Loving Helen (16 page)

“I will be sorry to see you go,” Samuel said.

They stood silently for a minute, Samuel staring at her back and wondering at the charade he had come here to begin. Was it even worth attempting? Was there any possibility it could work? He didn’t see how, if Grace was determined to leave so soon.

Movement at the top of the stairs caught his eye; a flash of blue skirted out of sight.
Helen.
Had she overheard any of his conversation with Grace? If so, what did she think? He supposed, at the least, he ought to proceed with their plan for this morning.

Samuel cleared his throat. “Is Helen here?”

Grace turned to face him, brushing hastily at her wet cheeks.

He checked the impulse to step forward and offer comfort.
Would this entire thing not be easier settled were I to seek out Nicholas and perhaps knock some sense into him?
Unlike his former brother-in-law, Samuel was not usually given to violence. But seeing Grace’s tear-filled eyes made him keenly desire the opportunity for a solid punch to Nicholas’s jaw.

“You are here to see Helen?” Grace said, bringing him back to the room and the task at hand. “Yes, of course.” Her brow furrowed slightly as she gave him a peculiar look. “Is she expecting you?”

“I hope so,” Samuel said, forcing a smile.

Though it may be easier if she is not — if, over the course of the last two days, she has decided she wants no part of this ridiculous scheme.

Grace moved toward the stairs at the same moment Helen appeared at the top. Head bowed as she customarily held it, she began her descent, a sapphire-blue cloak swishing about her ankles. She reached the bottom, paused, then looked up at the two of them, wearing a dazzling smile.

“Good morning, Grace. Hello, Mr. Preston.”

Samuel took her gloved hand and kissed the back of it, lingering a few seconds longer than necessary, enough to enjoy the sweet scent of whatever perfume she wore.

“You look quite lovely this morning,” he said, finding it very true. Complimenting her on her appearance was easy. Helen
was
a beautiful young woman, perhaps never more so than this morning. Her golden curls were swept back from her face and held with a set of glittering sapphire combs that matched her cloak, the gown beneath it, and especially her eyes — eyes that seemed to sparkle with a joy he hadn’t before seen in them.

He was impressed with her acting already.

“Are you two going somewhere?” Grace asked, looking from one to the other uncertainly.

“I have been invited to play,” Helen said, laughter in her voice. “By Beth. It has been our habit for some time now.”

“And I have come to escort Helen across the snowy lane,” Samuel said.

“Aren’t you dressed a bit — formally — for play?” Grace asked, a hint of suspicion in her voice.

“Beth is quite particular about her playmates,” Samuel cut in. “She insists upon best dress and manners in the nursery.” He winked at Helen and watched a blush steal across her face. “Shall we be off?” With a twinge of guilt, he held his arm out to her. It didn’t feel right to be so jolly — or to be pretending at being so jolly — in front of Grace right now. As Helen placed her hand upon his arm, he reminded himself of their worthy cause.

“I’ll be back in a few hours,” Helen said, waving to her sister.

Samuel nodded. “Good day, Grace. I hope you find some peace in it.”

“Perhaps I shall,” she said, a curious expression on her face as Samuel turned from her and guided Helen to the front door.

He replaced his hat, and outside they walked in silence beyond the narrow drive and out of view of the guesthouse windows. Still Helen kept her hand on his arm. She had not acted uncomfortable with their closeness, and he wondered at this, given her skittishness on previous occasions. He considered telling her that she needn’t continue holding onto him but then thought better of it. If they were to convince others of their betrothal she needed to get used to touching him. Besides, he did not wish her to fall on the slippery ground. He hadn’t come to fetch her to play with Beth before, but he should have. He frowned, feeling rather appalled by his apparent lack of concern for a lady who had been in his care. The idea that he had neglected his guest so did not sit well.

Using his free hand, Samuel withdrew a folded piece of paper from his pocket, then shook it open. “Christopher suggested we begin with this list of things that we should know about each other. It seems he doesn’t have much confidence in my courting abilities.”

“It isn’t you he’s worried about,” Helen said. “I’ve never done any courting before — or rather, no one has ever courted me.” Her voice quieted with the admission.

