Lunangelique (The Lunangelique Series) (16 page)

I can tell she bought the lie; there is no suspicion in her eyes. “Yeah, I wish I knew what it was about. Ollie’s grip on my hand really hurt when he saw him.” I notice she is holding her hand, trying to massage the pain away.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just a little sore. I don’t even think he noticed he did it.”

“I’m sorry.” I feel like I have to apologize.

“Don’t be. It’s okay. Do you want me to ask him about Cole now?”

“No. Please,” I beg. “Don’t say anything. If you have to just mention something then as about the look he gave him. But don’t pry. I’ll get answers from Cole. He owes me that.” I give her a knowing look and she brings me in for a hug.

“I think he does too,” she says.

Just then, the school Principal comes onto the microphone and asks if everyone is having a good time. There are cheers and hoots from all corners. Then she congratulates our football team for winning our first home game. The crowd hoots and hollers even louder than before.

Clara is standing up now looking everywhere for Ollie. They’re about to announce the Homecoming King and Queen and he’s not here yet. I tell her I’m going to go to the other side of the gymnasium to look for him. I’m looking for Cole too, but I don’t see either one of them.

The principal starts her speech about the tradition of Homecoming King and Queen and how it’s not a popularity contest.
Yeah right. Does she expect us to buy that load of crap?
She announces the King nominees and there are cheers after each one is named. Then, she announces the nominees for Queens and there are more cheers for each girl. The drum roll starts and I cross my fingers.
Alex and Kaitlyn. Alex and Kaitlyn. Alex and Kaitlyn.

“Our Homecoming King is…Alexander Hillevi!” The principal announces.

“Yes!” I shout out loud. I see Alex and Kaitlyn kiss, both of them beaming at each other. They look surprised and extremely happy. I’m so happy for them. But I don’t know why they are surprised. I look over to Clara and see she is clapping for them with a big smile on her face. Her eyes look disappointed though. I know she’s more disappointed that Ollie didn’t return than not winning.

Alex goes up on stage and bends over to have his crown placed on his head. He keeps his eyes on Kaitlyn, never releasing his gaze, full of smiles.

“And now for our Homecoming Queen,” the principal announces and the drum roll last longer. The principal reads the sheet of paper with the winner on it and her smile widens. “Kaitlyn Notten!”

Of course. I start to walk over to her but I doubt she notices, her eyes never moved away from Alex’s. She’s already making her way on to stage so I keep walking to go back to Clara but then I notice Ollie is back and is talking to her, probably apologizing for hurting her hand since he is rubbing it gently. I look back around the room and notice Cole still isn’t back yet. Where is he?

I decide to continue my walk towards Clara. “Hey,” I say, trying to get their attention. Ollie looks at me with newfound curiosity and anger. Great. I made his shit list now. I don’t think I want to get in a confrontation with him. He might ‘rip me apart’. I ignore him and talk to Clara, “I’m going to take off now. Will you let Alex and Kaitlyn know?”

“Sure, hon. Take care.” She gives me a little hug.

When I go out to my car I notice a lonely figure standing with his back leaning up against a car. He has his hands over his face and his body language is screaming stress. I walk past the figure towards my car and tell him, “I need to talk to you.”

“I can’t tonight. I have to…go talk to someone,” he tells me.

“Who? Your
master
?” I call back and hear him gasp. I get into my car and drive home, fast.

Chapter 12

When I get home I rush to my room and turn on the light in my bedroom. I have a plan. Mom and dad are out of town this weekend. They went on a boating expedition with some of their friends along the eastern coastline. They told us we could have people over since it was Homecoming weekend and they expected we would do it anyways. I know Alex has plans with Kaitlyn, just Kaitlyn. I have plans of my own.

I pull my laptop out from under my bed and look up Cole and Ollie’s last names. Their names are just as questionable as Edmund’s last name. Just because, I look up all of their first names too. Then, I type up more ‘evidence’ to the growing list of ‘weird happenings’.

Oliver: army, warrior. Samson: sun.

Cole: charcoal. One with dark features.

Astaroth: demonology text refers to masculine demon!?!

