Memories of Love (13 page)

“Your wish is my command.” He eased
himself lower on her body, touching her core. “I see you’re almost there.”

She moaned when his head disappeared
between her legs. Want and need raced through her veins, making her squirm
under his ministrations.

“Hold still, I can’t—”

“You’re making me crazy!” She
groaned, her eyes shutting slowly for a moment.

“Ready,” he muttered, lying back
down. He grasped her hips and pulled her on top of him. “Let’s start like this,
so I can see you.”

She guided him into her, her head
slowly falling back as the sensations of their joining burned through her body.

“God…Cara Mia,” Grant murmured,
closing his eyes.

While his hands steadied her so she
could establish a rhythm, Cara rode him up and down like a merry go-round
horse. Bracing herself with her palms on his chest, she bent down to kiss him.
He put his hand behind her neck and pulled her down. His mouth ravaged her
hungrily as his hand squeezed her breast.

The aroma of his aftershave mixed
with his masculine scent drifted to her nostrils, teasing her, arousing her
more. Being bombarded by sweet, sexual sensations from all parts of her body,
Cara’s passion boiled over, bubbling up through her chest then down to her
hips. All muscles clenched then released as pleasure sped through her all the
way to her toes.

“Grant!” she called, eyes closed.
She heard a chuckle then opened to see a salacious grin on his face. With his
hair falling on his forehead, his pupils glittering so darkly they were almost
black, he looked more handsome than ever.

He rolled her over, pulled one of
her knees up, and plunged into her. “Cara Mia,” he muttered.

Cara touched the thin coating of sweat
on his back as he pumped into her hard and fast. Closing her eyes helped her
focus on the intense feeling he was creating inside her, filling her, loving
her, and stimulating her again beyond her control.

A loud grunt from Grant as he thrust
hard three times and stopped coincided with another orgasm for Cara. She
gasped, clutching him.

Afterward, Cara rested her head on
his chest. Feeling the vibration when he spoke tickled her slightly. The deeply
resonant timbre of his voice made her feel safe.

Grant closed his arms around her and
kissed her hair. “Ah, Cara Mia it won’t be long before you’ll be living with
Sarah and me, in our house. I can’t wait to wake up to you every morning.”

“G, I’m not sure about moving.
Shouldn’t we talk to Sarah first?”

“Sarah will love you. I know it. You
can finish your run in the play and quit the movies. Sarah will have a real mom.
We can go to soccer games together, PTA. Dinner with you every night…”

“G, the play might run for a while,
and I won’t be around for dinner. I never eat right before the show.”

“Right, right. When the play is
done, we’ll have dinner.”

“G, sweetheart, about quitting the
movies…”

Grant sat up. “I make a good living.
You’ll live in comfort, want for nothing. You won’t have to work anymore. I
want to take care of you, Cara. I’ve wanted to for a long time.”

She smiled at him. “Darling, I think
that’s wonderful, but I’m not sure I’m ready to give up the movies.”

“Why not?” He leaned back against
the headboard.

Cara faced him. “I’ve being doing
this a long time, and I’ve fallen in love with acting.”

“When you first started, you needed
to support your mom and sister. Your mom is gone, and I can support your
sister, too. We’ll get a bigger place.”

“That’s not the answer. You’re not
hearing me. I like acting…I love acting. It’s become part of who I am.” She
pulled the sheet up to cover her breasts.

His face clouded. “You can’t love
acting and love me, too.”

Cara sat up. “What?”

“I need a wife, and your child needs
a mother and that should come first.”

“It will. I want to be Sarah’s
mother. I was her only parent for the first two years of her life,” she
reminded him sharply.

“I know you were. I regret that,
too. Missing her infant years…Well, I’ve always felt... missing that. It’s
terrible.”

“And I’ve missed her for five years.
It’s beyond terrible. It’s unspeakable.” Cara’s voice softened.

Grant put an arm around her. “She
needs you now. I do, too. I never should have let you go in the first place.”

“Let me go?” Cara pulled away from
him and reached for her T-shirt.

“That’s right.”

“Like you could’ve stopped me?” She
slipped her panties on.

