Man from Half Moon Bay (15 page)

“You’re not thinking clearly.” She smiled at him lovingly. “I never realized how thickheaded you could be. I guess I’ll just have to blow in a little fresh air to clear the cobwebs.”

He started to turn away.

“Jordan.” Her voice was very gentle. “I’m not your mother.”

He froze. “Cam appears to have a very big mouth.”

“You should have told me yourself.”

He didn’t look at her. “What could I have told you? That I killed my own mother?”

“You didn’t kill her. She killed herself.”

“No, I should have known. I should have been able to see—”

“You weren’t responsible for her death,” Sara interrupted firmly. “Adults are accountable for their own actions. She could have left your father and built a new life for herself.”

“Like you did?” he asked bitterly. “And then I followed you and nearly—”

“Jordan!” Sara gazed at him, tenderness and exasperation battling within her. “I’m
glad
you followed me. I would have been incomplete for the rest of my life if you hadn’t.”

He started for the door. “You always did have a
soft heart, but pity’s getting in the way of your sense of self-preservation.”

“An you obviously have a very soft head,” she said with frustration. “There’s no pity involved here. I
love
you.”

His hand tightened on the knob of the door. “You said it was infatuation.”

“I was wrong.”

“No, you were right.” He jerked the door open. “You don’t love me.”

“I’m not letting you run away from me,” she said softly. “You made sure I came to this island and now I’m staying.” She paused. “With you, Jordan. And when you leave, I’m leaving with you. That’s how it is going to be from now on. You and me—together.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“You’ll see. You once said I was strong. Well, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

“Oh, Sara.…” He shook his head and strode out the door.

A faint smile was on Sara’s lips as she turned away and moved toward the adjoining bathroom.

It had begun.

Sara made a face at the image reflected in the mirror of the bureau. When she had packed to come to Penny’s island, she’d had no idea she would need anything but sturdy, utilitarian clothing and this plaid wool caftan was meant for warmth and not glamour. But at least the emerald green color was good with her hair and eyes. Judging from Jordan’s resistance earlier today, she’d probably need every edge she could muster this evening. She turned away from the mirror and moved toward the door.

The hall and living room were deserted as she started down the stairs but Jordan entered the house before she reached the bottom step. He hesitated, gazing at her warily. He abruptly turned away and started down the hall. “I’ll go make dinner.”

“It’s already made. I threw together a beef stew while you and Cam were working on the radio.” She followed him down the hall. “Where’s Cam?”

“He took the launch to Santa Barbara to check out the radio.” He opened the door to let her precede him into the kitchen. “We can’t get a line patched to Penny’s apartment. He should be back late tonight or early tomorrow morning.”

“What seems to be the problem?” Sara asked as she began dishing up the stew from the pot into the earthenware bowls she’d set out on the countertop.

“We don’t now. The phone just rings off the hook. We’re probably being connected to the wrong number. Penny has to be there. She told me she’d be working at home so that she’d always be in touch.” He paused. “She’s a good friend to you.”

“Yes, she is. Though I may have to come to a new understanding with her after this little fandango.” She picked up the bowls and turned around. “She shouldn’t have …” She inhaled sharply and forgot what she was saying as she met his gaze. He wanted her. It was there in the sensual curve of his lips and the intensity with which he was looking at her. Her hands were suddenly trembling and she tightened her grip on the bowls. She smiled with an effort as she moved across the room toward the oval mahogany table. “I’ve made enough for three. I hope you’re hungry.”

“Not very.” He dropped down in a chair and spread his napkin on his lap. “You didn’t have to do this. I could have done the kitchen duty.”

“Why?” She put one of the bowls in front of him on the place mat. “If I still considered myself a prisoner, I’d let you wait on me hand and foot, but the situation has changed.” She went around the table and set her bowl down on the place mat before seating herself opposite him. She grinned mischievously. “If anything, I consider you my prisoner. Though I’ll make every effort to make your captivity enjoyable.”

“How … interesting.” He didn’t look at her as he picked up his spoon. “You didn’t, by any chance, manage to sabotage the radio to get rid of Cam?”

“Nope.” She began to eat. “But I do regard it as a sign from on high that my cause is just.”

