Mating Instinct: A Moon Shifter Novel (11 page)

She savored the feel of his strong fingers running through her fur. They sat there so long she wondered if he’d continue. She wanted him to. Oh God, did she. When she’d been held captive she’d called out for him to save her so many times her throat had turned raw. After she’d been found naked in that barn, she’d been too ashamed to see or speak to him. She’d been humiliated enough and she hadn’t wanted to see pity in his eyes, so she’d avoided him as long as she could. It wasn’t as if he was the only one she’d been keeping at arm’s length though. She hadn’t told a soul what she’d gone through at the hands of that monster. Greg something. Odd that she couldn’t remember his last name. He’d been working for that bastard Adler, who was also dead now. But Adler had a boss, and if it was the last thing she did, she was going to find out who’d given the orders to kidnap her.

Finally Jayce continued, his words slicing through her thoughts. “I looked anywhere and everywhere I thought you might be. A couple times I found your scent but . . . it was no use.” His face was drawn so tight, so controlled, she knew he was using all of his enforcer strength to keep his emotions in check. “I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. After I let my wolf out, I was afraid I’d kill someone innocent, so this tree bore the brunt of my aggression.” His voice was strained, as if getting those few sentences out was difficult.

Her gut twisted as she sat there, listening to the erratic beat of his heart and trying to digest his words. Jayce didn’t talk much and never that much at once and never before with such emotion. What he’d just admitted to her . . . she didn’t know what to think of it or how to take it. He’d
searched
for her. She’d known it because December had told her, but to hear him admit it, to put so much raw emotion into those few words . . . it made her ache inside. When she’d called out for him he hadn’t been there, but he’d been looking. If he’d been able, he would have saved her. She hadn’t realized how much she’d needed to hear that from him until now.

She wanted to stay in her wolf form so she wouldn’t have to respond. But doing so made her feel too much like a coward.

Pulling back from his touch, she underwent the change. A rush of adrenaline overtook her as her bones broke and shifted back to her human form. Even though she’d been shifting for a little over a month, she didn’t think she’d ever get used to the sensation. Every time she came back out of it, it was like she’d been on another planet or something. The disorientation was short-lived, but it always jarred her.

Blinking, she tried to shake off the instant chill that came upon her. After the change she was more aware of the elements, even with her higher body temperature. Especially since she was naked. Kneeling on the ground, she tried to adjust to her surroundings. Before she could move, Jayce was wrapping his leather jacket around her.

Without thinking, she slipped her arms into the long sleeves and pulled it tight around her body. Then he snagged one arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap. Maybe she should have felt exposed, considering she wore no underwear or bra under his jacket, but in his arms she’d always felt safe. Now was no different.

She desperately wanted to say something, to respond to what he’d just told her. But she couldn’t find the words. When she’d been dying not so long ago, she’d held on to a mental picture of him. Of them, actually. They’d been in the ocean, entangled in each other’s arms and legs, and the outside world hadn’t existed. He’d told her he wasn’t a beach person, but she’d changed his mind when she showed him just how much fun the ocean could be. Her life had been so different then. Complicated, yes, but still so much easier. As much as she wanted to dwell on what Jayce had just said to her, she couldn’t allow herself to. His admission made her think about being tortured and dying and right now she couldn’t go down that road.

Her gaze drifted over his face in a lazy assessment. The deep scars crossing over his left eye were like a warning to anyone who thought they could mess with him. It took a lot to scar shifters—or so Kat had been told. Even though she and Jayce had shared so much with each other, he’d never told her about his scars.

Reaching up, she traced her index finger over one of the long-healed gashes. He shuddered under her touch. Not overtly, but since she was in his lap it was hard to miss. She also didn’t miss his very insistent erection pressing against her hip, but she chose to ignore it. For the moment.

“You never told me how you got these scars.”

One of his hands slid up her leg and rested lightly, mere inches from the hem of his jacket, which barely covered her upper thigh. His fingers tensed slightly as he spoke. “My brother gave them to me.”

She knew a little about his family history but not much. Just that his parents had died centuries ago and his younger brother had been missing for so long that Jayce wasn’t sure whether he was dead or not. “I thought you guys were close before he ran off.”

“We were, but he was angry and I let him take it out on me.” His voice was almost devoid of emotion.

“You
let
him?” Scarring someone to that extent—someone you loved, no less—seemed excessive even for a male shifter.

