Matthew's Chance (7 page)

“They beat the shit out of you and left you for dead!” Sal’s voice rose and he jerked his hand toward Matthew. “And now you look like nothing happened at all except for that hand. I’m such a goddamn idiot.”

The wolf’s head swung back toward Sal. “You were there?”

Sal hesitated, then said, “I didn’t touch him.” His gaze caught Matthew’s, his intent clear. He wanted Matthew to back him up.

Matthew wished he could see better in the dim light, but he nodded and said, “He tried to stop them.”

“You’ll tell us everything, but later,” the wolf said to Matthew. Then he turned his attention back to Sal.

“What should I do with you?” the wolf asked Sal. “The woods aren’t safe enough for me to release you this deep into our territory.”

“Let me go,” Sal said, voice tight. “I can make it to safety. The county shelter isn’t too far away.”

“The closest county shelter is more than two days on foot from here. Is someone waiting for you inside our territory?”

Sal didn’t move more than an inch. “No.”

The wolf stilled. He glanced back at Matthew before returning his gaze to Sal. “Of course there is, but that’s a discussion for later. I can’t release you. There are other wolves in these woods. Wolves who are in league with your renegades and who would not hesitate to take what they believe it’s their right to take.” The wolf glanced at Watcher. “Isn’t that right, watcher?”

Watcher’s unwavering gaze never left Sal. “Yes,” he said, voice deep and dark with some emotion that chilled Matthew to his core.

Sal jerked against the wolf holding him. “Kill me then, because there’s no other way you’re keeping me here.”

“I think not,” the wolf said, making a careful gesture at the wolf holding Sal.

That wolf nodded and then pulled something out of his pocket one-handed and used his thumb to snap the top off while another wolf stepped up and took hold of Sal’s forearm, holding it with little effort against Sal’s increasingly panicked struggles.

“Stop!” Sal yelled. “No, goddammit. No!” Sal’s boot skidded on the floor under him, but he couldn’t break free.

The cap clattered to the floor, and the wolf pressed the item against Sal’s forearm.

Sal said, “No, no, no.” This time the words came without heat, slurring at the end.

Sal raised stricken eyes to Matthew, and Matthew had to harden his heart against the betrayal there.

He had never offered Sal anything but companionship in the dark of night these last few months, and he hadn’t expected anything in return.

Sal wasn’t a bad guy as far as Matthew knew, but he didn’t know Sal any better than he knew Gage or any of the other guys he’d joined up with. So he’d had sex with Sal. He’d had sex with other people too. He would be twenty-three his next birthday. No one could expect him to spend three years of his life celibate, no matter who he was spending most of his time with.

Full dark had almost arrived, and the cabin seemed full of wolves with faintly glowing eyes. Out under the moonlight, their eyes would be twice as bright, but in here, the glow seemed softer, not quite so startlingly bright.

Feet shuffled and the wolf holding Sal caught Sal as he stumbled.

“What did you drug him with?” Matthew asked, unable to hold the question in any longer.

“Something that won’t hurt him but will make him easy to control.”

“You shouldn’t have done that. You could have tied him up or something. This is—” But Matthew stopped himself from arguing further.

The wolf raised his hand and gestured for Matthew to step closer.

Matthew hesitated for a fraction of a second too long and he saw the wolf’s shoulders tighten. He glanced at Ash again, but the shadows hid Ash’s expression, leaving only his glowing eyes easily visible in his face.

Matthew walked up to the wolf who seemed very much to be in charge.

The wolf sniffed and his eyes seemed to brighten. Matthew’s stomach clenched.

“The heat has started for many of my people, Matthew. Your … friend, he cannot submit. I could smell the fear on him. If the repression drugs fail for anyone here, his life could be in grave danger. What was done was done for his safety, and for the safety of everyone here. It takes only one of us succumbing to a lust craze to set off a chain reaction when a human with an attractive scent is near. Do you understand?”

Matthew swallowed over the tightening of his throat. When the wolf put it that way… Of course he understood.

Of course.

The wolf gave Matthew a thorough once over. “You are tired, and you need rest. We’ll stay here tonight so you don’t have to hike through the dark.” He gestured toward Ash, who stepped forward immediately. “
Ashikid
will see you to wherever you’re sleeping and watch over you. Show him the way.”

“Alright,” Matthew said. “I can do that.”

