Loving the Senator (Capitol Affairs #1) (20 page)

I was even sicker when I heard a car pull into my driveway. He was going to make me face him. You don’t run away from a man like Alex Conrad.

The knocking started, and I ignored it, hoping he would go away. He then started pounding with both hands on the door so hard, I feared the neighbors would call the police.

“Prudence, I know you’re in there. Jade told me about your conversation. Let me in. If you don’t, I’m going to kick this fucking door in,” he yelled through the closed door. “Prudence, let me explain. Please.”

Alex banged until I finally opened the door. He looked shattered, broken as if I was the one who had hurt him.

“What is there to explain, Alex? Your other girlfriend, Jade, explained everything to me. For once, I get the truth, and it is from someone I despise. You’re engaged to Stella and used Jade and I for sex. Am I right, or did I leave out someone else? I saw the goddamn ring on Stella Simon’s hand. You lied to me. She was the one following us around the flea market, and you knew. You saw her, and you told me it was a crazy woman and that’s why you wanted to leave. You knew then. Why would you do this to me? I loved you. I have loved you my whole life. I would have given you anything.” I was crying and screaming, and through it all, I wanted to die. Part of me was hoping he would take me in his arms and take me to bed.

“You heard Jade’s side of the story and now I want you to hear mine.” He looked down and ran his hands through his messed up hair.

I wiped my face and nose, and tried to look a little more presentable, but the damage had already been done. He handed me his handkerchief.

“Sit down and listen to me, Prudence. I won’t lie to you. I haven’t lied to you.” He reached out his hand to push my hair behind my ear and I flinched.

“Don’t give me orders. You will not touch me again or tell me what to do,” I said, as I wiped my eyes, mascara stinging through the tears. Alex stood in the kitchen and I stood against the wall for support.

“Look at you. Still so fucking stunning,” he looked as if he was in pain as he took me in, still in my dress, the one he picked out.

“Don’t you dare compliment me right now. And don’t give me any shit that you don’t lie to me. I’ve told you everything about me and I trusted you. You didn’t think enough of me to tell me about her. You’ve just joined the list of all the lying assholes in my life I was supposed to have been able to trust! Fuck you, Alex Conrad.” I wanted to punch him in the face.

“Calm down, Prudence. You are getting worked up over nothing.”

“Don’t talk to me like that, Alex. I saw you and your secret fiancé in deep conversation after you just told me how much you loved me. What the hell is going on with you? Is this some kind of twisted game you play with women? Do you collect women like you do Fiats?”

“Please stop yelling and just listen. What Jade told you is true. I was engaged to Stella, and I broke it off. We dated through college and we planned on getting married. Our parents were close, and we grew up together. Her parents pushed us to be a couple. That was all she talked about; when we were going to get married and start a family. I did fall in love with her, and we were happy once. I got too caught up in the political life, and we grew apart. I started dating Jade, and Stella started dating a doctor at the hospital she worked at. Since her father is a senator, she would go to a lot of the parties he was invited to. I saw her one night after I was lonely and needed someone to talk to, and we rekindled our relationship. I will admit I had sex with her, and we both wanted it to be private because of who she was and what I was trying to accomplish.” He was silent for a second.

“What the hell? You were lonely so you fucked her? And she’s dating someone else, but still wears your ginormous engagement ring? What kind of stupid girl do you think I am, Alex?” I had to fold my hands behind me to keep from lunging at his neck with them.

“Let me finish,” he pleaded, and I could swear he was getting turned on as he looked me up and down, lingering for a few seconds on my breasts. A few months after the night we were together, she told me she was pregnant. I knew that I had to do the right thing, so I asked her to marry me. I will admit, part of it was to uphold my image and the other part? Well I thought it could work between her and me. I thought this could be the start of the family I’d always wanted. Soon after that, she turned into different person. She became possessive and mean, and would not let me out of her sight. When she was three months pregnant she had a miscarriage, and she ended up in the psych ward for two months. She can no longer practice medicine because she is mentally unstable. I feel partially to blame for it because if it hadn’t been for me, she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant and lost our baby. She is under a doctor’s care and wasn’t supposed to be there tonight. Before I came here, I had her father come and get her. She’s not well, Prudence, and I don’t think she ever will be. How she got your cell phone number, I’m not sure.”

