Luke's Crazy California Christmas (10 page)

Then if things went well, she'd pull out her journal and finally read what I wrote—unless she had already read it and she didn't care.

I shook my head. I couldn't think that way. It would work.

The words I wrote there in her journal ran through my head again:
Dear Andrea, I gave up too easily. I'm the guy who asked you three, almost four, times to homecoming. This time, though, I gave up too easily. I forgot something. The things that are valuable are worth fighting for, even when things are hard. You are valuable. Our relationship has value worth preserving.

This last week has been like a whirlwind, and I don't think I've done so well in handling it. I've been angry at so many things for far too long. Probably ever since Monica's death and then my parents' divorce. I think that's why I was so against coming back to California. It made me face all those issues I'd stuffed away in the farthest corner of my mind. Today I read in Proverbs 18: “The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” This passage reminded me that God is in control (just like you said to me before I left). And God is, further, like a tower for us to turn to in times of trouble. Instead of doing that, I was avoiding God. Occasionally, I've even avoided you. It hurt too much to think you didn't need me anymore. But that was totally wrong. Now I realize that God has been with me every step of the way. It's like I'd been carrying this burden all on my own and for the moment it now feels so much lighter. Andrea, don't give up on us just yet. Love, Luke.

“Luke, are you even paying attention?” Charli brought me back to the present.

I laughed. “Uh, no, I'm not.”

“Well, you have to. This is the best scene in the whole movie.”

~*~

Tomorrow came.

Andrea's plane took off. Nothing but silence on that front.

I tried not to care, but it seemed to consume all my thoughts. Then that night she sent a text:
Meet @ the park across from Coffee Cup 12/31 11:30 PM. Bring coffee.

My heart thundered. That was New Year's Eve. She wanted to meet me on New Year's Eve! That had to be good.

The next day, it was Charli's turn to fly back to Chicago. She stopped by to see me before heading to the airport. “Well, Christmas break was definitely different than I expected.” She gave me a hug. “I promise to inundate you with texts until I see you again over the summer.”

“That's right—our parents' wedding in June.”

“Yes, I'm going to be Mom's maid of honor. Isn't that awesome? I've never been in a wedding before.”

“You in lace and satin and stuff? I don't know.”

“Are you kidding? I love it. Mom and I already started planning the colors and dresses. I have three bride magazines in my bag this second.”

I laughed. When I met Charli, seeing her in some peach-colored bridesmaid dress was the last thing I would have expected. “I'm sure it will be great.”

“I'm glad you're going to be my older brother, Luke. I always wanted one.”

“Oh, well, thanks.”

“Aren't you going to say you're happy I'll be your sister?”

My face must have given my thoughts away.

“I'm sorry. You're probably thinking about Monica. I know I could never like replace her or anything.”

“No, you definitely couldn't. You are your own person, Charlene Bacon.”

“Never call me Charlene.”

“Charlene,” I teased and started to jog away from her. She chased after me.

“You better not say that again.”

“Charlene.” I was at a full run by this point.

~*~

During the last few days of my visit, Dad took me on a couple more college tours. We also visited an amusement park and had dinners with Heather. I spent time with some of my OC friends. It was nice, but I couldn't completely enjoy it. I was biting at the bit to be back in North Carolina. What would Andrea tell me?

Mom picked me up at the airport late on the thirtieth. She hopped out of the car as soon as she came to a stop in the airport pickup area. Before I knew it, she had her arms wrapped around my neck. “Welcome back, kiddo.”

“Hey, Mom. I missed you too.”

She gave me a big kiss on my cheek. She hadn't done that since I was eleven. “What's this?” She took the guitar case from me. “Monica's guitar?”

“Yeah. Dad found it.”

Her hand gently stroked over the spot where Monica had written her name in cursive on the front of the case. “It will be nice to have it again. You'll play for me, right?”

“You bet. I've been practicing while I was gone.”

The bags went into the car, and we started on our way home.
Yep, HOME.

“How was California?” she asked as we drove. “Your brief texts and phone calls didn't tell me much.”

“It was…good…sort of.”

“Better than you thought, huh?”

“Yeah, it was.” If Andrea and I got back together, that is.

“That's what I gathered from talking to your dad.”

“You've been talking to Dad?”

“Sure, we still talk sometimes.”

“So do you know about—”

“Heather? Yes, I knew about her before you did.”

“And you're OK with it?”

“Your dad seems happy. And that makes him easier to deal with, doesn't it?” She smiled.

“But did you know—”

“That he's getting remarried? Sorry, I keep interrupting you. Yes, I know. It's OK. I mean, sure, it bothers me a little, but that's the way it is.”

Mom seemed OK, but there was something in her voice that made me sad. When she married Dad, it had been for the long haul. Then things got bad and Dad bailed. If anyone should get to be happy, it should be Mom. But life didn't always turn out that way.

~*~

Our youth group had an activity on New Year's Eve. I considered whether to attend or not. What if Andrea was there? Did she want to see me before our appointed meeting time? I risked it anyway. But when I showed up, she wasn't there. Neither was Amy. Her other two close friends, Alisha and Angie, were there. I approached them near the snack tables. “Good evening, ladies.”

“Happy New Year, Luke,” said Alisha.

“Yeah, hi, jerk,” Angie tossed at me before stalking off. Her intensity took me aback for a second. That girl kind of scared me, and it wasn't just the sight of the many earrings in her earlobes. That was nothing next to Charli's jewelry collection. No, Angie had a chip the size of Mt. McKinley on her shoulder.