“I could’ve married you. I should
have.”

“Oh?” She cocked an eyebrow at him.
“So why didn’t you?”

“I was an asshole. I’ve always
regretted not proposing. I had the ring. Still do.”

“It’s sweet that you had the ring,
but without a proposal, it was meaningless. Proposal or no proposal, I was
going to Hollywood. You must understand that. You couldn’t have stopped me.”

“Why? What we had was so wonderful.
Why did you need more?”

“I don’t know, but I did. Now you
say you love me, but you want to take away something that gives me joy.” She
slipped the top over her head.

“I don’t want to take away something
you love. I want to make a switch, from loving acting to loving your family.”

“So you think you can replace what I
get from the stage and screen with a family?”

“I want to try.” His voice was
quiet.

She threw back the covers. “Why
can’t I have both?”

“Because you’re human and can’t be
in two places at once.”

“And if I remain on Broadway?”

“That’d be fine because you’d still
be in New York, coming home to my bed every night, picking up Sarah from school
and having time with her.
Broadway’d
work fine.”

“I see. The king declares that the
lowly queen can remain on Broadway but can’t make a movie!” She pushed to her
feet abruptly, anger coloring her cheeks.

“You have to leave for months at a
time when you make a movie. You’re away, God knows where, perhaps sleeping with
God knows who—”

“Aha! Now we get to the real point.
You’re not just worried about me being gone. No, you’re afraid I’m going to
sleep with my leading man or the director or a cameraman while I’m away!” She
grabbed her jeans and pulled them on.

“Stranger things have happened…”

“Thanks for the trust, Grant.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’ve never
slept with a leading man before?”

“I’ve never been married before. I
take marriage vows seriously. And what about you? When I’m out of town, what
will you be doing? What have you been doing all this time with Evelyn? Don’t
tell me you’ve simply been celibate for the past few months.”

“I take marriage vows seriously,
too. And yes, I have! I never cheated on Evelyn…not physically.” He stood up,
outrage in his eyes.

She sat back down on the bed. “What
do you mean, ‘not physically?’”

He blushed. “Well, even though I
tried…I never loved her…really…like I love you. I’ve always loved you. Did I
make love to you in my head, in my heart? A thousand times. Is that cheating?
Some would say it is. I don’t agree.”

His words stopped her. Anger drained
out of her at his honest confession. She moved to him and stroked her palm over
his cheek, softly saying, “You did that? For all those years?” He nodded,
shifting his gaze to the floor. “I’m so sorry we’ve missed this time together.”

“Me, too.” He took her hand and
kissed her palm. “Let’s not fight.”

“I don’t want to…but we do have to
resolve these things.”

Once dressed, they ambled into the
living room to finish dessert and sip coffee. Skip returned, obviously high on
either booze or pot. He came in slightly red-faced and chuckling.

“Ah, my young lovers. Do I see two
smiles of satisfaction? What have you two naughty children been up to while
Uncle Skip has been away? I think I can guess.”

“It looks like you’re the one who
has been up to things, Skip,” Grant shot back, laughing.

Skip plunked down heavily into a
chair. “I should hope so!”

“Just discussing our future,” Cara
said.

Skip’s sunny face clouded in an
instant. “That discussion should include me.”

“How’s that?” Grant sat up.

“Because I’m her agent. I
am
her future.”

“I’m her lover, soon to be her husband…hopefully.
That makes
me
her future.” Grant’s
surly tone rubbed Cara the wrong way.

Skip rose halfway out of his seat. “Why
you arrogant bastard! Disappear from her life for five years and now think you
have some rights…”

Grant stood up, his hands fisted at
his sides. Cara raised her palms to both men. “Stop! Both of you! I’m my own
future. I can have a future without either one of you. I can make movies
without you, Skip. Agents contact me all the time about firing you and hiring
them. And I can have a relationship with my daughter without you, Grant.”

The color drained from Skip’s face
as he sank back down in his chair. Grant’s mouth hung open as he stared at her.
“That’s right. I can sue for custody.” Cara’s mouth set in a grim line. His
eyes widened.

