Lullabye (Rockstar #6) (7 page)

“Shh, Jesse. It’s okay. You won’t ever have to find out.”

I nod again, just holding on, trying not to lose my shit like I did earlier. She doesn’t need that right now. This is already too much.

There’s a soft knock at the door and I sit up, wiping my eyes, positioning myself next to Lucy on the bed.

“Come in,” she calls out.

“There you are,” Sera says, walking in quickly, straight to Lucy. The hug is instant. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I’m fine,” Lucy whispers.

Sera pulls back. “Don’t ever do that again!”

Lucy snickers. “I’ll do my best.”

“Good,” Sera tells her with a nod. “They all want to know if they can come in.”

Lucy smiles. “Of course.”

“She said to get your butts in here!” Sera yells and the door opens—chaos erupts.

I sit there holding Lucy’s hand while she fields questions, replying to the ones she doesn’t have the answers to.

“So tells us,” Regina begins. “What did you name them?”

“The K Quads!” Xan announces and I can’t help but laugh.

“Catchy,” Lucy snickers.

“Names!” Meggie says with a bounce.

“Kaid Lorenzo,” Lucy says and Carlotta gasps.

“That’s such a lovely thing to do,” Nana Russo tells Lucy. Giovanni nods his agreement.

“Killian Matthew.”

“Holy smokes,” Sera says wiggling her eyebrows.

Lucy laughs and I glare. Them and their fucking M. Shadows.

“Konnor Anthony,” I announce, meeting Lucy’s dad’s gaze and his eyes get shiny as he grins.

“Thank you,” he says.

“It makes me proud to name my boy after a good man.

“You’ve always supported me no matter what. I know you’ll do the same with our boys,” Lucy says softly and Anthony inclines his head. Regina goes to his side, wrapping her arms around him.

“Such a thoughtful thing to do,” Regina agrees.

“What about my girl?” Xan asks.

“The hell you say,” Ben answers.

“What? She’s my niece too.”

“Oh dear Lord,” I mutter.

“Kierah Carlotta,” Lucy says.

Nana Russo smiles so wide she glows.

“All these babies,” Sera whispers. “Perfect names,” a tear falls.

Lucy smiles softly. “We considered Lily for her middle name, but it felt like it belonged to you and Lilyana.

“You’re just trying to wreck me, aren’t you?” she teases through a sniffle.

“They just wanted to make sure you still cried tears and not ice,” Nana says and Lucy gasps.

“Nana,” Lucy scolds.

She shakes her head. “I won’t apologize for it. I know all. You need to stay on this side of that line, Serafina. Crossing it will turn you into something you were never meant to be.”

“I won’t, Nana. I can’t. I promise you,” Sera reassures her.

Carlotta watches her for a minute then nods. “Good.”

“How long do the babies have to stay in here?” Xan asks.

“I don’t know. It’ll be a while. They want them to gain some weight and maintain it before we can take them home,” I answer.

“They’ll be home for Christmas, right? That’s over a month from now.”

“I hope so,” Lucy responds.

“Are you able to breastfeed?” Regina asks.

“I’d hoped to try where we could alternate between formula and breast milk, but with them on TPN and the feeding tube, I’d have to pump until they were ready and it’s just too much of a hassle.”

“Maybe with the next one,” Regina states.

Lucy and I look at one another, then she looks at her mom.

“There won’t be any more.”

“What do you mean? Did something happen?” Anthony asks.

“No—well, yes. Jesse told you. But we decided that four babies are enough.”

“That pregnancy was hard on you,” Sera admits.

“Totally. You got so huge,” Xan says, earning him a middle finger salute from Lucy. That’s my girl!

“I admit, I was
big
and it was uncomfortable. Getting around was a chore already at four months, and with the possibility of having multiples again, we decided we don’t want to risk my health again,” Lucy informs them.

No one says anything. It’s a little uncomfortable until Coley steps forward.

“I think that’s a really great decision. But, knowing you and Jesse, you’re likely to have a ‘surprise’ with the way you go at it,” she teases.

Lucy blushes and I chuckle. “It’ll be fine.”

Coley nods.

“Besides,” Lucy states, “Sera or Meggie can bring me new babies to play with.”

“Hell no!” Meggie says.

“You don’t want kids?” Lucy asks.

“Not right now, I don’t. Maybe later.”

I watch as Trace visibly shudders and shuts down. That’s not going to be good.

Meggie points at Sera. “Her, look at her!”

Sera looks up at Cage, then back at us and shakes her head. “We’re not ready just yet.”

“Understandable,” Giovanni affirms. “But I expect Nichols babies at some point.”

Sera rolls her eyes. “Get in line, Gampy. Mama and Nana beat you to that one. They’ve been on me from the minute we walked into the hospital.”

Lucy snickers and Sera gives her a glare.

Everyone starts to talk amongst themselves and Xan makes his way over, pulling up a chair next to the bed.

“How ya doin’, Luce my goose?”

“Better by the minute, Xan my man.”

“Good, good,” he says with a nod, head bobbing up and down.

“What is it?” Lucy asks.

Xan keeps his head lowered but lifts his eyes to Lucy’s. “I was so afraid, Luce. You’re my best friend.”

“Hello. Remember me?” I say.

Xan smirks. “Always so dramatic,” he teases.

I flip him off.

“For real, Luce. I was so fucking scared. The nurses wouldn’t tell us shit. Only that there had been some complications and it was taking longer than they expected. Then Jesse came out, pale as a ghost, his whole body shaking and I knew. I just knew it was bad,” he murmurs, then takes Lucy’s hand and lifts it to his lips. I bite back a growl. I’ll give him this one.

“I’m sorry, Xan,” Lucy tells him, bringing their joined hands to her chest.

“Promise to never leave,” he pleads, saying all the things I wanted to but held back.