“At your choosing, however. Is that not so?” Samuel asked, glancing at her. “I thought that you did not like attending balls, or even being out in public at all.”

“It is partially my choosing,” Helen said.

“Only partially?” His brows rose. “You do like going out? Or perhaps … Was there was someone you
wished
to be courted by?”

“Perhaps once.” She waved her hand dismissively —

What?
His curiosity was piqued. Was she so disbelieving of the idea that someone might find her attractive? That she felt so little confidence in herself bothered him.

“I was not speaking of simply a desire to be courted. What I meant was that it is not of my choosing to be — afraid of men.” She kept her gaze straight ahead as she spoke, as if focused intently on the path.

“You wish that you were not shy?” Samuel asked.

“I am not shy — truly,” she added. He leaned closer to better see her, a questioning, skeptical look upon his face.

“Ask Grace and Christopher or Miranda and Harrison,” she said. “Ask your daughter.”

“Those are all people you know well,” Samuel said. “It is one thing to be comfortable with family and friends, but you are shy with all else — even with me, somewhat, and I have known you more than three months.”

“You are a man.”

He barked a short laugh, then tried to cover it with a cough. “I am glad you’ve noticed. We shall call this lesson one in courtship: the lady must take note of a man.”

Samuel was beginning to see the wisdom of Christopher’s list.
Best to follow his advice. He knows his sisters much better than I.

“You are mocking me.” Helen stopped walking and faced him, her hand slipping from his arm.

“No — yes,” he admitted. “Perhaps a little.” He winced at the admission as she moved beyond his reach.

“I did not intend to tease,” he said. “It was the way you said
man
. As if I were a disease.”

A hint of a smile formed on Helen’s pretty mouth. “In my defense, most of the men I’ve met
are
.”

Samuel laughed again, and this time she joined him. It was a lovely sound, and hearing it made his heart feel surprisingly light.

“My dear Helen.” He scratched the side of his head. “It would seem that you have not become acquainted with the right sort of men. A few of us are decent fellows.”

“I know.” Her quick response had him glancing at her again and noting her rosy cheeks. He wondered if they were attributable only to the cold.

He reached for her hand, and she allowed him to take it. He tucked it into the crook of his arm as they started off on the path once more. “We shall work to overcome your concerns then, shall we?” Perhaps this exercise would benefit both sisters.

“We shall work to reunite Grace and Lord Sutherland,” Helen corrected in a tone that suggested she did not wish to speak of herself any longer.

“Agreed,” Samuel said. “But look, we are halfway to the house and haven’t discussed a single item on Christopher’s list. It would seem I am as hopeless as your brother believes me to be.” Samuel glanced at the paper again. “Ready to begin?”

Helen nodded and looked at him expectantly.

Samuel cleared his throat and attempted seriousness, though he found the paper and questions on it an annoyance. Surely he and Helen could carry on a conversation based on more important things than the trivial subjects before him. “What is your favorite color?”

She hesitated a moment, then spoke quietly. “Red.”

“That is somewhat surprising,” he said. “I would not have guessed.”

“I realize it is not an appropriate color for a lady to favor,” Helen said.

“You may prefer whichever color you like,” Samuel hurried to assure her. “Red is simply bold. I would have guessed that you prefer something calm, perhaps pink, like the gown you wore to the Christmas ball.”

“You remember what I wore that night?” Her fingers fluttered on his arm.

“Why does that so astonish you?” Samuel asked. “I guarantee that every man, excepting perhaps the near-blind Mr. Phillips, took notice of you. You were easily the most beautiful woman in attendance.”

She stopped walking but did not release his arm, so he was forced to stop too. “Remember, we are not pretending to each other, only to my sister and Lord Sutherland.” She looked at him reproachfully. “You cannot tell me I was the prettiest girl there when you had eyes only for Grace.” She pulled away from him and took a step back.