“I don’t want to do either of those
things, but I will if you force me. Stop trying to control me. I’m my own
person. Grant, I adore you, but I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time,
and I have no intention of giving up my career. I will modify the amount of
time I’m away from Sarah, but I’m not quitting.”

“See, I told you,” Skip smirked.

“And Skip…I’ll do a movie when and
if I want to, regardless of the pressure you put on me. My relationship with my
daughter comes first. We’ll have to sandwich movies around time I spend with
her. It’ll be a challenge, but I’m sure we can keep me afloat in this crazy
business while I mother Sarah. Other actresses do it. I can, too.”

She plopped down on the sofa,
exhausted. Grant turned to her. “I love you, Cara. I don’t want to control you.
I want to be a part of your life. Do you still want to marry me?”

“I do. But we need to take time to
sort things out. I haven’t even re-connected with Sarah yet.”

“Do you blame me for wanting to
corral you?”

She chuckled. “Of course not, but
can we take our time a little? I’m not exactly a heifer on the loose, either.”

“What about me?” Skip chimed in.

“What about you? Have I fired you
yet? No. Do I intend to? Not as long as you listen to me, no. Don’t borrow
trouble, Skip.”

“But about that new movie—”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking
about!” She put her hands on her hips. “I’ll get to it when I get to it. Can I
please deal with opening night first?”

The men sat in uneasy silence. Their
puppy dog expressions touched Cara’s heart, but made her want to laugh at the
same time. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed. Can we table everything for now
and just relax?”

“Of course, baby,” Grant rose,
taking her in his arms for a hug while he kissed her hair. “Good night, Cara
Mia. Sleep well.” He let her go and turned to leave.

“Me, too. Me, too.” Skip yawned,
waved to Cara, and slipped into his room.

Cara kissed Grant and opened the
door. “Tomorrow night is a rest night for me. The night before opening.”

“Can I take you out to celebrate on
opening night?” He lingered in the doorway.

She nodded.

“Can we wait up for the reviews
together? Do people still do that?”

“No way am I staying up all night
waiting for a review. I have to do the play again the next night.” She hugged
the door.

He laughed. “Ah, the glamour is gone
from this business.”

She touched his face gently. “Don’t
worry. I’m not going to sue you for custody.”

“I didn’t think you were, but your
comment stopped me.”

“Think about how we can work this
out. You’re a lawyer, isn’t creating compromises a big part of what you do?”

“Don’t know if I can compromise
about you.” His gaze connected with hers.

“You may have to.”

Grant’s brow furrowed. “Do you still
love me?”

“You have to ask? After tonight…in
the bedroom?”

“Yeah, we’re sexually compatible. I’m
talking about love.” His dark eyes searched hers for an answer.

Cara paused, staring into his eyes.
“I cried for weeks and weeks when I found out you were married. I’ve always
loved you, G. Never stopped.”

“You don’t need me in the same way
you did then. You’re so much…stronger and more independent now.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t need you.
I’m as insecure as any actor, but I’m so much happier with you than I was
without you. Why do you think I’m not married?” She rested her hands on his
shoulders.

“I had no clue. I expected you would
be by now. I’m ashamed to admit I read the tabloids every week, searching for
news of you…of a marriage. I dreaded it, and every week there was no article
about you marrying a prince or sheik or star, I was relieved and happy. I know
it’s selfish, but that’s how I felt.” His gaze dropped to the floor.

“I didn’t marry anyone, Grant
Hollings, because I’ve always been in love with you and no one else could
measure up.” She took his chin in her hand and pulled his face up until their
eyes met. “I love you, body and soul.”

“That’s all I need to hear. As long
as you love me, I can bend. We’ll work something out.” He palmed her cheek.

“I have a huge house with a pool in
L.A. We should spend some time there.”

“Doubt I’ll have trouble getting
Sarah to go along with that.” He smiled. “Until opening night. Break a leg, by
the way.” He kissed her then walked out into the hall.

Chapter Thirteen

Sarah woke up early with a smile on
her face. Today was the day she was going to meet her mother. Bounding out of
bed, she was happy to see the sun shining and the leaves in the park changing
color. She threw open her closet doors and started pawing through her clothes.
Have to wear something special today.

