Loving Heart (The Broken Heart Series Book 3) (13 page)

“Look, you have to leave.” I pushed him gently on his back towards the exit.

“Not until you tell me when I’m going to see you again.” he demanded. His blue eyes pleading and he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“I can’t see you.”

“Yes, you can and…you want to.” He knew I wanted to. It was written all over my face. I didn’t know why I felt the way I did about him. That one kiss had me lingering and he knew it. I wanted to feel him again and taste him. He made me nervous but, I really didn’t want him to leave alone.

“I can’t. Please don’t do this.”

“Jenesis, Hi…and you are?” Kate asked as she gazed him up and down.

“I’m Captain Nick Riso. I was asking Jenesis about the shooting of the man in her apartment. And you are?”

“Kate…The man who was shot is my husband.”

“We’ll be questioning you later then. Nice meeting you. Will you excuse us for a moment,” he grabbed my hand and we walked out of the hospital. He pushed me against the wall and pressed his body against mine. “Jenesis, when am I going to see you again?” he whispered.

“Nick, please. I can’t.” I couldn’t look him in the eyes. He knew I was lying.

“You’re lying. Is Michael staying with you?” he pressed his lips against my cheek.

“No, he’s leaving for California for a couple of weeks.”
why did I say that?
My heart was thrashing against my chest. My face was flushed.

“You mean…tomorrow. He’s leaving tomorrow.” He smirked. “I’ll be there tomorrow night. I want you.” he grabbed my hair and yanked it a little. “You need me as much as I need you.”

“Don’t speak to me like that.” He yanked my hair harder and smashed his lips against mine.

“I’m going to make love to you like Michael never could. He’s not in control, but I am, and I’m going to fuck you and you’re going to like it…no…you’re going to love it.” he whispered in my ear. I swallowed hard, but his hot breath in my ear made my clit swell and pulsate against my lace panties. I was so turned on at that moment that I actually lifted my hands and grabbed his waist. “Not here, Jen…tomorrow night. Wait for me, please.” I was out of breath, hoping he would pull my hair again, slide my pants down and fuck me against the brick wall. Oh my God…what am I thinking. I love Michael.
I. Love. Michael
.

“I have to go.” I whispered. I looked into his beautiful blue eyes and he let me go, then grabbed me again.

“It’s time to let him go because I’m not going to let you go.” He bit my earlobe and I flinched. He let me go and walked away hurriedly in the opposite direction. I was drenched and dizzy. I had to snap out of it before I walked back in to the hospital.

My body was quivering as I entered the hospital. I saw Michael talking to Kate. Michael saw me and waved. I walked towards them with the moisture sliding between my legs.

“Where were you?” he asked.

“Getting some fresh air.”

“Kate said you walked out with a detective.” I glanced over at Kate and she smirked at me.

“Yes, well they were asking some questions about Joe. So I went outside to speak privately. Are you here to see Joe?” I asked pissed off.

“I’d like to speak to you both. If that’s okay?” she said sternly.

“Okay, speak.” I said sarcastically.

“I know things have changed between you and Joe but, I want to let you know, he’s my fiancée, and I’m pregnant. I would like you to stay away until I have the baby. He’s not concentrating on me right now and I really can’t handle any of this.”

“How can you say that, Kate?” Michael said angrily.

“No, she’s right. We can’t impose on their life. But, so that you know, I offered to take care of him until he gets better. Now I know that I can’t. Michael and I are going through a rough time in our relationship Kate. I guess now’s the best time for me to look for my father’s support, so, get used it. I’m not walking out of his life. You’re not going to keep me away from
my father
. I know when he gets better, he’s going to look for me.” Michael's eyes lit up. Kate took a step back as if I actually pushed her.

“How dare you! You and your whore mother!” she barked and then without blinking, my five fingers met her sweet cheek. Her face was red with my hand's imprint burning her skin. She placed her hand on her cheek as the tears surged in her eyes.

“Don’t you ever talk about my mother!” I shouted.

“Jenesis, are you crazy? She’s pregnant!” Michael yelled.

“So am I! Go to hell! Both of you!” My anger was out of control. I finally felt relieved when I smacked her porcelain face. She didn’t deserve it, but she pushed me. I glanced towards Michael then quickly walked out of the hospital and hailed a cab home.

The ride home seemed endless. I was tired, hungry and aggravated. I thought about Nick. I thought about how hot his breath was on my cheek and how I melted when I heard his voice. He was strong. Someone I could count on, but my love for Michael was never-ending and as mad as I was with him, I couldn’t stay mad long enough to leave him.
How can I divorce the man that I love?
I’m just so confused.