Ollie and Cole’s conversation: more of your kind, someone’s wings, master, accomplish a goal, fallen?

Then at the bottom of that I write:

Please, if you Love me, tell me what it means.

I copy the dream I had of his voice, the night I fell asleep on the beach and add it to the bottom of the list. I know it fits. I know now that he was telling me something while I was unconscious because he was afraid, or couldn’t, tell me while I was awake.

I hit the print button, save the document, and slide the laptop back under my bed. I hurry up, gathering a few items around my room and run downstairs to retrieve the paper from my parent’s printer. Then I lock up the house and run across the street to Cole’s.

I know from my frequent visits over here that he has a bad habit of leaving his back door unlocked. I push at the door and it slides right open. I don’t know when he is going to come back so I hurry over to the stairs and leave the ‘weird happenings’ evidence sheet on the bottom step. Then, I proceed up the stairs to his bedroom. I’m going to wait him out; even if it takes all night for him to ‘talk’ to someone and come back. I will wait for as long as it takes. I’ll wait forever.

*

It feels like I do wait forever. I waited so long that I fell asleep, which is why I planned on waiting in his bedroom. Last thing I remember was looking at the clock to see that it was after two o’clock in the morning. If he had gone back to the Homecoming dance he would have been there till about eleven. That left him with three hours to go ‘talk’ to someone. What if he didn’t ever come back? What if Ollie or Samson or whoever he is scared him off? These thoughts haunt me as I wait for him and finally fall asleep.

When I wake up it’s to a voice talking to me softly. Calling my name. I open my eyes and notice its pitch black in the room.
I thought the light had been on when I fell asleep?
I look around and notice a dark figure standing by the bedroom door.

“Cole?” My voice is weak from sleep. I feel a stab of fear that the figure is not Cole. Why is he just standing there?

The figure starts walking towards me and I breathe a sigh of relief that it is him. He comes over and kneels on the side of the bed. His hand comes up to stroke my face and hair.

“Under any other circumstances I would have been so happy to come home and find you in my bed,” he says softly to me. There is a longing in his voice and deep sadness. He’s not looking forward to this conversation.

We stay still for awhile, just looking into each other’s eyes through the darkness. I don’t know what he is going to tell but I’m ready and strong enough for the worse, since it’s already what I am expecting, even as crazy as it is to believe. Though, if I’m honest with myself, I’ve always believed. I’ve believed in every impossibility.

The silence between us grows as neither of us wants to be the first one to speak. I know he’s afraid I’ll be mad at him for what he is going to tell me. He’s trying to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.

I finally cave first, wanting him to know that I’m not going to be mad at him. I don’t speak but I pull on his arm to pull him into the bed with me. He doesn’t give in to me. Instead he does the opposite. He gets up and turns around, walking away from the bed. I sit up onto my knees and wait for him to speak. I feel that he’s ready too.

“With everything you
think
you know,” he pauses and shakes his head. “Or maybe you do know.” He pauses again and takes a deep breath. “You being here, right now… does this mean you can forgive me?”

“Yes,” I whisper the word to him because he has been keeping his voice at a whisper too.

“How?” He turns back to me and his eyes are pleading but full of sorrow.

There is a main reason ‘how’ but I’m not going to tell him that, yet. “Because if you ever meant to hurt me, you’ve had more than enough opportunities to do it. Because I can see that you are remorseful. And because…” I pause, having to swallow the lump that got stuck in my throat. I can’t say it. I can’t tell him. But he can read it in my eyes.

He walks over slowly, hesitantly, covering the few steps that separate us. I look up at him and he urges me to continue my sentence, “Because?” I notice his eyes are beseeching me, begging me to tell him. It causes an instinct that makes my eyes water.

I can’t say it, so I tell him something else that has already been said tonight. “Because you told Ollie that you loved me.” I drop my head down. Embarrassed to have said it out loud, but still it’s not as embarrassing as what I wanted to say.

He puts his arms around me, still hesitating, waiting to see if I will push him away. I throw my arms around his middle and let the tears spill over.

“I do love you.” I finally hear him tell
me
. It makes me laugh, filling me with such happiness and joy. I squeeze him tighter and then let go to get higher ground on him, sitting up higher on my knees to kiss him.