Jayce paused so long that Kat wondered if he would even answer, but he finally spoke. “Aldric’s mate had just been killed by a rogue coyote turned feral. She’d been pregnant and weak as a human, unable to defend herself. It was a massacre.” The last word was barely above a whisper.

Kat’s throat tightened with emotion at the pain she heard in his voice. His brother had been suffering, so Jayce had let Aldric hurt him. To the point where he’d allowed him to actually mutilate him, probably almost blind him. If it wasn’t for their ability to heal so quickly, Kat guessed that Jayce would have lost his eye.

She didn’t understand why he was opening up to her or even why he’d followed her out here. Maybe he sensed her vulnerability. Whatever the reason, too many emotions were swirling inside her. It was hard for her to remember the need to keep their relationship on a professional, even footing when he was letting his guard down in a way he never had before. And when his hand was inching up her thigh.

As she looked into gray eyes that made her feel things she didn’t want to feel, that dark scent she’d smelled earlier wrapped around her, stronger than before. She didn’t know what it was but her own lust spiked sharp and fast. Warmth spread through her lower abdomen to the aching between her legs.

Kat told herself to stop him. But God help her, she didn’t want to.

Chapter 7

J
ayce growled low in his throat at the rich scent Kat was throwing off. She always smelled like roses, but when she was turned on it was even more potent. He’d only come out here to talk to her. After the hurt look she’d given him in the barn, he hadn’t been able to stay away. Her expression tore at his heart. He didn’t like thinking he’d hurt her, even inadvertently.

Now she wasn’t feeling anything other than desire. He could scent it clearly on her. No pain, no anger, just want. His hand continued inching up her bare, creamy leg. Even if he wanted to stop—and he didn’t—he didn’t think he could get his body to obey him. Kat’s tantalizing scent was like a sweet siren’s song.

Luring him in. Taunting, teasing him. Reminding him of everything he’d once had and couldn’t have again. Maybe temporarily, but not permanently. He couldn’t have a place in her life forever, but for now . . . His hand stopped when her thighs clenched together, caging his hand between them and effectively stopping him inches from his destination.

Her breathing was ragged as she stared at him. There was a silent question in her eyes, one he couldn’t read and didn’t understand. Doing the only thing he hoped would relax her, he covered her mouth with his.

He intended to keep his kisses soft and tame, but the moment their lips touched it was impossible. In a frenzy he hungrily tangled his tongue with hers. The need to take her on the forest floor was damn near overwhelming, but Kat wasn’t ready for that. Hell, he didn’t think he was either. Just the thought of being inside her again after so long pushed at the threads of his control.

Before that happened, he had to taste her. He’d been fantasizing about it for too damn long not to indulge. When she’d left him she’d taken a piece of him with her.

Covering the short distance up her thigh, he cupped her mound with his hand. Soft and wet, she tensed under his touch, so he kept his hand immobile. Just savored the feel of the most delicate part of her body. A place he’d kissed and stroked too many times to count. He still had no clue what had happened to her in that barn or if she’d been raped—something he couldn’t and
wouldn’t
think about right now—but he knew he needed to go slow.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured against her mouth.

As they continued kissing, she gradually relaxed. Her body became pliant and her thighs loosened around his hand, spreading wider and giving him what he wanted. The pressure on his chest eased as she let her guard down with him. Slowly, he rubbed one finger along her wet folds.

Even though he could scent her arousal, to feel the slick proof of it made something primal inside him growl in satisfaction. She was turned on because of
him
. Not some random male.

She became bolder in her kisses, almost needier as her tongue invaded his mouth. The already strong rose scent she emanated completely surrounded him. When she started to shift positions, he froze and pulled his hand back. He couldn’t risk moving too fast and scaring her.

But she swiveled and straddled him in a fluid movement, making her intentions clear. “Touch me,” she murmured before pressing her lips to his once again.

Gladly.
Her wearing only his jacket and nothing else was probably the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Instead of resuming his stroking of her wet heat, he brought his hands up to her face. Threading his fingers through the mass of her long, dark hair, he cupped the back of her head with one hand. He slid his other hand under the jacket until he grasped her behind.

Her muscles clenched for a moment, but then she thrust forward until her pelvis ground against his. His entire body tensed at the feel of her long, lean body on top of him. His cock pressed painfully against his zipper, begging to be unleashed. He might have jeans on but she had no such barrier and every part of him was aware that all he had to do was free himself and he would be inside her tight sheath in seconds.