“If I could promise you that, I would. But you know that’s not how things work.”

He nods.

“I can promise to do my best?” she questions.

“That’ll do,” he replies with a wink.

“I wanted to ask you something Xan,” Lucy begins.

“Should I go?” I ask.

“No, no. It’s fine.”

“Okay.”

“What’s on your mind, Luce?” Xan asks.

“Where’d you go those two days in New York?”

A wall of sadness blankets him at the question and I know exactly where he went.

“I went to see Tera.”

Lucy gasps softly. “What?”

“There’s so much you don’t know, Lucy, and I promise one day I’ll tell you—just not yet, okay? I have to work some shit out.”

“Okay, okay,” Lucy agrees. “Can I ask—what is she to you?”

One side of his mouth kicks up in a grin. “She is to me what Jesse is to you.”

“Oh, wow. I had a feeling that’s what you were going to say. She’s your ‘one’.”

He looks up at Lucy. “Yeah. There are just some things standing in our way right now that we’re both trying to get through—mostly Tera. I don’t want you to not like her because she’s not here and I’m sad, Luce. I saw that look on the bus that day. She’s got her reasons and they’re valid. I promise you.”

Lucy meets his gaze head on. “Okay. I just don’t like to see you hurting. It hurts my heart.”

“I know. I’m all right. Trust me, okay?” he asks.

She kisses his hand she’s still holding to her chest. “I do.”

“Good,” he replies.

Sitting here, watching them interact, seeing their closeness, I know that if anything were to ever happen to me, he’d take care of Lucy—Tera or no Tera.

“I need to pee,” Lucy announces, reaching for the ‘call’ button.

The nurse hurries in and helps Luce to the bathroom.

I look at Xan. “You’re in love with my wife.”

He has the grace to look sheepish. “If she were my wife, wouldn’t you be?”

“Yeah, yeah I would.”

“You pissed?”

“Nope. I trust you both and I know you,” I tell him.

Xan nods. “I told you before we started on the tour that if you fucked up and she dumped you, I was going to make my move, but you totally manned up. I wouldn’t ever try to break what you both have worked so hard to make together.”

I look at him and hate to admit this. “She’s in love with you, too.”

He smirks. “Not the way she loves you, dude. Not even close.”

“That how it is with Tera?”

He nods. “Always has been. Always will be.”

“Then do what you gotta do, man. Make it happen,” I advise.

“We’re both working on it.”

“Good. If you need anything, just say the word.”

“Thanks.”

I nod.

“Why is it we have this same conversation whenever we’re in the hospital?” he asks with a grin.

I shrug. “I’m not sure. Maybe because it’s easier to see.”

“Maybe.”

“Oh, that felt
so good
!” Lucy tells us as the nurse helps her back into bed.

I can’t help but laugh.

“What? It did,” she defends.

“Sometimes after birth women have a hard time knowing when their bladder is full,” the nurse informs us.

“I had to pee in this bowl thing so they can measure my urine, right?” she begins. Xan and I nod, smirks in place. “I
overflowed
it!”

“Nuh-uh,” Xan scoffs.

“Uh-huh,” Lucy defends. “Just ask her,” she says, pointing to the nurse.

“It’s true. Mrs. Kingston did, indeed, overflow the measuring unit.”

“I’m just glad I didn’t pee the bed,” Lucy states.

“We’ve been over this,” Meggie cuts in. “It’s Jace that pees the bed.”

“What the fuck?” Jace interrupts.

“Jace Warner. Language!” Mama scolds.

“Sorry, mama,” he says, “but what the fuck?”

Mama just gives him the eye.

“Jacey pee pants,” Sera sing-songs.

“You better watch yourself—
rabbit
,” he tells her and she clamps her lips together.

“Rabbit?” Xan asks. “Like thumper? Or humper?”

“Never mind,” Sera huffs, walking away.

“No way! I want to know about this ‘
rabbit
’ stuff,” he provokes and Sera gives him a glare. “I’m not afraid of you Serafina. You’d never hurt me. You love me too much.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Then again, I might like it if you hurt me,” he taunts and Cage clears his throat. Xan’s grin drops. “Shit. Sorry, Cage dude. You know I’m just joking. Right?”

Cage doesn’t answer and Meggie snickers. “Keep glaring at him like that, Cage. Maybe we’ll have two ‘pee pants’.”

Cage’s lips twitch and Jace mutters something under his breath.

“No lie. That look, that one right there,” Xan begins. “I think I felt a dribble.”

Cage walks over to Sera, pulling her into his side. “Then don’t flirt with
my wife
.”

Sera grins and laughs while Xan eyes Cage warily, unsure if he poked the lion or if he’s just playing.

Cage leans in and kisses Sera.

He’ll never know.

Three weeks later…

T
HERE’S A BABY
crying and I sit up in bed with my eyes still closed. We set up Jesse’s entertainment area for the babies so they’re close by. We also knocked out the wall between the rooms so Jesse wouldn’t sleep on the floor next to the cribs.

“There’s my early riser,” I coo to Konnor. He always wakes first. I think he’s just afraid he’s going to miss something. I’m changing his diaper when Killian begins to whimper. Jesse’s over in a flash, getting him changed, and just as I get Konnor settled into his baby swing, Kaid starts up. It’s a routine, and I’m so damn glad I decided
not
to breastfeed. I don’t think I’d be able to produce enough to feed these oinkers.

Jesse sets Killian in his swing, then goes over to Keirah’s crib, even though she’s not crying.

“God damn it,” Jesse mutters.

“Again?” I ask.

Jesse nods.

“I’ll go get her,” I tell him, and arrange Kaid in his swing. Jesse sets off to heat up the bottles while Mrs. Martinez watches the babies. The woman is in her glory having these babies around.