And now, the words that were so hard to say earlier. The words that, before, were frightening to say, come out so freely. “I love you.”

He kisses me again, deeper, longer, with more urgency, more passion, more abandon than ever before. He breaks away from the kiss to ask me, “how?”

“I’ve already told you,” I tell him. “For the same reasons I can forgive you. For this.” And I kiss him again so he can feel my love.

He breaks away from me, again. And I feel scorned. He holds me at arm’s length and starts talking, again. “But, you don’t know all of it. You don’t know why and I need you to hear the whole story, everything, before you can say you love me.”

He looks so sad, so torn. Wanting to tell me but not wanting to, in fear of losing me. But I know enough and I tell him so. “I know the worse. And I know that no matter how bad it is, I
can’t
stop the feelings I have for you. So it doesn’t matter. If it is worse, then what?” I shrug my shoulders. “I get mad at you, don’t want to see you, speak to you, but still have the ache in my heart that happens when I’m not with you. I walk around an empty shell, missing you like hell.” I shut up quickly. Maybe that was the wrong choice of words. If he is from hell then I’m sure he doesn’t miss it. Who would?

He starts to speak again, “But, Alexis…”

“Not tonight,” I cut him off. “Tonight, I just want to be with you. Pretend. Pretend that these weren’t ‘other circumstances.’ Pretend it’s another day and I
was
waiting for you to come home.”

I hold his gaze and start to unzip the side of my dress. I felt so brave when I was just speaking to him, when I slept in his bed, when I decided to come over here tonight, I knew my plan from the beginning and I did not once feel fear. But now I’m scared. I’m self-conscious. I’m nervous. I’m afraid he will reject me. I’m afraid he’ll turn me down. I’m afraid he’ll leave in the morning and never come back.

I slide off the bed and slip the dress off my body, letting it pool around my feet on the floor. I want to cover my body with my hands but I keep them firmly by my side. I hold my breath and count the seconds that are passing. Wondering again if he is going to deny me. I continue to stare into his eyes, watching him take in all of me.

The seconds are still passing… fifteen, sixteen, seventeen… I can hear the words ‘I can’t’ come into my mind. It makes me want to cry. I can hear all the different ways he could reject me, make me feel ashamed. My face starts to burn with a flush that is creeping up.

Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five... My legs are starting to shake from the anxiety of standing here exposed. Twenty-nine, thirty…

“You’re the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen.” Relief sinks through me, making me sigh as my legs start to give out. Cole swiftly comes over and picks me up into his arms. My legs are still shaking even though they are draped over his arm and no longer trying to hold me up. In fact my whole body seems to be shaking now.

“Lexi. You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready,” he tells me soothingly.

“No, I want to. I’m just nervous that you’ll reject me,” I admit. But even though he doesn’t seem to be rejecting me, I’m still shaking like crazy.

He lays me on the bed and looks into my face. “Are you sure? Are you one hundred percent positive?” There is nothing but concern on his face and I’m so mad at my body for ruining the moment.

“Yes,” I say and gently grab the back of his head to pull his head towards mine. I kiss him with trembling lips that feel stronger the longer I kiss him. I take a deep breath into the kiss to calm myself.

He pulls away from me and holds my gaze as he promises me, “I’ll be right back. I’m going to get you something to calm your nerves. But if you change your mind while I’m gone, I’ll understand.”

“No,” I whine. “Don’t go” But my attempt is futile. He’s already moving towards the door.

I sit up and grab a pillow to cover myself with, cursing my stupid, naïve self the whole one minute that he’s gone. My anger is making me calm down. He comes back in slowly, reassessing the situation to make sure I didn’t change my mind. He brings me the glass of wine I knew he would get and hands it to me. He sets down the bottle he brought up on the nightstand and sits down next to me.

I chug the glass and feel its calming properties instantly wash over me. I set it down next to the bottle and move over to him, still a little shaky but nowhere like before. Now I just feel weak from the trauma of the shaking. I move across his body and straddle him. Taking his head into my hands and kiss him, my fingers getting lost in his curls, their favorite place to be.