Making the Cut (33 page)

“Fuck that!” I screeched. “There is no way in hell you are telling me how to run my business. I have staff that expect to get paid, orders to fill, it’s my fucking livelihood. Those thugs aren’t going to come back, they aren’t that stupid. I am not letting this shit run my life, not again.” I was breathing heavily, anger pulsing through me.

Cade’s eyes flared and he turned away from me, his arm sweeping across his dresser, sending everything on top crashing to the ground. I jumped at his sudden outburst but refused to back down.

“How the fuck am I even going to think straight knowing you are vulnerable? Anything could happen to you and I won’t fucking be there!” He whirled back around to face me, his voice raised to a yell, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

“Well you’re just going to have to find a way to deal with it. You are not stopping me from living my life! I refuse to let this shit stop me from doing anything, and I am not dealing with your macho man shit today!” I yelled back, breathing heavily, anger like a fire ripping through me.

Cade’s face turned into a mask of pure anger. He prowled up to me, pushing me against the wall. My heart threatened to beat out of my chest as he wrapped his hand around my neck, applying enough pressure that I felt the strength he had, but not enough to hurt me.

“Why can’t you just do as I fucking say? No arguments.” He hissed, eyes dark.

I didn’t recognize his face with this much anger directed at me.

“Get your hands off me.” I managed to wheeze out as I tried to push his iron chest.

Cade glanced down at his hand with disgust and immediately released me, taking two steps back. I rubbed my neck trying to get my breathing steady. I glanced up at him, unable to fathom what just happened. Cade’s face was marred with regret. I straightened, reaching over and grabbed my bag and phone. Cade stayed frozen, looking down at his hands as if he is unable to believe what they have just done.

“I’m going, you can’t keep me prisoner here. I have a life to live.” I said quietly but firmly, looking at him with determination in my eyes.

He lifted his head, his face blank. “I’ll put Skeet and Rosco on you. You are not to leave their sights.” His voice was low, dead.

I nodded and walked quietly to the door, unable to be in the room anymore. He didn’t say a word as I exited.

“Come on Amy lets blow this popsicle stand.” I called through Brock’s door, surprised she wasn’t sitting at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me to exit.

The door flew open and an angry looking Brock stormed past, giving me a stiff chin lift. Amy followed him out, flipping the bird to his back.

“Asshole.” She muttered.

“Bitch.” I heard him yell over his shoulder.

Despite my somber mood I couldn’t help but be a bit amused even if I still didn’t know what was going on with Amy and my brother.

“Whoa what’s going on there?” I teased playfully.

Amy glared at me. “Don’t. Even. Ask.”

I guessed everyone’s day is starting off like shit. We made it to the common room and see Skeet and Rosco waiting for us.

“Ready to go ladies?” Rosco asked politely.

I gave him a proper look, he wasn’t bad looking, ripped of course but that seemed to be a requirement for being in the club. He kind of reminded me of some of the sleazy Italian guys back in New York. Slicked back black hair shining with grease, a gold chain around his neck and dark pronounced features. Not my cup of tea, but nothing to sneeze at. Skeet was a bit smaller, still built but leaner, more of a runners body. He wore slim black pants and a tight wife beater under his cut making him look even slimmer. He had amazing curls which contrasted his harsh face, scarred in a permanent grimace with a line going from his eyebrow to mouth. I wonder how he got that.

“What the fuck is this?” Amy hissed, gesturing to the men.

I gave her a look, telling her to reign it in.

“Cade wouldn’t let us leave without babysitters.” She opened her mouth to protest.

“No complaining lets just get out of here.” I nodded to the men and we walked out to my car. Luckily I was allowed my car, the guys were going to follow behind. As we got in, I caught a glimpse of Cade sitting on his bike. I felt his stare burning into me but I quickly got in the car avoiding his gaze.

“Uh oh trouble in paradise?” Amy asked, catching the exchange.

I reversed, resisting the urge to hit his stupid motorbike, and sped off out the gate.

I glanced at Amy over my sunglasses. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours?”

