Maralinga (12 page)

The waitress, having announced that the cake trolley would be along shortly, left with her tea tray tucked under her arm. As Daniel returned his attention to Elizabeth, he caught her studying him.

‘What is it?' he asked.

‘I missed you.'

‘So you said in the park. I'm glad.'

‘No. I'm talking about my change of heart. You asked why, and that's the reason. One can only miss a person so much before one realises one loves them.' No further explanation was needed, she thought – good heavens, he knew her better than she knew herself. ‘I've probably always loved you, Danny. I've just refused to admit it – even to myself.'

The magnitude of her admission both surprised and impressed him, but in his euphoria he couldn't help pushing her that little bit further. The opportunity was too good to resist.

‘So let's get married straightaway, shall we? Next week, what do you say?'

‘Oh.' She looked suddenly panic-stricken. ‘Oh …'

He laughed. ‘I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I won't rush you, Elizabeth, I promise. I'll wait for as long as you want. A
year
if you like,
two
years!' His smile disappeared, he was serious now. ‘But you will marry me, won't you?'

‘Yes.' Her answer was instant. ‘Yes, I will.'

‘Good, that's settled. The tea's getting cold.' Picking up the milk jug, he poured a small dash of milk into her cup – she liked her tea strong. ‘Now come on,' he said, ‘I want to hear all about
The Guardian
. You never talk about your work over the phone.'

Elizabeth automatically picked up the teapot and started to pour – they'd always worked as a team. ‘Oh my God, where do I begin?' she said. ‘Things were even tougher than I'd expected, I was thrown to the wolves right from the start. But I've decided it was probably the best thing that could have happened, Danny. I've learned such a lot …'

Daniel smiled to himself – she was off and running.

‘… You see, in some ways I'd had it easy, with my parents' support and a forward-thinking employer like Henry Wilmot. Even battling the system, I'd always known that the people who mattered took me seriously. Well, I can tell you here and now, nobody
at
The Guardian
did.' She plonked down the teapot and the thud as it hit the table was like an exclamation mark.

‘What about Lionel Brock?'

‘Oh, I'm not talking about him,' she said dismissively. ‘I'm talking about the staff reporters, every single one of them, down to a man!'

‘Of course. Sorry.' Better to just let her go, Daniel decided.

‘They didn't even notice me …'

Like hell they didn't.

‘… except for wolf-whistles under their breath whenever I walked past.'

Precisely
.

‘That's why I cut my hair.'

‘Did it stop the wolf-whistles?'

‘Not really.'

Well, it wouldn't.
He nodded sympathetically.

‘Lionel wasn't much help. He couldn't give me a feature for months – orders from above – and what was he expected to do anyway? It's simply the way of the world.' Elizabeth pulled a face and sipped at her tea as if to rid herself of a sour taste. ‘I don't know which was worse – pretending an interest in the mindless fashion parades and flower shows I was expected to report on, or putting up with the infantile behaviour of my colleagues.'

Daniel wasn't sure whether she meant to be amusing or not, but he couldn't help laughing anyway.

‘What's so funny?'

‘I can't see you putting up with your colleagues' “infantile behaviour” for long. I bet the poor sods copped some flak.'

‘Yes, one or two of them did,' she admitted, recalling Buzz Barker.

Barry ‘Buzz' Barker, a popular sports columnist known to be ‘a bit of a lad', had certainly copped some flak from Elizabeth. She'd been suffering the unwelcome attentions of her colleagues in silence for some time when, on this particular day, she'd seen the wink Buzz had shared with a couple of his chums just before he'd ‘accidentally' collided with her. On groping about to recover his balance, he'd managed to grasp a healthy handful of her left breast and she'd belted him as hard as she could across the face, right there in the middle of the crowded newsroom. The action hadn't endeared her to Buzz, who'd insisted he'd tripped, nor to his chums who'd egged him on, and thereafter they'd attempted to spread the word to all who would listen that Elizabeth Hoffmann was a stitched-up cow with tickets on herself. But Elizabeth had successfully drawn attention to her predicament, and in so doing had gained the respect of a number of the others who realised they too may have overstepped the mark, albeit inadvertently and not in quite such spectacular fashion.