Moaning into their kisses, she began slowly riding him. More than anything, he wanted to tear away the barriers of their clothing, but he didn’t want to risk separating from her. For all he knew, she was lost in the moment, and he couldn’t bear to tear her out of it. All her body language said that she trusted herself with him and he had to show her that she could trust him. Implicitly. Some primal part of him craved it with frightening intensity.

Despite his clothing, the heat from between her legs was enough to scorch him. Unable to stop himself, he reached for the front of his jacket and drew it apart. The instant he palmed one of her breasts she arched into him. And that sweet scent of hers grew even stronger.

He’d been with her enough times to know it wouldn’t take much for her to climax. She was stimulating her clit each time she moved over his cock. That was something she used to do back when they’d first been together. Back before they’d actually had sex. In the beginning of their relationship when he hadn’t trusted himself with her.

As a human she’d been physically weaker, and her mere presence had gotten him hotter than any naked woman ever had. So they’d fooled around
a lot
. She’d been so sexual yet oddly innocent as they’d explored each other’s bodies. By the time he’d finally gotten inside her, it had been fucking heaven. When he eventually died, he was pretty sure heaven wasn’t somewhere he was headed—if heaven even existed at all. But with Kat, it was like he’d gotten a taste of it.

It was like . . . coming home.

That thought had struck him then, and it hit him even harder now. But he ignored it. Some primal part of him desperately needed her to climax. He hadn’t been able to save her before, but he could give her pleasure. Hopefully enough to make her forget her pain.

Tweaking her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, he pulled, but not too gently. The instant he did, she tore her mouth away from his and moaned. Still writhing over him, she blazed a trail of hot kisses down his jaw and neck until she nipped his shoulder through his shirt.

His cock jerked at the hungry action and he continued teasing her breast. With his extrasensory abilities he could hear her heart rate increasing. Each time she moved over him and each time he teased and rubbed one of her nipples, her heart rate ratcheted up in tune with her erratic breathing.

The sounds were like an erotic symphony, pounding out until finally she threw her head back and moaned his name. He grabbed her hips as she rode against him through her climax. Though he wanted to stroke her with his hands, to push his fingers deep inside her as her orgasm pulsed through her, he held back. If she’d been sexually assaulted, he was afraid he might trigger a memory. He couldn’t handle seeing pain on her face.

The sweet scent of her pleasure intoxicated him as much as the sounds she made. His hands itched to tug his zipper down, free himself, and plunge deep into her. Feel her tight walls clenching around him, milking him. His beast clawed to the surface, the most primitive part of him wanting out. He wanted to take her hard and fast and make up for months of celibacy. His body practically demanded it.

As if she read his thoughts—or more likely the way his body tensed—she froze. Still basking in her postcoital bliss, she blinked a couple times as she stared at him, as if trying to clear her head. But he could see the wariness creep into her eyes.

It grew each second that passed. Her hands loosened their death grip on his shoulders and she rocked back. Still straddling him, she put a few inches between them and yanked the jacket closed, covering herself. Though the distance was small, it might as well have been the Grand Canyon.

A slight tremor shook her and she looked almost like the proverbial deer caught in headlights as their gazes clashed. He saw regret in an instant.

His throat clenched at the thought that she felt any sort of remorse for what had just happened. He wanted to say something to soothe her, but was afraid that whatever words he chose would be the wrong ones. Some sort of battle was raging in her head right now and he couldn’t get a read on her emotions.

Too many scents swirled off her. Pleasure, wariness, and fear all vied to overtake each other.

“Kat,” he murmured, not sure what he planned to follow it up with. Whatever it was, he would never know.

Wordlessly she shoved off him and stripped off his jacket. He had only a moment to appreciate her smooth, toned skin before she shifted to her animal form and ran deep into the woods.

Away from the ranch and away from him.

He wasn’t sure what had just happened and he didn’t know how to make it right. If he went after her now, he’d be taking away what little control she had over this situation. That would only increase the chasm between them.

His inner wolf clawed and ripped at his insides, begging to be freed to run after his woman. But despite the loud voice in his head demanding that he follow her, he ignored it. For now he would leave the next move up to her.

