Memoirs of an Immortal (The Immortal Series) (9 page)

As for me, I filled my days training with Dienekes and with my duties as a proper Spartan queen.

It was hot and a long afternoon, the sun was beating down on my body. I was in the courtyard with Dienekes. I was teaching him about the bow and arrow and how they were deadly in the right kind of hands.

After showing him some special attacks that my mother taught me. I began to demonstrate the javelin.

Both were my mother’s best skills. She believed the reasons why the Amazonians used these sorts of techniques were because they could weaken their opponent before dealing the last blow. She would say that it is not the fact that they were weaker because of their sex, but that it was their sex that made them smarter.

“Always strategise.”
She would say
. “That way the outcomes are always in your favour.”

Dienekes took to training with me quite well and I impressed him with my determination with his Spartan instruction.

It was difficult to say the least, but quite rewarding, when I was able to withstand anything he threw at me. He would even teach me strategic positioning and war techniques.

I was so impressed that a brute like him was actually well versed in battle. Hearing him talk about his agoge, his training when he was young, impressed me.

What impressed me even more was when he took part of the krypteia rite of passage. He inspired me to want more out of my education, but he would only placate me, saying that a queen would never step foot on a battlefield. He never knew, but his words would sting me every time he would speak like that.

One day, while we were in the middle of our training, Leonidas had walked over to us, his face worrisome. I knew that something was bothering him because he spent last night awake, deep in his thoughts. I had never seen him that way before.

“Dienekes?” Leonidas called.

“Yes, what is it?” Dienekes loved Leonidas like a brother. They were inseparable and I welcomed their relationship, because I loved him too.

“There are talks of the Persians invading. We have been asked to join the fight, but the ephors had consulted the oracle and they do not agree with what we should do.” Leonidas was leaving something out and only later would I find out.

“I’ve been in need of a good fight and with the thanks of your wife, I am sure I could kill a few more Persians.” Dienekes was eager like most Spartan men. They were soldiers by profession. Their first instinct was be to fight and kill.

I’m not going to lie and say that I was happy because I wasn’t. I wasn’t naïve enough to think, that they would go off one day and be back the next. Leonidas loved his men and I grew to love them as well. They were comrades and brothers. They had gone through so much together and each would give their lives for one another. War meant loss and I didn’t want to lose my husband or anyone else for that matter.

Leonidas had walked over to me and placed his hand on my face.

“Are you afraid?” He asked.

“I will not die. I promise you. But this is something that we need to do. I understand that the ephors can bury their heads and hide behind us, thinking that we are strong, but if we allow the Persians to have an inch of our land then we are all lost. We can no longer say we are free. My wife, do you understand me?”

How could I not, he was the same as my father. It wasn’t about glory or fame, it was about the greater good of our people and that’s what made him a great king. I nodded, afraid that if I opened my mouth I would blurt out something I shouldn’t.

Leonidas called for Dienekes to follow and they both left me alone in the courtyard. I couldn’t let go of this nagging feeling, but I couldn’t let him feel my anxieties. I married a king, but not just any king, a Spartan king.

That night Leonidas had walked into our room, the fire was already lit and I was already in bed.

“Are you angry?” He sighed.

“No! I’m elated.” I fired back. “I’m glad that you have to do this. Of course, I’m angry.” I was upset that I couldn’t even get my words out properly.

“I am who I am and you must accept that reality.” Leonidas said as he walked over to me.

“I know. I know the reality. I know who you are, that is why I’m hurting. I’m going to lose you.” I cried. He hugged me and kissed my hair.

“I promised I will live. You need to give me strength so that I may come back to you. I told you that I fear death now. How could I ever leave this world if I knew you were still in it?” He murmured. He released me from his hug and began to kiss my tears away. He was leaving tomorrow and I didn’t want to spend our last night angry.

Instead we had spent the rest of the night feasting on each other. It was simple as he entered me gently. He began to rock into me slowly and leisurely. A simple kiss was enough to lose my mind. Our love and fear took over that night. We were taking our time enjoying every part, knowing that it could truly be the very last.

Morning came and he was gone. I dressed quickly and ran out to the gates of the city. There his army stood, my husband was there among them. The atmosphere was quiet. I stood there not moving. I watched him leave, not knowing if I would ever see him again. My feet were too heavy, my heart breaking. No tears. I forced myself to not cry so that I could send off my husband without worry. I was going to be strong. I watched as the last soldier walked over the ridge, that’s when I collapsed.

All the emotions I held inside me had finally come out. Cynisca came quietly from behind and placed a robe on my shoulders. She stood me up and held me.

“I will stand with you for however long you wish.” She said softly.

I felt that had I turned my back, I would somehow be further from him. That in some way I was accepting the certainty of his fate.

He was now gone and the day had turned to into night. Cynisca held true to her word and stayed. She cleaned my face and we headed back towards the palace.

A month had passed since he had left. I would do my duties to the fullest. That way I felt closer to him, but the nights would come and I would be alone in my room. I refused Cynisca’s and Eupolia’s company, but I could not refuse one. Every night the fire pit would light itself, he wouldn’t say anything, but it would always stay lit until morning.

Most of his army had finally returned, Leonidas wanting their safety. He had stayed behind with three hundred men to make sure of their escape. As the days passed, I grew more worried, but I knew Leonidas’ determination and will was stronger than most. He would be back. Back in our home and back in my arms.

It was early in the morning and the sun had yet to rise.

“Psykhe! Psykhe, they’re back!” Pro cried out.

I jolted out of bed and quickly got dressed and ran barefoot to the gates. He was right. I could see our men coming. My heart started to beat faster as the men got closer. I could see that some were injured, as I called for help I realized that only a handful of soldiers had come back.

