Lynx Loving (11 page)

Krista sucked in a quick breath and sniffled.

“I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you, but I was too damn ensnared by my guilt and what our being together might do to my family to do anything about it. When we went on that trip, and we finally acknowledged the chemistry between us, I was blown away. Once things went to shit, I realized that I had done the exact same thing to yet another woman I loved more than life itself.”

“Landon,” Krista whispered.

Dylan rolled his eyes and groaned.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. He directed his gaze back to everyone else. “I knew I had to deal with my past if I wanted to be with Krista.” He looked down at the black urn. “That is why I had to leave, find mother’s body, and bring her back here. I wanted to have a ceremony for her, something we never really had the opportunity to do, and give all of us the chance to say goodbye together.”

Nyssa sobbed, ran to Landon, and embraced him. “This is the most wonderful thing ever, brother. We can set her free, here with us, and she can be at peace. Thank you.”

Dylan, Thomas, and Garrett all gathered around him and hugged him one by one, thanking him. Once things settled down, Landon cleared his throat.

“Now that I have brought my mother home to all of us and thought long and hard about my mistakes, I’ve come to terms with my past. My sister chose to forgive me, and we are all here. I cannot allow my guilt to take away from that precious gift, nor can I allow it to ruin the chance to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love.” He looked at Krista. “I love you. More than anything.” He smiled at her before turning his gaze to Brady. “And whether you like it or not, I consider you a brother now. I love your sister, and if you want to kick my ass every day from now on, so be it. But be warned that from this day on, I will fight back, and no matter what you do, I still love your sister and will be with her, if she’ll have me.”

After a few silent, intense moments, Brady’s frame relaxed and he blew out a long sigh. “If my sister chooses to be with you, if you are what truly makes her happy, then I will accept that. But if you hurt her again, I will rip you a new one.”

“If I hurt her again, I’ll rip myself a new one,” Landon said.

* * * *

K
rista’s head spun. She didn’t know what to say. Her heart soared in joy, but the pain Landon had caused her was still fresh. She turned and made her way outside to the porch.

Within a few minutes, Landon joined her. “Will you be able to forgive me one day?”

She turned to him, swiping the tears from her cheeks. “I understand why you had to do what you had to do.” She reached for one of his big hands and held it between her own smaller ones. “I’m happy that you found your mother’s remains and were able to bring her here for a proper ceremony.” She sighed and dropped his hand then turned to lean against the rail.

“But?”

“Oh, Landon,” she whispered. “When you left without a word, I didn’t know what it meant. At first, I convinced myself that you just needed some time to deal. But after a week then two went by?” She shrugged.

“Damn it. It was a mistake not telling you I was leaving, but I didn’t want to make any promises when I had no idea how long I’d be gone. I knew I couldn’t be the man you deserved until I let go of my past.” He groaned. “Did all of this backfire on me? Did I end up losing you anyway?”

She turned and looked up into his gorgeous face. Damn she’d missed him, and every fiber of her being wanted to jump on him, wrap her arms around him, kiss him silly, and never let him go again. But her heart still ached with the pain it had suffered not knowing if or when he’d ever return. That hurt was strong enough to give her pause, to make her cautious about surrendering herself to him.

She knew if she gave him her heart, and he trampled it again, there would be no going back. A part of her was terrified he would do just that. If he did, she’d have no choice but to face reality and admit that they would never happen. On the other hand, the joy of his return, of his declaration of love in front of everyone, filled her with hope and determination that she could have a lifetime with the man she loved, if she chose.

“I don’t think I could take it if you hurt me again,” she said.

He cupped her face and stared into her eyes, stirring need for him to instant life. “I give you my word that I will never hurt you again. I will never turn my back on you, and I will stand by your side until the very end. I need you. You are my heart, and I can’t imagine living in this world without you.”

“I need some time to think,” she choked around a sob.