“You sound like a medieval knight.”

“I feel a little medieval and I’ve always thought it unfair that women weren’t permitted to become knights. I think you have a few dragons to be fought and why shouldn’t I help?” She met his gaze and added deliberately, “Though if you’d rather I be Queen of the May than vassal, I’m agreeable to that too.”

His fingers tightened on the spoon. “I’m not agreeable.”

“I know. That’s one of the dragons.” She put down her spoon with great care. “That and the Jonah complex you seem to have acquired. It’s enough to discourage a woman.”

“You don’t appear to be discouraged.”

“That’s because this is too important to me to let anything stand in my way.” She paused. “
You’re
too important.”

“I wasn’t all that important to you two days ago.”

“Yes you were.” Sara held up her hand to stop him as she opened his lips. “I know. I know. You probably have a right to be suspicious of this sudden reversal on my part. Do you think this is easy for me? You manipulated me and I resent the hell out of that. When I realized I loved you, I knew I had to put that anger aside if we were going to make our relationship work. But I didn’t think I’d have to fight you too.” She stood up. “But if that’s the way it has to be, then I’ll have to do it. Put down your spoon. You’re just toying with that stew anyway.”

“What?”

She came around the table, took the spoon away from him, and put it down on the table. “You’re evidently not going to do justice to the main course, so you might as well have dessert.” She plopped down in his lap and put her arms around his neck. “Relax.” She nestled her cheek against his chest. “You’re stiff as a board.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” His voice was muffled in her hair. “Will you please get off me?”

“No.” His heart was thundering in her ear and her embrace instinctively tightened around him. “I like it here. Put your arms around me.”

“No.”

“Okay, I don’t want to be pushy. It would be nicer if you held me, but this is all right too.” She unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt and pressed her lips to his chest as she’d been tempted
to do earlier today at the pier. She buried her lips in the dark wiry hair and then turned her head to lick delicately at his nipple. She felt a shudder run through him. “Don’t you think it’s pleasant?”

“About as pleasant as a night in an iron maiden.”

She laughed softly. “I’m not a maiden and I’m certainly not made of iron and you’ve always found nights with me pleasant in the past.” She rubbed her cheek back and forth on the hard, warm flesh she had bared. “Or so you’ve told me.”

“Sara …” His voice was strangled. “I can’t take much more of this.”

“Good. Have I seduced you?”

He didn’t answer. His chest was rising and falling with every breath and she could feel the hard column of his manhood pressed against her bottom. Heavens, the man was stubborn, Sara thought ruefully. “No? But I believe I could seduce you if I went just a little further, don’t you?” She nibbled gently on his nipple.

His heart gave a double beat and he made an involuntary motion as if to take her in his arms. He stopped and his arms dropped again to his sides.

She sighed as she slowly straightened and buttoned his shirt. “I don’t think you’re ready to be seduced, so I’ll back off. I don’t want to be accused of using you again.”

“I told you I didn’t mind your using me.”

“But I mind. I think we’re going to have to revamp your philosophy on the value of using people.” She cuddled closer to him again. “Let’s
just try to give to each other instead. There’s so much I want to give you, Jordan. Love, trust, children …” She could feel him relaxing, the tension gradually ebbing from his locked muscles. “Do you realize we’ve never discussed children? Would you like a son?”

“Maybe.” His arms slipped around her with the greatest care, holding her as if she would break if he exerted the slightest pressure. “I never thought about it. It was always just you. I think I’d rather have a daughter.”

“That pleases my feminist sensibilities but it surprises me. I thought most men wanted a mirror image of themselves.”

“Maybe most men like what they see in the mirror better than I do. I’d rather look at a reflection of you.” His palm touched the sleek curve of her hair with uncharacteristic awkwardness. “You could never reflect anything that wasn’t bright and beautiful.”

She swallowed to ease the tightness of her throat. “We’ll take turns then. One of each. The next question is, when do we start? Next year?”

“I don’t care. Whatever you want,” he said absently, his hand tangling and playing in her hair. “Whenever you—” He broke off as pain tightened his features. “I can’t, Sara. It won’t work. I couldn’t stand—” He lifted her off his lap and stood up. “I’ve got to get out of here.”

