Lynx Loving (5 page)

He wasn’t worried about what she’d do to him while he slept. He was worried about what they might end up doing to each other in that big bed while awake.

“I’m going to the lobby to call your brother,” he said.

“I’ll come with you.” She started putting her coat on.

“I can make it on my own.”

“I’m sure you can, but I’m still coming with you.” She opened the door and motioned with her hand. “After you.”

Knowing he’d never win this argument, his shoulders dropped, and he exited the room. The bitter cold bit into his flesh, and he stuck his hands in his pocket. While it was true he healed fast like others of his species, when he was moderately injured, his body temperature dropped. Later it would spike, he’d run a fever, then he’d be back to somewhat normal by morning. He didn’t plan on burdening Krista with that news as he was certain the fever would take its course while she slept.

The call to Brady went better than he thought it would, other than the part where he threatened to pull Landon’s head through his own ass if he didn’t put Krista on the phone so he could hear for himself that she was okay.

After ordering a pizza to be delivered, they returned to the room.

“Well, at least he didn’t threaten to kill you.” Krista laughed.

“Not exactly,” Landon agreed.

A shiver racked his body, and she frowned. “Are you okay?”

She was too observant. “Yes.”

She cocked her head to the side and came to stand in front of him where he sat on the edge of the bed. “You’re pale. Are you cold? You never get cold.”

“I’m fine. Sometimes when I’m injured, my body temp drops for a while. Don’t worry about it. By morning, I’ll be as good as new.”

She pulled the blanket down and wrapped it around his shoulders. “Better?”

He grinned at her. “Yes, but I’ll be okay.”

“It’s my turn for the shower.” She scrounged around in her belongings then made her way to the bathroom.

Even feeling like shit couldn’t stop him from watching her walk away. She had the kind of figure, curvy but toned, that could make any man long to touch her. Until they’d kissed, he’d kept his distance. An innocent brush of some obscure body part here and there was inevitable with them all crammed into Brady’s house, but that was all he’d allowed. He’d longed for more between them. But the knowledge that being with Krista would only piss off her brother, thus piss off Nyssa, forced Landon to keep his yearnings in check.

Now that he’d tasted her, touched her soft skin, he’d never be able to return to the days of fooling himself into believing he’d be able to keep his hands off her. When they returned, he’d have to move on. Put some distance between them for a while. It was time for him to find his own place anyway. He wouldn’t go far because he wouldn’t put Nyssa in a position where she felt she couldn’t count on him, but he couldn’t continue to stay under the same roof with Krista and remain a saint.

The pizza had been delivered, and after she finished showering, they sat together at the small table eating. He’d nearly stopped shivering which was an indicator that fever would soon follow.

“Did you have a happy childhood?” She took a bite of pizza then reached to break a string of cheese, making a bridge between her lips and the slice.

He leaned against the backrest and let his mind travel to the past. “For the most part. My father was overbearing and ruthless at times, but my mother...” He shook his head, trying to dislodge the pain of loss from the happy memories dancing in his brain. “My mother was a kind, generous, loving person. She made my father a better man.”

Krista smiled. “I bet your mom had her hands full with the five of you.”

“Yeah...” he trailed off.

“What is it?”

“I miss her,” he said. “I failed her.”

Krista reached for his hand and covered it with her own. “You didn’t fail her.”

“Nyssa was her baby. The only girl. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that mom was the one who kept dad in line, who protected Nyssa from things he
thought
were best for Nyssa. Once mother was gone, I should have taken care of Nyssa better. It’s my fault she ran away. It’s my fault she was terrified and on the run from an abusive asshole for so many years.”

“You know, I’ve talked with Nyssa about this.” She paused and looked at him, mid-bite. “Nothing specific about you, your brothers, or blame. Just the general situation and experience. She’s accepted it, says it was something that needed to happen since it led her to my brother. She’s moved past it, and she wants you, Dylan, Thomas, and Garrett to do the same.”

“It’s...difficult.” He set the rest of the slice of uneaten pizza on the table.

