Melted & Shattered
Melted & Shattered
Published by Emily Eck at Smashwords
Copyright 2014 Emily Eck
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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Table of Contents
Thi
s
is the second book in the L&J Trilogy. I
f you have not read the 1.5,
J Speaks
, I encourage you to do so as it gives you information you need to understand Melted & Shattered.
Thank you. -E
Note #2 – Ursher is deliberate, not a typo. For more information, consult Ludacris.
To
CNP, for opening my eyes.
This story is yours as much as it is mine.
Ah, the darkness
. It was so sweet. Really, I didn’t want to leave. Nothing hurt in the darkness. It was sublime, so of course, it was never meant to last. Nothing good lasts. We all hurt each other at some point. The darkness gave me peace and then ripped it away. Fucker.
You know on TV show
s how they tell people to talk to someone in a coma? I saw it before on TV, but thought it was bullshit. Turns out it’s not. I think. Fuck, I don’t know. I might’ve been in a coma. I might not. I didn’t know what was going on. I just knew one minute the darkness was silent and the next minute it wasn’t.
First, I heard murmurs. I could make out
different voices, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying. I don’t know how long that lasted. Wherever I was, there wasn’t a clock, and it was really fucking annoying.
Like
a single clap of hands, the murmurs changed to clear words. There were so many, I struggled to distinguish one from another, so I focused on the one most familiar—Chris. She was yelling, but it wasn’t how I heard her yell at the guy who grabbed her ass at Eight Oh Eight once, or how she yelled at cars in traffic. It was laced with pain and sadness.
“Why are you here
? Get the fuck out of this room. Get. The Fuck. Out. GET OUT!!”
I felt Chris take my hand
. I tried to squeeze, but my fingers wouldn’t move. She was shaking, and I wanted to cry for her since I'd never heard her like this. It was like she was falling apart. Her voice broke. “Just get out. Elle wouldn’t want you here.”
Another
voice responded. It was the poor soul on the receiving end of Chris’ wrath.
“You don’t know what Elle would want
. Let me help.”
My heart started to race
. I knew that voice. I loved that voice. Why were they yelling at each other? My head hurt as I tried to piece together what was going on, but it exhausted me, and then something started beeping. If I could have moved, I would have covered my ears. Each beep was a nail going into my head.
I could sense motion in the room
. Someone was asked to leave. Fuck. Why couldn’t I move? I tried to squeeze Chris’ hand still holding mine. I think I heard her acknowledge the movement, but I slipped back into darkness. It was quiet in darkness.
******
The next time I heard voices, they were clear. No murmurs. Larry. I would know his voice anywhere.
“What are we gonna do?”
I could feel his hand in mine as he whispered this.
“
We’re gonna find the
pendejo
who did this and fuck him up. That’s what we’re gonna do.” José. His voice was laced with anger, and the desire for revenge, something I'd never heard from him before.
I tried to squeeze Larry’s hand, but my fingers still wouldn’t move
.
“A
pendejo
is a mother fucker, right?”
“Yeah, Larry
. You ‘bout to do this with me or what?”
I could feel Larry lean towards me
. God, it was frustrating as hell being able to listen and do nothing. “I didn’t protect you.” Larry’s breath hitched. “Fuck. How could I let this happen to you? I’ll make it right. I promise you that, Elle. I won’t let you down again.” I could feel him hovering next to my ear as he whispered this. Fuckin’ Larry. I loved him like a brother, but nothing more. Never anything more, though it pained me as I knew he loved me differently. Why couldn’t I love him? It seemed like it would be so easy. But love isn’t easy. Love isn’t fair. Love chooses you, not the other way around. Then love gets you shot. I could feel the ice building around my heart already.
“Come on man, let’s go
. You ready to hit the brown side of town?”
I heard Larry sigh
. “Fuck. If your boys can do it, then let’s get this done. You know I’m in all the way.”
I didn’t know what they were going to do, but I knew it would be futile
. Even with José’s boys, they were no match for J or MM. The beeping started again, which meant a flurry of activity and then darkness. Sweet darkness.
******
I opened my eyes. They were heavy, and the room was blurry. I saw a figure curled up in a chair next to my bed, but couldn't tell who. Someone was mumbling something in the background that I couldn’t make out. I tried to move and my body screamed, shooting pain exploding across my torso. Fuck. I think it might've been the worst pain I’d ever felt.
I blinked my eyes a few times trying to clear my vision
. It was night—I think. The room was dim, for which I was grateful. I opened my mouth to speak and it was raspy, like I’d smoked a thousand cigarettes in one night. My throat was raw. I tried clearing it, and a gurgling noise erupted out of my mouth. The figure on the chair unraveled and rushed towards me, causing me to flinch, and closed my eyes tight. I braced myself for whatever was moving my way, convinced whatever is was planned to attack me.
