Maya Banks (20 page)

Serena looked at her, mouth open. "But that's precisely what you said you wanted. No messy emotion. No expectations."

"I know. Stupid of me, isn't it?"

"It's not stupid, Julie. It just seemed to have come from left field."

"Put it this way. I saw something pretty damn special, and it made me realize what I was missing. Now, I haven't decided if I want it yet. I'm holding out hope that if I give myself enough time to come to my senses that I'll smack myself on the head and stay the course."

"I wish Faith was here. She'd help me pry information out of those clamlike lips of yours."

Julie smiled. "It was sweet of you to come over this morning. I'm sorry I worried you, but you know I'm glad to see you."

"You had Damon worried too. He struggled over the ethics of allowing Nathan to participate in your fantasy. Micah might be his friend, but he's very protective of the women who come to The House."

"Damon is a great guy," Julie said casually. "When are you going to put him out of his misery?"

A peculiar look crossed Serena's face.

"What?" Julie asked, latching onto that look. "What was that look? You aren't taking a page out of Faith's book and dumping the man, are you? Don't make me hurt you."

Serena flopped back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "If I tell you this you're going to think I'm the biggest moron on the face of the planet."

"I'm afraid that particular title is mine," Julie said. "So spill."

Serena sighed. "I've been so preoccupied with worrying over whether this whole thing with Damon would last. What if I wouldn't want the type of relationship he wants long term? What if we got to that point and he couldn't accept that I no longer wanted it? What if, what if, what if until I've driven myself crazy with all the what-ifs."

"Recognizing your illness is the first step in your recovery," Julie said sagely.

Serena laughed. "Oh stop, Julie. I'm being serious here."

"Continue on," Julie said with a wave of her hand.

"When he asked me to marry him, all I could think was that in his position of power, how could he ever know why I accepted? Every time he's asked me, the power is weighted toward him. I don't know but it made me uncomfortable. I want... I want our marriage to start out on equal terms even if during the course of it I cede control and power to him."

"You want it to be your choice."

"Exactly! I don't want him to ever look back and doubt that I came to him freely, doubt that I gave myself entirely to him because it was what I wanted. I don't want him to think I was under some spell and would have agreed blindly if he asked me to jump off a bridge."

Julie snickered.

"Oh shut up," Serena grumbled. "I know it sounds ridiculous. Maybe some of what inspired Faith's ninniness rubbed off on me."

"There does seem to be a lot of that going around," Julie said wryly. "I wasn't immune to it, unfortunately."

Serena gave her a quick hug. "Well, we can all be stupid twit females together."

"You'll only be a stupid twit if you keep refusing Damon's proposals."

Serena pulled away and smiled one of her sexy, secretive smiles that probably drove men insane with lust. "Actually, I plan to ask him to marry me. Today. I figure he can't ever think that he coerced me if I do the asking."

"Oooh, sneaky, devious. I love it! I'd pay real money to be a fly on the wall when you ask him."

"Yeah, I'm pretty fond of the idea myself."

"So? What are you doing over here? Get your ass back to your man and propose."

Serena smiled and squeezed Julie's hands again. "Because you're my friend and seeing you was more important this morning. I had to make sure you were okay."

"Well, thanks. I'm fine. Really. Nothing a day of pampering myself won't fix."

"Want to do lunch this week when Faith gets back?"

"The hell with lunch. When she gets back we need to have a girls' night out. Lots to celebrate. Her marriage, your engagement."

"Okay, done. Faith is supposed to roll in Tuesday morning. Or at least that's when Damon's jet is supposed to land. Knowing those two, it's entirely possible they'd miss their own flight."

"Go, go," Julie said, making shooing motions with her hands. "Go propose to that man of yours. I'm so excited I can't stand it. Call me tomorrow and let me know how it went."

Serena smiled so big Julie thought her mouth might crack. Now she knew what pure, unadulterated joy looked like.

"I will. Catch you later."

Serena got up and with a small wave disappeared down the hallway to the front door. Julie watched her go with a peculiar twist in her chest. There went one happy woman.