“You know what’s more difficult?”

“What’s that?”

“Enjoying and loving your family when you are riddled with guilt and insecurities,” she said. “You’ll never be happy until you let it go.”

“So young yet so wise.” He smiled.

“I’m not that young. And I’m human...well, most of me, anyway.” She winked at him. “We all have our demons to deal with. I’ve had mine. Guilt is not healthy. It holds you down. You have to figure out a way to cope with and accept the things life throws at you. Learn from them and let them guide you to not make the same mistakes.”

He’d never really shared his feelings over Nyssa with anyone. Not even with his brothers. Krista made him feel better. She was like a magic salve, soothing to his guilty conscience, but she also made him long for things he couldn’t have...her. Even if he could find a way to let go of the remorse over his complicity affecting Nyssa’s life, he couldn’t risk Brady’s possible unforgiving ire over a relationship with his sister.

Brady was protective of Krista, and Landon was the last person who could blame Brady for that. If he couldn’t accept a relationship between Landon and Krista, things could get tense fast and have long-term ramifications. He sighed. He was tired, his brain was exhausted from the internal struggle with his heart, and fever was creeping through his system.

“I’m going to lie down,” he said. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Thank you for talking to me.”

She smiled, but her eyes were filled with longing and regret. He knew this because he’d seen the same emotions reflected in the mirror many times. He made his way to the bed, his limbs heavy and lethargic, rearranged the blanket, then climbed on the mattress. “I’ll sleep on top of the comforter,” he murmured. “You can sleep under.” Careful to arrange himself as close to the edge as possible to allow her plenty of room without touching him—as he doubted his self-control at this point—he closed his eyes.

* * * *

K
rista stared at Landon as she gnawed her pinkie nail. About two minutes after his head had hit the pillow, he’d fallen asleep. She was worried about him. The fine sheen of sweat covering his pale skin told her he wasn’t feeling well. While he’d warned her that fever was a normal process for him to go through after such an injury, it didn’t mean she had to like it.

“Oh, Landon. How will I ever get you to see that us being together would not be the end of the world?” she whispered.

Brady might be pissed, but he’d been pissed about every single man she’d ever shown interest in. He’d get over it, and it certainly wouldn’t break their family up. She didn’t believe her brother would make her choose between him and the man she loved.

Neither could she dismiss Landon’s overwhelming guilt or loyalty to his sister. She understood why he wanted to avoid causing problems, but the fact that he would put aside his own happiness to do so made her sad...and perhaps a bit angry if she was being honest.

She retrieved her e-reader from her bag and eased into bed beside him. Frowning, she came to the realization that this may be the only time she’d share a bed with Landon. Her chest ached, longing for all of the future mornings she’d wake up without him beside her.
Pointless to torture yourself over this.

She couldn’t make him love her any more than she could make him feel any less responsible for Nyssa’s time on the run. Sighing, Krista powered on the reader. Maybe a happily ever after romance would soothe her.
Not
.

S
tartling awake, Krista glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Three in the morning. Then the furnace blast of heat hit her. She turned to Landon and found him drenched in sweat. Even his short, dark hair was plastered to his head. After placing her hand on his forehead, she gasped. His skin was on fire.

“This can’t be normal,” she muttered to herself as she got out of bed.

Hurrying to the bathroom, she got a hand towel, wash cloth, and the ice bucket. After rushing outside, she filled the bucket halfway with ice from the machine that was located a few feet to the left of their door, returned to the room, and added water.

She sat next to Landon and dropped both cloths in the cold water. After letting them sit for a minute in the icy bath, she wrung the hand towel out and draped it over his forehead. Then she took the washcloth and began wiping the sweat from his skin.

“Landon, can you hear me?”

When he moaned in response but didn’t open his eyes, her concern kicked up a notch. She needed to get him cooled down faster. Hurrying to the bathroom, she turned the shower on cold.

Returning to Landon, she shook him by the shoulders. “You have to get up.” When he swiped at her hands, she shook him harder. “Open your eyes and look at me, damn it!”

