MEGA-AX1 The Inferno (10 page)

“Jessie, please let me inside.”

Jessie called out through the door, “I’m fine. I just need a shower. Give me twenty, and I’ll be down, ok?”

Reluctantly, Téa decided to give her some time alone. “Okay.”

Michael looked so confused, “Téa what’s wrong? Is she alright? Did you two fight?”

Téa pinched the bridge of her nose, “She’s fine, and no we didn’t fight. This is just a hard time of year for her. Can we talk about this later?”

Michael wanted to talk about it now but he’d learned by now that Téa wouldn’t do anything until she was ready to do it. So instead, he just pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. “Ok, we’ll talk later.”

They headed down the stairs while Jessie shed silent tears in private.

Several minutes later, Jessie was still leaning against the door for support because all of her energy was gone. How could she have forgotten? She whispered to her dead family, “I’m so sorry.” She’d never forgotten an anniversary before. The guilt was almost unbearable.

A half hour later, Jessie still hadn’t come down from the bedroom. Téa kept looking up at the stairs from the library waiting for Jessie to come down.

Brian walked into the library just as Michael was voicing his concern, “Ok, Téa, what the hell is going on? Your eyes have been glued to those stairs waiting for Jessie to come down, and she was clearly upset. Something is really off and I want to know what it is.”

Brian hoped that it wasn’t about last night. He would never purposely hurt Jessie. “Maybe, I should go talk to her.”

Michael caught the guilty look on his brother’s face.

Téa stood up, “No! I’m sorry Brian. I didn’t me to yell at you. It’s just that this time of year is really difficult for her. I’d hope time would heal her but…” her voice trailed off. I’m going to go up and check on her.

Chapter 13

Téa went up to check on Jessie and Michael closed the library door behind her. “Ok…What’s going on Brian? Last night when Téa and I walked in here I could tell something was up. Did you do something to Jessie?”

Brian couldn’t look Michael in the eyes and nervously rubbed his chin. “I…I…Didn’t mean to. I love her and would never do anything to hurt her.”

Michael cursed under his breath, “Did you come on to her? Damn it. Jessie is like a sister to Téa.”

“It’s not like you think. We were reading lines and she kissed me. Next thing I knew, one thing led to another. It came out of nowhere.”

“Jessie is not the kind of girl you can just sleep with and it doesn’t mean anything.”

“You don’t think I know that! I spent all night trying to sort this out in my mind. She’s special to me and like I’ve said, I would never do anything to hurt her.”

“This didn’t just come from nowhere. If you can’t be honest with me at least be honest with yourself. I’ve seen how you look at her when you think no one is looking.”

Brian didn’t deny it.

“Do you want to explore something more with her?”

“I spent all night thinking about that. You know my circle of people I trust is very small. It consists basically of three people, you, Jessie, and Téa. If I tried to pursue something more and it didn’t work, my circle would get even smaller. I would never want to hurt or lose Jessie.”

“How do you know you would hurt her or that it wouldn’t work out? How do you know she’s not the one for you?”

“I’m not willing to risk it. I’m not even sure how she feels about last night. We haven’t talked about it yet. She could feel like it was a mistake. Then, there’s Brigitte. What? Do I just kick her to the curb? I genuinely care for her. She understands me and we’re good together.”

“It sounds like you’ve made your decision.”

“I have…Jessie is one of my best friends and I never intend to lose that friendship. I’ll always do anything to protect it.”

“I can’t say that I’m not sorry. I’ve always thought Jessie would be good for you. When she’s around you’re more…relaxed. She seems to help keep you grounded. But, if that’s your decision, I’ll respect it. I just want you to be happy, and if Brigitte does that for you, then I support that, too.”

“Thanks. I just hope everything is ok.”

While Michael and Brian were downstairs Téa was going to force Jessie to face her demons. She knocked on the door. There was no answer. She knocked again. Again, there was no answer. Luckily, when she turned the door knob it was unlocked.

“Jessie, it’s me, Téa.”

Jessie was lying on the bed with her hands behind her head staring up at the ceiling. Téa sat down on the bed next to her.

Jessie closed her eyes and the tears just started to stream down her face. Her voice was shaky, “Téa, I was so wrapped up in…in…the craziness that is my life…that I forgot. What kind of person would forget about them?”

“A person who has experienced an unimaginable tragedy but is trying to move on with her life. You didn’t forget them. Don’t you think you’ve served your penance? It’s been nine years, Jessie.”

“I’ve tried to let it go. I carry it with me every day and I can’t.”

“Something was so powerful it allowed you the space to let the guilt go, if only for just a minute. And guess what? It’s okay.”

Jessie sat up in the bed and covered her face with her hands, “You don’t understand, I shouldn’t be here. I should have died, too!”

Téa reached out and hugged her tightly as they cried together.

Jessie started talking as if the tragedy had just happened. “We were sleeping when the men came into our house. By the time we knew they were inside they’d already made it into the girls’ bedroom. I’m guessing they thought it was our room. We begged and pleaded for them not to hurt the girls. They kept asking for the
Amuru
. We didn’t even know what the Amuru was, but we would have given them anything.

I watched them kill my babies. I
watched
them Téa. There was so much blood. Antonio and I tried to stop them but we couldn’t. They shot me first in the chest barely missing my heart. But I saw them put a bullet right through Antonio’s eyes. They left both of us for dead.”

Téa was crying too, “I didn’t know you saw everything.”

“I saw
everything
. At some point I must have passed out because it wasn’t until I woke up in the hospital several days later that Kyoshe explained what happened. They took my life…my soul…and it was all because of a mistaken identity. They had the wrong house.”

