Loving (30 page)

Reagan put her hand on Andi’s shoulder once more. “How do you feel now? More than two years after giving him up?” Reagan’s concern was genuine. She clearly cared how Andi was doing. “I’ve wanted to ask, but I figured it’d be better in person.”

Andi nodded, massaging her throat with her fingertips so the tightness would go away. “I’m fine. Really.” She smiled at Reagan, grateful this was the woman God had brought along to adopt her son. “I’m dating Cody Coleman. You remember him?”

“I do. He was at a lot of get-togethers with this group for many years. The two of you are serious?”

Andi thought about Cody and a warm feeling worked its way through her. “I feel like all my life has led to this, to the two of us being together.”

“That’s wonderful.” Reagan hesitated, like she was waiting to hear more about how Andi felt. “He knows about Johnny?”

“He does. We knew each other in college, so he was aware of the situation.” She couldn’t help but stare as the boy put his chubby arms around Reagan’s neck, completely comfortable in her embrace. The scene made Andi’s empty arms ache, even as her heavy heart felt fuller than it had all day. Johnny scrambled down again and ran to the mat once more. Since he was not focused on them, Andi wanted to be honest. “You asked me how I feel.” She looked at Reagan, her voice low. “I feel completely convinced that I did the right thing. I wasn’t ready to be a mom. And I have nothing but terrible memories of the guy who … the birth dad.” She smiled at the little boy. “It was the right thing. Definitely.” She paused. “Even though I long for a time down the road when I’m married and ready to have my own baby.”

“I understand.” Reagan listened, her expression full of peace. “God alone could’ve brought our families together, and He did it
without either of us even knowing that we already had a connection through the Flanigans. You did the right thing, Andi.”

“Thank you. I needed to hear that.” Andi sniffed a little and once more she looked at the child playing on the floor. “And thanks for letting me have this time.”

“We told you that when you chose us to be his parents. We’ll raise him to know who you are and how your decision was rooted in the deepest love.”

“I appreciate that.”

Andi stood up. Their time together was over. Nothing left to say or do. But before they could head into the kitchen again, Reagan stood and prayed for Andi, that God would bless her relationship with Cody and that she would feel the Lord’s divine peace whenever she thought about giving her son up for adoption.

Andi hugged her and Johnny at the same time and she thanked Reagan again. As she walked away, Johnny called out, “Bye!”

She stopped and turned around, and one final time, their eyes met and held. “Bye, Johnny. Be good for your mama.”

He giggled and threw his arms around Reagan. At that, Andi met up with the others and as Bailey’s mom drove away, Andi quietly thanked God for the very great chance she’d been given that day. She reminded herself that she was at peace with her decision. Absolutely. Still, with everything in her she knew she would remember two things from this day for the rest of her life. The way he had looked at her for that single sweet moment.

And the way it felt to have her baby boy in her arms one more time.

T
HE DAYS AND WEEKS SEEMED TO DRAG ON, BUT ONLY BECAUSE
Brandon could hardly wait. Not only for the wedding but for the honeymoon. He was surprising Bailey with a week at a South Pacific resort on Turtle Island in Fiji. The island was secluded and green and covered with low-lying mountains and stretches of white sand beaches. The water was shallow and warm and blue, and every day was paradise. Brandon had gone there once for a movie shoot a year before he met Bailey. The resort — the only one on Turtle Island — included residences for just fourteen couples. It was a famous spot even back in the 1980s when the movie
Blue Lagoon
was filmed there. They would fly to LAX and then to Fiji, and finally take a small seaplane into the harbor at Turtle Island.

For their honeymoon, Brandon rented out the whole place.

Dreams of their honeymoon fended off the chilly winter while Brandon and Bailey stayed busy painting several rooms in the lake house. They had constant help — not just with the paint but in finding new ways to keep from being alone. And in that way they survived February and rounded the corner into March. The new private life Bloomington afforded Brandon was something he still couldn’t fully believe. Almost every day he told Bailey he had just one regret.

That he hadn’t done this sooner.

The icy winter left in a hurry and starting the Friday before their wedding Indiana’s March temperatures became the warmest
in five years. Most of the rehearsal at Clear Creek Community Church was a blur. But Brandon would always remember bits and pieces. The way Bailey’s parents looked at each other as the practice began, a beautiful look of love that had come full circle. Love that remembered standing in a church like this and being the couple all the fuss was about. And a love that had only become stronger on the way to watching their daughter make that same commitment.

