Madonna (25 page)

Not everyone invited was looking forward to the Hollywood hoopla. Madonna's maternal grandmother, seventy-three-year-old Elsie Fortin, announced prior to traveling to Los Angeles from Bay City, “I have second thoughts about going. Some days I feel like chickening out, especially when I think I've got to meet all those fancy Hollywood people.”
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She ended up relenting. Grandma Elsie was in for quite a show.

The night before the wedding, Sean and Madonna stayed at his parents' Malibu house so that they could be near the yet-to-be-revealed site of the next day's main event. The following day, at noon, the invited guests began to be informed as to the whereabouts of the wedding. It was to take place at the $6-million Malibu home of architect and real estate developer Kurt Unger, who was a family friend of the Penns.

According to British journalist Maggie Hall, “The whole thing was a promotional setup for Unger, because his house was up for sale. Unger was hoping that by staging the wedding there, it would be enough free advertising to sell the house. It wasn't. The day after the wedding, I went back to the house, knocked on the door, and was invited in. They were eager for a prospective buyer, and hoped that I was one, or knew oi one.

The house, which is located next door to Johnny Carson's Malibu digs, has a breathtaking view of the ocean from the seventy-five-foot cliff at the edge of the backyard. Located at a scenic bluff known as Point Dume. The safety railing that lined the cliffside was draped in white tulle the afternoon of the wedding, and billowing white canopies were set up in the yard surrounding the Olympic-sized swimming pool.

News of the locale of the wedding spread like a California brushfire, and it wasn't long before the media got wind of the site. Anticipating the outdoor event, the media had secured a half-dozen helicopters for the day and were prepared to do whatever it took to end up with exclusive photos of the matrimonial ceremony of the year.

At four o'clock in the afternoon, Madonna was in an upstairs room at Unger's ultramodern house laying out her trousseau when the press helicopters began buzzing overhead. The event had already acquired the earmarks of an all-day fiasco.

Security guards were positioned around the house, and they had already discovered one Italian photojournalist, wearing camouflage gear and combat makeup, crawling around in the bushes with his camera. Hot-tempered Sean decided that he would take matters into his own hands. Armed with what appeared to be a .45-caliber automatic pistol, Penn paced the grounds steaming with anger at the fact that the supposedly secret site of the wedding had been discovered. Dressed in a pair of black jeans, Sean crouched in the shrubery by the swimming pool, waiting for the next helicopter to buzz by. As it approached, Madonna leaned out of an upstairs window and vainly yelled at him not to do it.

Ignoring his fiancée, as one of the helicopters buzzed the property Sean leapt from his crouched position amid the foliage, aimed, and fired two shots at the intruding air vehicle.

“I'm not trying to hit it, I'm trying to scare it away,” he shouted back at Madonna, with a menacing look in his eyes.
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Pleased with his act of aggression, Sean had a sneer on his face as he turned and walked back inside the house.

After five o'clock, the 220 invited guests began to arrive. Since the legions of armed guards had blocked off the driveway to the Unger house, the guests had to park or be let off down the street, on Wildlife Road, and walk up the driveway. Several limousines pulled up to the Unger property and began letting out guests. Christopher Walken, Martin Sheen, Rosanna Arquette, Diane Keaton, Emilio Estevez, Carrie Fisher, Timothy Hutton, David Letterman, David Geffen, Candy Clark, and producer John Daly were among the rich and famous in attendance.

Cher arrived in an outrageous shag-cut purple wig and crucifix earrings, accompanied by her dates: short-time fiance Josh Donen and longtime friend and
Mask
co-star Eric Stoltz. Andy Warhol, who was Martin Burgoyne's guest, arrived with fellow-artist Keith Haring. The pair walked up to the house with several gifts of artwork: painted, mounted copies of the
New York Post
front pages with the headlines about her nude photos. According to Warhol, “We rode in a limo out to Malibu, and when we saw helicopters in the distance, we knew we were at the wedding. Somebody had tipped the reporters off about where the wedding was, and about ten helicopters were hovering, it was like
Apocalypse Nowl
”
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Sean's brother Chris came with his girlfriend, ice-skater Tai Bab-ilonia, while Madonna's family flew in from points all over the countryside. Her father, stepmother, and grandmother were all present to witness the ceremony.