I stood there not saying a word and not looking at him. My emotions had done a somersault. I found myself feeling bad for Stella, and Alex and even Jade. Alex had lost a child. Stella had gone mad with grief over losing his child. No one should ever have to experience that. My protective posture slumped and in that moment, I was happy to have the wall to hold me up.

“You thought it was Jade, and I didn’t correct you. I’m sorry for that. It was easier for me to let you believe it was Jade since you hated her anyway. I just didn’t want you to be hurt, Prudence. I love you so much. I have wanted you for so long. I would have done anything to keep this from you. I’m so sorry from the depths of my soul.” When I looked at him, his eyes began to fill up with tears.

I hated him, and I wanted to hold him and comfort at the same time. I still didn’t know if he was sincere or not. Was I just someone he used for sex? Did he love me, or was he sick too? All I could manage now was, “You lied to me, Alex.”

He stepped toward me, then stopped.

“I wanted to be with you and nothing else mattered. I never dreamed I would fall in love with you like I have. I never dreamed you would be in my life like this. I couldn’t stop it when it happened, and I didn’t want anything to ruin it,” he said.

“Bullshit, you used Jade and I for sex, and Stella is the woman you truly love,” I yelled again.

“That’s so not true, Prudence. Come on, you know the kind of man I am. I would never do that to you, ever,” he said, looking directly into my eyes. “When I love someone, that’s it. I love them completely, with everything I have and with all I am.”

“Do you love Stella more than me?” I whispered, looking away from him.

“Prudence, I have never loved anyone as much as I love you.” He sniffed and grabbed a paper towel off the counter to wipe his eyes.

“I had a hard time keeping all of this a secret, but Stella’s father is a powerful man. He’s partially to thank for keeping this story out of the news. Can you imagine what would have happened if it had come out? If this would have somehow been made public during my campaign? Stella and I broke off our engagement, and I started seeing Jade again, but my heart wasn’t in it. And, looking back now, I know I wasn’t being fair to Jade. And I have apologized to her.”

“Where do things with Stella and you stand now? You two seemed pretty cozy tonight, all pushed up in the corner together.” I knew I sounded jealous and crazy. He tried to come close to me, but I raised my hand up to him.

“There is no Stella and me. She’s been admitted to the hospital again. She was telling everyone she and I were engaged and introducing herself around as my fiancé. Her father is making sure she gets the care she needs.”

“You still lied, and that hurts me, Alex. I have been lied to all my life and I promised I wouldn’t let it happen again. I need time to think. I need you to go,” I said even though I really wanted him to stay. I wanted him so bad in that instant. I wanted him to show me how much he loved me, and to show me how much I meant to him.

He walked slowly over to me and put his arms around me. I couldn’t pull away. He stood behind me, buried his head in my neck and the wet warm tears from his eyes tickled my skin.

“For what it is worth, no one has ever meant to me what you do. I have loved you from the first time I saw you. I had to wait until you were old enough for me to love you. When you walked in with your aunt to run the campaign, I knew you were going to change my life. Take however much time you need to think things through. And when you do, don’t just think about the bad, the lies, Stella and Jade. Think about everything. Every kiss, glance, touch, orgasm. Remember it all. And then decide.”

He let me go, kissed my head, and walked out the door. I heard the limo pull away, and he was gone. I ached all over. My head, my heart, and even between my legs. I needed to decide if Alex Conrad was worth all of this.

Chapter Twenty

Reporters camped out at my condo and law office every day. Photos of me crying, makeup running down my face and getting into a cab were everywhere. Even more so, photos of Alex running after me filled social media. Women everywhere hated me for breaking Senator Conrad’s heart. Some radio station even held a contest to see who would replace me as his girlfriend, since I no longer wanted him. I hid out at Belulah’s for a week, and tried to clear my mind. She had a strict no TV, radio or newspaper policy, afraid the pressure from the media and mean comments would make me lose it all together.

