Marked for Vengeance (14 page)

Interrupting
her moment of reflection, a menacing growl roared from the pit of her stomach.
Her insides rolled with hunger.
When was the last time I ate? Yesterday at
lunch?
 She hadn’t been to the store since the week before, so her only
options at the apartment were a cup of yogurt and some mustard.
The pub down
the street it is
. She wasn’t entirely fond of the place, with its heady
aroma of stale cigarettes and fried food that fused with her hair and clothes,
but it was the closest restaurant to her apartment. 

She
made her way to the bedroom to throw on some decent clothing, and on the way
there, grabbed her cell phone to see if anyone had sent a text. Surely Benjamin
and Cindra grew impatient with her absence. Her head cocked as she stared at
the empty, telling screen. Nobody bothered to send another text, even a chiding
one. Their silence portrayed their annoyance more than their words ever could
have anyway. She pulled up a new message.
Hey, girl, sorry for not responding.
I’m having a rough time with this flu. Will be out the rest of the week, call
me later. 
She pressed “Send” and closed her eyes.
I wish I could talk
to you about everything.

She
went back to her inbox and opened the message from Benjamin he had sent the day
before. She pressed “Respond” and bit her lip as she stared dismally at the
blank screen, pondering what to type.
I guess there’s no good way to put
this. I’ll just have to be honest
. Her fingers brushed carefully over each
key.
Sorry about the hiatus. We need to talk, but not over the phone. Let’s
get together tonight. Let me know.  
She shut the phone and held it to her
chest.
This is the right thing.

Almost
immediately, her phone beeped, and she held her breath. She presumed that either
Cindra sent a sarcastic response to her apology, or Benjamin sent an irritated
one to her ominous message. With her lips pressed together, she opened the phone.

Benjamin.

So
you finally decide to respond to me, huh? WTF is going on? I ask you to move in
and then you disappear for two days. I would say that yes, we need to talk. I
can’t tonight, though, about to go into surgery. I will call in the morning,
but please answer this time
…
unless that’s too much to ask.

Her
stomach sank to her feet; she hadn’t experienced his callous side before.
I suppose
I deserve that,
she thought, tossing the phone onto the bed, and rummaged
through her drawers for some clean clothes.

She slathered
on her favorite vanilla-scented body lotion and slipped into a pair of jeans
and a sweater as easily as she could to keep from agitating her shoulder. She
pulled her hair into a loose pony tail, allowing wispy bangs to frame her face
and conceal the tiny scrapes. After dressing, she slipped on her boots, grabbed
her purse, and headed for the door.

When
she arrived at the bottom step of the complex stairs, she peered up at the sky.
The grey clouds looked close to splitting open for a downpour, but she would
continue on to brave the imminent rain. Her stomach had eaten a hole in itself
at this point.

She
took a right off of the stairs and made her way toward the pub one block down.
Chicken fingers and fries sounded
fantastic
. As she waited for the
signal to cross the street, a shock jolted through her as a wonderfully
familiar, but unwelcome Irish voice rang through the air. “Hey! Wait up!”

Isaac?!

She
wanted to break off in a sprint, but her feet stayed firmly planted. She
couldn’t help but wait for him as he ran to her.

Within
half of a second, he appeared in front of her. A gush of wind carried the scent
of his soap and fabric softener, which had a sweet, clean smell, like an apple
orchard on an early summer morning. “Alyx!” he said hoarsely as he rested his
hands on his knees to catch his breath.

He
knows my NAME!?
The shock of seeing him again had officially turned to abject horror.

After
a few heaving gasps, his back straightened, and as soon as their eyes met he
threw his hands between them to plead for her not to run away.  Her wide eyes
and gaping mouth must have accurately depicted her emotions. “Please, don’t
freak out! I’m sorry! I just needed to find you,” he said.

The
notion endeared her -- he
needed
to find her -- but it wouldn’t make up
for the fact that this was one more notch on her growing checklist of
prohibited encounters. She considered moving her frozen feet again to continue
through the crosswalk, but his fervency in finding her spoke for itself; his
persistence would continue until she satiated his curiosity. Or extinguished it,
rather. This was her one chance to squash his interest in her for good and
ensure this never happened again. The mistakes she had made brought her to this
point – he already knew her name and where she lived. She didn’t see any harm
in at least talking to him. The only thing she could control now was not to let
it get any further than a conversation, and that was exactly what she intended
to do. But how would she begin to break it to him that his search for her would
end with no reward? By the way he searched her face with eager eyes, she knew that
he wanted more from her than friendly banter.

When
her horrified expression melted away, he moved in closer, her heart fluttering
as the distance between them shortened. To stay focused, she ran through the
scenarios in her mind. Should she act offended that he tracked her down? Should
she break the tension and say something funny?
Maybe I should keep it
serious.
“So you decided to track me down, huh? I’d like to know how you
pulled that off.”

He released
a heavy sigh to shake the rest of his exhaustion from running -- and possibly
his nerves from overcoming him in its stead – and removed his glove. “Let’s
start this the right way today. Nice to see you again,” he said, extending a
paint-stained hand.

She
cautiously extended hers in return and slid her palm over his. The corner of
his mouth drew into a crooked smile as he shook it, his eyes searching, hungry.
She attempted to remain poised, but every nerve in her hand came alive as their
skin met for the first time, and her heart’s fluttering heightened as he
pierced it yet again. She never thought it possible, but her desire grew more
ferocious than she ever anticipated, the shear size of it practically bursting
through its cage.

She pulled
her hand back and crossed her arms for fear of his magnetism overtaking her
good sense.
Remember, squash his interest,
she reminded herself.
I
can do this.
Her sudden retraction caused his smile to droop, and his eyes shifted
to the ground between them. She had seen that look before, just two days ago
when she didn’t give Benjamin the answer he had hoped for. Disappointing the
men in her life was now an unsavory trend.

