Malcolm (Book 1, The Redemption Series) (13 page)

The footman in charge of my carriage is soon standing in front of me, bowing deeply.

“Are you ready to go home, my lady?”

“Yes, but I want to walk there. You can put the carriage away until I need it tomorrow for the wedding procession.”

The footman stands back to his full height with a worried frown on his face.

“I don't think the emperor would like you walking home by yourself, Lady Anna. I should at least go with you to act as your escort.”

“No,” I say in a voice which tells of my weariness from the night, “I want some time alone. Think of it as your wedding present to me.”

The footman still looks uncertain, but finally nods his consent to my desire.

I walk away from the palace and venture into the city streets.

The time is late and most of the residents of Cirrus are inside their homes snuggled safely into their beds. The streets are vacant for the most part, and I relish the near silence surrounding me. The only sounds I hear are of my own footfalls crunching the snow beneath my feet. As I walk with my head down, my thoughts become completely lost as I review the events of the night. I'm so preoccupied I accidentally run into a woman walking in the opposite direction along the sidewalk. She ends up on her back, sprawled onto the snow strewed street because I wasn't guarding my strength and ended up colliding against her at full force.

I rush to her and bend down on my knees beside her.

“I'm so sorry,” I lament. “Are you all right? Are you hurt anywhere?”

The woman looks a bit stunned at first, but then she begins to laugh. Her laughter is irresistible, and I soon find myself laughing along with her at the ridiculousness of the situation.

I stand to my feet and hold out a hand for her to take. She takes hold of my offer of assistance, and I gently help her stand.

“Wow,” she says, bending slightly at the waist to dust the snow off of her coat, “you're strong for such a little thing.”

“Sometimes I don't know my own strength,” I tell her, giving her the only explanation I can.

As I watch the woman continues to pat her coat free of snow, I begin to feel as though I know her. When she stands to her full height and looks at me, the chocolate brown of her eyes hold a tenderness some part of me seems to faintly recognize, like a long lost memory.

“Do I know you?” I ask, studying her beautiful features and somewhat old fashioned style of dress. Almost no one in Cirrus would wear a black wool coat or what looks like a homemade knit cap. The citizens of Cirrus are far too fashion conscious for such plain apparel.

The woman smiles at me, and I become even more confident that I know her. Yet, I have no memories of her, and I never forget anything. I begin to wonder if perhaps I met her in another life.

“No, you don't really know me,” she says. “But I know you. You're Lady Anna Greco, the future empress. Your wedding is tomorrow, right?”

I hesitate but then say, “Yes.”

The woman tilts her head. “You don't sound too happy about it.”

The more I look at the woman the more I want to tell her everything about myself. It's strange that I would want to tell her so much because I've always been one to keep things to myself. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, I feel as though I could tell her my deepest, darkest secrets and she wouldn't judge me by them.

“I don't love the emperor,” I tell her.

The woman smiles at me knowingly and slowly nods her head. “I'm guessing there is someone else that you
do
love. Only trouble with a man could have made you so distracted that you ran into me on an empty street.”

I feel my checks grow warm against the cold, embarrassed that I let my thoughts completely blind me.

“I humbly apologize for that,” I say to her. “I'm usually more careful.”

The woman looks me up and down but not in an appraising way. It's almost like she's seeing me for the first time and a look of pride enters her eyes.

“You're so beautiful, Anna,” the woman says. “I can tell your spirit is a strong one. Any man would be lucky to have you love him.”

I let out a small laugh. “Not when that man is already in love with someone else.”

“I feel sure you can change his mind,” she tells me with more confidence than I feel. “He would be a fool not to return the love of someone like you. Give him time. I'm sure he'll come around.”

“I hope you're right...” I tell her, realizing I don't know what to call her. “What's your name?”

The woman holds out one of her hands, and I notice a bracelet hanging from around her wrist. It's composed of a multitude of little silver and gold charms.

I shake her hand as she says, “My name is Rayne Cole.”

“Rayne? That's an unusual name.”

Rayne smiles.

“Somewhat unique,” she agrees.

“That's a beautiful bracelet you have,” I tell her. “Where did you get it?”

Rayne lifts her wrist up and looks at the bracelet. “My children gave it to me on one of my birthdays. Over the years, we've added charms to it to mark different events in our family life.”

“I've never seen anything like it. Is it an antique of some sort?”

“I guess you could say that. I don't think they make them anymore.”

We fall silent with one another, and I'm not sure what else to say.

“Well, I guess I should continue on my way home,” I tell her. “It was nice to meet you. I would love it if you could come visit me sometime at the palace. I don't really have a lot of people to talk to, but for some reason, I feel like you and I could become friends.”

Rayne's smile grows brighter. “I would like that, Anna.”

“Good.”

“Would you mind me giving you one small bit of advice before we part ways?”

“Of course.”

“Fight for the man you love,” she tells me fervently. “He's worth it.”

With those parting words, Rayne leans into me and kisses me on the cheek. It's a breach in protocol between a royal and a commoner, but for some reason, I don't mind her casual familiarity.

She walks passed me to continue down the street, and I watch her for a few moments more before turning to continue down my own path. For some reason, I decide to take one last look at her and turn back around, but she's already gone, almost like she vanished into thin air.

After I get home, Millie and Eliza help me undress and get ready for bed. Millie tries to ask me questions about the party, but I beg her to wait until the next day and plead that I'm just too tired. She doesn't seem to like my answer. Most likely because she can sense something is wrong with me. All I want to do is go to sleep and not think about a certain someone for the rest of the night.