I walked into the apartment and saw all of the yellow roses in the foyer and started to grab them one by one and threw them on the floor, stomping on them until they were shredded to pieces. I was so angry.
At everything
.
At everyone
.

I stopped suddenly when my baby kicked me gently. I walked over to the living room and sat on the couch grabbing the throw blanket my mother had given me, wrapping it around my weary body. I was worn-out and I wanted to end it all.
Just end it all.

                               
 
Chapter 10       Nick

I thought about Jenesis all night. I couldn’t get her out of my head. Her beautiful hazel eyes and jet black hair that was gripped in my hands. I wanted to hold her and never let her go. I needed to see her and I couldn’t wait until tonight. I got in my truck and drove to her apartment shooting her a text as I drove.

Today 2:33PM

Jen, it’s me Nick. Can I come up?

She responded in a flash.

Yes. Come up.

I pressed the elevator to go up to her apartment. And there she was, standing at the door in her pajamas. Her hair was tussled; she had just woken up. I walked towards her and she opened the door slightly just enough to let me in as my body gently brushed up against hers. I stepped on dozens of yellow roses that were crushed on the floor.

“Excuse the mess,” she whispered. Her tiny belly popping out of her pajama pants that hung underneath her belly button. “Please sit, I’ll make you some coffee.” she said.  I grabbed her hand gently and sat her on the couch.

“I’ll make it. Sit.” I said.

“Thanks, I’m going to wash up.” She headed to the bathroom as I turned on the Keurig. I glanced around the kitchen and found some croissants. I grabbed a plate that was on the counter and placed the croissants on it then, placed it in the microwave to make it warm. Her kitchen was spotless, like she hadn’t eaten in days. I opened the refrigerator and took out the cream and butter. The microwave beeped and I buttered the croissants and waited for her to come out of the bathroom.

“Wow…I didn’t know you could cook.” she giggled. She looked so beautiful in her sweatpants and tank top.

“Undercover chef as well.” I smiled.

“Thanks, I couldn’t get out of bed this morning. My phone has been vibrating all night and day. I’m sorry…and how are you?” she grabbed the coffee mug from the counter and sat on the chair with one leg underneath her plump ass.

“I’m fine. I couldn’t wait to see you.” her eyes met mine and I wanted her so badly, right there on the kitchen floor.

“What are we doing Nick?” she glanced away from me.

“I don’t know, but I know it feels right. Come here.” I held out my arms and she stood up and walked towards me. I grabbed her by the waist. “Jen, I don’t know why you let me in through that door, but I’m here. I’m here and I want you. I want …”

“Don’t say it.” she whispered.

“I want this to work.” I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her lips tenderly.

“Nick, I love Michael.” her eyes welled up with tears.

“You don’t know him and you’re not sure anymore. I can see it in your eyes, that’s why I’m here. That’s why you let me in. You have doubts.” I knew that would get her. I had her right where I wanted her. She couldn’t fight me off. I slid my hands down her back and grabbed her ass gently. She flinched and I pulled in for the kill. I slid my tongue into her mouth and sucked on her soft, velvet tongue. She felt like silk and tasted like sweet candy. My manhood was throbbing in my pants and I pushed up against her.

“Jenesis, I’ve waited so long for this.” I kissed her again and she held me by my waist moaning into my mouth. I grabbed her gently and lifted her onto the kitchen table. She pushed me off of her gently.

“This can’t be Nick. I’m sorry.” her sweet voice was so innocent, so innocent that I wanted to take my hands and wrap them around her pretty little neck and squeeze until she laid lifeless across the table. Her innocence made me crazy and turned me on to the point where I wanted to hurt her.
I wondered what she would look like with a dog leash around her neck? On her knees, sucking my dick on my command, as I shoved it down her throat making her gag.

“Let me touch you, taste you, here.” I placed my hand down her sweatpants, passing my finger over her lace panties over the folds of her sweet, tender sex. Then I placed her panties to the side. She spread her legs open for me a little, giving me the opportunity to slide my finger up and down her luscious wet folds. The moisture gushed over my fingers.  Then, she gently placed her hand over mind and removed it.

“I can’t. Please Nick. Don’t do this. I am confused. It would be wrong to hurt you in any kind of way.” she whispered breathing hard and staring at me with those beautiful, slanted hazel eyes. She wanted me to fuck her. Fuck her hard, pull her hair, maybe slap her around and hurt her a bit. I know she did. I didn’t care that she was pregnant either, it just turned me on even more. I didn’t want to rush things. I had to play the game.
So I did
.