She
wanted to reach out and snatch his hand again, to ease his pain, but waited in
silence for his answer to her original question of how he had found her, and the
exchange quickly became awkward. He closed his eyes regretfully and tucked his
hair behind his ears.

She
hated to see him struggle with how to continue, and longed to cut the tension
and ask him to go get some coffee or to come upstairs to her apartment – if she
could only be her normal, friendly self. But that was impossible. She couldn’t
risk letting her guard down and digging herself deeper into this ever-growing
hole. This time, she knew better than to try and search for a ‘grey area’.

“I
guess I should explain,” he said as he reopened his eyes.

Alyx
remained silent, pursing her lips to keep them from parting and allowing any comforting
words to escape.

“I found
Frederick’s business card that he left at the bistro for a free lunch, so I
decided to go find him at work and see if he could tell me how to get in touch
with you.” He glanced back up at her with his mysterious eyes, and it was all
she could do to not melt to the ground.

She pulled
at the bottom of her sweater as she composed herself. “He must have told you
how to find me, then.” 

“Not
exactly,” he replied. “He wouldn’t tell me anythin’, and don’t worry, I didn’t
tell him about the ‘incident’.

The
incident… Shit! He knows it was me.
Her worst fears had
materialized. Her reluctance to continue running the night before gave her
away. No wonder he insisted on tracking her down. If she had only stayed away from
the rooftop that night, she would have remained the girl he thought he had
recognized at the bistro one afternoon. Now, she embodied mystery, intrigue, worthy
of his tracking down. Her anguish held her words hostage this time as her
stomach twisted into a rigid knot.

“After
I left, I decided to take a walk and saw you leaving your apartment. I thought
it must be you, because they said you weren’t there today.”

His
voice trembled with uncertainty during his explanation, and Alyx speculated
that his story involved more than just a ‘chance run-in’ with her that
afternoon, but she didn’t see any point in challenging him. It didn’t matter anyhow.
This wasn’t his fault… none of it was.

His
nervous energy transferred to her, and she ran her fingers through a lock of
her ponytail that had fallen over her left shoulder, focusing on something
other than his face that wouldn’t make it harder to speak. “What is it you
wanted so badly to tell me again?”

“I’m
sorry for the other night, scarin’ you like that. And I mainly wanted to make
sure you’re ok. You looked pretty beaten up.”

She
cut her eyes at him, and his unease had turned into genuine concern. If she had
let him, he would have given her a hug right then and there, and she wouldn’t have
willpower to fight it all that hard. Or let go. She dropped the piece of hair she
held between her fingers and pulled her shoulders back
. I need to stay aloof
.
“I’m perfectly fine. Thanks for checking on me. I was on my way to eat, so if you
don’t mind,” she said and pointed across the street.

Before
she could move her feet, his hand grabbed her shoulder in protest. She sucked
in a breath to keep steady. Every time he touched her, static ran through her
body with excitement and intensified as though it were going to pop. “Where are
you headed? Maybe I could spring for lunch… make it up to you,” he said.

The
thought of spending time with him sounded
way
better than anything else
she could think of in that moment, but it could never happen. She forced the
corners of her mouth upward into a smile, trying her hardest not to offend him too
badly. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Thank you for the offer,” she replied and
walked off, ripping her shoulder away from his hold.

In
all her lifetimes, it was the hardest thing she had ever done, and it was as
simple as putting one heavy foot in front of the other. Her draw reached
through her back, insisting that she stay there with him, and she gritted her
teeth as she resisted against it, as though she pulled against a tight rubber
band. She longed to turn around and look at him again, but feared what she might
see. She imagined him standing alone, wounded, and the recoil might launch her
back to him. 

Once
through the crosswalk, she turned the corner between two buildings and rested
her back against the bricks, allowing the tightness in her muscles to ease. She
tilted her head forward and inhaled deep breaths through her nose to prevent it
from swirling. She wanted to run back over there to him to touch him again, any
part of him. While holding her hand in front of her face, she studied the palm.
The nerves fizzled like an exposed wire from where his hand had slipped into
hers. She shook it to calm them down and rubbed it against the other for good
measure.

After
a few long, agonizing minutes, she gathered herself together and continued down
the alley to the other side of the block. The pub had a back entrance that she
could use so she wouldn’t risk seeing him again.

The
hostess seated her in a dark corner booth with her back facing the restaurant. Alyx
hardly noticed her hunger now, but knew she needed to eat. She ordered chicken
fingers and a coke, and ate slowly, giving Isaac plenty of time to make his way
to wherever he needed to go next.

While
chewing on the crispy chicken, she glowered as her fingertips drummed atop the
table scarred with etchings of lover’s names and crude sentiments. Resentment
had set in to replace the adrenaline rush. Not necessarily toward Isaac, but toward
the whole situation. The cruel truth of it was, the only person a relationship
would ever work with was the only person that her superiors forbid her to
contact.

Her
glower broke, and her eyes pooled with tears. She held a napkin beneath them to
prevent the tears from spilling over. She wouldn’t allow herself to wallow in
pity. All of this torture could have been avoided if she had stayed away from
his window.

She
choked back the sob and steadied herself with her hands planted firmly on the
table, resigning right then and there to live the rest of her life -- however
long it might be -- without a plus one. If she couldn’t have Isaac, every other
guy would fall short, and she wanted Benjamin to be the last innocent victim.
She would live the rest of this lifetime unattached. It was the only fair thing
for everyone.
Except me
, she reasoned, and a sharp pain stabbed her gut.
But as soon as she wanted to pity herself again, she fought it away.
I have
to live with it.