* * *

Erin grasped the takeout bag she’d just brought from Big Earl’s Diner and quickened her pace. Not long after Jayce had run off during their training, she’d gotten a call asking if she could pick December up from her store. Liam had needed to meet with someone—more real estate stuff. Considering how much Liam had been running around lately, she had a feeling that Connor was buying up all sorts of interesting property.

She could have asked someone else to head to town, but she knew that the reason Liam had asked her was because December felt more comfortable around her. Hell, she hadn’t even had time to shower since her workout with Jayce, so she was more than ready to get home and clean up. But December had been craving a Greek salad, and since that was one of the few things the pregnant shifter could keep down, Erin had had no problem getting it for her. Well, she hadn’t wanted to leave the store, but it would have taken forty-five minutes for them to deliver, which was silly when she could just jog the few blocks and get it.

Plus December had been running her end-of-the-day reports and had promised to keep her door locked. Twinkle lights adorned a lot of the streetlamps, giving downtown Fontana a winter-wonderland kind of feel. As Erin hurried down the sidewalk she blinked when she realized that December was standing
outside
the store, her purse held defensively against her chest as a taller woman with dark brown, unkempt frizzy hair stood in front of her.

What the hell?

Setting the takeout bag next to a lamppost, Erin stepped off the sidewalk and ducked behind one of the few cars. Quickly, she crept behind the next couple of cars until she came up behind the woman. She could hear the conversation clearly and wanted to strangle the stranger for upsetting December. Before she could make a move, December shot her an almost imperceptible look that told her to back the hell off.

Okay then.
Erin unzipped her jacket—she’d had to strap her blades to her chest instead of leaving them hooked to her belt—and slowly removed one blade. She would hold off for now, but if this woman made one wrong move, it was on.

“You need to get out of this relationship while you can. What were you thinking, marrying one of those animals?” the stranger hissed.

A low growl emanated from December, taking Erin by surprise as she held her position barely a few feet behind the unaware woman. “That
animal
is not only my husband but my mate and I’m carrying our child. Also what you would consider an
animal
. You need to back the hell off right now.” Her voice was deadly calm. Another surprise.

Erin was livid just hearing the stranger’s hateful words.

The woman held out a hand, but December immediately took a step back. “Don’t touch me.”

“I just hate what you’re doing to yourself. To your brother. You used to be such a respectable girl. Always volunteering at the literacy center. Always going to church.”

“I still do those things,” December said.

“If you’d just listen to me.” She reached into her purse and Erin tensed, ready to spring, but the stranger pulled out what looked like a flyer and shoved it in December’s direction. “This is a place for people like you to meet and talk about what’s been done to you.”

December flicked a glance at the paper, then back at the woman. “
Done
to me?”

“You know, the brainwashing.”

Erin couldn’t help it. A bark of laughter escaped and she had to force herself not to double over clutching her stomach. Liam might have
done
a lot of things to December—none of which Erin wanted to know about—but brainwashing wasn’t one of them.

The stranger whirled around and gasped as the paper fell from her hand, silently fluttering to the icy sidewalk.

Erin took a menacing step forward and grinned when the woman noticed her blade. “Get the fuck out of here and don’t come back. If I see you anywhere near this store or December again, I’ll do a lot more than
brainwash
you.”

The stench of fear that spiked off the woman was so potent it almost made Erin gag. Without another word the stranger sprinted down the sidewalk, throwing a few fearful glances over her shoulder until she disappeared around a corner.

December groaned once they were alone. “You probably made things worse.”

Erin shrugged as she sheathed her blade and zipped her jacket. “Whatever. I wasn’t actually going to hurt her, but if that fucking lunatic actually believes you’ve been brainwashed, then nothing I say will make a difference. Who was she?”

December’s lips pulled into a thin line, but she didn’t answer.

Realizing why, Erin rolled her eyes. “What, you think I’ll go after her?”

A grin tugged at December’s lips as she let out a sigh. “You’re hard to read and you get the same angry look Liam does when he’s being unpredictable. . . . Her name is Mary Katze and she’s definitely harmless. A little nutty, yes, but I’m not worried about her. She lives with a bunch of cats and doesn’t seem to have a solid grasp on reality.”

“Why were you standing
outside
with her? You promised—”

December threw her hands up and Erin felt a little bad about harassing her; she was pregnant, after all. “I know! I hadn’t planned to open the door, but she kept knocking insistently and it felt rude when she could clearly see me inside. Up until recently she’s been a very loyal customer.”