McCann's Manor (42 page)

Liz and Kim both smiled at Sondra and told her good bye. John looked at Liz long and hard, but Liz kept her distance. “Good night, John, Mark. Thanks for coming,” she said mechanically, then added to the caterers, “Dinner was superb. I wish we could have done it justice by having a houseful of people gobbling it down. Thank you for your hard work."

Kim waved and headed back toward the living room to give John and Liz a moment of privacy as the others went into the night to board the chopper.

"Liz, I really
am
sorry about this—” he started.

"Like I said, don't worry about it,” she said.

"I know what you
said
, but you're angry with me and I don't want to leave it like this,” he said.

"You must, because you
are
doing it,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “And now all of a sudden you're taking off to Florida for a couple of weeks to boot. Obviously, you're doing
exactly
what you want to do."

He sighed, reached for her hand once more. She allowed him to take her hand, but she didn't return the gentle squeeze he gave her. “All I know is that suddenly I felt like if I didn't get out of here I was going to explode. I'm sorry if I disappointed you, but sometimes I just have to go somewhere for a while. This house and the memories here are too much for me."

"Sounds like something that has been building for quite a while, why didn't you say you needed to distance yourself? Why did you have to encourage us to have this stupid party in the first place? You know I didn't want to do it:
you
are the one who insisted;
you
are the one who wanted to be here all the time and help get ready for tonight. You brought this on yourself!” she spat.

He pursed his lips, looked at the ground, let his hands fall to his sides. “You're right; I did bring this all on myself, I guess. It's a little too late to undo it, though. I just didn't see it coming. Are we still friends?"

Liz rolled her eyes, put her hands on her hips and looked at the chopper waiting on the lawn for its last passenger. “Yes, we're friends,” she said with a heavy sigh. “You had better go now. Sam's waiting for you."

"Will you kiss me good bye?” he asked.

She was taken aback by the question. “No,” she said categorically. “The whole time you're here you're thinking about Missy, and I don't feel like I should be kissing Missy's lover; it messes up my thinking,” she blurted. “Go. Now,” she added before she stepped back into the house and shut the door behind her.

Inside, she quickly locked and bolted the door and leaned hard against it, as though John might try to break it down, half wishing he would. She wanted him to take her in his arms and tell her Missy was his past but she—
Liz
—was his future. She wanted him to stay and instead she had practically thrown him out.
Stupid, stupid woman!
She stood there as though transfixed to the spot as she heard the chopper revving up for the take-off, then she listened when it took off; she waited until the sound of the whirring blades was gone.

That was it; gone in a few seconds.
Damn
him!
Damn
the stupid storm,
damn
Halloween and
damn
Missy! No, she didn't mean that. Missy had been a victim and it wasn't her fault if John Carter was still in love with her after all these years. Damn that wicked, perverse, scheming Moira, then! It was all
her
fault. If it hadn't been for Moira, Missy and John would have gotten married, had a house full of kids and lived happily ever after—and Liz might never have met John; and that probably would have been all for the better. Moira and the others in that hot ball of messed up weirdness were going to pay for all this—
one way or another
.

"So,” Kim said as Liz slunk into the living room, “what was
that
all about?"

"What was
what
all about? You're not going to start with me over thinking John should have been more considerate; at least he could have talked it over with us before he just announced he was waltzing out.” Liz said.

Kim sighed, “Liz! I was
talking
about John and Mark suddenly flying out of here like they had seen a ghost."

"Oh,” Liz said. “Maybe we shouldn't have talked about ghosts on Halloween. What else are you
supposed
to do at a Halloween party on Halloween night, for pity's sake?"

"It's probably the storm; the place does look
spooky
in the candlelight. It would have been fine if the electricity hadn't gone off and if all our guests had been able to come,” Kim consoled. “By the way, why
did
you get so angry about his leaving?"