According to Maggie Hall, “In the street outside of the house there were hundreds of press members gathered to see the display of stars who walked up the long driveway. I was shocked when I saw Madonna's grandmother having to trudge up the driveway on foot, and she had a look of dismay on her face when she saw the crowd she had to pass through to get to her granddaughter's wedding. Imagine that—even her grandmother had to run the gauntlet of the press to get to the event. You'd think that Madonna would have been considerate enough to have at least sent a golf cart down the driveway for her granny!”
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Friends and family members were seated on white folding chairs set up around the swimming pool and in rows near the cliff. Seating was arranged so that the couple could have their hands joined in matrimony on a small triangle of land that jutted out toward the ocean. The best man was
At Close Range
director Jamie Foley, and the maid of honor was Madonna's sister Paula.

At seven
P.M
. the bride and groom appeared on the lawn as the press helicopters circled overhead, fighting each other for the ultimate shot of the event. The groom wore a black double-breasted Gianni Versace suit and looked dashing. Much to everyone's relief, the bride did not wear black, except in her accessories.

Madonna's gown was a strapless white creation, low cut with a skirt composed of several layers of billowing tulle. With it she wore a sash of pink silk netting that had dried roses, pearls, and jewels encrusted on it. As an eccentric touch, on her head Madonna wore a black bowler hat, with a veil attached to it. Explained designer Marlene Stewart, “We wanted a fifties feeling—something Grace Kelly might have worn.”
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The ceremony, which only took five minutes, was performed by a local judge, John Merrick. Unfortunately, no one could hear a thing that was going on.

According to wedding guest John Daly, “They had a good, big kiss when they were pronounced man and wife and then they went into the house and up onto the balcony, where Madonna tossed her bouquet to her sister Paula. Then Sean disappeared under Madonna's dress, which got a big cheer from the crowd. He emerged with her garter, and threw it backward. His brother, Chris, caught it.”
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“That whole time was almost too much,” Madonna recalls of the event. “I mean, I didn't think I was going to be getting married with thirteen helicopters flying over my head. It turned into a circus.”
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One entire room of Unger's house was set aside for the wedding gifts, which were elaborate. Christopher Walken gave the couple an African sculpture; John Daly presented them with a silver tea service from 1912; and Mo Ostin, chairman of the board of Warner Bros. Records, gave them a vintage jukebox, complete with two dozen of Madonna's favorite singles.

When it came time to cut the five-tiered hazelnut wedding cake, for the first time all day Madonna seemed unsure of herself. Standing before the cake with a knife in her hands, she turned to purple-tressed Cher and asked about cake-cutting protocol. Cher gave her a surprised look, and later commented, “As if I know.”
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Madonna then turned to other guests and inquired whether or not she should serve the cake on individual plates. In her own unconventional fashion, she was soon cutting up cake and passing it to people with her hands.

After serving up several handfuls of cake, Madonna and Sean prepared to feed each other pieces of cake. The pair ended up smearing cake and icing on each other's faces.

There was of course at least one mishap involving Sean and someone bearing a camera. Photographer Kip Rano had somehow gotten past security, and Sean spied his camera under his suit jacket.

“Suddenly he threw two punches at me, which I blocked. Then we were wrestling and fell to the floor. The security people pulled him off me and escorted me to the gate.”
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Rano's film was ripped out of his camera, and he was promptly expelled from the premises.

From that point on, the wedding became one big party, with dancing and carrying on, especially since the pressure was off, and the helicopters had gone home so that the photographers could go home and develop their aerial pictures of the ceremony.

