Malcolm (Book 1, The Redemption Series) (12 page)

“He has my father,” I tell Malcolm as we dance across the floor. The blaring music from the band helps hide my words. “But he won't tell me where he is.”

“Of course he won't,” Malcolm says in disgust, “he'll use Andre's safety against you for as long as he can. That's the sort of creature he is.”

“I won't let him touch me,” I say with grim determination. “I'll kill him before I let him do that to me.”

A faint smile tugs at the corners of Malcolm's lips. “I’m glad to hear it.”

We continue to dance, and I can't help but stare up at Malcolm. I don't care if everyone in the room is watching us. I don't care if they see how I feel about the man holding me in his arms. If there was one thing my father taught me, it was to stay true to myself and my feelings for others. He always said that love for others isn't something you should try to hide. You should never feel ashamed for caring about other people just because some think it's inappropriate. I feel sure that anyone who sees me look at Malcolm will instantly know that he's captured my heart in the palm of his hands, and he is the only one who can decide its fate.

My eyes are drawn to the silver pin I saw earlier on the short collar of Malcolm's black jacket. I recognize it as a flower, a lily.

“Is that a family heirloom?” I ask him, keeping my gaze centered on the pin.

“Yes,” Malcolm answers, not seeming to want to talk about its significance.

“Did someone you love give it to you?”

“Yes.”

I don't press for more details. It's obvious he doesn't want to elaborate on his answers.

I decide not to let the moment be ruined and simply enjoy the feel of being in Malcolm's arms. Joy in life is fleeting, and I intend to soak up every last second I can steal with Malcolm because I have no way of knowing how many of these moments I will get. As I let my gaze drift up from the pin on his collar to his face, I catch him staring down at me with the same look of confusion he had the night before.

Why do I confuse him? Why won't he simply let me in?

CHAPTER Ten

As the waltz comes to an end, I feel myself involuntary grip Malcolm's hand and shoulder tightly, not wanting to let him go just yet.

“Anna,” Malcolm says in a slightly strained voice, “you're hurting me.”

I instantly loosen my grasp. I look up into his clear blue eyes and see the light of amusement dance there as he looks down at me.

“I'm sorry,” I tell him. “I usually have better control over that part of myself. Are you all right?”

“I'm fine,” he says with a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I just forgot how strong you girls could be. You're stronger than any of us, you know.”

“We all were?”

Malcolm nods, “Yes.”

“Was she as strong as me?” I ask.

“She who?”

“The one you said was dearest to your heart. The one you made the promise to about helping me...”

Malcolm's face becomes completely expressionless, like a mask has descended, covering his features to hide his true emotions from me.

“She was strong in a lot of ways but physical strength wasn't one of them.”

“What was her name?”

Malcolm stares down at me, and I don't think he's going to answer but he finally does.

“Lilly,” he whispers.

The band's music comes to an end, and Malcolm steps back, dropping my hand so suddenly it's like he can't wait to get as far away from me as possible.

Malcolm bows to me deeply at the waist and says, “Thank you for the dance, Lady Anna. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.”

I watch with a despondent heart as Malcolm turns and walks back toward Jered. Jered hands him back his cane and leans in as Malcolm whispers something to him. I see Jered nod his head and immediately turn his gaze towards me. Malcolm walks into the crowd, and I lose sight of him as he's swallowed up by those curious to know more about him and those who hope to gain his favor.

I return my gaze to Jered and see a kind, gentle smile grace his face.

“May I have the next dance, Lady Anna?” He asks, bowing to me at the waist as the band begins to play the next song and people venture onto the dance floor.

“Yes,” I say, “of course you can, Emissary Alburn.”

Jered takes me into his arms, but he holds our bodies conspicuously well apart from one another.

As we begin to dance, he says, “We're still looking for your father, Anna. Don't give up on him just yet.”

“I have no intention of giving up,” I assure him. “Finding him is the only reason I'm letting that thing over there live.”

Jered chuckles but it's low enough to not attract unwanted attention. “Andre always knew you were the one we had been waiting for. It took me a few years to believe him, but it just seemed like everything started to fall into place after you were born. I became so convinced I helped him smuggle the sword up here.”

I look up at Jered in surprise. “I thought he might have just used some mercenaries to get it into the city.”

“No,” Jered says, smiling down at me kindly. “He wouldn't have taken that sort of chance with it. I phased it up here on your sixteenth birthday. We knew the time was approaching when you would need it.”

“How did you know that?” I ask. “Malcolm hasn't told me how you all seem to know so much about what's supposed to happen.”

“It's a long story,” Jered says. “A far longer one than this dance will permit for me to tell you, I'm afraid. It should really wait for a time when either I or Malcolm can tell it to you in its entirety. Is there anything else I can answer for you?”

“Why does Malcolm still love someone who's dead?”

Jered nods his head knowingly. “I guess you know a little bit about Lilly then.”

“Yes, very little,” I sigh. “Why hasn't he let her go? She must have died a long time ago.”

“It was a very long time ago,” Jered confirms. “But, as angels, our memory of things can live on forever. What has been almost a thousand years to the world only seems like a blip in the passage of time to us. His memory of her is as fresh as it ever was.”

“How am I supposed to compete with that?” I ask aloud but the question is really for me, not Jered.

“My advice to you is to not compete with it,” Jered tells me.

“Then I should just give up before I even try to make him forget her?”

“That will never happen. Malcolm will
never
forget Lilly. And he would hate you if you tried to make him choose between you and her.”

I fall silent for a while before asking, “Then, what can I do?”