Chapter 22

Serena smiled at Sam when he opened the back door for her. She leaned up and kissed the startled man on the cheek and all but flew to the front door.

She burst into the living room expecting to find Damon sitting in front of the fire with his book and a glass of wine, but to her disappointment the room was empty. She quickly weighed her options. He could be in his office, but if that was the case she didn't want to interrupt work with what she hoped to be a special moment. Or he could be up in the bedroom, which offered a whole host of possibilities.

She turned eagerly, only to see Sam walk into the living room.

"Miss James, you left the car so quickly I didn't have time to inform you that Mr. Roche is on the terrace. He wished you to join him when you returned."

"Thank you, Sam," she said as she whirled and hurried toward the glass doors.

Her heart was beating like a freight train. She was breathless, scared, but happy. So very happy.

She came to a halt on the stone patio when she saw Damon sitting at the circular glass table several feet away. In her haste, she'd forgotten to shed her shoes, and she kicked them off now, enjoying the warm concrete under her feet.

He was staring into the gardens, a glass of wine held idly in his hand. He looked contented, a man sure of his place in the world. And now, finally, she knew
her
place in the world. His world. It didn't matter where, as long as he was in it.

A ridiculous knot of nervous energy rolled in her stomach, squeezing until her breaths came out in little painful squeaks. Then he looked up and saw her.

She swallowed the huge lump in her throat when she saw his eyes soften with love. He had the most delicious brown eyes and they went positively liquid when he looked at her. She wanted to lock this moment away in time. If only she could stand here watching him look at her that way for the rest of her life, she would be happy.

"Serena mine," he murmured, holding his hand out to her.

She rushed forward, taking his hand and dropping to her knees beside his chair. She rubbed her face over his leg, closing her eyes as his fingers tangled in her hair.

"No, love, you're going to hurt your knees. The stone is too hard and rough for you out here."

She shook her head. Knees? What knees? All she could feel was his love, wrapping securely around her, holding her when she couldn't hold herself.

"Come here," he said quietly, pulling her into his lap.

When she was settled against his chest, he stroked her long hair from her face with gentle fingers.

"What's wrong, Serena?"

She expelled her breath in a quivering rush and smiled. "I love you. Do you know that, Damon? Do you know how much?"

He looked stunned by her announcement. His pupils flared, and his fingers stilled in her hair.

"I know. I hope I know." He pressed his lips to her forehead, and she could feel him trembling against her. "I love you too, Serena mine. So damn much, I ache."

She pulled away and caught his hand, pulling it from her hair to cradle it between her palms. For a moment she studied their entwined hands thinking of all the times she was bound to him, for him, only this time it was her doing the binding. She was in control.

When she looked back up at him, he was studying her with those deep brown eyes. Dropping his hand, she leaned forward, putting her palms against his face.

"Will you marry me, Damon? Will you be my husband and my lover for the rest of our lives?"

His eyes widened. First shock and then joy flooded them so warm and vibrant that tears clogged her throat, burning and squeezing. If she'd had any reservations, any concerns, they vanished as she saw his relief. Had he been so worried she wouldn't marry him?

"Yes," he said solemnly. "I'll marry you, Serena mine. Anytime, anywhere. I don't care as long as you'll be mine."

She brought her lips to his, kissing him hungrily. Then she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him fiercely, content to just hold on and feel his strength, and his love.

"I don't want to wait," she whispered against his neck.

"Then we won't wait," he said simply.

"I want to be yours."

"You're already mine, Serena. No ceremony or lack thereof will ever change that. You'll always,
always
be mine."

She smiled and squeezed him a little tighter. "We need to call your mom. And mine. She and Dad will want to fuss." She pulled away and sat up to look him in the face. "I don't want a fuss but I don't want to disappoint my mom either. Maybe we could compromise and keep it small, just friends and immediate family."

He cupped her cheek in his palm and smiled lovingly at her. "Do you know how happy you've just made me? Are you sure, Serena? You seemed to have doubts before. I want you to be sure this is what you want. I won't push you for more. You know that."