Every outfit she put together was
discarded as not being pretty enough or special enough. Tops went flying onto
the bed, followed by skirts then pants and tights. By the time Jane came to see
what was taking Sarah so long, the pile was stacked several feet high.

“What the?” Jane muttered after she
opened the door to Sarah’s room.

“Get out!” Sarah burst into tears
and ran at her aunt, pushing her back through the doorway.

“What are you doing?” Jane’s eyes
widened.

“I’m trying to find something
special, but everything I have is awful! Old, ugly…” She dissolved into a
puddle of tears on the floor.

“You have lots of lovely outfits,
Sarah.” Jane picked the girl up to a standing position.

“No! Nothing! I don’t have anything
special!” Sarah yelled, stomping her foot on the floor.

Grant loomed in the doorway. “What’s
all this?”

Sarah started throwing her clothes
around the room, screaming.

“She’s having a meltdown,” Jane
advised him.

“I got that. But why?”

Jane shrugged her shoulders. Finally,
Sarah sank down on her rug, having run out of steam. Jane raised her eyebrows
at Grant, shoving him toward his daughter. “She’s your child.”

Her father squatted down to talk to
her. “What’s the problem, pumpkin?”

“It’s a special day, and I can’t
find the right outfit.”

“You have plenty of clothes. Can’t
Jane help you find something to wear?”

“No!”

Grant glanced at his watch. “You’re going
to be late for school.”

That set her off again. Sarah leapt
up, hysterical, and ran around the room, flinging clothes everywhere. Jane took
charge. She dug under the pile until she uncovered a pair of pink tights and a
lavender and pink print dress with long sleeves and a white lace collar.

Sarah wiped her eyes with the backs
of her hands.

“Try this one,” Jane handed the
outfit to her niece.

“Pretty,” murmured Grant, standing
up, stretching his legs.

The little girl eyed her family
suspiciously. Then, she grabbed the dress and tights, whipped off her pajamas,
and slipped the dress over her head. When she finished pulling up the tights, her
father gasped. “Why that’s perfect! The most special outfit I’ve ever seen!” He
wore a huge grin.

That made Sarah laugh. “Daddy,
you’re so silly.”

He hugged her to him. “What’s so
special about today, pumpkin?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.
She squirmed out of his grasp and ran to the dining room, where she wolfed down
scrambled eggs and whole-wheat toast. Grant joined her. When breakfast was
finished, Sarah was the first to get her coat and book bag. She waited
impatiently in the front hall for her father.

“Slowpoke today, Daddy.”

Grant raised his eyebrows at his
daughter and chuckled while he held the door open for her.

Rex swung the wrought iron front
door open for Grant and Sarah, tipping his hat to the young lady. She returned
his smile then bolted out the door, tugging on her father’s hand. “I can’t be
late.”

“Part of the secret?” he asked. She
nodded.

They fairly ran up the street,
making it seconds before the gate was closed. Sarah screamed out “Molly!” as
she ran to join her class. Molly turned around and waved at Sarah. Once she
reached Mrs.
Wilner
and the class line up, she turned
to wave goodbye to her father.

Sarah could barely sit still all
day. She fidgeted, her attention wandering. Fear mixed with excitement and
anticipation in her blood. She tapped her foot while waiting on line in the
school cafeteria during lunch. She hopped and jumped on the playground during
recess. She answered Mrs.
Wilner’s
questions wrong
and couldn’t stop staring either at the clock in the classroom or out the
window.

Molly focused on her work even
though Sarah tried to distract her again and again. “Stop it, Sarah! Come on,”
Molly said, pulling her arm away from her friend.

“I can’t wait!”

“We have to do this stuff for Mrs.
Wilner
, so let me alone.”

Sarah backed away. Afraid if she
made Molly angry, Molly would cancel the adventure, and Sarah was beyond being
able to accept that. She tried hard to calm herself with little success.

When the big hand on the clock swung
around to the five, Sarah knew it was dismissal time. “Do you think Josie will
be there?”

Molly nodded. “She’s always there to
pick me up.”

