Loving a Bad Boy (37 page)

“
Cell phones don’t work
here. I keep it quiet so she isn’t startled by odd or diff’rent
noises.”

“
Land line?” she squeaked
and then coughed to clear her throat.

“
No, walkie-talkie. That’s
so the staff can contact me. T’ings are basic here. Electricity for
lights and kitchen, no TV or nothing like that. Sometimes she likes
music. I have music tapes for her.”

Pam swallowed her disappointment as she
nodded. Hopefully Tex would track her so she could explain what was
happening, she didn’t want Julio to worry.

The past couldn’t be changed, and at least
she was here now. She waded through all the information presented
to her. Little by little it filled the empty spaces in her
mind.

Memories of her mom clashed with patients
she’d seen and worked with who'd suffered from Huntington's. It was
a brutal task master that left pain and heartbreak in its wake. The
disease had ravaged her mom’s body to the point Pam hadn’t
recognized her earlier.

What impact would that have had on her at
the age of nine? Granted, her rosy picture of her mom would’ve
changed but how much different would her life had been? She’d never
know the answers, so she didn’t dwell on the questions. Instead she
dug deep to bury her resentment of being left out of the loop. She
put on her professional persona, knowing this was the most
important patient she would ever care for.

She wiped her eyes as she looked around.
“Where’s mama’s room?”

“
Huh?” Her dad continued
looking at his hands.

“
I want to see her. I
wasn’t prepared before, but I’m ready to see her now.” In all the
years she had worked with elderly patients, she had never been
nervous. Her hands shook, and her tummy felt a little queasy at the
thought of caring for her mom.

He stared upward and remained silent for a
moment. “You sure?”

No, I’m
scared
. “Yeah.” She straightened and
returned his stare.

“
I can’t have you breaking
down crying again. It’ll upset her.”

His comment punched through her case of
nerves, riling her. Pam fought back her guilt and anger. “No one
told me I’d be seeing my mama or that she had an incurable disease.
I was hurt and surprised.” She waved away her explanations; this
was not the time for recriminations. Now that she had a moment to
think, she wanted to be with her mama right away. “Anyway, where’s
her room?” Still pissed at him, she turned from side to side,
looking for the hall.

He stood and started in the direction of the
living area. “This way.”

Pam followed him down a brightly painted
hallway until he stopped at a closed door. He glanced at her and
then opened the door. Peeking in, he spoke. “Pam’s here. She wants
to see her mama.”

“
P...Pam?” a thin voice
said. “Www…who’s that?”

Pam closed her eyes. Even knowing what she
did about the disease, it still hurt that her mom didn’t remember
her.

“
Your little girl, Nora.
Remember you told me how God blessed you with the most beautiful
baby girl?” Leeann said, her voice calm and full of good cheer. Pam
recognized that tone, she had used it many times to smooth over
awkward moments with some of her clients.

“
Well, she’s all grown up.
She’s a beautiful woman, reminds me of you,” Leeann
continued.

Her mom laughed and it warmed Pam’s heart. A
smile inched up her face as she watched her mom’s eyes crinkle with
mirth. “No, Pa..am l...l...looks ‘ike Zach.” Although her voice was
still thin, Pam released a breath at the response.

“
Well, Pam’s here wanting
to see you,” her dad said in a soft voice.

“
Www…where sss…she?” her
mom asked.

“
Right here.” He pointed
in Pam’s direction without realizing her mom couldn’t see his hand.
Pam moved forward to pass him. He held her off.

“
Sh…sh…she ccc..come see
me?” The slight whine in her voice had Pam pushing forward, and
stepping into the room before her dad had moved completely out of
the way.

“
Mama.” This time, she
took the time to really look at her mom. Searching for a hint of
the laughter and sweetness she remembered as a child. She returned
her mom’s stare. No one said a word as she and her mom connected on
what she prayed was a higher level reserved for mother and
child.

Her mom’s bent fingers moved upward and
covered her lips. “Pammie?” she whispered, clearly using the
nickname from when she was a child.

Choked, Pam cleared her throat, and took a
step toward the bed. Leeann sat in a chair next to the bed, but got
up and offered her the seat. “Mama. It’s me.”

Her mom’s face crumpled as her hand reached
hesitantly to Pam’s face. It shook so bad, Pam leaned forward,
placed it on her cheek and held it in place. The warmth of the
familiar hand swamped her. Tears leaked from her eyes as she stared
into the faded eyes of the woman she loved more than anyone. “I’ve
missed you, Mama,” she whispered, holding her mother’s hand
tighter, pushing it into her flesh. “I missed you so bad.”

“
Zach?”

“
I’m here.” He moved to
the other side of the bed and took her mom’s other hand.

Glassy eyed, her mom swallowed hard as her
body shuddered violently between them. “Sssshe’s b...eauti...ful.
Mmm…my b...baby bbb…beaut ...i...ful.” Her mom’s voice was garbled
and the words were hard to understand. But as Pam stared into her
eyes, she knew her mom recognized her and more importantly, loved
her.

“
I love you, Mama,” Pam
whispered, her voice heavy with the weight of her tears. “I’m so
sorry I haven’t been here for you.” Her breath hitched as she
fought down the pain threatening to overwhelm her. “Honestly, I
didn’t know you were sick. I would’ve been here.”

“
No.” That one word was
spoken clearer than anything her mom had said since she’d
recognized her.

Pam’s heart twisted as she watched as her
mom opened and closed her mouth, struggling to speak. Despite the
jerking and twisting of her head and her arms, she tried
desperately to make her point. Pam leaned back, afraid she had made
things worse as Leeann and her dad spoke in low tones to her
mom.

