Luke's Crazy California Christmas (8 page)

“So”—this time, I crossed my arms over my chest—“this visit wasn't even about me, was it?” As I took a step nearer to her, all the negative emotions I'd been carrying for days came pouring to the surface. “I think you're too busy to be in a relationship.” My closed hands gripped into fists. Why was I so mad? I should be trying to patch things up. This was only making things worse.

She raised her chin. “And what if you do make the UCLA baseball team or any other competitive college team? Will you have time for me?”

“I'll make time. You're that important to me.”

“You say that now, but will you? It's hard. Trust me.”

“Yeah, it is hard.” I wiped my hands down my face.

Why were we fighting like this? We'd never had a real fight before.

“Why do you have to be this way? Why can't it be easy like it's been with…”

“With whom? Charli? I thought she was like a sister?”

“She is. I didn't mean her exactly, but I don't know if I can keep up with you like this forever. I mean, this is the career you are working toward. You say you came to see me, but you came for an audition. It was just convenient to hit two birds with one stone. I always feel like I'm in second place.”

“I used language my father would understand. Otherwise, he would have never allowed me to come.”

“Whatever, Andrea. Admit it, you were happy I left over vacation. It gave you the freedom to prepare for your concert without me in the way. It didn't bother you one bit.”

“That's what you think?” Her lower lip quivered, but she didn't drop her chin or look away. “Well, then maybe we should break up.”

“Well, maybe we should.” No, I didn't want to break up! What was I saying? “Is that what you want?”

Tears zigzagged down her face, making a trail. Her lips pouted as if they held something back. She nodded her head, and then she dashed for the pool gate.

I took a step to stop her, but then paused. What was the use? She wanted to break up. When one person in a relationship wants to break up, you break up. I should have known things would go this way by the way she'd been treating me all week. Maybe we just weren't meant to be together after all.

~*~

The ball whizzed toward me. I bent my knees and swung.
Crack!
Bat connected with ball and it hurtled toward the fence.

“Good one, Luke.”

Jake and a couple of the guys from last year's baseball team had joined me at the batting cages—my stress releaser.

Another ball pitched my direction just as my phone rang. I jumped back out of range and signaled to the next guy in line to take my place as the ball crashed into the back fence. Handing off my bat, I jogged to the exit, removed the helmet, and grabbed the ringing phone, hoping it might be Andrea and yet knowing it wouldn't be. No, it was Amy Appleby, Andrea's best friend.

“Hello, Amy.”

“Luke, you jerk, how could you break up with Andrea?” I paused a few feet from the guys and rested back against a wall.

“Wait, it was her idea.”

“Andrea loves you. She would never break up with you. What did you do?”

“What did she say I did…wait, she loves me? Did she tell you that?”

“She doesn't need to. It's in every look and every word coming out of her mouth. Her brain is consumed with you. I'm surprised she can still play piano with how in love she is with you.”

I sucked in a breath and let it go. “I don't know.” I dragged a hand through my sweat-dampened hair. “Sometimes even if people care for each other, they aren't meant to be together. It's just getting too hard.”

“Luke, life is hard. But the important things in this world—the valuable things—are worth working for. Andrea is worth it. Do I actually have to tell you that? You are the guy who asked her out to homecoming like four times. Why are you giving up so easily this time?”

The guys were all looking at me as if they knew what was going on. “I gotta go, Amy. When you see Andrea, tell her I'm sorry.” After ending the call, I replaced the phone in my pants pocket. A pain ached in the center of my forehead and continued all the way down to my chest cavity.
We broke up.
Andrea and I were no longer together. I was still trying to wrap my head around it and realize it was true and not just some horrible nightmare.

And since Amy had called me, that meant Andrea had told her. She was telling people. That made it more real than anything. This had to go down as the worst Christmas break I'd ever had. I mean, yeah, it's great Dad and I seem to be on better footing in our relationship, but other than that—the worst!

I said goodbye to my friends and jumped on Dad's bike that I'd borrowed for the ride two miles down the road to the batting cages. A single tear rolled from the corner of my eye to my ear. I swiped the moisture away. I'd been fighting it all week, but all of a sudden, I was praying as I pedaled.
Lord, I've been struggling all week and I think it's safe to say I've finally hit rock bottom. I've been angry, and I'm not exactly sure why. Instead of coming to You in my time of trouble, I was avoiding You. That was wrong and probably the reason I just haven't been right all week. I need some peace of mind. Some clarity for my future wouldn't be too bad either. More than anything, I need to understand what just happened between Andrea and myself. This can't be the end. Over. Forever. Are we supposed to be together, or is holding on just going to cause more pain? Help me figure out what I can do to make this right.

I'd been missing Andrea all week, but right now I missed her more than ever. I just wanted to hear her voice, which tempted me to call her, but I didn't. She probably wouldn't answer anyway.

My conversation with Amy played over in my mind. She was right. I was giving up too easily. Just like my dad. When things got hard, he ran away. Why was I doing the same thing? Did I want to be like him?

Even if I couldn't talk to Andrea, there was one thing I could do to be close to her. I remembered her journal. After making it back to the condo, I ran to my room and opened the closet door where I'd stashed the journal. Then I brought it with me to the bed.

A few minutes later, I smiled, reading her words.

“I know You can work miracles, and really I'm not asking for one, but please…”
Or,
“Really, if I could ask for anything, it would be the ability to freeze time. Then I might actually get everything done.”

But it was when I got to this passage that it all really got to me.

“Today it isn't about me. It's about Luke. He's having such a hard time, and I don't know what to do for him. All I can do is pray.”
That was back in October when she found out about Monica and the hard time Mom and I had been having with Dad.