Watching her find that same kind of love.

Brandon would remember that, and he would remember the way Bailey seemed to walk on air, flitting from one bridesmaid to the next making sure everyone had their dresses and shoes and the vintage necklaces she’d given them at a luncheon earlier that day. He watched her as often as he could. As long as no one was asking him anything his eyes were on her. She was a vision, a miracle, an answer to every prayer he’d ever said. Her prayers had helped save his life, after all. And he would remember the way her eyes danced as they held hands and stood in the same place they would stand tomorrow when it was the real thing.

“This is really happening!” she whispered as she leaned close to him, a soft squeal coming from her. “I’m so happy, Brandon.”

He would remember that.

And he would remember his parents arriving at the church. They walked in through the back doors and stopped a few feet inside. Just stopped and stared at him as if they still couldn’t believe he’d forgiven them or that they were privileged enough to be part of his life. He excused himself from the group of Bailey’s brothers and walked down the aisle to meet them. This time their hugs came easier. His father wrapped him in the biggest, warmest embrace, a hug that said everything they hadn’t said since Brandon was a teenager. And his mom put her arms around both of them, the tears on her face proof that they all still needed time to find true healing. Either way, as he watched his parents
walk through the back door of the church during the wedding rehearsal, he felt like any other normal groom. He had parents.

A reality he would always connect to this day.

But most of all he would remember the way it felt after the rehearsal dinner when they left the church’s fellowship hall and it was time to go their separate ways. When Brandon pulled Bailey around the corner of the church and kissed her goodbye. He would remember it because the next time he kissed her she would not be Bailey Flanigan.

She would be Bailey Paul.

Clearly she was thinking the same thing because she whispered to him as she looked straight through to his already full heart, to the heart that had belonged to her from the beginning, “After tonight, I never have to go home without you. Never again.” She kissed him. “Isn’t that the most amazing thing?”

“Not as amazing as your eyes tonight.”

Her expression grew deeper, more sensual. “Not as amazing as
tomorrow
night. When the party’s over.”

“Mmmm.” Brandon touched his lips to hers and the kiss grew until for the last time as long as he lived he did what he would never have to do again.

He took a step back.

And he realized he would also remember the look on her face in that moment as they said goodnight — the love and trust, the faith and hope, the intense and innocent passion … Without a doubt he would remember that.

He would remember all of it, and as he turned in that night he remembered one enormously important aspect of this, their wedding weekend.

The faithfulness of God, who alone had brought them to this point, and who would weave their hearts together from this day forward. So that one day when they had a precious daughter and she fell in love and found herself standing at the front of a church
looking into the eyes of the man who was everything to her, Brandon and Bailey would be lost in their own moment, caught up in a look of love that had survived the decades.

Like Jim and Jenny Flanigan.

B
AILEY DIDN’T WANT TO BE OUT TOO LATE
the night before her wedding. She’d had a plan since she was twelve years old about how she would spend this night. After saying goodnight to Brandon, she headed home with her parents and brothers. All of them, together in the family car, the way she doubted they would ever be all together again.

“It’s sort of weird.” Ricky sat behind Bailey. He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned close. “It’s like the last night you’re part of our family.”

“Ricky!” Connor sat beside Bailey, and at that comment he turned, more surprised than outraged. “Don’t say that.”

“You know what I mean.” Ricky allowed a little frustration into his tone at the possibility of being misunderstood. “Like after this she won’t live here and she’ll ride around with Brandon.” He looked at their mom in the rearview mirror. “Right, Mom? You get it, don’t you?”

Her eyes shifted to Bailey’s, and in a handful of seconds a lifetime of memories flashed in her sad smile. She turned back to Ricky. “Yes, honey. I get it.”

“Yeah, but she’ll still be part of our family.” Connor slipped his arm around her shoulders. “She’ll be over all the time and nothing will change.”

Bailey let the thought hang in the warm air that blew through the open Suburban windows. As she did, she slowly rested her head on Connor’s shoulder. From the corner of her eyes she saw a single tear roll down Connor’s cheek. She wasn’t surprised. Her brother, the one who had been her best friend growing up,
certainly knew that the truth was something they would all have to accept.

After tomorrow everything
would
change.