“
No.” her mom said again,
breathing hard.

“
It’s okay, Nora. Calm
down, baby.” Her dad’s large hand stroked her mom’s forehead,
soothing her.

Heart sore, Pam pushed away from the bed.
“Am I upsetting her?”

“
No,” her mom whispered
reaching toward her. Pam grabbed her thin hand and clung
tight.

“
G…go h…h…home.” It seemed
as though those two words sapped her mom’s reserves as she
collapsed against the pillows, closed her eyes and breathed hard.
Tears rolled down Pam’s cheeks as she watched her mama struggle for
each breath. How could anyone expect her to leave now? Soon her
mama would be in so much pain, she wouldn’t know who was in the
room, let alone the island.

Her stomach clenched with a new certainty.
Mama was dying. Gingerly, she reached forward and smoothed away
some of the wrinkles on her mom’s forehead. The soft, loose skin
moved fluidly beneath her touch. “I love you, mama,” she whispered
as she bent forward and placed a kiss on the forehead she had just
stroked.

“
Pammie,” her mom said on
a sigh without opening her eyes.

Pam’s fist flew to her mouth to stop the
loud sob that had formed. After a few deep breaths and Leeann’s
strokes on her back, she calmed down enough to sit still for a
moment or two before catching her father’s morose stare.

He nodded. Whether it was his approval of
her actions or his understanding that she was not going anywhere,
she had no clue. But there was something solid about the two of
them being together with her mom again, as a family.

All her life she’d ached for her parents,
had felt they had abandoned her and worse, that they didn’t love
her. For the first time since she was a child, her daddy’s gaze was
unguarded and she saw the same love for her that she had seen in
her mother’s eyes.

Unable to swallow around the golf ball-sized
lump in her throat, she reached across the bed for him. He took her
hand and squeezed. Together, they sat in the quiet of the room,
watching the woman they both loved, sleep.

Chapter 25

Julio hung up the phone, glad his hunch had
played out. The meeting would be delayed by three hours; still
there was much to do. Moving quickly, he placed a few more calls to
insure all parties were being watched and that he could pull them
in as soon as the trap was set.

After sliding behind the wheel of his car,
he glanced at his watch and called Pam. After a few rings it went
to voice mail again. Scowling, he clicked off and made another
call.

“
Everything good?” he
asked as soon as Tex answered.

“
Yeah. I sent you the
information you needed.” Tex laughed. “Who would’ve thought they’d
have the balls to try that shit. You sure I can’t fly over to see
you pull this one off. Francisco is gonna shit all over
himself.”

Julio grimaced as he pulled into traffic.
“And you wanna see that, right?” he drawled. “That’s just
sick.”

“
Maybe I’m just bored and
need a little excitement.”

Julio exhaled. They had gone over this
before and it was getting old. “Okay, I’ll have you outta there in
a week or so. That work for you?” He hadn’t talked to Pam in a
while and was getting antsy. Had she hooked up with Boots? No, he
argued, she wouldn’t have done that. They had something special, he
had to trust her. But why hadn’t she called him?

“
It works for me. Question
is, will it work for you and Pam? I know you don’t want to leave
her here without protection. And I don’t think she’s ready to go.
Maybe in that week you’re giving me, she’ll show up, but if
not?”

“
If not what?” he snapped,
angry that Tex had hit his sore spot.

“
Just saying.” Tex paused.
“Look, I’m just giving you a hard time. I don’t mind staying to
watch out for her until she’s ready to come home. Plus, her niece
is home visiting her peeps this week and she’s been real
hospitable.”

Julio turned off the freeway heading toward
the warehouse district. “Tara? Is that her name?”

“
Yeah.”

“
She’s there and Pam
isn’t? What’s going on?” He swung sharply to avoid slamming into
the back of another car.

“
I dunno. She hasn’t seen
Pam either. She said she was going to ask her dad where Pam was
hanging out before she left to go back to school,” Tex
said.

Julio didn’t like the sound of that. Not one
bit. He pulled into the warehouse parking lot, slammed on the
breaks and brought the car to a halt. He took a second to school
his thoughts.

Focus
.

There was no way he could enter that
building pissed, and yes, worried about the situation with Pam.
He’d thought things were pretty good between them. She’d accepted
his jealousy, his rough sex, even him toting a gun.

Now she’d disappeared, after leaving him a
short message a few days ago. What if those assholes who broke into
her place followed her there? Or that Boots asshole had taken her
somewhere, with or without her father’s permission. There were
countless possibilities and none of them pleased him. He stroked
his brow, half-listening to Tex.

Pam was
his
. Those three words became a chorus in
the back of his mind, rising in tempo and volume until it drowned
out every other thought. She was his to take care of. His to
protect. His to love.

“
Find her.” He interrupted
Tex with his directive.

“
What?”

“
You heard me, find Pam.
Make sure she’s alright. I need to be sure nothing has happened to
her.” There was a thread of panic in his tone that bothered him,
but he couldn’t help it. Too many days had passed since he’d heard
her voice. His mind re-played too many scenarios with her in a
starring role for him to be complacent.

In his world, privacy was an illusion. Still
he hoped no one had discovered she was his weakness. Under other
circumstances he’d let this pass. But there were men out there who
wanted to bring him down. And abducting Pam was a sure way to
accomplish that. It’d been a big mistake not coming clean with her
about his involvement in the organization. She could be blindsided.
He shook off the morose thoughts and listened to Tex.