Marry Me Again (The Second Chance Love Series, Book 1) (26 page)

"Do you really not know?" He stared at her for the longest time, then shook his head and laughed, sadly. "Did you think I just wanted to get you into bed with me again? Did you think this was about my ego or something?"

"I..." She was afraid to answer him, afraid to have him answer her. "I just don't know."

He cursed and got to his feet, the tension pushing him to move, anywhere. He raked his hand back through his hair, then stopped by the window to lean against the casing and stare out at the coming day.

"I know you're not ready for this, Rebecca, and I've tried to wait, but you know patience has never been one of my virtues." He walked back to the bed.

She felt it give beneath his weight as he sat down beside her, facing her.

"Rebecca?"

Her eyes came up to meet his, and she had a desperate urge to flee from the intense look in his eyes. He'd already turned her world upside down. What more could he possibly do?

"I must be doing this badly if you have no idea. You don't, do you?"

She shook her head in wonder.

He tilted his head to the right and moved in slowly, settling his lips over hers in a slow, sweet, unnerving kiss.

"I want you to be my wife again."

Chapter 15

She sat in the bed where he'd proven to her, beyond the shadow of a doubt, all night long, that she still had feelings for him.

Denying it would do her no good.

But
marriage?

Marriage?

Something had warned her, before he spoke, to brace herself, to prepare for something. But she'd never dreamed—not this. She never would have believed he could want to be married to her again.

And, yes, she had entertained thoughts that his whole pursuit of her had a lot to do with his ego, maybe a little curiosity, a little bit of for-old-times'-sake thrown in. Maybe even just wanting to get back at Brian or at her for the years she'd spent with Brian.

But she'd never imagined this.

She'd feared that Tucker would turn her life upside down—and he already had—but she'd also been sure that things would get back to normal sooner or later. He would mostly be gone, and she would pick up the pieces of her life.

Again.

If she could this time.

But then he'd been so good with Sammy, seemed so committed to being a father, and he'd moved back to Tallahassee.

Still...
marriage?

"Tucker, I'd never interfere with your relationship with Sammy, if that's what you're worried about. We don't have to be married to be a family for him."

"I know."

"Sammy understands that. I know he's upset right now, but he—"

"It's not about Sammy," he said, watching her every move. "It's about us."

"No..." She shook her head in wonder.

"I love you, Rebecca. I'm not sure if I even knew what the words meant the first time I said them to you, all those years ago, but I do now. I know so much more now than I did then."

He went still. His jaw was rigid and his eyes were so bright, so intense.

"You still feel something for me. I know you do. I can feel it every time I touch you."

His trump card.
And there was nothing she could say to it.

She felt it every time he touched her, and she couldn't hide it from him.

"I'm not the man I used to be, Rebecca."

"I know that."

He smiled like a man who knew he was gaining ground with her all the time.

"I won't hurt you this time, Rebecca. I'll cherish you. I'll be thankful for every day we have together."

She wanted to plead with him to stop. She wanted to run from him, or turn back the clock to the time when she hadn't heard from him in years.

"Oh, Tucker."

"I've been lonely, Rebecca. Empty. You've felt it, too. You told me so."

She closed her eyes. She remembered the loneliness, remembered the day she'd faced the idea of spending the rest of her life alone, just her and Sammy. The day she'd said goodbye to the idea of having more children and having the kind of family she'd dreamed of when she was a little girl.

It wasn't going to happen. It hadn't when she was married to Tucker, and it hadn't in all those years of trying to build a life with Brian.

But to try again with Tucker?

God, it scared her to death just thinking about it.

"I—Tucker. I couldn't make it through losing you again. "

Rebecca wished she could pull the words back inside her. She'd given him a powerful weapon over her—knowledge of her greatest fear—that she'd fall in love with him all over again and then lose him again.

Rebecca waited, holding her breath, to see what he could possibly do next. She wondered why it had to be him who made her feel this way.

He fished around in the pocket of his jeans. A flash of light brought her head up, and she saw something in his hand.

No, on his thumb.

A ring, perched on the tip of his thumb, catching the light shining in the window, leaving her speechless, paralyzed with fear.

She opened her mouth, struggling with her words.

"Don't say anything. Not yet," he said, hushing her with a finger against her lips. "I know you don't love me anymore, but you feel something for me. And maybe in time you could come to love me again."

Which was exactly what scared her to death.

She watched in shock as Tucker took advantage of the element of surprise. It shouldn't have surprised her, because Tucker made full use of any advantage he ever had. He slipped that big diamond on her finger, covering up the white band of skin, and held it there, while she longed to tear it off as fast as she could.

"Take your time, Rebecca. Just think about it." He kissed her palm, and she felt the touch jet through her entire body. "We can make it work this time. I know we can, if you'll just give us a chance."

Then he scooped his shirt up off the floor and left.