Téa was in shock. Kyoshe is real? She’d thought he was a myth. “I’m so sorry, Jessie, but I thought Kyoshe was an urban legend? He really does exist?”

“Yes
she’s
real. After I got stronger, I found out all I could about the Amuru. With the help and training of Kyoshe, I found the men who killed my family and the men who ordered it. They now have no need for the Amuru. It sits on my desk.”

“I don’t understand...you didn’t allow those men to kill you that night, but you’ve allowed them to murder your spirit. I think that is worse, and I can’t believe this is what Antonio would have wanted for you. He’d have wanted you to try to build a life, not live in some self-made purgatory simply because you didn’t die.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Isn’t it? Isn’t that why you keep everyone outside of MEGA-AX1 at a distance—even Michael and Brian?”

Jessie pulled back from her embrace and wiped away the tears with the back of her hands.

“What do you want me to do? I’m trying.”

“Try harder. You’ve got to figure out a way to let go of the pain, hurt, and guilt. I’ve known you for eight years and you only run yourself to the point of exhaustion when something is on your mind. Whatever it was allowed you a brief reprieve, but you’re fighting it. What was it?”

Jessie contemplated not telling Téa, but she was tired of holding everything inside. Since she was spilling her guts she might as well tell all.

“I tried to seduce Brian last night.”

Téa almost choked, “Say that again?”

“I tried to seduce Brian last night.”

“I heard you the first time. I knew it. My instincts usually don’t fail me. Jessie that’s wonderful. Were you successful?”

“No.”

“No? Why not?”

“You and Michael came home early. But, it was all for the best.”

“You haven’t been with anyone since Antonio, at least that you’ve mentioned, so Brian must be something special.”

“Téa, I tried to seduce him knowing he had a girlfriend. I mean it didn’t work, but after everyone had gone to bed I was still hoping he would come to me last night. He didn’t. Good thing one of us was thinking clearly because I’m not that kind of woman.”

“Brigitte is not exactly his girlfriend. They are dating, but I don’t think their exclusive yet.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m just so full of emotions right now. And, I don’t even know how to face him. I just hope I haven’t ruined our friendship. It means a lot to me.”

“Brian is a pretty level-headed guy. I know he cares about you a great deal, and obviously you really care about him, too.”

Jessie took a deep breath. It felt good to finally talk about everything that happened all those years ago and to be honest with her feelings. Téa was right about so many things but mostly about feeling guilty about living. Antonio would never have wanted this for her. He would have wanted her to be happy. The problem was Jessie had no idea how to be happy.

“Thank you for always being there Téa.”

“No thanks is necessary. You are the reason I’m here today. I owe you so much for saving my life. The least I can do is offer whatever comfort I can.”

Jessie was about to hug her again, but Téa stopped her, “Wait…can you hug me after your shower because my goodness, you need a good long one?”

For the first time in a long time, Jessie was going to face her demons and she was determined they weren’t going to win.

Chapter 14

It was late afternoon before Jessie finally made it down the stairs to visit with her friends. Téa and Michael were outside on the patio and Brian was sitting with his head bowed over his desk looking intently at some documents. More than likely, he was still going over his script.

Jessie took a few more minutes as she stood outside of his door to gather her courage. She couldn’t hide out in her room all day. She needed to get this over with. So, Jessie took a deep breath and cleared her throat to get Brian’s attention.

His head snapped up, “Hey.”

“I know you’re busy but is it okay if I come in?”

Brian stood up from his desk and waved her inside, “Of course, please come inside. I’m glad you came down because I was sitting here wondering if I should come up to check on you.”

Concern was evident in his eyes.

Jessie walked past the sofa where they’d almost made love and did her best to ignore the feelings that came along with that memory.

She sat down in the chair in front of his desk. Brian sat down, too.

“Jessie is everything okay? Michael said he’d seen you in tears. I hope it wasn’t because of….last night.”

“No, it wasn’t; however, my mind has been very heavy. Today is the anniversary of a very difficult time in my life.”

Brian got up and walked around the front of his desk so that he could be closer to her. He looked deeply into Jessie’s eyes.

“Talk to me. Please. I hate what I see in your eyes. I just want to help.”

“I know you do but maybe another time. Not today, not about that.”

Emotionally, Jessie could only deal with one thing at a time. Right now, she just wanted to be honest with him about her feelings and lay her cards out on the table. She could feel her heart beating through her clothes, “I suppose we should acknowledge the elephant in the room about what happened between us last night.”

Brian could see that Jessie was carrying a huge burden and all he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms to make that look in her eyes go away. Instead, he gave her a half-smile.

Jessie continued before she lost her nerve, “You are a very important person in my life. I would never want to do anything to…”

Brian cut Jessie off and exhaled loudly, “Oh thank god, me either! I would never want to lose you as a friend. I thought I’d really messed that up. You’re one of the most important people in my life and I’d never do anything to hurt or disrespect you. So, yeah, I agree we should just be friends.”

That wasn’t remotely what Jessie was going to confess. She wanted to tell him that she didn’t want to do anything to make him distrust her. Especially by using his script as an excuse for her behavior last night and that…she’d fallen in love with him. But, he was pretty relieved to think all she wanted was a friendship. Jessie plastered a smile on her face, hoping he wouldn’t see that she was hurt. If all he wanted was a friendship, she’d promised herself that she would bury her feelings and continue to be what he needed.

“Of course…friends. It would probably be better if we just forgot last night even happened.”

Although Brian was relieved that they’d made the decision that their friendship was too important to jeopardize, he still felt….disappointed. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, you’re right.”