Mail Order Bride - Westward Secrets: A Clean Cowboy Romance Novel (Montana Mail Order Brides Book 13) (9 page)

              Rick’s stomach felt as though someone had just pierced it with a knife.  “So you want to just keep me a secret?  Is that it?  You don’t want your good reputation sullied by the fact that you had an affair and it produced a child.  Well, like it or not, I’m not going anywhere, Geoff.  You have one week to tell my sisters.  If, by that time, you haven’t, I will, and let the chips fall where they may.”

              Geoff’s gaze turned hard as he said, “Do you understand what this will do to my family?  To us?”

              “What about
me
?  Do you have no consideration for me?  I thought you were a better man than that.  I guess I was wrong.  One week, Geoff,” Rick said in a firm tone.  “I’m tired of hiding my true identity.”

              “Do you really think that the girls are going to embrace you?” Geoff asked harshly.  He hated himself for what he was saying, but his protectiveness regarding his daughters rose to the fore.  His first allegiance was to them.

              “Maybe not.   But maybe they’ll come around to the idea that they have a younger brother and they might just like it.  They already know me, so it might not be as tough on them as you think it will be,” Rick said.  “Remember what I said.”

              Geoff and Maureen stayed put as Rick walked from the office.  Then Geoff put his head in his hands.

              “I can’t believe it.  After all these years.  If only Janine had told me, this would not be happening,” Geoff said.

              Maureen grew angry at the realization of how much this was going to hurt their family.  “If only you’d never slept with her in the first place,” she said bitterly.

              Geoff looked at her.  “I know, Maureen.  I know.  But I did and here we are.  This is all my fault and I will figure out a way to tell our girls.  I can’t believe he’s been here for almost two years and has never said a word.”

              Maureen said, “He was getting to know us before saying anything.  I never imagined when we woke this morning that our lives would be turned upside down this way.”

              “Me, either,” Geoff said.  “The girls are going to hate me, Maureen.  I’m going to lose them.”  Tears gathered in his eyes as he thought of being without his daughters.  “Not to mention our grandchildren and everyone else.”

              Anger and anguish tore at him and he stood up and began pacing.  Suddenly he picked up a crystal figurine and hurled it across the room.  It smashed into the glass door of a bookcase and both the figurine and door burst into a shower of glass.

              “Geoff!” Maureen said and stood up.  “Stop!”

              “I was so stupid!  I will never forgive myself for what I did and what I have done to our family.  I take full responsibility.  Oh, Lord, I have a son,” Geoff said and sat back down.

              Maureen said, “I think we should tell them right away.  It’s best it comes from us and not Rick.  I only want our girls and our sons-in-law to know first.  They can explain it to their children.  If they’re all here, I shudder to think what’s going to happen.  I think we need as calm an environment as possible so they are able to absorb this upsetting news without a lot of chaos.”

              Geoff nodded.  “Yes.  I agree.  I’ll ask Charlie to go over and tell Claire and she can inform her sisters to come tonight.  It must be tonight or I will lose my nerve.”

              After he’d delivered his shocking news to the O’Connors, Rick had spent his day in turmoil.  He vacillated between anger that his father didn’t seem to want him and trying to be understanding of how Geoff would at first react. Rick hoped that, at some point, his sisters would want him in their lives.  He thought about Jack and how proud he was of his nephew, of all his nieces and nephews.  He considered it a privilege to work alongside Jack.  Would Jack hate him once he knew?  How would the community react as a whole?

              Rick thought of his dinner with Gina that night and knew that he was going to have to tell her right away so she wasn’t blindsided by the news.  It wouldn’t be right if she heard it from others.  He didn’t want her telling anyone else, though.  His sisters should be told before anyone else in Dawson.  He would have to tell Gina the whole horrid, nightmarish story of his past.

              His nerves were stretched to the limit and nothing he did helped calm them.  The hours finally passed until he could go see Gina.  Mounting his horse, Rick set out at a fast pace to the livery stable to pick up a carriage.  The sooner he saw her the better.

              Gina turned this way and that in the mirror, looking at her new dress.  Joe had paid her for more work she’d done and she had earned plenty of money to get the children new shoes and a new outfit each.  She’d gone over to Jacobs’ Finery and found a dress that was on sale.  She had bought it on impulse and now was glad she had.  It was dusky pink in color with a flowing skirt and slightly daring neckline.  She liked the way she looked in it and hoped Rick would like it as well.

              As she was finishing getting ready, Chloe came into her room.

              “Mommy, can I talk to you?”

              “Of course, sweetie,” Gina said.  She had Chloe sit on the bed with her.  “What is it?”

              “Are you gonna marry Rick?” Chloe asked.