She couldn't believe he just left, right then, in the middle of this.

Left her with his ring on her finger.

She jerked it off, hurting her finger in the process. She sat there, naked in her bed, staring at the ring he'd left behind, more confused than ever before.

* * *

"Rebecca?" her mother said.

"Mmmm?" Rebecca quit fidgeting with her tea bag and set it aside.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong? Or do I have to guess?"

Rebecca heaped sugar into her tea. She was sleepy and still in shock over what had happened the night before, over everything that had happened since Tucker came back. And she'd been desperately trying to hang onto her anger with her mother over her part in bringing Tucker back. But Rebecca really wasn't very good at being mad at her mother. Plus, she had to talk to someone about the night before, and she picked her mother, who'd always liked Tucker. She'd been angry at him for hurting Rebecca and for leaving her and Sammy, but her mother had also played a part in bringing Tucker back to them.

"Well," her mother said, "if I had to guess, I'd say it's Tucker."

"Of course," Rebecca said as she stirred her tea and took a sip.

She felt like laughing at what she was about to say, except it wasn't funny. And she had this sinking feeling that if she started laughing, she might never be able to stop.

"I think," she said, fighting the hysteria, "that Tucker thinks we're engaged."

Her mother didn't get ruffled, not ever. Hurricanes, tornadoes, fires, floods—Rebecca would bet that her mother could come through them all without so much as breaking a nail or messing up her hair. Not that her mother was cold or unfeeling or any of those things. She wasn't. She just put an inordinate amount of importance on her ability to maintain her composure.

It held—even now—and Rebecca once again wished she could be a little bit more like her mother. Composure was a quality she valued greatly at the moment.

"Mother?" she said when she could stand it no more. "Say something."

Her mother refused to be hurried in pondering the question. "You're afraid he thinks you're engaged?" she finally said.

Rebecca nodded.

"Oh," her mother said. "It seems like that would have to be a mutual decision—an engagement."

"Not where Tucker's concerned."

Rebecca couldn't help it anymore. She started to laugh, a sound that frightened her.

She was living on the edge, and she wanted to get off.

Her mother laid a hand on Rebecca's arm—no doubt hoping to be a steadying influence.

"Then, I wonder what you did to make him think the two of you might be engaged."

Pictures of the night they'd spent together flashed by in front of her closed eyes. The sounds, the scent, the heat.

Rebecca heard his fierce declaration of love, his tender promise that he would never hurt her again, his plea for another chance.

And she could still see the ring—its light brilliant as it glittered in the morning sunshine coming in her bedroom window.

"I never said I'd marry him," she protested, then dangerously near her breaking point, laughed again. It sounded so ridiculous, even to her. But there it was. That was what had happened. "He just left before I had a chance to tell him that I wouldn't."

"Rebecca—"

"I know," she cried. "It's crazy—I'm crazy! He makes me crazy."

She looked up at her mother. Rebecca wasn't a little girl who came running to her mother every time something was bothering her. She was a grown woman with a son, a career and a perfectly manageable life until very recently. Yet here she was, feeling like she was twelve and the world was crashing down around her. This was what he'd done to her.

"What am I going to do, Mom?"

Her mother smiled, so serenely. "Tucker wants to marry you again."

Rebecca nodded.

"And Sammy?"

"Has come to love his father very much."

As she sipped her tea, Margaret said, "Tucker doesn't give up. If he intends to be a real father to Sammy, which I believe he does, and he wants to marry you again, he won't give up—not ever. He doesn't know how to quit when there's something he wants. When he left you and Sammy, I don't think he realized how much he needed you both, how much he loved you. He knows what he lost now. He knows what the two of you mean to him."

Rebecca dropped her head into her trembling hands for a moment, then clasped her fingers together in front of her face.

She'd already concluded the exact same thing. It was the reason her panic was so great. He wouldn't give up. He wouldn't go away.

And eventually, she would betray herself.

Because despite all that had happened and all the many ways they'd hurt each other, she still wanted him in two very important ways.

She wanted him for Sammy, for the family that they could be, the one they should have been all along.

And she wanted him for herself, for that mysterious, hidden, feminine side of her that she'd thought had died—the one he'd so miraculously revived. That part of her wanted him desperately.

It was just her heart and her brain that were holding out. Just those two little parts that remembered all too vividly what he'd done to her before.

So there she was, at war with herself and unable to see any resolution to it—trapped as neatly as she'd been nine years ago when faced with a gorgeous, determined, sinfully sexy man who'd decided he couldn't live without her—at least not at that moment.

"Mother, do you think a person can change that much?"

The hand was back on her arm, holding on tight, giving a squeeze of reassurance.

"Yes. Not that it's easy, but it is possible. And I think that it takes some people much longer than others to figure out what's truly important to them. Still, it doesn't matter what I think, Rebecca. What do you think? Do you believe that a person can change that much?"