.” His eyes
widened when her old nickname for him slipped out.

“Not for much longer.” She cocked an
eyebrow at him in silent question. “Not after tonight. Not after finding you
again.”

“But until you’re free, we
shouldn’t…” She turned her back to him so he wouldn’t see the color she sensed
was rising to her face.

He grasped her shoulders from behind,
whispering in her ear. “You didn’t push me away. You let me kiss you.”

She lowered her head in
embarrassment. “Not my finest moment, perhaps.”

“It was to me. You still mean
everything to me, and that kiss told me all I need to know.”

They stood silently for a moment
before Grant released her.
He knows I
still want him. Good. I won’t pretend.
“I’m staying in a suite at the
Empire Hotel. Can you come for a drink?”

“Great.” His gaze swept over her
from head to toe.

When they got outside, Skip was
tapping his foot. “Well, it’s about time, Cara. I’ve been out here cooling my
heels for…”

She put her hand on his arm. “Skip.
This is Grant Hollings. Grant, Skip Bedloe.”

Skip stopped short. He looked at
Grant, and a smile came over his face. “It’s about time I met you.”

Grant’s brow furrowed as he looked
at Skip.

“We’re going up to the suite for a
drink,” she continued.

“I have plans anyway. Nice to meet
you.” He extended his hand, and Grant took it.

“Nice to meet you,” Grant mumbled. After
Skip ambled away, Grant turned to her. “Your lover?”

Cara burst out laughing. “Not quite.
Skip’s my best friend. He’s gay.”

“So you’re unattached?” She detected
a note of hope in his voice.

“For the time being.” She lowered
her lashes, trying to hide her true feelings.
There’s never been anyone to rival you.

“This really is my lucky day.” He folded
his fingers over hers.

“I don’t think so,” shouted a loud,
female voice. They turned to see Evelyn standing in the alley, her hands on her
hips. “In fact, I think it’s your
unluckiest
day ever.”

“Evelyn. You remember Cara,” Grant
made a feeble attempt at an introduction.

“Remember her? Really, Grant?
Remember her? She’s been sleeping between us for five years.” Evelyn moved
dangerously close to Cara.

“What do you mean by that?” Anger
shot through Cara’s chest.

“You know what I mean, you tart,
vixen—” At that, Cara slapped her across the face then recoiled in horror at
what she’d done.

Evelyn raised her hand, but Grant
grabbed her wrist and subdued her. “Evelyn, don’t do this,” he said softly.

“Why not? I’ve wanted to do this for
the past seven years,” she ground out through clenched teeth.

“Don’t, don’t. Please. No one wins
if you continue…”

“Oh yeah? I win. I get to tell
little miss perfect what I think of her. Her and her precious career. Such a
famous actress—trash if you ask me.”

“Evelyn, stop!” Grant tightened his
grip.

“Let her talk, Grant.” Cara said.
“Let her get this off her chest.”

“You condescending little bitch. I
oughta
rip every hair out of your head.”

“Evelyn, calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” She
turned to look at him. “I’ve tried everything a woman can do to get you to love
me. But little miss goldilocks here already had you sewn up.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking
about. I haven’t seen or talked to Grant in five years.”

“That doesn’t matter. None of it
matters. He’s been in love with you all along. He married me but couldn’t love
me. I knew it, but fool that I was, I did it anyway.”

“Evelyn, stop…please,” Grant
pleaded.

“No, this needs to be said. I
thought I could make him love me. I thought I could be perfect, like you are.
But it didn’t work. No matter what I tried, he couldn’t love me.”

“Grant?” Cara turned a questioning look
on him.

He shook his head. “Evelyn, don’t.”

“Is what she’s saying true?” Cara
addressed him directly.

He hesitated. His gaze fell to the
sidewalk as he cleared his throat. “Well…this is neither the time, nor—”

“This is the perfect time and the
perfect place,” Evelyn spat at him. “Tell her, Grant. Tell her how much you
love me. How you’re holding
her
hand,
but you love
me
more than the sun,
the moon, and the stars. Go ahead. Make my day.”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“You can’t. I know that. Because
it’s her you love, not me. It’s always been her, never been me.” Her voice
trailed off as tears cascaded down her cheeks.

“You don’t love me, either, Evelyn.
In fact, I believe it’s Carl you love now, isn’t it?” He looked at her with raised
eyebrows.

“Maybe. Maybe I finally got wise.
Maybe I just gave up. Maybe…” Tears spilled onto her cheeks.

“I think you’d better go home. Let
me put you in a cab.” He slipped his arm around Evelyn’s shoulders.

“Getting rid of me so easily, huh?
Figures.” Grant walked her up the street to Eighth Avenue. Cara followed
behind. He flagged down a taxi, opened the door, and helped her inside. He gave
the driver a twenty-dollar bill.