She laughed. “Biker men are assholes, no way I am breathing Brock’s air if I can help it. There’s nothing to tell.” She lied, inspecting her manicure.

“Bullshit. There is definitely something going on. Does that mean you and Ian are over?” I was hoping to finally get something out of her.

She sighed, looking out the window.

“We were never even properly together, I don’t know what to think. I finally start getting over him, with someone that drives me crazy and is a polar opposite. Then he comes back fucking my head up then dropping a bomb that he’s quitting the army. I can’t deal, it’s too much to handle. I told him we’d talk when he came home, if he really is leaving, but I don’t know if I can do it Gwennie.”

I gave her a look filled with sympathy, she really was in a prick of a situation. I loved my brother and didn’t want him getting hurt, but there was so much in play here, especially adding Brock in the mix, the waters were definitely muddy.

She gave me a sideways glance. “I feel weird talking to you about this, there’s nothing going on so can we just drop it?” She pleaded.

I didn’t believe her but I nodded. “I’m always here if you need me though Abrams.”

She smiled. “I know, now are you going to tell me what’s going on between you and your delicious man?”

“Not a chance in hell. Lets just forget about men for the day okay?” I asked as if it was even possible.

“Best suggestion I’ve heard in ages.” Amy replied.

The day passed by quickly, there was no more creepy deliveries or car bombs or drive bys or anything dramatic. Although I was jumpy for most of the day, convinced a spider would crawl out of somewhere. We tried to keep the incident quiet, but this was a small town and the cat was out of the bag. Or the spider was out of the box. I thought it would keep people away but it had the opposite effect. Everyone stopped by to see if I was okay and get their fill of the towns latest gossip. I expected more anger at the club for bringing this kind of thing into town but everyone spoke reasonably highly of the club, talking about how they organized charity runs and helped fund the children’s center down the road.

Rosco and Skeet haven’t left the store all day, they looked vigilant, always scanning the street. I bet it got boring, hanging out in a women’s clothing shop all day, so I made an effort to buy them lunch and coffees to get them through the day. I also gave them magazines but they had gone unopened, I guess there’s no time for leisurely reading when one is guarding against a possible gang attack.

I sighed, letting the last of the customers out before locking the door behind them. I had let Lily go early because she had a test to study for, and she had been about as jumpy as me, steeling worried glances at Rosco and Skeet all day.

I turned to Amy who was counting the till, then glanced to Rosco and Skeet who were lounging on the couches.

“Who’s keen for pizza?” I rubbed my hands together at the thought of the carby goodness.

Amy screwed her face up. “Cheese, grease and about a thousand calories?” She replied, then a light sparked in her face. “Count me in, maybe if I gained 100 pounds I wouldn’t have to worry about the unwanted advances of some biker idiot. As long as we get ice cream too.”

I laughed. “Awesome.”

The men were smirking at Amy’s latest comment. “Are we allowed to stop by the pizza place and grocery store without you two getting raked over the coals?” I asked sarcastically.

Neither said a word, they just stood still grinning. I guess that was a yes.

“Holy crap, I feel like I am about to explode.” Amy groaned as she tossed the empty ice cream carton into the direction of the trash can then flopped back down onto Cades bed.

I lay down beside her, unbuttoning my pants. “Yes I feel like I may just slip into a food coma.”

We had just consumed a huge pizza and a carton of ice cream, which did nothing to quell the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach I had had since this morning. If ice cream doesn’t cure it you know shit is serious. After getting back to the club with our goodies, we had managed to slip through the women and children and escape to Cade’s room. Not before Steg had approached me. We were almost to the stairs when he and one of the older men had emerged from ‘church’. He spotted me and made a beeline.

“Shit.” I muttered under my breath.

Amy followed my gaze. “Uh oh, biker prez 12 o’clock.”

Steg had a surprisingly soft look on his harsh face when he approached. His hand cupped my chin and my eyes flared in surprise.

“Gwen, you okay?” He asked softly, and my stomach dropped. Had Cade said something to him about this morning? Surely not, they barely got along. At a loss of what to do, I nodded awkwardly.