But when I was least expecting it, one article made it through. The report said they had an exclusive on Senator Conrad that will blow his political career to pieces. It went on to say he was in a relationship with his former girlfriend’s daughter. It went into detail about my mom’s struggle with drugs, prostitution, and death from AIDS. As I tried to read the article, without losing consciousness, it stated basically that Alex had just been using my mom and feeding her drugs, to get to me as a teenager. The article stated we had improper relations when I was just sixteen, and he was thirty-three and we were now in a full-fledged love affair. I caused the breakup between him and his fiancé, Stella Simon, who was now in a mental institution.

“Grandma, what am I going to do? This will ruin Alex,” I cried, as she paced back and forth.

“Let me call Toby. She will get to the bottom of this,” she said, as she got my aunt Toby on the phone. Toby was like Victoria, only meaner. She would get this handled.

I listened as Toby yelled expletives and very unlady-like words from the other end of the phone.

“Toby’s headed down to their office now in full on Toby rage. She knows the editor-in-chief. Believe me honey, when she gets finished with them, it will not be pretty. You need to settle down and go about your business. You have a job and a life, and you need to start worrying about that.”

I wanted to return to my life, to pick up where I’d left off, to be normal again, but instead, I asked Beulah if Toby still had the cottage in Hyannis Port. It was an old beach house the family had used when my mom was young. No one had been out there for years except the groundskeeper. After my mom ran away, everyone just stopped going there. Toby made a call to the groundskeeper, and he told her he would have it ready for me the next day.

Beulah didn’t think I should be out there alone. She was afraid the press might follow me or someone would see I was staying alone and hurt me.

“Grandma, please. I am a big girl. I’m so tired of people thinking I’m still poor little Prudence. I need to get away from here and be alone,” I said, as I packed. I took only things I would be comfortable in. I just wanted alone time. I wanted time to get myself back and remember who I was.

“Can’t you just go stay at a hotel or a spa somewhere? I will pay for it, and I’ll know you’re safe. No one has stayed there in years, Prudence. I don’t even know what it’s like or if it’s falling in. I haven’t been out there since your grandfather passed away,” she pleaded. But I had already gotten a plane ticket and would be on my way in a few hours.

“I will be okay. I will call you as soon as I get settled. Please don’t worry, Grandma. I need this right now.”

“I know,” she said, holding my hands and looking into my eyes. “Now can this old lady give you some advice? I’ve been quiet and tried to let you work things out on your own. But there is something you need to hear.”

I tensed, nodded, and waited for my grandma’s wise words.

“I believe him when he said he did this because he loves you so much. I have known him and his family a long time and they are good people. Is he perfect? No man is. Believe me. But, I have seen how he is with you, the way he looks at you. I don’t think Alex is trying to play you. That man? He loves you, and you need to figure out what you’re going to do about it.”

“I hope so, Grandma. I’m in love with him. I just need to think all this through. I have had enough of people lying and keeping things from me. I need to be alone and figure out for myself whether he is worth my love.”

“I know you have, sweetheart. Can I drive you to the airport?”

“Yes, you can. Thank you, Grandma. I needed to hear that.” I hugged her tight.

“You are my special angel. I love you,” she smiled, holding on to me.

“I love you too. I hope you realize if it were not for you I would not be the person I am today,” I said.

“Listen, you are the person you are today because of
you
. You didn’t have to call me that day your mom threw you out of the trailer. You could have thrown my number away and went off, hooked up with a bum and took drugs just like she did. You didn’t because you are strong. You are a true Romaine and don’t forget that. It is not because of me or anyone else. It’s because of who you are inside.”

Maybe Grandma was right. Maybe I was tougher than I gave myself credit for.
 

Chapter Twenty-One

My plane landed around seven. I had never been to Hyannis before and had planned to enjoy spending time alone. As the cabbie drove me through the small town made popular by the Kennedys, I made a mental note of the boutiques we passed, hoping to visit them the next day. People were out in cardigans and khaki pants, enjoying the shops and the restaurants. Sprawling beachfront mansions lined every road as we made our way to my family’s property.