Lulu in LA LA Land (4 page)

LULU

Alexis, you never told them about the party! I thought you were gonna explain everything.

ALEXIS

(practically screaming)

Who could say anything over your nonstop yakking?!

Alexis boils. She missed an opportunity to impress Stab, and now she heaps her anger onto Lulu.

INT. BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL COFFEE SHOP—SATURDAY, LUNCHTIME

This pink and green old-fashioned coffee shop is a hub of activity. Twenty-five stools line the long, curved counter where Alexis and Lulu sit. A rectangular mirrored case with glass doors holds delicious-looking pies, cakes, and Jell-O cups.

Lulu stares at the offerings. EUCARIO, the long-time waiter behind the counter, knows everyone—except, of course, the tourists.

ALEXIS

(to Lulu)

Now, I went through your school directory. I've got a guest list on my computer, but basically, it's most of the girls in your grade, plus Linc and Fiona's friends' daughters. Just girls. Let's keep it simple.

LULU

There's nothing simple about the girls at my school. They, ummmm, don't like me. They never talk to me except to ask me to explain science or math homework.

ALEXIS

Trust me, they'll all want to come to the Bel-Air retreat of super-hot Linc Harrison and Hollywood power woman Fiona Harrison for a très fab party.

LULU

Yeah, but it's MY birthday party, not Mom's or Dad's.

ALEXIS

You'll be Tween Queen for a day. You'll love it! The wanna-be-cool-fifth-grade-girl brigade will love it.

LULU

What about Mom and Dad? They'll love it?

Alexis pretends to study the menu. There's a long pause. Lulu draws in her breath.

LULU

Who else's on the list? My friends, right?

EUCARIO

Hi, Lulu. Hi, Lex. Are you ready?

LULU

Hi, Eucario. May I have my usual, please?

ALEXIS

Garden salad. Dressing on the side. Water, no ice.

Eucario winks at Lulu and moves along. It's a bustling lunch hour.

ALEXIS

About whatever you ordered—

LULU

(cuts in)

Oh, I know you're gonna make fun of it being a drippy sandwich, but it's not. It's a turkey burger with cheese and Russian dressing. And I'll eat it neatly! I even brought my own chips and salsa.

Lulu reaches into her canvas tote bag that reads “Save Earth. It's the Only Planet with Chocolate.” In a swift, practiced move, Lulu pulls out a chip and crunches it in her mouth.

ALEXIS

Besides your lunch's ooze factor, you've got to cut out all the cheese, meat, and cream. And stop always smelling like you're wearing salsa–corn chip perfume.

Eucario slides a tall vanilla milkshake over to Lulu. Lulu unwraps the straw and takes a strong suck.

LULU

Talking about food, Sophia wants to make my birthday cake, and I don't—

ALEXIS

Rewind: back to guest list. Look, Lu, this might come as a total shocker, but Sophia is NOT at this party.

LULU

What?

Eucario brings their food.

LULU

(slides away her plate)

I don't think I'm hungry anymore. Alexis, she's my massively mucho supreme best friend!

ALEXIS

There's a mission here. Super deluxe, très fab spa party. It's gonna have a certain vibe. It's not the kind of party where you can sit in a corner and hang out with just ONE guest.

LULU

Geez peas! She's come to every party I've ever had. How can I not invite my best friend who once when I was really sad made me laugh so hard milk sprayed out of my nose?! And she's even been to the emergency room with me and Momny, twice! Once when I cut myself with an apple corer, and once when I fell out of our kumquat tree.

ALEXIS

Plan a private party with her up in your attic playroom. I'm outta that one.

With that, Alexis looks up to see her boyfriend, ROBBIE, arrive with a group of boys and take a seat at the opposite end of the curved counter. Alexis walks over to them. Robbie waves at Lulu. Lulu waves back.

Enter Pop Girls. They appear in miniskirts paired with cropped sweaters. They circle the small coffee shop, pushing past Lulu.