Tears spilled down her cheeks again, and he wiped them away with his thumbs. He dropped to his knees in front of her and rested his cheek against her stomach before hugging her to him. “Take whatever time you need. I will wait. I love you more than anything. I know pushing you away was a shitty, hurtful thing to do. My guilt made me believe that you would be better off without me, that our family might fall apart if they didn’t accept us as a couple. I was wrong. So wrong.”

“I need to check on Sam,” she said.

He stood. “Would it be okay if I came along? I didn’t get much of a chance to see him earlier, and I would like to officially meet him.”

“Sure. Let me get my coat.” She started for the door. “Do you need yours?”

He grinned at her. “No. My long sleeves are warm enough for me.”

“You always do run hot.” Damn. The man could melt her with that perfect, full-lipped grin.

After bundling up in her coat and letting Brady know where she was going, she and Landon headed for the trail that cut through and joined her and Brady’s property. Fortunately, the snow wasn’t too deep on the trail.

“If you have a shovel at the shelter, I’ll get rid of some of the snow for you,” Landon offered.

“I would be grateful,” she said. “I’ve decided to name it KCS for Krista’s Cat Sanctuary.”

“I like it. I’m surprised you already have a resident though.”

“Yes. Sam just kind of happened. I wasn’t planning on taking any cats in until all of the enclosures and runs were complete, but I couldn’t turn my back on him. They were going to euthanize him. I’ll never understand what possesses anyone to think they can raise a wild animal in their home,”

“They see them as cute, cuddly, and irresistible. They don’t realize what they are getting themselves in for,” he said.

“I know. I want to find a way to raise more awareness about the dangers of taking in a wild animal. Not only to people, but to the animal as well.” Sadness settled inside her when she thought of all of the animals and people that had gotten hurt or lost their lives because of naiveté.

“I think that’s an excellent idea. I would love to be a part of all of it.”

“I—”

“No pressure. Whatever you decide about us, I would still like to help with the shelter.”

“I can use all of the help I can get,” she said.

Her heart pitter pattered in an excited rhythm at the thought of Landon being involved in the shelter. Could it really be true that they were free to be together now? That they could both let go of past hurts and finally be happy?

When they reached the shelter, Sam was nowhere to be found, which told her he was tucked safely inside. He had a huge pen with a tree in the middle and a big indoor space for protection from the weather.

“Looks as though Sam doesn’t want to get to know anyone right now,” Landon said.

“That’s okay. I don’t blame him. It’s cold and wet out here.”

“It wouldn’t be bad in cat form,” he told her.

“No. It wouldn’t. I think my cat kind of enjoys the snow. Probably because my human side prefers to stay dry and is cold natured.”

“We could take a run.”

“You know, I haven’t shifted for a while with everything that has been going on. My cat has not been happy about that. I could handle a short run,” she said. “Come on.” She motioned for him to follow her.

Once they reached the supply building, she stripped in the bathroom and shifted. He’d done the same in the main room and now they were running through the woods. The heavy tree coverage helped keep the snow accumulation shallow, making their journey easier.

Lynx were normally territorial and did not maintain close living spaces to one another. But Krista had been raised with Brady and was used to having another cat around, and Landon had been raised with a whole community of shifters. It was something many of their remaining species did for protection and better chance of survival.

Krista looked up at the nearly full moon peeking through the treetops. It was a clear, cold night and her breaths painted foggy patches in the air. The sound of Landon climbing a tree beside her startled her from her daydreaming, and she followed him.

They climbed until the branches became too thin to safely support their weight then they both picked a limb to lay on. It was silent. No crickets, no frogs, no nothing in the cold night. Just silence. The background provided a perfect setting for meditation, but that was something she’d have to do without distractions, and Landon was a huge distraction.

Ever since he’d returned, she wanted him. Having him close and not touching him was torture. She wanted to be with him, but that small, scared part of her held her back. He was her soul mate. It was something she’d felt since she’d first met him. Why couldn’t she just forgive and forget...move past everything that had happened and be happy with him? Deep down she knew that would happen, eventually. Right now, the pain of his leaving was still too raw.