“What the hell?” Matthew said, shucking his shirt, all the while watching the shadow Ash made as he stood by the closed door of the bedroom Matthew had spent last night in. “I thought you were never going to get here.”

He started to reach for the button of his pants and then caught himself. He would be sleeping in his pants again tonight, although he would have preferred to strip down to his underwear simply for comfort. “Who the hell is that wolf who’s running things?”

“Alpha
Paetarikeille
.” The syllables of the alpha’s name got lost in Ash’s thick accent.

Matthew sighed. “I feel like I’ve met him before, but I can’t remember. He’s very, uh—” Matthew scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know. Intense.”

“First Alpha’s mate likes him.”

Matthew considered that for a second, then sat down on the edge of the bed and stretched back on his elbows, leaving his bare feet on the floor. “So Brendan trusts him?”

“I believe he does.” Ash’s glittering eyes tracked Matthew’s every movement.

Matthew had never understood how Ash could give so many signs of interest and yet … obviously have no interest in him whatsoever.

“What did you mean earlier? When you said I belonged to Brendan? You know that’s not how it is between us.”

Ash took longer to answer than Matthew expected. Clouds had rolled in and covered the moon, making the night dark and quiet. The wolves who had moved into the cabin weren’t noisy and Matthew could almost swear he heard the sound of Ash’s every breath.

“You’re his beta. First Alpha would understand if you wanted to show your submission to his mate.”

Matthew raised his eyebrows. “You mean he’d let Brendan have sex with me if that’s what Brendan wanted?” Matthew shook his head. “No chance. Brendan’s not interested.”

And of course Matthew wasn’t interested any longer either. That part of his life was over.

“He’s your alpha.”

“My alpha?” Matthew sat up and rubbed his hand over his shoulder, the scar there a soft ridge under his fingers, then dropped his arm to rest on his knee. “He’s not my alpha. He’s my friend.”

“But he is still your alpha, and he hasn’t released you from his care.” Ash shifted on his feet, and Matthew wished he could see as well in the dark as the wolves seemed capable of so he would know what was going on inside Ash’s head.

The wolves had tried to refine their learning technology over the last three years, but the fact remained that some words didn’t translate easily. Matthew had no doubt that was what was going on now.

“Brendan’s not my alpha.”

“Then who do you consider to be your alpha?”

“No one. I don’t have an alpha. Not like you mean.”

“Then like how?”

Matthew stared at Ash. “I do what I do because Brendan asked me to, because after I got to know you … and—and the others, I knew it was the right thing to do. Not because Brendan’s my alpha or my boss or anything else. I don’t even do it because he’s my friend. I do it because I want to.”

The shadowy outline of Ash’s head tilted. “I don’t understand. You submit to him. Everyone knows he’s your alpha.”

“Well, everyone’s wrong.” Matthew scuffed his foot along the floor and rubbed his hands over his thighs, careful of his injured hand. The soft scratch of fabric filled the silence. After a moment, he added, “I don’t have an alpha. I don’t want one. I’d rather be on my own.”

“You should have an alpha,” Ash said. He stepped closer to the bed. “Someone to protect you. Alpha
Craeigoer
would accept you.”

Matthew choked out a laugh. “I don’t need an alpha. I need a goddamn—”
Mate
, he would have said. He quickly stopped and let himself fall back on the bed, sighing heavily.

He’d taken to thinking about lovers as mates after spending too much time with Brendan and Fletcher and Ian and the other humans who now made their homes with the wolves. Sal had been a temporary mate, someone to stop the loneliness from eating a hole in his gut. He continued gruffly, “Never mind.”

“You’re tired.”

“Yeah, I’m tired.” He closed his eyes and rested his forearm over his face.

He heard Ash cross the small room. Hands landed heavy on Matthew’s thighs, and Matthew jerked, startled, throwing his arm to the side. “What—”

“You aren’t comfortable.” Ash moved his strong hands and grasped Matthew’s legs below the knees, dragging Matthew to the side, releasing him when he was fully stretched out on the mattress.

Matthew made a sound in the back of his throat. “I was just resting my eyes.”

“Now you can rest your body.”

“Where are you going to sleep?” Matthew stretched his arm up and tucked his forearm under his head, watching Ash as closely as he could in the dark. “Or are you?”

“I will, after a while.”

“Aren’t you worried that the one everybody calls Watcher is just going to kill us all the first chance he gets?”