LULU

(brightly but with effort)

Hi, guys! Are you, ummm, having lunch too? I love the food here, but I, ummm, bring my own chips and salsa.

JANA

We can smell that.

The Pop Girls give each other looks like they just stepped into a geek hole and don't want to get stuck in it.

LULU

Hey, I'm gonna have a birthday party in a few weeks and…

JADE

(bored)

Superb. I'm sure we'll all read about it.

Confused, Lulu feels her face getting hotter by the minute.

JANA

Hey, FYI, red doesn't really match orange.

LULU

I'm not. I mean, I'm only wearing orange.

JANA

Are too. Your face. Way RED!

JADE

Check the text: you're always wearing orange. Like it's Halloween!

Pop Girls snicker. Alexis swoops back to her empty stool. She immediately understands what's going on. One thing about Alexis: she's got super-sonic girl radar.

ALEXIS

Oh, Jade, Jana, Jenna.

Pop Girls snap to attention. They're a little freaked because Alexis knows their names. Alexis represents the supreme cool teen girl ideal.

JADE

Hi, Alexis, ahhhh—

(nervous giggle)

Harrison.

ALEXIS

FYI: I'm doing ultra-fab party planning. It's a spa bash. My 411 tells me that no one in your grade has done one yet. So, I'll help you all glam up in honor of Lulu's b-day.

JADE

(friendly to Alexis)

Cool. Doing e-vites?

(unfriendly to Lulu)

Lulu, I'm surprised you're not having a mad scientist party!

Jana and Jenna cackle at their friend's wisecrack.

LULU

(ignoring the put-down, or maybe not noticing it)

Ya know, I really like experimenting, but I also spend lots of time doing other stuff, like cooking and gardening—

Alexis does a major cut-in and puts the smackdown on Jade.

ALEXIS

We're going for something classier than e-vites on this one. You wouldn't know this, but our parents, Linc and Fiona, go for distinctive, chic paper invites. You'll be schooled in the concept when it arrives.

Without thinking, Lulu reaches into her Save Earth tote bag and snacks on a chip dunked in salsa. The scent of fried chip and salsa cuts through the cramped space where the girls are bunched together. A glob of salsa plops onto Lulu's orange skirt. Pop Girls follow the drop with their eyes, roll them, then move away.

Jenna slows and looks back at Lulu.

JENNA

Hey, I went to a spa in Palm Springs once and loved it.

Jenna hurries to catch her pals.

ALEXIS

(hissing quietly to Lulu)

What did I tell you about eating?! It's like our conversations never happen!

LULU

I didn't mean to.

ALEXIS

Whatever. Let's go figure out invitations.

Alexis eats a few forkfuls of salad. She stands and leaves money on the counter. Then, she shakes back her hair, winks and waves good-bye to Robbie, and exits the coffee shop. Lulu takes quick, giant bites of her lunch, wraps what's left in a pink linen napkin, and drops it in her tote bag. She trots out to catch Alexis.

INT. SUGAR PAPER—AN HOUR LATER

Sugar Paper neatly displays sophisticated letterpress-printed stationery. The tiny store is bright and clean. The stylish owner, CHELSEA, is slim and wears fitted white jeans, a gray shirt, and an elegantly draped blue scarf.

Lulu bursts in.

LULU

(to Chelsea)

Does your store really do letterpress? 'Cause I do flower pressing. And I've pressed more than flowers, like leaves and little bugs. Well, the bugs were already dead. Once I even pressed fifty blades of grass. My friend Sophia and I did it, but it was really hard to keep the grass from blowing off—

Alexis cuts in sharply.

ALEXIS

Hi, I'm Alexis Harrison. I made an appointment.

CHELSEA

Of course. Are you ready to get started?

ALEXIS

I need fifty invitations for a spa party. It's going to be totally fabulous, so the invitation has to reflect the party's très perfect awesomeness.

CHELSEA

I understand. Have you chosen a color scheme?