Most Spartans ran out realizing what was happening. I watched as the few that came back were reunited with their families. I was smiling at their happiness and was anticipating mine.

“Please my queen head inside, I need to speak to you.” said a soldier. His voice was sombre and I didn’t like his expression.

“No! I’ll wait here.” I commanded.

“My queen, please!” He persisted. “The king…”

As he spoke, I saw a body being carried back. I could vaguely hear his speech. Eupolia somehow managed to find me. She gasped and I understood. She held onto me, but I broke away from her and ran up to the body. The men who carried the body lowered him. I stood frozen. My mind not comprehending what was going on. A dirty bloody sheet had covered the body.

“Leonidas….Leonidas?” I whispered.

I took off the sheet and my mind went blank. My eyes filled with the image of him wounded and broken. His head had been cut off, his body cold and ridged. He was gone.

“We retrieved his body. Xerxes wanted it. Wanted to…” The soldier began to speak, but I ignored him. All I could see now was the mangle body of my lover, my friend, my husband.

To some, seeing him like that would destroy them, but to me, to me, all I could feel was the bitter loneliness that had filled me.

“You left. You promised me you wouldn’t, but you left.” I whispered.

I was so angry at him. I was angry, angry at a dead man who had stolen my everything. I reached for his hand and held it close to my face. The coldness of his touch sending shivers down my body.

“How am I supposed to live now? How? You never told me. You never gave me what you took from me. How? How am I supposed to live without a soul or a heart?” I was screaming at him trying to make him talk to me, but his silence was deafening. I was beating his chest, wanting him to feel my pain, but in the end I finally broke.

I stood up, my face wet with tears. I stood next to the body of my husband. This lifeless cold body, no longer was the man who loved me. This was far more then I could bare. I waited for them to walk him back. His people began to quietly sob as they followed a somber precession. I walked back to the palace holding his hand. They placed him in the outer courtyard and I kneeled down not letting go of him.

That same soldier came up to me and began to tell me of the story of the Battle of Thermopylae. He would speak about how caring Leonidas was towards his men, wanting them to go home so that they would be safe.

How all the men swore, they would stay by his side. He continued telling me on how many men they were and how they encountered other men from Athens and other areas. They all came together to fight, but it would be the Thespians that would be so impressed with Leonidas’ leadership, that they had stayed and die with him.

That had it not been for a traitor named Ephialtes, the battle would have gone a lot smoother. He spoke of the difficulties of finding Leonidas’ body and head. He then spoke of Dienekes, upon hearing his name I began to look around for him.

“Where is he? I didn’t see him!” I asked anxious. At least if he was alive, I had someone left.

“He died my queen, even in the hour of our worst episode he would still be Dienekes. You would have been proud. It was Maron, who noticed the amount of archers the Persians had. He was afraid that it would darken the sky, but it was Dienekes’ quick wit that readied us for battle. He said ‘then we shall fight them in the shade’.”

I began to cry, that would be something he would say.

“His body? Where is it?” I asked never lifting my gaze for Leonidas’ face.

“We could not find him, but we buried the rest on the battlefield. We erected many head stones in honour of those who died.”

I cried even more, knowing that Dienekes was all alone out there, with no one to care for him. I began to feel despair. I had never thought I would feel this amount of sadness.

The ephors stood behind me, waiting for me to say or do something, but all I did was stay by my husband and cry onto his chest.

I awoke in my room weaken from the events. The fire was still lit, when Cynisca walked in. She looked at me with sadness in her eyes. She felt sorrow for my loss. I was nothing now, empty of all things. I didn’t care what happened to me now. I just wanted to be with him.

Cynisca helped me up. I could not find the strength to speak, she continued to help me as she washed and dressed me. When she was done I stood by the window and overlooked the courtyard. It was in this courtyard that I would watch Leonidas train. I would sit and stare for hours at him disciplining himself.

I fell back onto my bed, not wanting to do anything now.

“You can’t now. The ephors want to see you.” Cynisca whispered. She handled me as though I was about to break at any moment, afraid to say or do the wrong thing.

“Why do they want to see me now? What can they possibly want with me?” I said. I really wasn’t seeking an answer. I just didn’t have to strength to leave my room.

At the ephors meeting, they announced my arrival. Cynisca didn’t leave my side as she held me by my arm.

“You asked for me?” I could hardly project my voice.

“Yes, yes we did.”

I truly despised them. They were called
ephors,
an elitist group of five men, who believed they had power and could wield it anyway they could. They hid behind the true men of Sparta, who have valor and honour, they were nothing but cowards.

“We, the ephors that is, have decided that since Leonidas is gone, you are no longer needed. He is not here to protect you and you are not even part of our people. We have suggested and many have agreed that it was your fault for tempting the fates, which brought about the death of our most beloved king. There is no real reason to keep you here. You could not even produce a child for him. We have taken care of Leonidas’ body and now we will clean up his mess.”

The ephor member who was speaking was small in stature. There was no Spartan in him, he was loud only with someone else was behind him. He smiled while saying this to me, at the time I believed in his theory. I felt guilty that I may have had something to do with everything.

“You, the ephors have never liked my presence nor the fact that Leonidas chose me over your beloved Gorgo. I never liked your constant interference in our lives. You are nothing, but cowards that hide behind your power and wash your hands of all the battles. You may blame me as I blame myself, but you will never erase me from him, now where is my husband?” I roared.

I was seeing red, I wanted blood and I didn’t care whose it was. The same ephor member spoke up. “It’s none of your concern anymore. Now you may go.” He dismissed me and turned his back.

Cynisca was about to take a step forward, but that would mean trouble for her. I stopped her and shook my head. I reached for a small dagger that I always had on my thigh and threw it at him. It cut his face as the dagger struck the wall. I walked over to him and kicked his legs from underneath him. He fell over and I grabbed him by the throat.