“No.”

“Well, I sure as hell am.”

Ash stood silent for a moment, most likely contemplating why Matthew still didn’t understand wolves after three years, but—hell, Matthew had started to think he would probably never understand them.

“He swore his fealty.”

“And I’m running around with renegades determined to either run you off the planet or kill every last one of you. I don’t see why he couldn’t be attempting to do the same damn thing.”

“He would have been obligated to follow his alpha no matter what course his alpha chose. If the watcher has such deep concerns about his alpha’s course that he would sever that bond and swear fealty to another at the first opportunity then we must offer him sanctuary.”

“I hope to God he has something that makes it worth the trouble he caused me.”

“You agreed that he didn’t hurt you. If he did—”

“No, he didn’t, but I have something to show you and I can’t do it if we’re stuck helping this wolf with whatever shit he’s got himself into.”

Ash surprised Matthew by reaching out and taking Matthew’s wrist in hand. He turned Matthew’s arm, carefully. “I was worried about your safety after I received your message.”

Matthew had to clear his throat to speak. Ash’s claws felt close to extending against his skin and the tickle raised the hair on Matthew’s arm.

“I was worried about my safety too,” Matthew said. “Turns out for a good reason. Asshole’s back.”

Ash didn’t release his arm, which Matthew had half expected. “Who?”

“The guy that shot me.” Matthew indicated his shoulder with his other hand, tracing the scar that Jay’s bullet had left behind. “I was damn lucky he didn’t shoot me in the head. He wanted to.”

Ash’s fingers curved around Matthew’s flesh tightly, the smooth, warm touch stealing his ability to think quickly. The darkness intensified Matthew’s sense of touch and he could feel the pads of every one of Ash’s fingers pressing against his skin.

“You’re still so breakable. Not even our gift has eliminated the danger for you.”

“Nothing’s going to make what I’m doing safe.”

“It’s time for someone else to take up your task.”

“No. I’ve got it. I know what I’m doing.” Matthew wedged his elbow under him and rose up on the bed. The mattress trembled with the shift in weight. “There aren’t that many who would know how to fit in.”

“The human Gerald volunteered. There are others willing to help.”

Matthew’s eyebrows went up. “Gerald?” He paused, then, “What the hell does Gerald know about any of it? He’d be discovered within a day. He doesn’t have the faintest—”

“Matthew.”

Matthew blew out his breath slowly, forcing himself to calm down. “He shouldn’t do it.”

“Alpha wouldn’t allow it. But my point stands. There are others.”

Matthew swallowed back his further objections. What it came down to was that if he wasn’t doing this for the wolves, his only connection to any of them—Ash included—would be his friendship with Brendan. And that—it wasn’t enough.

He rubbed his hand over his face and tugged at Ash’s hold on his wrist. “I’m really tired. I should probably go on to sleep.”

Ash lowered Matthew’s arm carefully. “Rest then.”

Matthew dropped back to lie flat on the mattress again and closed his eyes.

He had just started to drift in the quiet despite the weirdness of Ash standing over him, when the weight of Ash’s hand came down on his thigh. Matthew forced his eyes open, even though he could hardly see anything in the dark anyway.

The glow of Ash’s eyes above him caught his unfocused gaze.

“Alpha
Paetarikeille
is a strong alpha,” Ash said. “If the drugs wear off and he’s compelled to mate you, I—” Ash paused and Matthew’s breath stuck in his lungs. Ash’s brilliant eyes disappeared for several seconds, before reappearing closer to Matthew’s face. Matthew could feel Ash’s breath on his cheek. “Will you submit to him?”

“I—” Matthew licked his bottom lip, trying to wake up enough to comprehend what Ash was asking him. He frowned. “Why would—the drugs seem to be working fine. No one acted like they were about to go crazy with lust for either me or Sal.” And then Matthew remembered Watcher’s strange behavior. “Well, maybe the watcher, but none of the rest of you.”

“We can never be sure how effective the drugs will be for any of us, but you shouldn’t worry about the watcher. I won’t let him claim you to mate. But you must be prepared for Alpha
Paetarikeille
. He’s strong—easily as strong as Alpha
Craeigoer
. You must submit if the drugs become ineffective and he can’t resist your human scent.” The warm weight of Ash’s other hand pressed against Matthew’s damaged hand again. “If you fight, your ability to heal won’t save you.”