Matthew's Chance (12 page)

“If you were one of us, you would understand how important it is for me to take care of you. The more I … worry … over you, the more I’m able to push back my mating instincts.”

“You must be pretty fucking worried then. You’re a damn sight more lucid than I am right now.”

“I’m also worried about what will happen when I feel safe.” Ash’s voice had gone so low Matthew had to strain to hear it.

“Yeah?” Matthew whispered back. God, he hoped there was shelter ahead. The anxiety of the wait was getting to him, and the truth was, it wasn’t like Matthew hadn’t wanted Ash to fuck him for years. His fear had ebbed now that the fighting had stopped and he’d had time to calm down and remember that he knew people who’d gone through a heat with the wolves and not only survived but had chosen to stay with the wolves afterward.

“You don’t understand. I shouldn’t have—” Ash stared at Matthew, who waited, but Ash didn’t finish whatever he’d started to say.

“What is it?”

Ash released him abruptly. “I need to—” Ash turned and ran into the woods ahead, thrashing through the brush as he went, and Matthew just stood there and stared after him.

This whole situation had gone beyond anything Matthew understood of the wolves. His earlier anger flared bright and hot and he couldn’t have stopped himself from yelling if the alpha had been right on his tail.

“Make up your goddamn mind!” he yelled after Ash. “You either want to fuck me, or you don’t, you fucking wolf bastard!”

All he got in return was a roar, and it hadn’t come from Ash’s direction.

“Goddammit,” Matthew muttered furiously.

He ran after Ash, slapping aside the still waving branches, plowing into the rustling brush.

Ash didn’t appear ahead of him. Matthew stopped after a few minutes and turned, leaves crackling underfoot, briars catching and dragging at the legs of his jeans.

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit.” He felt like an idiot.

What the fuck had he been thinking to yell like that out here? After that stunt, if a wolf jumped out of the woods and attacked him, he deserved what he would get.

He swiped at the sweat tickling his face and neck.

“I hate you,” he muttered. “I hate all of you sons of bitches right this minute. In fact, I hate goddamn people. I just want a nice place somewhere quie—”

A sound to his left made him snap his mouth shut and go completely still.

Slowly, he lowered himself to a squat, easing his hand down onto the soft ground for balance, and just listened. He knew holding his breath would backfire on him, so he didn’t bother, just tried to breathe quietly, easing the air in and out of his lungs slowly.

Another crack sounded nearby, like the quiet snap of a twig.

Matthew’s heart raced and he fought the urge to react.

A moment later a deer came into view through the branches of the thin brush, the large body crossing fast in front of him maybe twenty, twenty-five feet away.

Matthew sagged in relief, dropping to his knees. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Something touched the back of his neck, and Matthew yelped, swinging around with his fist already flying.

An arm blocked him. “Shh. It’s me.”

“Goddammit.” Matthew stared up at the man he knew as Ian, a friend of Brendan’s and mate to Ash’s alpha, Craig. Matthew opened his mouth to ask what the hell Ian was doing there, but Ian shushed him with a finger across his lips.

Matthew nodded.

Ian offered his hand and Matthew grasped Ian’s arm just above the wrist and pulled himself to his feet. Ian leaned close and whispered to Matthew, “We’ve got the drugs, they’re going to take Ash down and then we’re going back to the den.”

Matthew nodded again, even if inside his heart pounded wildly and he could feel a tremor start up in his hands. “Did you find the other alpha?”

“We have him. He’s okay, healing quickly because of the heat.” Ian’s clear gaze traveled over Matthew’s face, and then down his body. “You okay?”

Matthew huffed out a breath and rubbed at his forehead where his brow seemed permanently creased and pulled his injured hand in against his chest. “Not even a little okay,” he said, and he meant it. “I think I’m done.”

Ian’s eyebrows rose, but then a sound to their side from deeper into the woods caught his attention and Matthew followed Ian’s lead as Ian turned, holding up a slender device that looked like some of the wolves’ technology.

The alpha Matthew knew as Craig walked into view, slowly making his way through the undergrowth. “We have him.”

Craig hadn’t lowered his voice, and Ian answered, his own voice raised to normal levels. “Matthew’s injured.”