While Alexis and Chelsea discuss invitations, Lulu snoops around. She opens boxes of stationery. She pulls greeting cards out of their slots. Nothing she touches ends up in its original place—cards go back upside-down, in the wrong slot, or in different boxes.

Chelsea watches Lulu from the corner of her blue eyes. She knows the Harrisons are celebrity customers, but she's not pleased to watch her precisely organized store get shuffled into a mess.

CHELSEA

This would be a custom order? Sugar Paper believes in a stylish, personalized approach.

ALEXIS

Exactly. Your store does our holiday cards. Oh, and this year Fiona sent totally simple, beautiful Valentine's Day cards you guys designed.

LULU

I didn't know Mom did a Valentine's Day card.

ALEXIS

Before you pout up a storm because you didn't get one, remember that you got a Valentine's present from Fiona.

LULU

Yeah, but it was the SAME Tiffany floating heart necklace I got from her last year.

Alexis studies stationery samples.

ALEXIS

OK, I love the polka-dot envelope liners.

CHELSEA

Let's begin with paper options then move to layout, typefaces, and lastly, color and liners.

LULU

Hang on! Lex, how long can this take? I already know what they should say.

Lulu fishes through her tote bag till she finds a crumpled orange paper. She hands it to Alexis.

Alexis shoves it back into Lulu's bag.

ALEXIS

Not happening. There're rules and proper ways to write invitations.

CHELSEA

I apologize, but what's the occasion for this spa party?

LULU

It's my birthday, and it WAS my party.

Lulu's throat tightens. She's not sure if she wants to yell or cry. Lulu feels Queen Bee taking over. It's not for nothing that she and Sophia have been calling Alexis “Queen Bee” ever since they could talk.

ALEXIS

Lulu, CHILL! And, hello?! STOP messing up the store.

Chelsea nods slightly.

LULU

(calmer)

You couldn't sneeze in this store without messing it up.

ALEXIS

If I'm doing this party, I need ABSOLUTE control.

LULU

Geez peas! Fine, but no matter what party you invent, I want it ON my real birthday, February 26. It's a Sunday. I checked.

ALEXIS

It's one possible date I've considered. But can you just control you inner babyish self for a moment? A hip party like this takes thought and planning. I'm throwing a party your parents will want to go to.

At the mention of her parents, Lulu stares at Alexis with interest.

ALEXIS

I've gotta focus on the guests and what they'll like and dislike.

Elana squeezes into the small store.

ELANA

Hola, ladies. Making invitations?

LULU

Haven't even started.

ELANA

Well, Lulu, when you're done, the Garzas' truck is outside. Miguel is asking for you.

CUT-A-ROO! I LOVE Señor Garza and Miguel! Miguel's already thirteen. We met playing at the park when we were babies. His dad was working on his taco truck, parked nearby. Mr. Garza didn't have money to open a restaurant, but he's a
fantastico
chef. Mr. Garza's truck has been rolling around L.A. long before all these new fancy food trucks started showing up. Back to: ACTION!!

LULU

Perfecto! I could really use a tamale!

ALEXIS

You dropped salsa and Russian dressing all over your skirt at lunch. Is there any room left for tamale plops?

Meanwhile, Chelsea reorganizes everything Lulu mussed and moved. She has no idea who the Garzas are, but she thinks it's a great idea for Lulu to go see them.

LULU

(to Elana)

I don't want to watch the
Alexis Orders Invitations
reality show.

ALEXIS

Don't you think Lulu should be here to pick invitations?

ELANA

(no-nonsense tone)

Since she was one years old, Lulu could speak. So, Lulu, speak! What you want?

LULU

Here's what I want: I want whatever paper kills the fewest trees. It can take a hundred years to replace a mature tree. Do you have paper made from bamboo? That's the fastest-growing tree. Also, whatever colored ink should be from plants. Native American girls, like my age, made ink from berries and roots. We shouldn't have to use chemicals either.