Liz stared at Kim, shook her head. “If you have to ask, trying to explain is probably useless. I'm not sure I understand it all that well myself. It wasn't so much his wanting to go home; it was the nonchalant announcement he was going to Florida with Sondra that got me. They hadn't even talked about it."

"What makes you say that?” Kim asked.

"Didn't you see the way she looked at him? She was surprised by his sudden proclamation,” Liz explained.

"Hmm—guess I missed that part. Are you sure you aren't reading more into all this than it deserves?"

Liz stared at her friend a moment before picking up a candle and heading for the front stairs. “I'm going to bed now. Good night."

"Liz, wait—” Kim beckoned.

Liz took a deep breath, turned to face Kim. “What is it?” she asked.

Kim stopped to blow out the other candles, joined Liz. “I'll go with you. I would say we should check the kitchen, but there probably isn't much we could do in there tonight anyway. We both need some rest."

"That's the truth,” Liz agreed.

"Come on, Spooky, Ghost; time to go upstairs. You know, I've been thinking about what you said about Moira having all those spirits bound to her,” she began.

"Yes? What about it?” Liz asked.

"Well—now think about this a while before you reject it, all right?” Kim ventured.

"What?” Liz asked.

"Okay, the more I consider it, the more I'm convinced we're just going to have to go through the portal into the past and find out what it was that made Moira so hell-bent on destroying everyone and—” Kim began.

"And
fix
her?” Liz finished Kim's thought.

Kim stopped on the stair, pursed her lips, waited for her friend to pooh-pooh her suggestion. When Liz kept her silence and merely stared back at her, Kim continued, “Yeah, in a manner of speaking, I guess so. Do you think that's a crazy idea?"

"Actually, I had given it some thought myself. The question that comes to mind is: should we both go?” Liz posed.

"Of course, we should both go. You don't think for one minute I would let you go alone, do you?” Kim protested.

"But if we both go, who'll take care of Spooky and Ghost?” Liz asked.

"No! No-no! That's not even an issue,” Kim fired back. “We'll simply come back before we left, or at the most a few hours later, and there will be no need for anyone to take care of Spooky and Ghost."

"Come back before we left!” Liz parroted. “Oh, sure—
if
we come back at all. No problem."

Kim grimaced at Liz. “What is it with you these days, Liz? Nothing I say can be done. You never used to be so negative. What
is
your problem?"

"Come on, Kim! Don't be crazy,” Liz chided. “Even Ben said the portal isn't totally safe; we might just find ourselves permanently lost in the past."

"No, that is
not
an option, Liz,” Kim insisted. “Ben knew how to control the portal and after last night, we have access to all he knew. We can control it, too."

"Maybe,” Liz conceded with a slight nod. “Let's sleep on it and tomorrow,
when
we're rested and it's daylight, we'll talk about it. Agreed?"

"Sure,” Kim said. “We do need to get some sleep,” she said as they reached the top of the stairs.

"I'm kinda glad everyone left,” Liz confided. “This way, we don't have to play hostess until the small hours of the morning when we're
totally
bleary-eyed. We can just veg out until morning."

Kim laughed, “Right. I'll see you in the morning, then."

"Good night. Rest well,” Liz said as she turned at the doorway into her room. Bed was going to feel great tonight. Neither of them gave a second thought to their pact to room together until this great confusing conflict was over.

It was six o'clock in the morning when Liz's cell phone woke her. She groped at the night stand, finally found the intrusive instrument of her rude awakening. She pressed the talk button as she drew the phone to her ear, mumbling about changing the ring to something less insistent. “Hello?"

"Liz,” John said hesitantly, “I know it's early but—"

Liz sighed, opened one eye to peer at the clock beside the bed. She stifled a yawn, waited.

"You still there?” John asked sheepishly.

Another sigh and silence.

"Guess you're still ticked at me, huh?"

"John, why did you call? I was asleep; I don't wake all that fast from a sound sleep; just tell me what you want; I'm listening,” she said, stretching as she rolled onto her back.

"I've been thinking about what you said last night about my being Missy's lover and only thinking about her when I'm there."