"I do know. Oh, Damon, I love you so much."

"It figures you would catch me so unprepared," he said ruefully. "The ring I've carried everywhere with me over the last weeks is sitting upstairs in the drawer of my dresser."

"We can get it later. All that matters right now is you and me." She squirmed with excitement on his lap. "I'm getting married. Holy hell, that's scary!"

He administered a light smack to her hip. "Marrying me should not be in the least bit scary. You should be swooning with joy."

She grinned. "Okay, I'll stand up and swoon but if you don't catch me, I'm going to kick your ass."

"I'd rather carry you upstairs, tie you to my bed and make love to you all afternoon long. Then maybe I'll let you up so we can call our families."

"And they say romance is dead," she murmured as she closed her mouth over his.

Somewhere between the melancholy and the ass kicking, Julie's self-disgust overpowered everything else. Which was good, because there was only so much wallowing she could take.

Yeah, Damon and Serena hit her hard, but they were Damon and Serena. Julie was . . . well, she was Julie. Looking at someone else's relationship for the answers was like reading about a romance novel hero and expecting to find a carbon copy in real life.

Smart women didn't do either. And above all, she was a smart woman.

After boiling in a bathtub for the better part of the afternoon, she applied fourteen different types of girly garb, painted her toenails, did all the waxing she could reach and went digging through her freezer for some Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream.

She needed a plan. She wasn't going to, in the words of Serena, allow the kicked puppy to take over. No, that wasn't her style. What would the real Julie do when confronted with Nathan's one-upsmanship?

She smiled around a spoonful of ice cream. The real Julie wouldn't get mad. She'd get even. And that posed all sorts of delectable possibilities.

Luring him in for another massage would never work. He'd see that one coming a mile away. Besides, she was nothing if not original. No, she wanted something bold. Something he'd never see coming in a million years. Something that gave her the upper hand.

Easier said than accomplished, however.

She sighed a little mournfully as she licked the sweetness from the spoon. The only thing that irked her about the entire experience—now that she knew who her mystery men were—was that she hadn't been able to look at Nathan and Micah, especially Nathan, while they were fucking her mindless.

A woman should never be blindfolded when making love to men who looked that good. That was her own stupidity, but then again, if she hadn't made that stipulation, Nathan wouldn't have seized his opportunity.

But still. She groaned as her body went all fiery again just thinking about Nathan's naked body lying over hers, his hips flexing, muscles bulging while he thrust. Even ice cream wasn't going to help this burn.

Micah was probably nice to look at too in the buff, but with Nathan in the room, she doubted she would have even seen Micah. Which was too bad, really. When a woman stopped noticing a good-looking man, she was either in love or struck blind. She was going with the latter, since lust didn't equal love in her world.

She let the spoon rest on her tongue as she stared dreamily into the distance. Nathan Tucker in her bed. Powerless. Hers to do with whatever the hell she wanted. Nathan Tucker
tied
to her bed. Oh hell yeah. Her girly parts were singing at the idea.

What she could do to a man who could do nothing but lie there and take it. Oh, she'd treat him very, very well. He'd enjoy his captivity before she turned him back into the wild.
Mreowl
Her chill bumps had chill bumps as she imagined all she could get away with if she had him completely at her mercy.

It would be the perfect payback. A man like him would chafe at being subdued by a little ole woman like her. He'd huff and snarl but in the end she'd bring him gently to heel. He'd be purring like a well-trained kitten by the time she finished pleasuring him.

She frowned as she dug back into the ice cream. As fantasies went, this one was stellar. But the execution. Now there was the deal breaker. How the hell was she going to get Nathan Tucker in her bed, naked
and
bound?

She could ask Faith for handcuffs—the good police-issue ones, because she didn't want the kind he could break out of in two seconds flat. Faith was a kinky bitch, and Gray was an ex-cop. They had to have a few lying around, didn't they? It still didn't answer the problem of how to get Nathan into them, however.