              Gina looked into Chloe’s green eyes and stroked her pretty blonde hair.  “I think it’s much too soon to be thinking about anything like that, honey.”

              “But do you like him?”

              “Yes, I do, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to get married, Chloe,” Gina said.  “We’ve only just met.”

              “Yeah, but you were gonna marry Steve and you never even met him,” Chloe said.

              Gina nodded.  “This is different.  I wrote back and forth with Steve for a long time before I decided we should come here.  And even if Steve hadn’t passed away, we wouldn’t have gotten married right away.  We needed time to get to know each other.  So do Rick and I.  So while I like him, I’m not ready to marry him, ok?”

              “Ok.  I like Rick, too.  If you ever did want to marry him, it would be ok with me,” Chloe said.

              Gina was stunned by her daughter’s statement.  “It would?”

              “Yeah.  He’s funny and I can tell he likes me, too,” Chloe said.

              “Yes, he does like you and I’m glad you like him,” Gina replied.

              Chloe hugged and kissed her mother.  “Have a good time.  Goodnight, Mommy.”

              “Goodnight, sweetie.  I’ll check on you when I come home,” Gina said.

              “Ok,” Chloe said and ran down the hall.

              Gina absorbed the fact that Rick had won Chloe over so quickly.  The little girl who had balked at the idea of her mother marrying anyone else had suddenly given Gina permission to marry Rick.  She laughed to herself over it and then went to say goodnight to Ryan.

              When Rick arrived at the Dwyers’ place, he had to take several moments to collect himself before ringing the doorbell.  Randall answered the door.

              “Hello, deputy,” he said with a slight smile.

              “Hi, Randall,” Rick said.  “I’m here for Gina.”

              “Yes.  She is expecting you.  Please come in,” Randall said as he stood back.

              Rick entered the house and followed Randall into the parlor.  It never failed to amuse him that Joe had a British butler.  He was interested in hearing how Randall had ended up with Joe, but not right at that moment.  Gina appeared and Rick found himself dazzled despite his taut nerves.  Her dress reminded him of pink roses but Rick thought she looked infinitely more beautiful than any flower could ever be.

              “Hi, Lovely.  You look stunning,” Rick said. 
I feel terrible that I’m going to end up ruining this night for you, but it’ll be for the best in the long run.

              Randall hid a grin and made himself scarce.

              Gina smiled.  “Thank you.  You are quite handsome, deputy.”

              “I’m glad you approve,” Rick said. 

              He helped her on with her coat and thought her scent intoxicating.  Another stab of guilt shot through him.  “Shall we?” he said.

              Gina took the arm he offered her and let him lead her out the door.  He’d brought a small enclosed carriage and Gina was grateful since she didn’t want to get her dress wrinkled.  Rick helped her into it and joined her inside the conveyance.  He started the horses out and let them settle into a trot.

              “So, did you have a nice day?” Rick asked.

              “I did, actually.  I took the children shopping and we had lunch with Abby, Elliot, and their children.”

              “I’m sure that was nice,” Rick remarked.

              “It was.”  Joe’s remarks to her about Rick being secretive came to her and she decided to do a test.  “So, you never courted any of the women around here?”

              “No.  There was no one I was really interested in,” Rick replied. 

              “How long have you been here?”

              “Not quite two years,” Rick said.

              “Do you think you’ll stay?” Gina said.

              “I’m planning on it.  I’ve been everywhere and it’s nice to put down some roots.  I like Dawson.  There’re a lot of good people here and, most of the time, it’s a good place to live,” Rick said.  “What about you?  Are you planning on staying?”

              “Yes.  I like it already and I have nothing back in Martins Ferry anymore.  I mean, my parents are there, but they can’t afford to take us in,” Gina said.  “The children are actually settling in here, which is a relief.”

              Rick drove off onto a road he knew was less travelled and stopped the carriage.

              Gina gave him a confused look.  “Why are we stopping?”

              Staring straight ahead, Rick said, “Gina, I’m sure that, by now, someone, most likely Joe, has mentioned how people don’t know much about me.”

              “Yes, he did,” Gina said.

              Rick smiled down at her.  “I knew he would after he gave me a warning the other day about treating you and the kids right.  Even before that, I planned on setting the record straight about a lot of things.”

              “So he was right.  You have secrets?” Gina said.  Apprehension curled its way around her midsection.

              “Yes, and I’m afraid they’re rather big ones.  By next week, if not before, you’re going to start hearing about one of them.  But before that happens, I wanted to tell you about it myself.  It’s the right thing to do and I respect you too much to let you hear it secondhand,” Rick said.  “If, when I am done, you no longer wish to see me, I’ll understand.  All I ask is that you keep an open mind and that you do not divulge this information to anyone until I am ready to do so.”

