Malcolm (Book 1, The Redemption Series) (33 page)

I hug Lilly fiercely.

“Thank you,” I tell her.

“Go!” she says laughing. “Go before she changes her mind!”

I pull back and look at Lilly.

“Would she?” I ask, never having really considered the possibility until now.

“I don’t think she could even if she wanted to,” Lilly answers. “But why take the chance?”

I nod in total agreement as I turn away from my past and run towards my future.

CHAPTER twenty-five

(Back to Anna’s Point of View)

My whole body feels bereft of life, like Malcolm's rejection of me has ripped out my beating heart and left an immense void inside my chest that can never be filled. Telling Malcolm that I was letting him go is the hardest thing I've ever done. I just wish my soul would stop crying out for him and gift me just a small moment of peace for my sacrifice. Yet, it still wants to hold onto hope, no matter how tenuous it might be, that Malcolm will realize neither of us can be whole without the other. But, I can’t live my remaining days waiting for the impossible to happen.

I told Jered that I loved Malcolm enough to let him go if that was what would make him happy. And I have, at least he’ll think that I have. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to truly make my heart believe it.

I wonder if Malcolm can sense the pain I feel right now. If he does, I know I can never truly hide how I feel from him. I wish I could just break the tie that binds us to one another because it makes concealing my love from him virtually impossible. Maybe that’s what God intended all along. Maybe he doesn’t want me to hide my feelings from Malcolm for some inexplicable reason.

I don’t know. I can’t seem to think straight. All I can do is try and mend my heart enough to where it doesn’t call out to Malcolm’s in the middle of the night when the pain I feel over his loss consumes me. I need to harden my heart. I need to build my own wall like Malcolm has and not feel anything for anyone. But, how do you perform such a miracle of numb oblivion?

The door to the workshop suddenly crashes open causing me to jump involuntarily.

Malcolm steps over the threshold instantly meeting my gaze, and I hear myself gasp at the unexpectedness of his arrival.

Malcolm is glowing like the sun itself is shining down upon him, just like my papa, Will, Jered and the other Watchers do to my eyes. Papa told me it was a sign of their devotion, but this is the first time I've seen it around Malcolm. I don’t fully understand why his devotion to me is showing up now, after I willingly let him go. It just doesn’t make any sense.

I wipe the tears from my eyes because I don’t want him to feel guilt over not being able to love me like I do him. I don’t need or want his pity.

He walks up to me with quick strides.

“Anna,” he says, a desperate plea in his voice, “forgive me.”

I look up at him as he comes to stand beside me. He reaches out and cups my face between his hands, using the pads of his thumbs to brush away tears that refuse to stop.

The look in his eyes instantly tells me the story of his life. The pain he's suffered, the loss of loved ones, but they also show a yearning for me to better understand him. To listen to what he has to say because it's been a long time coming.

“I love you too,” he declares and I start to cry harder because I know he’s telling the truth. “I knew you were my soul mate the moment yours called out to mine that night. I’ve just been too obstinate to accept it. But, I know now that you and I have always been meant for one another. I want the future Lucas has seen for us. I want us to be a family. I want you to have my babies, and I want the privilege of calling you my wife, my lover, and my friend. Please, tell me I’m not too late. Please tell me that you haven’t let me go from your heart just yet.”

There’s a part of me that wonders if I’m dreaming, and another part of me that knows there’s only one way to find out.

I stand up from the stool and wrap my arms around Malcolm’s neck.

“You're not too late,” I tell him searching his eyes, making sure that it’s truly him standing in front of me and not just a figment my broken heart has conjured up. “You could never be too late.”

I bury my fingers into Malcolm’s hair.

“Kiss me, Malcolm,” I beg. “I need to know this isn't just a dream.”

“But, this is the best dream of them all,” Malcolm says, smiling down at me, “because it’s real.”

Malcolm leans his head down to mine. His mouth is so close I can feel his next words vibrate against the tender flesh of my lips.

“This is only one of many kisses we'll share in our lives,” he says to me like a promise. “I will always cherish it because with this one, simple kiss I pledge not only my heart and my body to you, but also that part of my soul that has belonged to you since the beginning of time. I will stay by your side no matter what happens, and I will do everything within my power to give you the life you deserve. I won't take your love of me for granted ever again. I promise you that. “

Malcolm barely touches his lips to mine as he breathes, “I love you, Anna.”

I wrap my arms tighter around his neck as our lips fully join and find that Malcolm's mouth is a perfect match to my own.

Malcolm groans deep inside his chest. He drops his hands away from my face to pick me up and sit me on the work table so that our faces are level with one another. I wrap my legs around his hips because I want all of him closer. I keep my lips locked to his and twine my fingers deeper into his silky mane. I suddenly feel as though I can’t breathe. But, I don’t care about breathing. I can breathe later. Right now, the man I love is kissing me and that’s all that matters.

I feel Malcolm lean into me further, deepening the kiss with the first, delicious taste of his tongue against mine. I tighten my hold on his head, not wanting him to back away too soon. I need the taste of him in my mouth, and I instantly know I want so much more. My whole body feels like it's been lit on fire from want and there's only one way to ease the aching void within me.

I tear at the shirt he's wearing and hear the buttons bounce off, popping against things in the room, but I don’t care. All I can think about. All that I want is Malcolm. I need to feel him against me, and his clothes are simply getting in my way.

I feel Malcolm’s hands begin to work the zipper of my jacket down but he stops unzipping mid-way.

Suddenly, he pulls away from me acting like he's trying to take in a breath that never seems to reach his lungs. His brow furrows in confusion at what’s happening and his eyes grow wide with alarm. I grab at him just as he falls unconscious and gently lay him down on the wood floor of the workshop.