Craig stayed back from both Matthew and Ian. His gaze flickered over Matthew. “
Ashikid
contacted us before the renegade attack and told us what had happened to you. I’m sorry we couldn’t come for you sooner.”

Craig gestured to Ian, gave Matthew one last glance, then turned and started making his way back through the brush.

Ian started to follow, but then hesitated. “You need me to help you walk?”

Matthew shook his head. “Ash is okay, right?”

“He’ll be fine.”

Ian pushed through the brush slowly, picking his way more carefully than necessary, and Craig stopped to wait on them to catch up, and from the way Ian looked over at Matthew, Matthew knew the pace had been set for his benefit, as if they thought Matthew would fall behind if they didn’t take it easy on him. They were probably right.

“The drugs will help,” Ian said. “Craig brought along someone to act as his heat mate once we get to the den.”

Matthew stopped beside a scraggly pine that stood out in the midst of all the oak trees, letting one of the branches slap him on the arm. The sting faded almost as fast as it hit. “He doesn’t need another heat mate. I can help him.”

Alpha Craig must have heard him, because he stopped again and looked over his shoulder, eyeing Matthew with his cool gaze. “That’s not necessary.”

Ian patted Matthew on the shoulder and urged him on. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t have to,” Matthew said. “But it’ll be easier this way. He’s already claimed me for a heat mate. Just fix my hand and then lock us in a room together.” Matthew thrust aside the limb in his path and resumed walking. “For God’s sake, I need a good hard fuck from someone I actually like anyway. I’ve been so goddamn lonely I’ve started fucking the enemy to keep from going crazy.”

Ian gave Matthew a look he couldn’t decipher and then exchanged a look with Alpha Craig that was just as obscure. What the hell was going on?

“If you want to accept
Ashikid
’s claim on you, I won’t interfere,” Alpha Craig said. “But you should know that the drugs aren’t going to be very effective and he could be … difficult after challenging Alpha
Paetarikeille
—”

“Rick,” Ian cut in.

Craig’s lips pulled back in a show of teeth that struck Matthew as weirdly humorous. “Alpha Rick,” he corrected. “He challenged an alpha for you and survived. He probably won’t want to let you go after heat season.”

“He’ll let me go,” Matthew said, the burn of anger rekindling in his gut. “He’s already told me that much. We’ll be heat mates, that’s all.”

Craig studied him for a moment longer. “Remarkable,” Craig said, a thoughtful cadence behind the accented word. But then he turned away and began walking again before Matthew could ask what the hell that was supposed to mean.

“Unbelievable couple of days,” Ian said, gaze flickering over Matthew, a contemplative look in his eyes.

Matthew didn’t respond, merely hiked along beside Ian. He was too busy asking himself why the hell he hadn’t just let them find Ash someone else to fuck for the next few weeks so he could leave the wolves to their goddamn heat and find himself that quiet place somewhere where he wouldn’t have to talk to anyone for the rest of his fucking life if he didn’t want to.

But the question was rhetorical, because he already knew why he hadn’t done it and it had very little to do with wanting a good hard fuck from someone he liked for a change.

He’d liked Sal just fine.

But he hadn’t loved him.

Ash’s warm brown eyes were so glassy Matthew would have said Ash was drunk if he’d been human. Several of Craig’s wolves’ helped Ash into the small ship that reminded Matthew of the one he, Ash, and Ian had used to get Brendan back to Earth from one of the wolves’ big ships three years ago. Matthew had not had the opportunity to ride inside one of the rarely used ships since.

He assumed the only reason he was riding in one now was because of the renegade attack and heat season.

Craig didn’t allow Ian or him to enter the ship until the wolves had placed Ash inside and taken up positions in a separate section of the ship.

Ash sat in the middle of the ship. Matthew didn’t bother asking where he was supposed to sit. He fell into the seat next to Ash, who roused, nostrils flaring wide and eyes snapping open, while the straps holding him to his seat pulled taut over his chest.

Ash’s hand landed with a sudden weight high on Matthew’s thigh, his fingers clenching tight, his claws pricking through the fabric of Matthew’s jeans. Matthew winced and covered Ash’s hand with his own, and the claws slid back under the dark material of Ash’s fingernails.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Ash spoke in the wolves’ language, and his words came slowly, carefully, not quite slurred.