“It’s a small island. I’ll only follow you. You burned your bridges when you let Cam take the
launch.” She tried to smile. “Now there’s no way you can escape me.”

“Cam will be back tomorrow.”

“But he’s on my side. I bet he’ll make himself so unobtrusive, we won’t even know he’s on the island.”

“Sara.” Jordan’s face was tormented. “Don’t do this. You’re tearing me apart.”

“Then give up,” she whispered. “Please give up, Jordan. We’ve both made so many mistakes. Don’t make another one.”

“You’re the one who’s making a mistake,” he said hoarsely. “You don’t know what’s good for you.”

“But that’s what I’m trying to find out.” She paused. “But I know neither of us is going to discover anything by running away. You should have learned by my example.”

“I’ll
hurt
you, dammit. I won’t mean to do it but I will.” He whirled on his heel and strode out of the kitchen. A moment later she heard the door slam behind him.

Sara drew a shaking breath as she turned away and began to clear the table. For a first foray it hadn’t gone badly. Jordan was too tough to cave in without a battle, but he was obviously fighting himself as well as her. Surely he couldn’t hold out long. Oh, dear, what if he did hold out? She wasn’t accustomed to playing the aggressive vamp, and the entire situation made her most uneasy.

She carried the dishes to the sink and set them on the counter. There was no reason to be uneasy,
she told herself firmly. As long as Jordan loved her, she was the one in control. She shook her head as she noticed how her hands were trembling. If she was so in control, why was she scared to death she would do something wrong?

Sara was sitting curled up on the couch reading a Danielle Steel paperback when Jordan came back to the house several hours later. She glanced up, smiling casually. “You look as if the north wind just blew you into the hacienda. Is it chilly?”

He eyed her warily. “A little.”

“You’ve been out a long time. You’d better take a hot shower.”

“I will.” He hesitated. “I’m going to bed.”

She gazed up at him innocently. “I’m so glad you shared that with me. Sleep well.”

He frowned. “Alone,” he added deliberately.

She nodded serenely.

He started up the stairs.

“Tonight,” she said softly.

He stopped, but didn’t turn around. “I beg your pardon?”

“I decided to beat a strategic retreat,” she said. “I think you need a chance to get your breath and mull things over. You’re quite safe from my advances tonight.”

“That’s good.” His tone was oddly flat as he resumed climbing the steps.

“I decided tomorrow was soon enough.” Her gaze returned to her book. “Good night, Jordan.”

She kept her gaze fastened on the page she was reading as she heard him mutter a curse beneath his breath. A moment later the door of his room slammed behind him.

Sara chuckled. It was a good thing the doors of Penny’s hacienda were strong and the hinges sturdy. They had certainly gotten a thorough workout since she and Jordan had arrived at Penny’s “sanctuary.”

“You’re not going to like it.” Cam strode down the gangplank toward the pier, where Jordan was waiting. “I sure as hell didn’t.”

“You couldn’t get the radio fixed?”

“It wasn’t broken. We were being connected with Penny Lassiter’s apartment. She just isn’t answering.”

Jordan tensed. “You’re sure?”

Cam nodded. “Jeanine, the supervisor at the telephone company and I are now bosom buddies.” A reminiscent smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “And what a truly magnificent bosom she has. I wish I’d had more time to—”

“That’s not good,” Jordan interrupted Cam’s discourse on the mammary attributes of the voluptuous Jeanine. “Penny Lassiter suggested the patch herself, and she wouldn’t just flit off somewhere without getting word to us.”

“I didn’t think she would either, so I had Jeanine contact the apartment manger and she persuaded
him to go up and check. No one answered the bell.”

“Damn!”

“That’s how I felt. Particularly, after I called
World Report
and found she’d told them she’d be working at home and that they hadn’t been able to reach her since one o’clock yesterday afternoon.”

“Where the hell could she be?”

“There’s no use getting uptight,” Cam said calmly. “We’ll find out. I asked Maria to handle the matter personally and she’ll—”

“Who the devil is Maria?”

“Maria Garcia. She’s a detective first class with the Santa Barbara police department. Didn’t I mention I’d gone to see them?”