Jered smiles sympathetically and says, “Let him come to realize how he feels about you on his own. Don't rush him. It'll take some time for him to finally let someone else into his heart.”

“Is there enough room in there for two people?” I ask. “Even if one of them is a ghost?”

“I believe so,” Jered says in such a way that I can't help but believe him.

We dance for a bit in silence before I have to ask, “So...you think Malcolm has feelings for me?”

Jered tilts his head as he looks down at me, almost like he doesn't understand my question.

“Don't you feel it?” He asks.

“Feel what exactly?”

“The connection,” he says, almost in awe. “I've always been told that when soul mates meet they feel an instant connection to one another.”

“Of course I feel it,” I tell him, almost wishing I didn't. “But, I'm not sure if he feels it too.”

“Oh, he does,” Jered says with complete confidence. “I can tell. Plus, he knew you were in trouble last night. There's no explaining that away no matter how hard he tries to rationalize it.”

“Does he feel like he's being unfaithful to her?” I ask, trying to understand Malcolm a little better. “Is that why he's trying to deny what he feels for me?”

“It's a possibility,” Jered sighs. “I think it was hard for him to understand the fact that Lilly was never his to have because his love for her was so strong. But, Lilly married her soul mate and had a daughter named Caylin. They are your ancestors and the origin of your family line.”

“Why has Malcolm held onto his love for Lilly for so long if he knows she found her soul mate while she was alive?”

“You would have to ask him that question,” Jered says tenderly, obviously seeing my distress over the situation. “I don't pretend to know the inner workings of Malcolm's thought processes. However, I have high hopes for you Anna Greco. I have a feeling you were born into this world not only to take back the seals from the princes but for other greatness as well, including bringing Malcolm a well-deserved happy ending.”

“I would rather think of it as a happy beginning,” I say.

Jered's smile grows wider. “And so it shall be.”

The song comes to an end, and I regret having to stop dancing with Jered. I have a feeling he won't only be an ally in my fight against the princes of Hell but also a friend. If there was one thing I needed more of in this world, it was true friendship.

I spend most of the evening greeting others in the room perpetuating the pretense that all is right in my world, and that I'm looking forward to my wedding to the emperor the next day. I catch glimpses of Malcolm in the crowd engaged in mingling with the citizens of Cirrus. Though, his contingent of followers seems to mostly consist of those within the female gender. One woman in particular, Lady Sophia, seems to have taken Malcolm under her wing and assumes the responsibility of introducing him to the guests in the room. Lady Sophia's reputation is anything but pristine. It's well known that she takes on a new lover whenever someone strikes her fancy, and it seems as though she has already chosen her next target.

Malcolm doesn't seem to mind Lady Sophia's rather ardent attention either. He does nothing to stop her possessive hold of his arm as she leads him from person to person around the room. Eventually, I have to turn away from the sight of them together because it causes my heart too much pain.

“You look a little green,” I hear someone say beside me.

I look over and see Levi smiling at me, no doubt relishing in my torment.

“Jealousy doesn't become you, Lady Anna,” he smirks. “I'm not sure what you expected of Malcolm but fidelity has never been his strong suit.”

“He's just never had the right person to love him,” I say in Malcolm's defense.

“I suppose you think you're that person?” Levi scoffs. “Good luck getting him to forget Lilly. Don't look so surprised, Anna. I know a lot more about Malcolm than you do. If you think you can win that big oaf's heart, think again. No one, and I mean no one, will ever be as special to him as she was. You're on a fool's quest if you think you can match her in his heart.”

“You're wrong,” I say to him, not quite feeling the full force of my words because of my own lingering doubts.

Levi shrugs. “Think what you will, but I would lay a heavy wager on Malcolm bedding the lovely Lady Sophia before this night is through. I mean look at her! She's gorgeous and willing, just the way Malcolm likes his women. But don't worry, Anna, I will always be at your disposal to keep your bed nice and warm.”

“
You
,” I say with as much venom as I can, “will never touch me like that.”

“We'll see, I guess,” Levi says with a smirk and a shrug of his shoulders before striding off to mingle with some of the guests.

As I stand there, I feel wholly alone even though I'm completely surrounded by people. I yearn to have my father back by my side and regain access to his council. I begin to wonder what he’ll think about his only daughter being soul mates with his best friend. I hope he'll be happy for me, but fathers can sometimes be rather picky about who their daughters chose to give their hearts to.

I shake my head at my own thoughts. Here I am already assuming Malcolm will let me inside his heart when I have no way of knowing if that will ever come to pass. His lingering love for Lilly, my ancestor, might prevent him from ever acknowledging his true feelings for me.

With this depressing thought, I turn to the staircase and begin my ascent to the top. Once there, I ask one of the servants to bring me my coat.

“Are you leaving already, my lady?” The herald asks me.

“Yes,” I tell him, “and please don't announce it. I would like some time alone this evening. I don't think anyone will miss my presence.”

I look back down at the crowd of party goers and easily find Malcolm in the sea of revelers.

He's laughing heartily at something Lady Sophia has just whispered in his ear and doesn't even seem to notice that I'm about to leave. I turn my back on the scene unable to make myself watch any more of it.

After the servant brings back my coat, he drapes it across my shoulders for me. I make my way outside the palace, unable to stand the sight of Malcolm enjoying the company of another woman for a second longer.

The artificial snow inside the dome is still falling. I stretch my hand out to catch some of the flakes against my palm, welcoming the cool tickle of their landing against my skin before they melt almost instantly.