Unfortunately, all I end up doing is tossing and turning in my bed. Visions of Malcolm and Lady Sophia together in compromising possessions haunt my thoughts. At one point, I grab my pillow and scream into it to muffle my pain. Unfortunately, it does nothing to relieve the ache in my chest, and I end up crying.

Then something happens.

A pain which greatly overshadows my own enters my heart. I sit up in my bed and wipe away the tears from my cheeks. The pain I feel is unlike anything I've ever felt before. It's a strange sensation, separate yet a part of me.

I know what I need to do without even having to think about it.

I stand up from my bed and phase.

CHAPTER eleven

The room I phase into is bitterly cold. I immediately cross my arms over my chest and place the palms of my hands on my exposed forearms in a vain attempt to retain what warmth my body has left before the coldness leaches it completely away. The thin, sleeveless white nightgown I'm wearing does nothing to help fight off the chill in the bedroom.

It's a room I've never been inside before, but I know exactly why I'm in it.

Sitting in a red velvet wingback chair angled to face an unlit fireplace is Malcolm. His head is bowed causing the flow of his long locks to hide his face from my view. With elbows resting on thighs, he conceals his features with his hands, like their flesh will hide him from the world. He's only wearing the black pants of the suit he wore earlier, leaving his chest and back bare.

I walk across the marble floor to him, dropping my hands back down to my sides. I stand in front of him and tentatively place one hand on his head, not sure how he'll react to my touch. Gently, I run the tips of my fingers through his silky strands, hoping to bring his tortured soul a small bit of peace.

Malcolm lets out a deep, trembling sigh, but I can't quite tell if it's one of relief or woe.

“Why are you here, Anna?” he whispers, sounding torn between wanting me near and not here at all.

I stroke the soft texture of his hair twice more before answering.

“I felt your pain,” I tell him, trying to keep myself from crying because I can still feel his torment. “I had to come to you, just like you had to come to me the other night.”

I continue to stroke the top of Malcolm's head until he drops his hands away from his face and slowly leans back in the chair.

I let my hand return to my side and meet his gaze with my own.

He looks haggard, like the pain of his soul has physically manifested itself in his expression. I want to reach out and touch him, but I don't. His posture looks guarded, and I get the feeling he doesn't want me to touch him in that moment. He continues to stare into my eyes but doesn't say a word. I remain still, patiently waiting for him to say something... anything.

I involuntarily shiver against the cold in the room.

Malcolm's eyes slowly travel the length of me, and when his gaze travels back up, they stop at my chest.

“Are you...cold?” he asks, an almost smile tugging on his lips as he continues to look at me, not even attempting to hide the fact that he's staring directly at my breasts.

I glance down at myself and immediately cross my arms over my chest because the evidence of my body’s reaction to the chill in the room is all too prominent.

“Yes,” I tell him. “It's freezing in here. Aren't you cold?”

“I've always been a bit warm blooded,” he tells me, slowly standing onto his bare feet and walking over to the bed in the room. In one swift motion, he yanks the thin black blanket covering the bed off.

As he walks back over to me with the blanket in his hands he says, “Fire, seventy-five degrees.”

The fireplace instantly erupts with flickering orange flames bringing with them a much needed warmth.

Malcolm walks up behind me and drapes the blanket over my shoulders. After he pulls the edges together in front of me, I think he's going to take his hands away, but he does the complete opposite. He brings his arms completely around me and simply enfolds me in the ring of them. I close my eyes as my heart races with joy and gently lean my back against his bare chest feeling safe within the confines of his embrace. I feel him rest his forehead against the top of my head and hear him breathe in deeply then let it out in a drawn-out sigh, like holding me brings him a small measure of peace.

I don't say anything because I know if I do he'll move away. I keep quiet and simply enjoy the feel of him finally holding me again.

The moment lasts longer than I could have hoped for, but, eventually, I feel him loosen his grasp on me and take a step back.

I want to ask him to take me into his arms again, but I know that's not what he needs right now.

He walks in front of me and sits back down in his chair. Not having the comfort of his warmth anymore, I go to sit in front of the fireplace for its heat. I turn so that I'm facing Malcolm at a slant. I find him staring at me with that bemused expression again.

“Have you ever been inside this room before?” he asks unexpectedly.

I shake my head. “No. I'm not even sure where I am.”

“It’s a room I rented today,” he tells me. “We're still in Cirrus.”

I know why he asked the question. If phasing was based on being able to travel between two points of space that you had actually been to before, he must be wondering how I was able to phase here without actually having ever been inside this room. The answer has to be obvious to him, but I get the feeling he's still trying to explain away our connection to one another.

I decide to take Jered's advice and not push the matter. But, I also remember Rayne's words to me.

“
Fight for the man you love
,” she had said. “
He's worth it
.”

I couldn't agree with her more.

“I'm a little surprised to find you alone,” I tell him, remembering how, just moments ago, I was certain Malcolm was in the amorous embrace of Lady Sophia.

Malcolm leans back even further into his chair in a relaxed pose that does nothing but make him look even more devastatingly handsome. I find myself completely distracted by his bare chest and feel an almost uncontrollable urge to go curl myself on his lap to soak in his warmth. I swallow hard and look away from him for a moment pretending to warm my hands next to the fire just so I can compose my thoughts and gain some much needed clarity.