True enough.
He’d been focused on forcing Grace — and Nicholas — to a decision that night. Until now it had never occurred to him that in doing so he might have hurt Helen. “I spoke the truth about your beauty. But I am also guilty with regard to your sister.” Samuel held his hands out, palms up. “I did allow myself to care for Grace — more than I should have,” he admitted. “In my defense, I had other motives that night as well. Nicholas had made his feelings for Grace abundantly clear with their waltz, but I wanted him to act on those feelings and to come to a decision about his future with Grace. I believed that if I presented myself as competing for her affection he might finally take action. And they
were
engaged — in a manner beyond the betrothal forced upon them — the very next afternoon.”

“Only after
Grace refused
your
proposal,” Helen said, her brow wrinkling as if trying to puzzle it all out. “Were you not sincere in your offer, then?”

“Very much so,” Samuel said, feeling again the sting of the moments following Grace’s rejection. “I care for your sister, and I’m sure we could have been quite happy together. But before I asked the question, I knew what her answer would be. No one who saw Nicholas and Grace dancing could have mistaken the feelings of either. Whether she was ready to admit it to herself or not, she was already in love with him. My proposal forced her to examine her feelings and make a choice.”

“I think you are proving to be very good at this game we are playing,” Helen said. “You’ve already been manipulating the circumstances for months. This is merely a continuation.”

Samuel frowned. “
Manipulate
is a rather harsh word. I have never forced anyone to do anything, nor do I intend to now. I merely helped provide conditions where two people, whom I believed would be a good match, might have the opportunity to get to know each other and fall in love.”

“I am rather stunned at the trouble you went to for my sister,” Helen said. She searched his eyes. “Why? And why continue helping us now? We were complete strangers to you.”

“And what a pity that was.” Samuel found himself wanting to reach for her and hold her hands as he had held Grace’s so many times in a gesture of friendship, but he was not at all certain Helen would be comfortable with such a touch. Instead, he clasped his hands behind his back. “I watched your family at the theatre — your sister and brother, your grandfather …”

Samuel realized that he hadn’t seen Helen on those occasions. In truth, she’d never been a part of their outings.
By choice?
He both hoped so and hoped it was not so. Did she dread going out so much that’s she’d voluntarily missed out on the opportunities her grandfather had been able to provide? What other explanation could there be? Surely they had not excluded her deliberately.

“I’d never seen a trio more loving or concerned for one another,” he said. “I had determined to attempt to meet your family, but they quite suddenly stopped coming to the theatre. Shortly thereafter, I learned of your grandfather’s death, followed by word of your father’s intention to marry off your sister. So I made my interest known.”

“He intended to see
me
married,” Helen said, her voice quiet again. She looked down. “Grace persuaded Father that she was not too old to marry, and he sent her in my place. Once again, she saved me.”

“And so we shall save her now,” Samuel said. He looked at Helen a long moment, her golden curls hanging on both sides of her face as she studied the ground. Had Grace stepped in and protected her, sheltered her so many times that this extreme shyness and lack of confidence was the result? The idea bothered him. Helen needn’t be this way, needn’t miss the joys of life, whether that meant not attending the theatre or a ball, or being able to have a conversation with a man.

Or realizing her worth.

“I was in earnest about your being the most beautiful woman at Lord Sutherland’s ball.” He nodded slowly as she at last looked up at him. “In the short time I was there, I heard both ladies and gentlemen commenting on your beauty. The latter were quite smitten with you, while several ladies sounded as if they wished to
smite
you.” He grinned. “Envy never lies.”

“And beauty is not always a blessing,” Helen said.

“True,” Samuel said, guessing that she referred to difficulties with other women being envious. He doubted her sister was among those. “Grace is beautiful too, though her features are not as striking as yours. Her personality was what I found myself attracted to. She exudes confidence, speaks her mind, and is always up to some mischief. Life around her will never be boring — one reason why she is so good for Nicholas. He tends toward the boring and serious.”

“Grace and I are complete opposites in that regard,” Helen said with a sigh of dejection.

“I wouldn’t say that.” Samuel held his arm out, and she placed her hand upon it. “You’ve agreed to this
conspiracy
of Christopher’s — something very Grace-like of you to do.
Plus, your favorite color is red.” Samuel silently congratulated himself on directing the conversation back to the list. He was beginning to suspect that before this exercise ended, he would grow quite appreciative of Christopher’s paper and the safe topics it suggested.