Matthew caught Ian’s gaze as Ian sat down as far from Matthew and Ash as their section of the ship allowed, at a right angle to the seats Matthew and Ash occupied.

“What’s wrong with him?” Matthew asked.

“He’s drugged,” Ian said. “Heavily. The stuff wears off too quick when they’re healing from injuries, and—well, it’s a tight fit in here.”

“He’s a danger to both of you,” Craig said, taking a seat beside Ian.

Almost immediately, Craig dropped his head to Ian’s shoulder and buried his face in the crease of Ian’s neck and shoulder, breathing in deeply through his nose and mouth.

The bright light made Matthew’s tired eyes burn but he could still see the sheen of sweat on Craig’s face and neck. Alpha Craig had mated Ian during the last heat season. That had really been the beginning of what had led to Matthew meeting Ash. He’d hardly known Ian at the time. He still didn’t know him much better; they weren’t friends and they never had been, even though Ian had been partially responsible for Matthew agreeing to work with the wolves.

Ian reached over and rubbed the back of Craig’s head before he strapped himself in. He waved his hand at Matthew’s torso. “This is going to be a quick trip. We’ll send someone to recover the bullet you hid once we’re back at the den.”

Matthew took the hint and strapped himself in, then exhaled and let his head fall back on the seat. Fatigue had settled bone deep, and he drifted in and out as the ship departed for the wolves’ main den complex.

He woke up once to see a strange mask in his face, but it was a wolf and he said, “Shh. This won’t hurt.”

Matthew fell asleep in earnest after that, and when he woke, he was in the middle of a low bed covered in pillows, wearing the same filthy pants he’d been in when he got on the ship, chest covered in dried blood and his broken hand freshly bandaged from fingertips to wrist with a clear tape that allowed him to see the thin cuts beneath. Sunlight streamed down on him from a wide window above the bed, the thick metalwork covering the glass casting sharp shadows across the bed and floor.

He rolled over and then sat slowly on the edge of the low bed.

A knock came from the door across the room—possibly what had woken him. He yawned, and then called out, “Come in.”

The door opened, and Matthew blinked as Gerald came through the doorway.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Matthew asked.

“Lane wanted me to deliver a message without going through the usual channels,” Gerald said. “I volunteered. Heat season started before I could get out.”

Gerald’s ex-brother-in-law worked for the States’ anti-renegade department. Matthew didn’t know the whole story, but Gerald had somehow become a go-between for Alpha Craig’s pack and his ex-brother-in-law.

Wolves usually met humans well outside the den complex because of how much security the permanent den required. If Gerald had been inside or near the den when the wolves’ heat season began, it made sense that he wouldn’t have been allowed to leave.

“You’re volunteering for a lot of shit these days, aren’t you?”

Gerald’s eyebrows drew together.

“Never mind,” Matthew said. He scratched at his chest where dried blood pulled his hair every time he moved his arm. “Where am I? Where’s Ash?”

“He’s with his pack. Someone’s coming for you after you clean up and eat. I’m supposed to ask if you’re okay or if you’ve changed your mind?”

Gerald’s gaze skimmed over Matthew’s chest, down to his dirt-coated knees where his gaze lingered for a moment—possibly not on his knees but Matthew didn’t care—and then back to Matthew’s face. “How’s the hand?”

Gerald was a few years older than him, but he liked Gerald, most of the time.

Matthew twisted his wrist and flexed his fingers. No pain, and he had his flexibility back. “Not bad. And no I haven’t changed my—” But a yawn interrupted him before he could finish what he’d been saying.

“Unbelievable,” Gerald said. “I watched them break every bone in your hand.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Gerald grinned. “I almost threw up.”

Matthew snorted a laugh.

“I fucked a wolf through his heat last season. I was scared out of my mind, but it turned out to be the most intense fuck I’ve ever had. I’d do it again if I was sure I wasn’t going to get stuck with one of them.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Gerald shrugged. “Someone said you were going to be that Ash wolf’s heat mate or something. Thought you might want someone to commiserate with.”

“Commiserate?”

“You don’t want to end up in some permanent mating with one of them, do you?”

“Not really.” Except for Ash. He’d let Ash claim him without a second thought, but of course he wasn’t going to tell Gerald that. He wasn’t going to tell anybody that.