Cara saw Evelyn sit back and move to
the opposite side. “Looks like it’s really over,” she said, joining him.

“Guess so. So sorry you had to
witness that…be subjected to her anger. You didn’t do a thing.”

“I know. But she did tell me a lot
about you. Is what she said true?” Cara stopped, moving closer to a building
for privacy.

Grant looked down at his feet and
nodded. “I’m ashamed to say it is.”

“Why did you marry her?”

“She was pregnant.”

“You didn’t waste any time getting
back into the dating game after I left.”

“Hey, you left me, remember?”

“So you have two children?”

“She had a miscarriage after we were
married.”

“That’s too bad.”

“I’ve wondered about that over the
past seven years. Pretty convenient.”

“Grant!”

“Well…just being honest.”

“I don’t blame her for what she said
to me. I’d probably feel the same way if I were her.”

“Let’s go get that drink. I could
use it.” He took her hand, and they walked along in silence back to the hotel. The
elevator whisked them to the thirty-fifth floor in the blink of an eye. Cara opened
the door to an elegant suite with a marble-floored entryway and subtle print
wallpaper in cream and light spring green.

They moseyed over to the
floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room space. Decorated in beige leather,
chrome, and glass it was modern but cold. The bedroom doors were on opposite
walls, giving each room more privacy. There was a small, round glass table for
dining placed near the windows.

“The city is beautiful, don’t you
think?” She took her coat off and laid it over the arm of the sofa then moved
over to the bar situated in a teak breakfront.

“Not as beautiful as you.” He turned
his gaze to her.

“Have you been living here long?”
Need to slow this down.

“Not quite a month.”

“I haven’t been here long, either. Do
you still drink vodka?”

“Yes, but with any mixer.”

“Any mixer? It used to be only bitter
lemon would do,” she remarked.

“I’m not as much of a pretentious
asshole as I used to be. Or at least I don’t think I am,” he chuckled.

She mixed the drinks and handed one
to him. When his fingers brushed hers, a shock flew up her arm, almost
dislodging the glass. Grant steadied her hand.

“Tell me if it’s none of my
business, but are you still sleeping with her?”

“Let me explain.” The pleading,
puppy-dog expression in his eyes softened her attitude.
Always could calm me down with that look.

“Go ahead. I’m listening.” She tried
to maintain a manner cold enough to chill his vodka from across the sofa, but
it was an act. Inside, she was burning up with every glance at him. She
couldn’t keep her gaze from roving over his masculine body, tempting her to
touch and be touched.

“To be honest, we’re not sleeping
together. Haven’t for a long time…”

“Isn’t that too bad for you?” Her tone
was brittle.

“Please. This isn’t like you.” He
raised the drink to his lips.

“How would you know? You haven’t
seen me or talked to me in five years.”

“Just wait a damn minute.
Who
disappeared for five years? Sure as
hell wasn’t me! You haven’t seen or talked your child…our daughter…in five
years. Whose fault is that? Where the hell have you been?” He pushed to his
feet, anger coloring his face.

She followed him. “Where? Making a
living, that’s where. A damn good living. Evelyn could stay at home and be a
mother to my child. But I had to go out and work.”

“That was your choice. You could
have—”

“You were married, remember? I
gladly would have come back and married you when I found out I was pregnant.”
Her voice went up an octave.

“Then why didn’t you?” He shouted.

“Because you were already married!”
She shouted louder.

“How did you know?”

“I called.” Her gaze fell from his
face to her feet, her voice almost a whisper.

“You what?”

“I called. Evelyn answered. I was
floored. Didn’t expect a woman to answer. I expected you to be all exasperated,
then when you heard it was me…to be so happy. I was excited. I knew you’d be
happy along with me. So I asked for you.” She went to the window.

“Then what happened?” He came up
behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders.

“Evelyn got suspicious. She asked me
who was calling. I thought she’d just hand over the phone. But she didn’t. I
got nervous. I clammed up. Then she said she was your wife and could she help
me. And I couldn’t speak.” Tears welled in her eyes.

“Oh, God. Cara Mia…”

Cara wiped them away with her
fingers. “Then she got angry, said something nasty, and hung up the phone. I
was devastated, crushed. I didn’t know what to think. Pregnant with your child
and you were…out of reach.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t
know.” He turned her into his embrace. She sobbed into his chest.

“That’s when I knew the meaning of
the word
alone.
So I fended for
myself as best I could. But I wanted you so much, missed you so much.”
It feels so good to have him hold me again.

“I wish I could have been there for
you.” He stroked her back and kissed her hair.

“So do I. It was hard, damn hard.
For a while, I assumed you’d been seeing her on the side, while we were
together…you weren’t, were you?” She stepped back to search his face.

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