I closed the journal and pressed it against my stomach as I shut my eyes. What would I do without her? I must have been out of my mind to let her break up with me. Amy was right. Andrea wouldn't have done that if I hadn't pushed her to it.

Time to do some real praying and getting into God's Word, because that was the only way I could make this right.

8

Been dying all night. How did things go with Andrea?!

I glanced at the text from Charli the next morning and debated whether to ignore her. I felt spent emotionally and physically drained. I wasn't sure I had the energy to deal with her. 

Don't want to talk about it.

U know I'll bug u till you spill.

Let it go. 

I could always come over there. 

NO!

She didn't respond and that had me worried. 

Ten minutes later, Dad's muffled voice out in the front room intermingled with a female voice. Heather? No, Charli! She'd come over even though I'd said no. I didn't know girls could be this annoying. Although, come to think of it, I'd never really spent this much time around another girl other than Monica and Andrea.

A knock sounded on my door.

I closed the Bible on my lap and climbed off the bed as the door swung open.

Dad stood in the doorway. “Charli's here.”

“Yeah, I heard. I'm coming.” Dressed in a white T-shirt, black-and-white sweatpants, and sock-clad feet, I joined Dad in the hallway.

We met Charli in the living room. She was seated on the couch, but she stood when she saw me. 

“I've got to go into the office. There's paperwork I have to get settled before the end of the year. Will you kids be OK?”

“I'll keep him company and my mom said she'd take us out for burgers for dinner.”

“Great! See you two later.”

Dad grabbed his briefcase and left us.

“I told you, no.” I frowned hard, hoping she got my disapproval of her actions.

“I know you did. I figured you meant yes, but you were just being a guy.” 

“Newsflash! I am a guy, and I just needed to be alone.” 

“No, you don't. That's the last thing you need. I know guys aren't all about talking out their problems, but trust me, it helps.” 

“Charli, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but we barely know each other. What makes you think I'll share my private life with you?”

“Fine, hold it in. But that's why men die young.” 

I dropped into the sofa, closed my eyes, and rested my head back on a cushion. “This is why I wanted to be alone. I don't have the energy for you today.” 

Charli lowered onto the cushion beside me. “OK, you don't have to talk about it. I'm pretty sure by your response that things didn't go well.” 

I looked at her with a scowl. 

“Ooh, yeah. So how bad was it?”

I scrubbed my hands over my face. “Bad.” 

“Bad, bad?”

“Worse.” 

“You didn't break up, did you?”

My hard expression answered for me. 

“Oh, Luke, I'm so sorry. It wasn't because of me, was it? Because if it was, I'd feel so bad. I mean—”

“It wasn't you.” I interrupted her and then hopped off the couch. For a minute, I just stood there, staring into space. “It was a lot of things.” 

“So what will you do?”

“I haven't decided.” 

“Well, you have to do something. You love her too much to let her go so easily.” 

“I love her?”

“Stop denying it. You do.” 

Did I love Andrea? I kept asking myself that question, and I almost didn't want to know the answer anymore, especially now that we were broken up. What if I did love her and we didn't get back together? I wasn't sure I would survive that. 

My heart rate sped up, and the room suddenly seemed way too small for two people. “I need some air.” I hurried to the sliding door, which led out to the private patio. Once outside, I sucked in a deep breath and let it go. I hoped Charli wouldn't follow me out. For once, I hoped she would please give me some privacy.

Warm sunshine filtered through slits in the overhead awning and made designs on the cement beneath my feet. The mild temperatures and the cooling breeze had me feeling nearly calm. Then my cellphone buzzed, and I almost jumped out of my ankle-length sports socks.

It's Alisha. Hate to bother you. Emergency!

Another one of Andrea's friends, Alisha Andrews. What was Alisha texting me for? Hadn't Amy bashed me enough already? I got the message. I'd do something.

Hey, what's up?

Andrea.

So, you know.

She called. Amy and Angie are out of state on a missions trip, so it's harder to get ahold of them. Sorry about the breakup.

Yeah, me too.

What was Alisha's angle in texting me? She'd never texted before. I didn't even know she had my number. I doubted Andrea would have sent it to her. Of course, she could have gotten it from any of the other guys from school who I was friends with. They never could say no to Alisha.

Andrea needs your help. She won't call, so I am.

What's wrong?
My stomach swirled.

She can't get to her audition today. Her aunt's car broke down this morning. Said she's taking public transportation. Worried me.

LA Metro?

Yeah, I guess.

Andrea could not take the LA Metro bus to USC. And Dad would flip if he heard I'd been to the USC campus—they were UCLA's rivals, after all, but Alisha was right. I couldn't let her go alone.

Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

I rushed back indoors to the living room and right past where Charli waited on the couch.

“Luke…are you…OK?”

I glanced at her as I jogged on through. “Can't talk. Got to go help Andrea.” Once in my room, I shut and locked the door. I did not in any way trust Charli not to bound in here and question me further.

I grabbed my cellphone and began texting Andrea.
Coming to take you to your audition.

I don't need your help. How did you even know?

I'm coming.

After that, I turned off the phone and jumped in the shower. Fifteen minutes later, I emerged from my room dressed and ready to drive over to see Andrea. Except I had no idea how to get there. I had also just remembered I didn't even have a car. My car was back in North Carolina, parked in front of my mom's little cookie-cutter row house.

Charli met me in the hallway. She had a huge smile on her face. “I'm so excited! I have no idea what's going on, but you are doing something. I love it! It's so romantic.”

“Charli, I need a car. Andrea needs a ride to her audition, and I'll take her…except for the fact that I have no idea where she's staying.”

“Can't you ask her for directions?”

“No, she doesn't even want me to come.”

“Oh, she's still mad, I take it.”

“Seems like it.”

“Well, who told you she was in trouble?”

“Her friend Alisha.”

“So, call her and see if she has the address.”