“Okay…I’ll leave. Can I come back tonight?” I knew she would say yes. I was being a gentleman. There was no way she could fight off these beautiful, intense blue eyes. “Please?” I whispered in her ear.

“Look…I don’t know. Why don’t you call me later? We can talk,” I laughed internally. She would be mine no matter what she said and I would wake up the next morning in her bed, on top of her…
inside of her
.

“Okay, we’ll talk. But if you say yes, I’ll bring dinner. Italian.”

“That sounds good. We’ll talk tonight.”

“See you later.” I knew she would fall for it. I had her exactly where I wanted her and tonight she would be mine. No one could stop me. Dave was dead and Michael was out of the picture…
for now
. She was perfect and delicious and…going to make the biggest mistake of her life and Michael would never forgive her. I’ll make sure of it…I’ll make sure he’s gone…for good.

                        Jenesis     Chapter 11

     I awoke from my nap after Nick left, feeling like I didn’t sleep a wink. I had a dream I was walking with him and that my mother was standing beside us. I looked up at the ceiling, then glanced over at the window. The sun was slowly setting before my eyes, the orange glow illuminating the cirrus clouds around it. I stood staring at the peaceful scene, wishing and hoping that I wouldn’t fall under Nick’s spell when he picks up the phone to call me. The baby kicked me and reminded me that I should cancel, make up any excuse not to let him in, but my body said otherwise, I was hot and flushed, swallowing hard just thinking about him. Soon Nick would be here…again, and I would have to make a decision.

I got up and walked to the kitchen looking at the time on the microwave. I grabbed my cell phone to see if I had any messages. Michael sent me a text letting me know he boarded the plane to California and he would be there soon. He also found a place to live in Harlem. He said we should have it just in case I changed my mind about the divorce, then we could start our new lives there. My heart stung a little. I couldn’t see my life without him but I was so confused. Divorce was a big step and I didn’t think I was ready to go that route. The baby turned and rolled over in my belly making a set of waves over the skin of my stomach. I rubbed my belly gently and whispered,

“Hey there little guy.” I smiled. Another text came in. It was Joe.

Today 7:10PM

I’m feeling better. Can’t wait to see you.

Joe

I smiled again. A daughter smile. My heart leaped as I thought about Joe. A new beginning to our relationship with the hopes that Kate would disappear, but I knew that would never happen. I think I was too harsh on her. I really don’t want any animosity between us. She’s been very good to me. I had no right to slap her. My anger and nerves got the best of me though.

I grabbed my purse to get my lip gloss and a card fell out of my bag. I stared at the card Dr. Logan gave me on the floor.  I picked it up and read it.

Peter Lancaster, Private Investigator

124 West End Avenue

The Lancaster Company

212-555-3423

Dr. Logan thought it was a good idea to find out about Michael’s past. I wasn’t in the mood to think about this. Michael was out of town and this was the perfect opportunity for me to meet with this guy. I didn’t want to think about it. If I found out about his past, it would probably destroy us. I placed the card back in my purse and headed for the bathroom to take a shower. The water trundled against my tiny belly like satin beads. It felt so good. I turned the knob and made it extra hot to hit my back and aching neck. I was so stressed out and I couldn’t believe I was letting Nick into my life like this. This is when I needed my mother the most. Someone to speak to, and I had no one. Margaret was dead, Tilly was in London and the only person I could turn to was Michael and now, I didn’t have him either. I cried silently in the shower because I missed him so much, yet, Nick might be coming over. I needed someone in my life. I couldn’t be alone. I just couldn’t.

I blew out my hair then curled it with the hot curling iron. I was getting ready for a date, that’s how I felt. But I was pregnant, I didn’t know who the father was, and I was meeting another man tonight.
What was I doing?
I promised myself it wouldn’t go any farther than dinner, but Nick did something to me that I couldn’t explain. He had this mesmerizing power over me I couldn’t resist and I didn’t want to. I stared at myself in the mirror realizing I was making my life more complicated and cheating on Michael with Nick was not the answer. I picked up my cell phone and called Michael.

“Hello?” he whispered.

“Michael?”

“Hey, I’m in a meeting right now. Can I call you back in an hour?” I could hear the voices in the background.

“Umm…sure.” I hesitated, my voice trembling.

“What’s wrong? Is it the baby?” The baby kicked me again gently and I began to cry. “Hold on baby.” I heard him cover the phone with his hand.  “Excuse me, for a moment. I have to take this call.” I heard him say. “Jenesis, what’s wrong?”

“Michael, I need you to come home. Back home to me.”