‘They leave me alone these days,' she said. ‘And now that my features are published they've changed their tune altogether. It was a whole six months before E. J. Hoffmann appeared in print,' she added dryly, ‘but when he did, they all got one hell of a shock. They couldn't believe it was me at first, and they weren't prepared to ask. Just whispers in corridors, which I ignored. Then Lionel let it be known that the public was not to be informed of E. J. Hoffmann's true identity. So there I was, suddenly on an equal footing.'
She sipped her tea. ‘Strange,' she said, ‘how quickly we became friends once they respected my work.' With the exception of Buzz Barker, she thought. But then Buzz had been publicly humiliated – and by a woman! For that, he would never forgive her.

Elizabeth was halted by the arrival of the cake trolley, and the next several minutes were devoted to a plethora of choices, including the many varieties of cheesecake for which the teashop was renowned. Ignoring the sponges, trifles, meringues and chocolate puddings, they selected variations of the house specialty.

‘I don't suppose you've seen any of them, by the way?' Her tone was casual as she toyed with her choice of lemon cream.

‘Seen any of what?' he asked, concentrating on his baked vanilla. He knew very well she was referring to her articles in
The Guardian
, and that she was pretending indifference while waiting with bated breath.

‘My features. The last one was a piece on Churchill. It came out the first week in December.'

He popped a hefty forkful of cheesecake into his mouth and looked up from his plate vaguely, as if trying to recollect.

Elizabeth disguised her disappointment with a careless shrug. ‘Well, naturally you wouldn't have seen it, why on earth should you? I brought a copy along – it's in the trench coat …' She stood. ‘Won't be a minute …'

‘Don't bother. I've read it.' A pause as she froze. ‘Of course I saw the article, Elizabeth. How could I
not
see it? I scour
The Guardian
on a daily basis.'

‘Do you really?'

He nodded. She sat. Another pause, and Elizabeth found herself literally holding her breath. His approval was of immense importance to her.

‘So come on, tell me,' she said after several agonising seconds, ‘what did you think?'

‘I thought it was brilliant. Bloody brilliant. In my opinion, quite the best thing you've written yet.'

‘Honestly?'

‘Honestly.' She was clearly waiting for him to go on and he was happy to oblige. ‘It was a controversial piece, as I'm sure you meant it to be,' he said, ‘and I'll bet a lot of staunch Churchill fans were offended. But I thought your argument about a “man
of
his time,
for
his time” was really well-balanced.'

‘Oh, good,' she said with a huge sigh of relief. ‘I was a bit concerned that … well, you know … that being military, you might disapprove of the negative aspect.'

‘Why would I? And even if I did, I'd still admire the article, it was really well-written.' He raised his teacup in a toast. ‘I'm proud of you, Elizabeth.'

‘I'm glad.' She raised her own cup. ‘I can't think of anything I'd rather hear you say.'

They clinked and drank to each other, and she dived back into her cheesecake.

‘The piece certainly aroused some comment here amongst the top brass,' he added casually.

She halted, cake fork mid-air. ‘You mean they
saw
it?'

‘I left the odd open copy lying around in the officers' mess. I thought you might be interested in the reaction of the old brigade.'

She was. ‘And …?'

‘There was a lot of very strong feeling, as you can imagine. The members of the old brigade don't like being told that Churchill's had his day.'

‘They'd like it a lot less if they knew they were being told by a woman.'

‘My word, yes, that
would
cause a stir.' Daniel laughed at the thought. ‘Mayhem, in fact.' He pushed aside his dessert plate with its half-finished cake and started pouring himself another cup of tea. ‘No wonder your colleagues at
The Guardian
are so respectful these days.'

‘But why did they feel the need to be
dis
respectful in the first place?'