“Malcolm!” I yell at him but receive no response. “Malcolm!” I yell again, shaking his shoulders trying to make him wake up.

I continue to desperately try to awaken him, but nothing I do seems to work.

Minutes pass and then I hear, “Well, that certainly took longer than I expected.”

I look up to see Levi, masquerading in the body of my best friend, staring down at me with a goading, lecherous smile on his face.

I stand to my feet and see that he’s not alone. Five Cirrun guards are standing behind him.

“What did you do to Malcolm?” I demand, feeling the flames of hate ignite in the pit of my soul.

Levi laughs. “I didn’t do anything. It was all your doing, my little dove.”

“Me?” I ask, completely puzzled. “What did I do?”

“You kissed him, wife. That’s all you had to do.”

“You’re not making any sense,” I say.

Levi smiles at me knowingly. “Didn’t you ever wonder what those shots Empress Catherine made you take were for?”

A vision of the green liquid Millie and Eliza injected into my arms each week flits through my mind. I look down at Malcolm and feel my world begin to fall apart.

“I don’t understand,” I say with a shake of my head.

“Apparently, Empress Catherine didn’t trust your down-worlder hormones very much. Those shots were to make sure you stayed true to her son before and after marriage. Any man who didn’t match the genetic profiles of either Augustus or your father were to be instantly poisoned by your sweet kiss. It was her insurance policy that you didn’t get knocked up by anyone else but her son.”

I look down at Malcolm and feel warm tears spill from my eyes.

“Is he…” I can’t even make myself ask the question for fear of what the answer might be.

“Dead?” Levi finishes for me. “No, unfortunately he can’t die that easily. Plus, the poison in your system is probably as its lowest level since you haven't had an injection for almost a week. He’ll simply remain knocked out for a while.”

“How did you find us?”

“Oh, Empress Catherine thought of every contingency. I have to admit, even I didn’t know she could be so ingenious. Not only did she pump you full of poison but she also placed trackers in your body to activate when the poison was released. I guess she wanted to make sure you couldn't hide from her after betraying your vows to her son. I figured it would only be a matter of time before you and Malcolm became physical with one another. Though, I have to admit. I didn't think it would take
this
long. He must be losing his touch. I thought for sure he would have tried to bed you before now.”

It all made sense. It was exactly something Auggie's mother would do to either ensure my purity or seek out a reason to dissolve the marriage contract between me and Auggie so she could remain in power.

Levi walks over to a toolbox on the work table and picks up a small saw.

“You know, with Malcolm conveniently knocked out and looking so absolutely pathetic, I think I'll do something I've been wanting to do to him for years.”

Levi makes to walk over to Malcolm, but I phase in front of him to stop his progress.

“Don’t you dare touch him,” I growl.

Levi smiles at me tight lipped. Before I know it, he stabs me in the shoulder with a silver dagger causing me to scream out in pain.

“A little souvenir from Amon,” Levi says, pushing his face in front of mine while he twists the dagger deeper into my flesh. “It will keep you from phasing until I decide to remove it. Guards! Please hold the empress back for a moment while I attend to her lover.”

All five of the guards phase over and grab me. It takes all of their combined strength to hold me back from Levi. Before I can stop him, Levi grabs a fist full of Malcolm's hair and starts to cut it off with the jagged edge of the saw's blade. He repeats the process until all of Malcolm's long locks are shortened.

“Finally!” Levi says in triumph, throwing the last hand full of Malcolm’s hair onto the floor. “I've been wanting to get rid of that mangy mess since he showed up on this godforsaken planet with it. I feel sure he’ll thank me for the haircut after he wakes up. Though, he may curse you, my little dove, for his capture. I hope that kiss was worth what I’m about to put him through.”

“What are you going to do to him?” I ask, feeling a hate buried so deep inside me I never knew it existed until that moment.

“I’m going to make him wish you had never been born,” Levi says like the answer should have been obvious. “I may not be able to kill him, but that doesn’t mean torturing him won’t be fun.”

“What do you want?” I ask, knowing Levi must have a price I can pay to save Malcolm from his hands.

“Offering yourself to me, are you?” Levi asks, sounding intrigued. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about that. I think I do have something I want from you. It’s something only you can accomplish for me, and no, it’s not having my child. It’s something far more beneficial to me. But, we’ll get to that later.”

Levi looks at one of the guards. “Go search the house. If you find anyone in there, take them to Cirrus. I'll deal with them later.”

I don’t say anything about Lucas, praying he has time to hide himself from the guard, but not having too much hope for such a miracle.

“You,” Levi says to another guard, “take this big oaf to a prison cell until I can find some time to play with him.”

The guard bends down and touches Malcolm on the shoulder, phasing the love of my life away from me.

“And last, but certainly not least, please escort my wife to the palace where she can wait for my return.”

“What are you going to do?” I ask.

Levi produces his lighting whip in his hand. “I’m going to burn this place to the ground. I need to send a message to those who would defy me that this is what happens when you rebel against the emperor.”

I stare at Levi and ask, “How can an angel from Heaven be such a monster on Earth?”

Levi laughs.

“Ask your real father the next time you see him. Lucifer’s the one who made me into what I am today,” Levi says in mock pride. “Now, go! Go back home so you can wait on your husband's return like a dutiful little wife.”

Just before the guards phase me, I look into Levi’s eyes and silently promise him that he will pay for any real harm he does Malcolm or Lucas.

As Auggie so wisely said not so long ago about me and the love of my life, “
God help anyone who tries to come between the two of you…you would tear them to pieces if it meant protecting someone you love.”