“You’re strong.” He stated, his tone sounding like he almost respected me. “Yesterday, you held it together. Other bitches would’ve reacted possibly causing even more shit. You did good, did right by the club.”

Whoa. Had I just gained the approval of someone who I suspected may or may not be an evil man? My question was answered when he bent down to kiss my cheek, gave me a firm nod then disappeared. I was so shocked I was pretty sure my mouth was wide open.

“What the fuck?” Amy sounded just as confused as I was. I grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the stairs.

“I will not be even attempting to figure out what just happened, my head is too full.” I decided.

We had spent the rest of the night hiding in Cade’s room, I had learnt that he and the boys were away doing something (I wouldn’t like to think what) and were not expected back for a long while. I had mixed feelings about this, one part of me was relieved. I had spent the day avoiding all thoughts about this morning, and I needed time to get my mind straight. I was scared, seeing Cade lose control like that reminded me a little too much of the violence that had been unleashed on me a year earlier. I didn’t want that to happen again. I was sure Cade wouldn’t hurt me, the look of disgust at himself this morning showed how much he obviously hated himself for his moment of anger. I loved him, a lot. I couldn’t just write off this incident though, seeing him that angry had been scary, but I knew he had a temper and it had been from worrying about me. I didn’t want to justify his behavior, but I knew how much he hated feeling powerless. Crap.

“Earth to Gwen.” Amy was staring at me looking slightly concerned.

“Sorry Ames, was a million miles away.” I replied, hoping to sound breezy. I didn’t fool my BFF though.

“What happened with you and Cade this morning? I know it must have been serious, you’ve been off all day.”

I sighed, not wanting to lie to her “We had a fight this morning, it got…intense.” I told her vaguely.

Her eyes flared in anger and she pushed up onto her elbows. “He didn’t hurt you did he? My threat still stands, I will de ball that man, even if it would be a crime not to let the world see how beautiful your babies would be.”

My friend was protective, I knew she would want to get involved in this and I didn’t have the energy.

“No he didn’t hurt me, he is just protective.  He didn’t want me going anywhere. I disagreed, it got heated. You know me, I hate being told what to do it’ll be fine.” I tried to reassure her and myself at the same time.

Amy left not long after our talk about Cade, receiving a text from Rosie saying they could bunk together. Obviously whatever had happened with Brock had been serious and he didn’t want her in his room anymore. I was infinitely curious about this, but Amy was locked tight and I didn’t want to push her.

I found it hard to find sleep, not having Cade next to me and not wanting this to be permanent, and then questioning  myself for yearning for Cade. I finally drifted off, into a restless slumber, waking up and reaching for Cade. Sometime during the night I woke yet again, but this time I had firm arms wrapped around me and I was tucked into Cade’s chest. I looked up at him, groggy, trying to decide whether I was dreaming or not. He must have sensed my gaze because his arms tightened. “Sleep baby.” His voice was rough.

Still half asleep I burrowed back into him, trying to get as close as I could. “I love you Cade.” I whispered, feeling his body go tight around me, I drifted off before he could reply.

I woke to an empty bed, I looked around, and deduced I was alone. Had I dreamt him? I sighed, trying to gather my thoughts and figure out the disaster that seemed to be my life. I felt sick about the way things were with Cade, he was out doing god knows what, obviously in danger and things were weird with us. I didn’t want that, no matter how out of hand things got yesterday, I couldn’t be without him. Period. If that made me a stupid woman who was blinded by love, then I guess I had better get used to those rose tinted glasses, cause I wasn’t going to bolt and spend the rest of my life wondering what if. Yeah a sensible man that wore a suit to work and had zero risk of coming home riddled with bullets was probably the best option. But that wasn’t me, unfortunately I wasn’t sensible. I did crazy shit, I needed a man that could handle that, handle me. And I needed Cade like I needed Chanel, so I would work something out. On that thought, my phone rang I reached to the nightstand glanced at the display and answered.