“Elle, can you hear me?” Chris pled
. “Oh God, Elle.” I heard her start to sob and if I had any energy I would have wrapped my arms around her, consoled her. As it was, I was struggling to keep from slipping back into the darkness.
I wanted to open my eyes
. I did, I swear I did, but I knew the moment I opened them, I would be unable to avoid reality. No more darkness. I heard Aaron’s voice in the back of my head.
Buck the fuck up, chica.
“Chris,” my voice scratched out
. I opened my eyes and stared into her blue ones, rimmed in bright red.
She grabbed my hand and collapsed beside my bed
. “Oh my God. I didn’t know if you’d open your eyes. Fuck.” She inhaled and exhaled shaky breaths, trying to pull herself together. I’d never seen Chris lose it like this. “They said you would wake up eventually, but minutes were starting to turn into days.”
She stood from the ground and sat on the edge of the bed, still clutching my arm. “Do you remember?” I nodded
. I remembered everything.
I cleared my throat again
. “I—” My voice was struggling to come out. I had to tell her something, I had to let her know. I motioned with my head for her to lean down and I tried to pull her to me with the hand she held in a vice grip. Once she was close enough, I whispered, “I love you, bitch.”
Chris laid her head in the crook of my neck
. I felt tears roll down my shoulder as her body silently shook. Through her tears she laughed, wiped her snotty nose on my hospital gown, and whispered back, “I love you too.”
I smiled and fell back to sleep
. That heart-felt exchange was all I had in me. The murmuring coming from somewhere in the room continued as Chris crawled onto the right side of the bed, quickly falling asleep next to me.
When I woke up again, the room was in a state of chaos. It made me thankful Chris and I had our moment alone, because we were far from alone now. I cleared my throat. That one little noise was all it took for everyone stop speaking and look straight at me. I felt like a sideshow freak.
Chris rushed to my right side and took my hand. “How are you feeling?”
I didn’t answer her question, instead taking a moment to survey the room. A nurse. Jesse. Aaron. Genesis. Marcos. And some lady in the corner praying. What the fuck?
I pulled Chris down to me and whispered to her to clear the room
. I closed my eyes while she ushered everyone out. She told them nicely—well, as nice as Chris can be, that I wasn’t up for visitors just yet and that the nurse needed to check me out now that I was awake. I didn’t know if that was true, but I really didn't care, I couldn't handle all those people. I kept my eyes closed while I heard the shuffling of people exiting.
“Me too?” Aaron’s voice.
“Yeah, just for a minute. Give her a second to get her bearings. Get rid of everyone else, but hang close. I’ll grab you when I get this handled.” God bless Chris and her take no prisoners attitude.
“You too,” I heard her say in a harsh voice.
“No.”
Aw, hell
.
“I don’t even know why you’re here
. Or why you think you get to be here.” Chris’ voice got low, which was equivalent to most people raising their voice. When her voice got low and quiet, watch out, because it was about to be on. I had to stop that before it got to that point.
I was stiff as hell, and my throat still hurt like a bitch, but I cleared it and motioned to Chris to come over so I could whisper in her ear
. She leaned down to me. I didn’t have the energy to give what I had to say the venom it deserved. I was counting on Chris to handle it for me.
When I was finished, Chris walked over to
the foot of my bed where J was standing. He turned to look her in the eye. It seemed like this was not the first argument they’d had. I assumed a lot happened while I was unconscious, and apparently I was right based on the anger radiating between Chris and J. She stood in front of him, and stared him dead in the eye when she said, “Quote, I didn’t know you could love and hate someone, but apparently Wale did cuz he wrote a song about it. This is the hate part. Get out.”
Yep, she nailed it
. J looked at me, pain in his eyes. I wanted to feel bad, sad, mad, pissed the fuck off—but I just felt empty. I didn’t hate him—per se. He pled with his eyes for me to show him something, anything to let him know we weren’t over.
Like I said, I was empty
.
Or at least I thought I was empty
.
J ran his hand over his face, catching a few tears before they could fall
. As he turned and left the room, I realized I wasn’t empty. In fact, I was overflowing. My eye balls were like volcanoes and my tears, lava. They erupted out the sides and fell, making paths down the side of my face. Once they started, it seemed there was no stopping them. Chris crawled into bed beside me, holding me through the sobs that shook my body, each spasm sending my left side into a whirl of pain. Between the pain, the tears, and the mumbling person who never seemed to leave the room, I eventually passed out from exhaustion. Even if the darkness was temporary, I welcomed it.