‘Ah.' She'd stumped him. She'd also misunderstood him. ‘I'm sure they didn't
mean
to be disrespectful, Elizabeth.'

‘I know.' Damn, she thought, she hadn't meant to sound so combative. The words had just sprung out in response to his rather glib comment. But now that they had, she couldn't back down altogether. ‘You're going to tell me they were just
doing what comes naturally
, right?'

‘Right. They're men, you're a good-looking woman – of course they'd admire you.'

‘I don't want them to admire
me
, I want them to admire my
work
.'

‘And they do. You said so yourself. They changed their tune when your features appeared – they respect your work now, that's what you said.'

‘Yes,' she agreed, ‘yes, I said that, and yes, they do. But I needed E. J. Hoffmann to prove my worth, didn't I? Without him I was nothing.'

Elizabeth stopped herself. Argument was futile. Danny existed in the exclusively male domain of the military. For all his support and encouragement and pride in her, he had no idea what it was like for a woman in the workplace. Indeed, how could he?

‘The day will come,' she announced with more than a touch of theatricality to lighten the moment, ‘when the name Elizabeth Hoffmann will stand on its own.' She drained the last of her tea. ‘
The Guardian
's brought out the fight in me, Danny.'

‘God forbid,' he said, and he poured her another cup.

They stayed at the teashop for a further hour, and were the last to leave. They would have stayed longer, but the teashop closed at six o'clock.

It was no longer snowing, and the street lamps shone mistily through the gloom of early evening as he walked her to the railway station. She'd insisted upon the train, maintaining his offer of signing out an army vehicle and driving her home was altogether too complicated.

‘It'd take ages,' she said, ‘and Daddy's expecting me to ring when I arrive at Reigate – that's our usual arrangement. Please, Danny, I'd much rather get the train. We'll see each other after Christmas.'

The previously deserted streets were swarming with an exodus of people who'd sought shelter from the snowstorm, and when they arrived at the station, the platform was more crowded than usual. Amongst the regular commuters were those determined to beat the rush of the following day, Christmas Eve, when the hordes would be heading out of town. There was nowhere to sit, the benches
were all taken, but they had no desire to sit anyway. Instead, they snuggled together in a corner by the stairs, the fedora Elizabeth clasped crushed and forgotten between them. They snuggled close, not because they needed to, and not because they were cold, but because they wanted to.

They'd discussed their plans fully, deciding not to announce their imminent engagement to their parents over Christmas. ‘We'll wait a month or so before making it official,' Daniel had said, wary of rushing her. ‘There's plenty of time.'

‘I need time to digest it all myself,' she'd replied. ‘I'm about to become a
fiancée
!' Her expression had been comical as if the word were faintly obscene. ‘I never thought I'd live to see the day.'

There seemed no more to discuss, and they were silent in their cosy corner by the stairs. Only five minutes until the next train, Daniel thought. He wished it were hours. He wished he weren't leaving in the morning. He wished he could stay here, right here, just like this.

She lifted her face to him and they kissed, oblivious to the bustle of those jostling for position on the ever-increasingly crowded platform.

Any minute now, Daniel thought, any minute now the train would arrive.

‘What if I stayed tomorrow,' he whispered.

‘Oh, Danny, you couldn't do that. Imagine how disappointed your parents would be. Besides, you told me how much you always love your family Christmases.'

Yes, he always had, but the family Christmas had paled into insignificance after today's events. ‘Of
course, you're right,' he said. She was. It would break his mother's heart if he didn't turn up. ‘Just got a bit carried away, that's all.'

He could hear the distant clack of the train. They both could. Reluctantly, they broke from their embrace.

‘Oh, dear me, look.' Elizabeth held up the crushed fedora. ‘It may never be the same.'

‘Does it matter? You won't need it again.'

‘Perhaps not the hat,' she said with a rueful smile, ‘but I doubt I'll lose E. J. Hoffmann that easily.'

They could see the train now, slowing on its approach.