“What do you mean? I’m working Jenesis. That’s all this is.”

“I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Of making bad decisions.”

“Jenesis, we are going to work on this relationship slowly. We can’t just jump back into this. I need therapy, you need therapy. It’s not healthy. We’ve been through so much. Where’s Annmarie?”

“I’m home.”

“Why? You should go to Annmarie’s now.”

“No. I don’t want to stay with her.”

“Jenesis, we’re not teenagers. We have to make the right decisions. What if something happens to you or the baby. You’re alone. It’s not safe after what happened in that cab.”

“I don’t know what that decision is. I’m so confused.”

“About what?”

“About…Nick” He stood silent on the phone. “Michael?”

“Nick…this is about Nick. Did he touch you? Did you touch him? Did you?” he shouted.

“Yes…I,” I felt so guilty I had to tell him the truth.

“Jenesis, why? Why did you let him touch you?”

“I don’t know! I’m attracted to him, I guess. He makes me feel beautiful and he said….he loves me.”

“Did you fuck him?” he yelled.

“No! Michael, please just come home!”

“No! How could you? We’re trying to work things out. Get our lives together and you’re thinking about fucking some lunatic? You’re a child! A naive child who’s always looking for someone to comfort and cradle you! Let him do it if you want to! You’re pregnant! For God’s sake! What are you thinking!”

“Michael, please! I’m sorry.” My lips trembled while the tears skidded down my cheeks.

“Did he kiss your lips? Did he taste your tongue? What’s wrong with you?” The screaming match was unbearable and I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Stop! Fine! Stay where you are!”

“You selfish…”

“No…stop…we can’t do this. I need to make this decision, not you. Good bye Michael.”

“Jenesis, don’t let him do this to you, to
us
. He’s not for you. He’s dangerous. I’m telling you, Jenesis! Jenesis?” I heard the desperation in his voice, but I didn’t care.

I hung up the phone and sat at the kitchen table. My insides were churning and soon Nick would be calling me. I heard a faint knock on the door.

“Who’s there?” I asked softly.

“It’s me Nick.” I looked through the peep hole and Nick was standing there with a shopping bag, a bottle of wine and flowers.

“Nick, I’m sorry, we can’t do this. Please go home.” I whispered through the door.

“Jen, please, open the door. Nothing is going to happen, unless, you want it to”

“Please Nick, just go…please.” I pleaded with him.

“This is ridiculous. Did you speak to Michael, is that it?” he shouted.

“Nick…I…”

“Fine. It’s fine. I’m leaving. Good bye, Jenesis” he said as he turned and walked away.

Then I did it.
I opened the door
.

“Nick…” I whispered.

“Jen,” he said standing staring at me.

“I’m sorry. I love him. I really love him.”

“You don’t. You just want to love him because that’s all you know. He’s all you know. But I’m standing right here with you. I love you Jen. I love you and the baby you’re going to have. If that’s not enough, then you’re right I should go and I am.”

“I just…I just…can’t. I’m pregnant with
his
child. I can’t love you both.”

“But you do, and you know it. Good bye.” he walked away from me and my heart split in two. He was right, my feelings for him were deeper than that.
Did I really love Nick and Michael?

                                      Chapter 12       Michael

I woke up sweating and my heart pounding against my chest. The pain in my heart was unbearable. I had a terrible dream that Nick was fucking
my
Jenesis. He was banging her hard! Hurting my kid inside of her. I literally felt the bile crawl up my throat from my stomach.

I can’t fathom that bastard anywhere near her, let alone, touching or kissing her.
She’s My world. She’s My heart
. I couldn’t stay in California for two weeks. She was an easy target for him right now and I wasn’t going to lose her to
him
. I can’t believe she’s falling for his shit! How could she not see how much I love her? I left to make money for
us
. I got a townhouse in Harlem for
us
.

I stared at my cell phone nervously. No messages. No phone calls. I have to go home. I have to make it right but I know it’s the wrong decision. I need to make this right. I picked up my cell phone and dialed her number.

“Hello?” she answered softly.

“Jenesis?”

“Michael?”

“Jenesis, I want you know that if you have to make a decision on your own then go ahead.” My voice trembled in anger.

“Michael, I’m tired. I’ve been throwing up all morning. I’m going to see Dr. Logan this morning. I’ll call you later. Okay?”

“I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. I’ll let you rest. I love you.” I whispered.

“Good bye Michael.” she hung up the phone. Her voice was indifferent and she didn’t say she loved me back. I hoped to God she didn’t sleep with him. I’ll kill him.
I swear to God,
I’ll kill him
.