“Ignore her, Luke,” said Alisha with an apologetic tone. “She has a hard time forgiving. But that's a whole other story. How are you doing?”

“I'm OK. How's Andrea?”

“Hmm, well”—she turned away from me—“I don't really know.” Her clandestine smile gave her away though. “I do know that she's been carrying that journal around with her everywhere as if it's some precious jewel.” Then Alisha walked away to a group of friends starting a game in the middle of the room.

Her words should have calmed my spirit, but I felt more nervous than ever. What if I messed it up again? What if…what if…what if… I had to stop what-if-ing everything. Just like Andrea reminded me almost two weeks ago. God is in control. Whatever happened tonight, it would be what He had deemed should happen. I sent up a quick prayer and joined the others in the game.

Three more hours until I met with Andrea.

10

Couples jogged together into the Coffee Cup to escape the drizzly rain. New Year's Eve had turned into New Year's slush. They'd had some snowfall the day before I got home, and the temps hadn't moved past thirty-nine degrees since.

Yes, I missed the first snowfall.
Thanks, Dad!
Now the rain had turned everything to slush. How was I supposed to meet Andrea in the park in this weather? I hoped she wouldn't call it off.

The atmosphere inside the coffee house held all the anticipation you might expect at a New Year's party. They even had their own ball that was dropping from the ceiling at midnight. In a corner, a TV blared with the activities at Times Square in New York and Downtown Raleigh preparing the falling Big Acorn. Yes, that's real! Well, Raleigh is the City of Oaks.

I ordered two coffees to go and then headed back into the cold to meet Andrea. A freezing wind shot past me, and I crossed my arms while holding the cups to ward off the chill. Man, I sure missed the warm California temperatures right about now. I could have met Andrea at Corona del Mar, and we would have sat up on the lifeguard station and had our private moment in the peace of the crashing waves.

But that's not how it came together. Now was the moment. Here in the freezing temps where Andrea and I had one more moment to see if we could make this work.

I entered the park and saw her right away, standing under a red umbrella below the streetlight. My pace quickened. I couldn't get to her fast enough. I came to a stop a few inches from her umbrella and just smiled. “Hi.” That was all I could say.

“Hi,” she said back. “Luke, come under here. You'll get soaked.”

“Maybe we should go inside the coffee house,” I suggested, although I didn't want to go back into the party. She wouldn't be able to hear a word I said.

“No, it won't get any worse.” She grabbed my arm and gently yanked me closer.

We were nearly nose to nose.

“You know that for certain, huh?” I eyed her closely.

“I have a feeling; besides, I've lived here all my life.”

“Yes, I believe I've heard that somewhere before. Here.” I offered her a cup of coffee.

“Thanks.” We both sipped on the hot brew. It gave us something to do because neither of us seemed to know what to say next. How does one broach something like this?
I love you. Please forgive me!

Then the rain stopped and the clouds thinned. The moon shone high in the sky above, washing everything in whitish-yellow light.

“See, I told you.” She folded up the umbrella. Under her arm she had a blanket. She set it over the seat of a nearby bench that had been mostly sheltered from the rain under a large tree. “Thanks for coming,” she said and then looked away. “I, uh, read what you wrote.” She cleared her throat, glanced at me, and turned her gaze away again. “I gave up too easily too.” She raised her eyes to meet mine. They were watery. “I'm sorry, Luke. This was all my fault.”

“No, it was mine.” My arm slid around her shoulders. “I forced you into it.”

“No, that's not true.” A tear slid down her nose. “I hate knowing you were feeling so bad and I made things worse again. I promised myself I wouldn't do that to you again. And here I went, just thinking of myself, getting defensive, and not even thinking about how you were feeling. I do have a busy schedule, but that doesn't mean I'm too busy for you. I don't ever want you to think that I don't need you. Never think that I wouldn't rather spend every minute with you instead of my piano. It's just that…”

I loved it when she rambled. And I couldn't wait any longer. I leaned over and kissed her. No cinnamon tonight. She still tasted sweet like…
watermelon.
She smiled.

“I love you.”

“You do?” Her round eyes widened. “I mean, I saw you wrote that in the journal, but we've never said that to each other before.”

“I know, but you wrote it to me in that note inside your journal.”

She nodded. “I wasn't sure if you were there yet, and I didn't want to say it in person and pressure you before you were ready.”

I put my arm around her and tugged her closer. “To me, saying
I love you
is a big deal. I've never said it to anyone before…well, other than family members.”

“Me too.”

“Love isn't just the way you make me feel. The way my heart rate accelerates whenever you walk into a room. The way my stomach swirls when you send a smile my way. That's not love. Love is choosing to stay even when things get tough. Love is a decision. Love is a choice. And I choose to love you.”

Her face broke out into a gorgeous smile. “I love you too, Luke. I know I haven't been the best girlfriend or given you enough time, but I want this to work.”

“Me too. You're right. It will be hard and we'll both have crazy schedules next year, but if we're committed…”

“I'm committed, Luke.” She took my hand and squeezed it.

As I kissed her again, the town fireworks exploded above us over the lake. “Happy New Year,” I whispered.

“Happy New Year, Luke Ryan.”

“You know, I've been struggling over the whole idea of home after spending ten days back in California. And you know what I figured out?”

“No, what?” Her green eyes sparkled in the light of the explosions above us.

“Home is wherever you are.”

Thank you…

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AMDG

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