Disc jockey Terrance Toy was among the soundmen at the event. When it came time for the couple's wedding dance, Toy programmed Sarah Vaughan's “I'm Crazy About the Boy.” There was a ban on Madonna music at the wedding, but somehow “Lucky Star” and “Into the Groove” found their way onto the turntable. Quipped Terrance, “I didn't

At one point Madonna was having fun on the dance floor with a young man who was a dead ringer for Prince, and ever-jealous Sean shot several dirty looks at his new bride. But for the most part, even volatile Penn unwound and had a good time, when he wasn't beating up photographers. The reception lasted until four o'clock in the morning, at which point the bride and groom retired for the night, totally exhausted. Later that day they left for their next “top secret” destination: the honeymoon.

The place that the couple escaped to—
sans
helicopters—was the exclusive Highlands Inn, located in Carmel, California. Madonna checked into Suite 429, which is the honeymoon suite. At $225 per night, it came complete with wall-to-wall mirrors, a sunken bathtub, and a balcony private enough for nude sunbathing. Members of the room service staff were reportedly drawing straws for a chance to deliver something to the Penns' love pen. Madonna maintained her vegetarian diet, breakfasting on raspberries and cream. When the pair emerged from their suite, Madonna wore a brimmed hat and looked at the ground when she walked. One night the Inn opened their restaurant after hours so that the couple could dine in total privacy.

While the couple was enjoying their honeymoon, and the public was avidly reading the press reports about the
Apocalypse Now
ceremony that joined them, several people were already wondering how long this marriage would last. Madonna loved to flirt and had longed her entire life to become a star, to see her name in print, and to have her photo taken. Sean was withdrawn and insanely jealous, grew up in a Hollywood fishbowl, hated publicity, and kept himself busy beating up anyone he ran into who brandished a camera. It was a difficult match from the start.

“I have a theory that she just married into the Penn family to meld herself into Hollywood, and that Madonna just used him for his contacts,” said one family friend who was at the Unger estate the day they wed.
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Even Madonna's old manager, Camille Barbone, put her two cents' worth in: “The relationship is stormy and violent. I don't think the marriage will last.”
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According to Andy Warhol's infamous diary, Madonna was mad at him. Said the entry, dated September 4, Madonna complained to Martin Burgoyne, who in turn told Keith Haring, who then told Warhol. Apparently she was steamed that Andy and Keith had posed for
People
magazine's photographers when they arrived at her wedding. They were depicted as part of the publication's “Madonna Weds Sean” cover story that week. Warhol and Haring were photographed bearing mounted copies of
New York Post
front pages with headlines about Madonna's nude photos. Madonna might have been an expert at manipulating the media, but she could never hope to control it.

On September 19, Madonna and Sean were caught on film in New York—obstructing the photographer by holding their coats over their heads. Two days later,
sans
coats, Madonna and Sean were photographed shopping on Madison Avenue. Both sets of photos were immediately published in the daily newspapers.

On October 1,
A Certain Sacrifice
hit the video stores. Throughout that same month, the press was reporting that Sean and Madonna were already fighting. There was one story circulating that they were going to make an appearance at a peace rally together, and when Sean refused to go as planned, Madonna left their apartment in a door-slamming huff. There were also several reports that she had gained eleven pounds since her marriage, and talk was rampant that she was several months pregnant.

On the 17th of October, Sean appeared in court in Nashville to answer the charges against him for assaulting the pair of British photographers in June. He pleaded no contest, and ended up with a $100 fine and a suspended 180-day jail sentence.

At the Nashville airport Sean spotted a journalist with a camera. “I wish I had AIDS so I could shoot you. I wouldn't do it fast, but slow, from the toes up,” he told him.
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In early November, Madonna was in New York to host the 1985–1986 season opening show of “Saturday Night Live.” It was a great showcase for her comedic talents, and would be a great personal success for her.

Delivering her opening monologue, Madonna appeared in a blue hooded jogging suit, sunglasses, and a fur boa. She introduced herself, then said, “I'd like to clear up a few things about my wedding.” With that she proceeded to explain that the wedding was not supposed to be a secret, as she held up a mock full-page ad in the
Los Angeles Times
headlined,
MADONNA'S WEDDING TODAY-EVERYBODY INVITED… B.Y.O.B
.
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