“But I mean—”

“I know. I think she will. She said
she would. She’s pretty good about doing what she says she’s gonna do.”

Sarah smiled. Her heartbeat seemed
to increase with every step she took that brought her closer to the yard. Molly
came up behind her and grabbed her hand. “Let’s go!”

The girls skipped through the gate.
Josie was waiting for them on the corner. “Remember what I said. We stay five
minutes…got that? Five minutes!” She shook her finger in Sarah’s face.

The young girl nodded, trying to
contain her joy.
I’m coming, mom.

Molly and Sarah continued
to hold hands as Josie led them over to Broadway. Before they lost sight of the
school, Sarah turned her head, looking for the pudgy tall man, but he wasn’t on
his usual corner. She shrugged and moved toward the bus stop.

It
seemed forever before the bus arrived. It wheezed to a stop, then the driver
lowered the steps so the girls could board. It was fairly crowded for three
o’clock, but they happened to find three seats all the way in the back.

“I’m hungry,” Molly announced.

“This was all mom had,” Josie said,
pulling three string cheese sticks out of her backpack. She handed them out and
each ate quietly while they looked out the window. The bus rolled and waddled
to the next stop.

Sarah happened to look up at people
coming in the door. There was the chubby tall man. The hair on the back of her
neck pricked a little, but she had no idea what it meant. He glanced at her
then glanced away. A spike of fear shot through her for a moment, but she
ignored it.
He’s there every day. How
could he be bad?
She shrugged and went back to staring out the window,
wondering when they were going to get to Fifty-Fourth Street.

The bus teetered and tottered,
making the passengers who were standing rock back and forth. Sarah was squeezed
into a seat next to a large woman. None of the girls spoke. Sarah’s stomach
became queasy. Fear of what she might encounter gnawed at her for the first
time.

What
if my mother doesn’t want me? What if she gets mad I’m there? What if she says
she’s not my mother.
Tears stung her eyes. Sarah touched the half heart
hanging around her neck for comfort. She didn’t know what she’d do if any of
those things happened. Blinking rapidly, she pushed the bad thoughts out of her
mind because she wanted to feel happy.
It’s
gonna be good. She’ll be happy. I just know it.
She wiped her face with the
back of her hand.

The progress of the slowly chugging
bus tested her patience. Sarah tried all the mind games her father had taught
her when they had to wait for a plane or ride a train. But nothing calmed her.

“This is it,” Josie said, pushing to
her feet and hitting the button that alerted the driver a stop was requested.
The girls gingerly picked their way through the crowd, trying not to step on
anyone, but not succeeding. One older woman shot a hostile look at each girl as
they trampled her feet.

Molly couldn’t suppress a snicker
when she got off. “Did you see that mean old biddy?” she asked Sarah. The other
girl nodded and joined her friend in a giggle fest.

“Pay attention! Come on,” Josie said
in a harsh voice, pulling the girls out of their silliness.

Sarah’s pulse increased quickly, the
closer they got to the theater. A short block, then another, then a long block.
She was too excited and preoccupied to see the chubby man get off behind them.
They arrived and the girls searched for the door. The front doors were open and
they went in, only to discover that it was the wrong entrance.

“I’ll find it,” Sarah said, breaking
free of her friends and racing around to the side of the building alone. Gus sat
at the stage door, as usual, monitoring everyone who went in or out. He spied
her running up and stopped her before she went in.

“Hey, young lady, just a minute,
just a minute. You can’t go in here.” He blocked the doorway with his rotund
body.

“My mama’s in there.”

“Your mama?” Gus shot her a
skeptical look.

“Yes…”

“Must be Ms. Brewster. Right? You’re
the spitting image.”

Sarah nodded. “Is she here?”

“Yep. I think so. She’s in early
today. Tomorrow’s opening night.”

“Can I see her?”

“She never told me she had no kids.
I’m afraid you’ve got to wait here, young lady. I’ll go get her.”

Gus waddled down the long corridor
to Cara’s dressing room, leaving Sarah standing in the alley by herself.