              “All right,” Gina said.  “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

              “I came to Dawson to get to know my father who never knew I existed.  I’ve done that and I like him and respect him,” Rick said.  “Today, I told him who I am.  As expected, it didn’t go over very well.  Not as terrible as I thought it might, but not well.”

              “Oh, my,” Gina said.  “May I ask who it is?”

              “Jack’s grandfather, Geoff O’Connor,” Rick said.

              “You mentioned him to me before.  He and his wife are the ones you have brunch with,” Gina said.

              “Yes.  I purposely became friends with them so I could develop a rapport with him and we get along well.  Or at least we did.  I gave him and his wife, Maureen, a week to tell my sisters or I will.  So I don’t know when it will come out, but come out it will,” Rick said.  “You see, Geoff had an affair with my mother when he was in New York on business many years ago.  He and Maureen were separated at the time and, well, one thing led to another, and so here I am.”

              “Your mother never told him about you?” Gina said.

              “No.  My mother was a heartless, sadistic woman, who blamed me for everything that ever went wrong in her life,” Rick said. 
Flash!

              “That’s horrible!  It’s not your fault that she had an affair with a married man,” Gina said. 

              “Thanks.  She always taunted me about my father, how he was some high society snob and how he had made the wrong choice by going back to his wife, but she would never tell me his name.  One day I found my birth certificate, though.  I stole it and hid it.  She never found it, either.  I told myself that, one day, I’d find him,” Rick said.

              “Where is she now?” Gina asked.  “I’m assuming you don’t have contact with her.”
              “No.  She … died when I was twelve, thankfully,” Rick said.

              Gina placed a hand on his arm and found that he was trembling.  “Rick, are you all right?”

              Her touch was helpful to him.  “So far.  I was about ten when she married my stepfather, who adopted me.  His last name was Westlake and I’m proud to have his name.  He was a wonderful man; kind, intelligent, and humorous.  We really did travel the world, working as missionaries.  It was exciting going to all of those places and I learned so many things,” Rick said.  He laughed a little.  “I’m getting off my story.  Sorry.” 
Flash!

              Rick knew he had to hurry up and tell her the worst of it. 

              “It’s ok,” she said as she felt him tremble a little harder.  “Rick, what is it?  You’re shaking.”

              “I know.  This is what happens when I have to deal with all of this.  It’s why I don’t talk about myself.  Uh, ok.  My mother hated me, as I’ve said, and I hated her.  She did a lot of awful things to me when I was a kid.  Abusive things.  Locking me in a closet, down in the basement, steamer trunk, wherever she could when she thought I was being ‘bad’.  I was terrified of her and I didn’t know why she hated me so much.  Somehow, when I was ten, she charmed Emery, my stepfather, into marrying her.”

              Tears began rolling down Gina’s cheeks as she thought about all Rick had endured, but she didn’t interrupt him. 

              “It didn’t take him long to see what she was really like.  He protected me as much as he could, but, when he wasn’t around, it could be very bad.  One day, when I was twelve, Emery had gone into town and she started on me about something.  I don’t remember what now.” 
FLASH!

              He had to stop for several moments until the images subsided a little. 

              “She came at me with her favorite weapon, a riding crop.  She was a strong woman and when she was angry, she was even stronger.  I kept backing up across our parlor to get away from her.  Then I couldn’t go any further.  I stood up against the mantel and felt the poker behind me.  I was furious at this point and I was of an age when I was becoming more assertive.  She did not like that at all.  She hit me with that crop until finally I’d had enough,” he said.  His voice was a harsh rasp as he spoke, all of the fury and hatred for this horrible woman evident in his tone.

              “I picked up that poker and I struck her down.  I don’t remember anything after the first couple of times I hit her.  The next thing I knew Emery was leaning over me, shaking me.  When I opened my eyes, the room was full of blood and I was covered in it.  I killed my mother, Gina, and, to this day, I’m not sorry.  That makes me a murderer,” Rick said.

              Gina wept openly now.  “You were just a child, Rick.  You were defending yourself and after everything she had done to you for so long, who could blame you?”

              Rick crossed his arms over his chest in an attempt to get his shaking under control.  It didn’t work.  “Emery buried my mother in the woods in back of the house we lived in.  I was born in Canada, by the way, and we lived in British Columbia.  That’s when we started traveling all over the place.  Emery was protecting me in case any charges would have been brought against me.  He needn’t have worried, however, because she never associated with very many people, so she was never missed, I don’t think.

              “When I was in the North West Mounted Police, no one ever confronted me about it, so at that point I knew that my secret had died with Emery and I certainly wasn’t going to tell anyone about it,” Rick said. 

              “You’re Canadian and you were a mountie?” Gina said.