Liz waited.

"You're not going to make this easy, are you?"

Liz frowned. What was he going to say to her? Why did she need to make it easy for him to tell her he didn't want to come around anymore? “What
is
it, John?"

"I guess maybe that
was
true, even after all this time, at first; but over the past few weeks I have started to think of you as—” This time the silence came from John's end.

Liz's eyes flew open. What was he going to say? She swallowed hard, tried to keep her breathing even. “You've started to think of me as
what
?"

"Well, as more than just a friend or as a psychic who has come here to help Betty and this house—and me. I find myself wanting to come see
you
and hating to leave. Oh, damn! Liz, because of you, I find myself for the first time ever thinking
maybe
I could forget all the things that have happened there and when I think of the manor now, I'm thinking of you
—not
Missy."

"Is that why you ran out of here like you had seen a ghost last night? Is that why you decided to go to Florida on the spur of the moment?"

"Well,
yes
. Crazy as it may sound, the realization of it all hit me only last night and; well, it completely blew me away! I think I'm falling in love for the first time since Missy."

Liz opened her mouth to speak, closed it again, swallowed, then tried again. She took a deep breath, blew it out through puckered lips to disguise her surprised gasp. “Haven't you played the romantic lead enough by now to know you should be standing in front of your leading lady when you tell her something like this, to catch her when she faints?"

There was a moment of silence then she heard a relieved sigh and a low chuckle. “Sorry, when it comes to matters of the heart I'm only the dashing romancer on the screen. I tend to botch it big time in real life."

She almost laughed, too, but she could feel tears surfacing and she didn't dare speak or laugh or sob for a minute. Had she truly this instant heard what she had just heard? Was he only trying to stop her from being angry? Had she really been angry, or was she merely scared of playing second fiddle to a ghost?

"Liz?"

"Yes?” she asked shakily.

"Did you hear what I said?"

She reached to wipe the tears that seemed to spring from a boundless fountain deep inside her. “Yes—"

"Well, aren't you going to say anything?"

Liz searched for words, came up with only more tears. What did she really feel for John? Was she only enthralled because of who he was? Did she know him well enough to love him, really? What did he want her to say? She took a deep breath, tried to form some kind of intelligent, or at least intelligible, reply. “I don't know what to say,” she whispered at last.

"I suppose that's fair enough, but at least tell me if there's any hope for a relationship between us."

She sighed into the phone, tried in vain to muffle the sob that was determined to escape from her mouth. “Oh, John—"

"You aren't crying, are you?"

"Why not?” she asked through sobs that wouldn't stop.

"Well, because I'm not there to hold you. It isn't fair—"

"You're the one who
called
to tell me this news instead of—coming—over here.” God, could he even understand her when she was blubbering this way? Why was she weeping so, anyway? Wasn't this what she
wanted
to hear him say?

"I'm a terrible coward. After last night, I wasn't sure you would even talk to me, let alone
see
me today."

"I guess I behaved badly last night. I was tired and let down because the party turned out to be such a disaster and then you just took off out of the blue. I'm sorry,” She managed to blurt out between the snorts and sobs.

"Oh, honey, I'm the one who is sorry. I should have thought of a more appropriate way to tell you what I was feeling, but it was like I suddenly ran into this brick wall head-on and it provoked quite a response in me. I just thought I needed to go soak my head and think for a while. I wasn't expecting this, you know."

"Neither was
I
."

"You're quite a woman, Liz Carr. Does this mean there
is
hope for us, even though I was a horse's ass last night and I'm leaving today?"

"I guess we both need some time apart to think. I've grown very fond of you as well; I just don't quite have a good enough grasp on what this feeling might be yet; but there
is
definitely something between us that we need to explore."

John sighed. “I'm certainly glad you said that. Does that mean maybe you're a little less angry with me now? I can't leave with you angry at me."

"What if I
were
still angry?” she asked at last managing to still the tears and speak in a normal tone.