* * * *

Damn!
Out of butter!
Jane picked up the phone and dialed Molly’s house. “Hi,
Angela, can I speak to Sarah, please?” She sat down at the kitchen table.

“Jane? They’re not here. Aren’t they
at your place?”

“Here? No. They were supposed to go
to your house today.”

“No, I remember Molly telling me she
was going to Sarah’s today. Oh my God. They’re not here and not there? Shit!”

“They’re missing…on purpose. Something
special…oh
Lordy
, Sarah, what have you done?”

“Molly’s part of this plan, too.
They’ve run off somewhere.”

“I’m going to search Sarah’s room.
Maybe I can find out where they went. Back to you later.” Jane hung up and
immediately dialed Grant as she hurried into Sarah’s room.
Special day, special day…

She tore the place apart as she
explained to Grant.

“Missing? Sarah’s missing?” Grant’s
voice rose an octave.

Jane snatched the pillow off Sarah’s
bed. There was a picture of Cara Brewster. She smiled. “What’s the address of
the theater, Grant? I’ll meet you there. Seems as if Sarah has decided to
introduce herself to her mother.”

Jane called Angela, then put on her
coat and headed for the subway.

* * * *

Cara had been pacing while reciting
some last minute changes the director wanted when Gus knocked on the door. “Got
a young lady out here says she’s your daughter, Ms. Brewster. I didn’t let her
in, ‘cause I don’t know if you got kids or not—”

“Sarah!” Cara gasped. She put down
the script, grabbed her jacket, and practically ran down the hall.

As she arrived, she heard a muffled
scream. She spied two young girls running up to the door before she saw Sarah
in the clutches of a tall, chubby man. He had one fat arm wrapped around
Sarah’s middle and the other hand clamped over her mouth. Cara gasped.

“Get back, lady. You, too, kids.
This one’s coming with me.” He backed up, dragging Sarah with him. She
struggled but was no match for the strong man. Her gaze found Cara’s and the
little girl doubled her effort to break free.

The sound of a siren coming down the
street signaled the arrival of the police. Detectives Marx and Brick pulled
their car over and got out, brandishing their guns. The pudgy man let go of
Sarah’s mouth long enough to pull a knife with a five-inch blade out of his
pocket and press it against her throat. The minute he removed his hand, she
screamed then called, “Mama!”

“Sarah!” Cara called, raising her fist
to her lips.

He replaced his hand quickly. “I’ll
slit her throat if you guys get any closer,” he snarled at the police. The two
detectives froze, still holding their guns up. Cara gasped, staggering back
into Gus, who steadied her. The police sirens and commotion had alerted Quinn
Roberts and Jake Matthews, who came up right behind her. They stopped short
just outside the stage door.

“That’s my little girl,” Cara
whispered to her co-stars.

“I’m taking this little honey with
me. Been
waitin
’ for the chance for weeks now. She’s
mine, and you all had better back off.” The man moved slowly, backing out of
the alley toward Eighth Avenue.

My
girl. This monster has my girl. Sarah!
Emotion closed Cara’s throat. She
wobbled for a second, caught by Quinn, who put a steadying arm around her. She
took several deep breaths.
Think, think.
Don’t fall apart. You can’t. You’ve got to help her. Think.

Detective Brick disappeared into the
squad car while Detective Marx attempted to clear the street, moving pedestrians
back. It wasn’t long before a small crowd had formed. Soon other
black-and-whites joined the detectives. The street was cordoned off.

Cara walked slowly toward the man,
her eyes on Sarah. “Come on…you don’t really want to take this little girl, do
you?”

“Oh hell yeah, I do. I’ve been
dreamin
’ about her. So get back.” His mean little eyes
flashed hostility and rage at her.

Cara stopped. She stepped back.
Quinn whispered in her ear, “Do you really want to do this? Let the police
handle it.”

“I’m her mom. I’ve got to try.”

“I’m her mother,” Cara called out to
the man. Her heart beat so fast she thought she’d die right there. She wanted
to reach out and comb her fingers through her daughter’s long, blonde hair.
Tears threatened, but she blinked them back.
You can’t fall apart. You must remain calm. Play the role. Strong,
assertive, smart mother. Figure something out.