Landon suddenly stood up, and she looked at him. His cat form was as huge and gorgeous as his human form. He cocked his head to the side, hissed, then bolted down the tree. All of the fur on her back stood on end. What the hell was going on? Then the scent of blood hit her. Not human. Tiger.
Oh my God. Something is wrong with Sam
.

She rushed down the tree after Landon, but he was already out of sight. By the time she reached the shelter, she came to a screeching halt. A naked Landon was standing by Sam’s pen, gate open, trying to coax the tiger back into the enclosure with a hunk of meat. She was scared for Landon because although Sam was only eight months old, he was huge and could seriously maim or kill without much effort.

“Don’t make one single move, Krista,” Landon said in a hushed, calm tone careful not to spook Sam.

Frozen to the spot as she was, she didn’t think she could move a muscle if she wanted to. After a few agonizing moments, Sam crept up to Landon. He tossed the meat inside the pen, and Sam went for it. But not before taking a swipe at Landon’s leg.

“I’m okay,” he said, as though knowing she’d be worried about how bad he was injured. “Go inside and get dressed.”

Without arguing, she sprinted to the supply shed, not knowing how she ever made it on her jelly-like legs. After shifting, she struggled to dress with shaking fingers, and just as she pulled her coat on, Landon appeared.

He was still naked, and she couldn’t help but appreciate his sculpted body. “Are you okay?” She looked at the blood dripping down his leg.

“Yes.”

The way he stared at her made her go warm inside. “Let me look at it...um, I mean the injury.”

He cleared his throat as he reached for the jeans he’d discarded near the door earlier. After tugging them on, he toed his boots on. “You can look at it after I fix Sam’s enclosure.”

“Sam! I nearly forgot. How did he get out?”

“A couple of boards on his house came loose at the bottom. My guess is that the moisture from the snow against the new wood allowed the screws to loosen. Sam probably shifted his weight against the soft spot at some point in time and the boards gave way. He has a slight scratch on his back leg. I saw it when I was coaxing him back to his pen. It was superficial, but bled a bit, which was fortunate since it alerted us that something was wrong right away.”

“It’s my fault,” she said. “I’m responsible. I should have made sure everything was secure. I should have checked.”

“You can’t possibly catch everything one hundred percent of the time. Do you have tools here?” She nodded toward the back room. He disappeared in the back then returned with a drill and screws. “I’ll be right back.”

Fear settled inside her. She screwed up, and her mistake could have had a much more dire outcome. She would have to put stringent safety routine checks in effect from now on. What if Landon had been killed? She sucked in a deep breath.

“No,” she whispered to the empty room.

That was when she knew she wouldn’t again allow anything from the past to get in the way of her being with Landon. Life was too unpredictable, and she’d—they’d—missed out on too much because of grudges and magnified, misplaced guilt.

W
hen Landon returned from fixing Sam’s enclosure, Krista launched herself into his arms, nearly knocking them both over.

The drill dropped to the floor with a
thud
, and he wrapped his arms around her as she began to sob against his bare chest.

“Hey, what’s this all about, sugar?”

“How in the hell are you outside in this freezing weather without a shirt on, and you’re still warm?” she choked out the words.

“I was starting to get a bit cold out there.”

“I’m so sorry...about everything,” she whispered.

He tipped her chin up with one finger and stared down at her, a frown marring his face. “What are you sorry for? I told you I wasn’t hurt that bad. It’s not your fault. These things are bound to happen on occasion when you are working with predators. We’ll just have to be more careful in the future.”

She smiled up at him and nodded. “Yes,
we
will.”

“
We
will?”

“Yes. I don’t want to waste any more time being apart. When I saw Sam take a swipe at you, I realized that life is precious and that all the other bullshit doesn’t matter if it keeps you away from the one person you love most. I want us to be together. I want us to run this place as a team.” She frowned. “Is that something you would even like?”

“Yes to all of it. My feelings have not changed for you. I love you. I want to spend my life with you. And I would be honored to be a part of KCS.”