“Krista?” He squinted at her.

“Sit up, Landon.” She tugged at him until he complied. “Get up.”

“Too tired. Need to sleep,” his words slurred.

When he tried to lie back down, she pulled at him harder. “No. I need you.”

He frowned. “Something wrong, sugar?”

“Yes.” If this was how she had to motivate him, so be it. “I need your help with something. Please come with me.” He struggled to get up, and she led him to the shower. When she shoved him under the cold spray, he was not happy.

He tried to push past her, but she blocked his way. When he came at her again, she knew she’d have to use extreme measures. She stood on tiptoe, kissed him, and pushed him back at the same time. When the water hit her, she barely kept from screeching. She hated being cold, but soon, she realized it wasn’t so bad when she was pressed up against Landon’s heat, kissing him.

“Sorry, but you have to stay in here for a few minutes.” She snuggled against his chest and held them both under the spray.

Ten minutes later, uncontrollable shivers racked her body, and Landon felt considerably cooler. She turned the tap off and got them both a towel.

“What the hell is going on?” he whispered.

“Your fever almost boiled your brain.”

He followed her out of the bathroom, and she began yanking off her wet clothes while her teeth clattered. Once she was naked and wrapped in the towel, she realized the room was deathly silent...and that she’d just stripped naked in front of Landon.

Her mind had been too occupied with getting warm, and the logic that should have warned her not to undress in front of him had been absent...until now. She turned to find him watching her from across the room, pinning her with his dark stare.

Too late for regret and false modesty now.
Swallowing past the lump in her throat and ignoring the rush of heat through her veins, she went to him.

“You need to get out of your clothes,” she said. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes. Thank you.” He cupped her cheek.

She smiled up at him. “You’re welcome.” She tugged at his wet T-shirt. “A little help?”

He lifted his arms, and she worked the shirt up to his biceps, but he had to finish as she wasn’t tall enough to reach. She sucked in a breath. True, she’d seen him without his shirt on many times at home when he was working outside or playing football with his brothers and Brady, but never in an intimate one-on-one setting such as this.

He was sculpted to perfection. Golden skin hugging and defining every inch of muscle across his broad chest, shoulders, arms, and shredded abs made her mouth water. She wanted to lick the droplets of water from every inch of his body.

She reached for the button at the waist of his jeans, and he covered her fingers with his hand, stilling her progress. “This isn’t a good idea.”

“But I want you,” she whispered. She looked up into his eyes. “Always have.”

She leaned forward and nibbled his chest then looked up at him. His lips were drawn in a thin line, and a tic started in his jaw. Then it dawned on her. Maybe his guilt over Nyssa and not wanting to do anything to piss off her brother weren’t the only reasons why he didn’t want to pursue a relationship with her. Maybe he didn’t want her. He might be attracted to her, but maybe that was all it was for him.

“I’m an idiot,” she mumbled. Her lip began to quiver.

“Why would you say that?”

She shrugged. “If you don’t want me, you could just say so.”

“Excuse me?” He placed his hands on either side of her neck and let his thumbs rest just on her jawlines.

“Nothing,” she went to pull away, but he dropped his hands and encircled her wrists with his fingers.

“You know I want you. That is the one thing that can never be doubted.”

“
Wanting
me and wanting
me
are two different things.”

His brows knitted together. “Wait... What?”

“You just want to have sex with me, don’t you? That’s what all of this trying not to touch me is about. You don’t want anything else other than that. No relationship. That’s why you’ve denied us being together. That’s why you know my brother would be furious because he would beat your ass for using me that way.”

A low growl resonated through his chest and up his throat. “That is not true. I am in fucking agony every minute I’m around you. Thinking about kissing you, holding you, waking up with you every morning, having you in my life as more than just a soon to be sister-in-law drives me insane. Do you have any idea what it is like for me to listen to your magical laughter or see your full lips when they pose in that perfect pout, or...Damn it, just to look at you and not be able to touch you?”