They pulled into the driveway just before nine, and as they climbed out of the SUV her dad turned to her and held up his hands, giving her a look that said the decision was hers. “Are we on?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good.” Her dad smiled even while his eyes glistened. “I’ve looked forward to this since the first time we saw it together.” Her dad and mom joined hands. They walked a few steps ahead and her mom smiled back at her as they went. “I’ll get it set up.”

“I’ll make popcorn.” Justin held the door for their mom and then ran ahead of their parents. “Hot popcorn coming up!”

Shawn and BJ hurried in behind the others as Ricky came up and gave Bailey a side hug. “What I said … I didn’t mean anything by it.” He looked into her eyes. “Okay?”

“Ricky.” She put her arms around his waist and hugged him for a long time. “Of course not.” Her eyes looked up and she gasped lightly. “What’s happening here? When did you get so tall?”

He grinned. “Six-foot-four.” With great relish he stuck his chin out. “Taller than any of the other Flanigan boys. Even dad. That’s pretty good for fourteen years old.”

“It is.” She looked down at his feet. They were seriously the longest feet she’d ever seen this close up. “What about your shoes?”

“Size sixteen.” Again he puffed out his chest. “Dad says it’ll be a while before my age catches up to my shoe size.”

Bailey wondered how she’d missed this. He was tall, of course. Always tall. But almost overnight he had changed. He didn’t look like a kid anymore. Now he was a young man. “I promise this.” She gave him a pointed look, enjoying the time with him. “I’ll be around a lot. And the way I love you will never change.” She kissed his cheek. “Okay, buddy?”

“Okay.” The answer seemed enough for him. He bound inside after the others and as Bailey grabbed her purse from the seat and shut the door, Connor stepped out of the shadows. “Hey.”

“Hey.” She stopped and angled her head. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I guess.” He dug his hands deep into his pockets. “I love Brandon. You two are perfect together.” Tears welled in his eyes and he cleared his throat, trying to find his voice. “It’s just … it’s gonna be weird having you live somewhere else.”

She could’ve told him that she’d already lived somewhere else for the year she danced on Broadway, or when she was in LA. But she understood what he meant. Those places were never home. And now her home would be at the lake house with Brandon. She waited long enough to acknowledge that he had a point. Then she linked arms with him. “You and I … we won’t ever change. Our times at CKT, the growing up years … Christmas mornings.”

“The movie lines and inside jokes.” He chuckled, even though his cheeks were red from holding back his tears. “The dance parties in the kitchen.”

“Right.” She laughed too. “All that will always be here.” She touched the place over her heart. “And here.” She looked around the big garage and toward the back door. “Every time I’m home.”

He nodded and coughed again. Then, in a move that she believed must’ve taken all his effort, he smiled big and nodded toward the house. “Let’s go watch the movie.”

By the time they walked inside their mom and dad had the movie on the big screen in the TV room paused and ready to play. The popcorn was made and BJ was handing out water bottles. “Definitely a chick flick,” he raised his brow at Bailey. “But this once I guess it makes sense.”

Everyone laughed and after Bailey poured herself and her mom a cup of tea, they sat around the room, all eight of them. One last night with the whole Flanigan family. The movie, of course, was Steve Martin’s
Father of the Bride
. Bailey sat between
her mom and dad, and Connor sat on the floor beside her, his back against the couch. From the opening line the movie was funnier and deeper, more emotional than any other time when Bailey had watched it. Same for the rest of them, she was pretty sure.

They laughed out loud when George Banks started the movie saying how he used to think weddings were a simple affair — until he threw one. And Bailey’s dad exchanged a look with her at several points — when George gave Annie an espresso machine and when they were in the hallway of their house the night before Annie’s wedding and her little brother told her goodnight and that he loved her. Because in that moment George knew what Bailey’s dad knew at this very hour.

That tonight was here at last.

Through the hysterical planning Bailey laughed so hard she had tears. But her tears didn’t start for real until the wedding scene when through voice-over George Banks realized that Annie was all grown up and leaving them, and something inside him began to hurt.

Bailey’s dad reached over and took her hand. “I love you, honey.” His voice was low so the others could still hear the movie.

“I love you too.”

She fought her emotions through the beautiful wedding and even through the frustrating scenes when poor George couldn’t get a minute alone with his daughter. Bailey didn’t watch the movie so much as she lived in every scene. “Dad,” she whispered. “If there’s a problem tomorrow, don’t get caught up in the details. Stay close so you don’t miss anything!”

“Got it.” He gave her a thumbs up. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

When the movie was over, Bailey’s dad turned off the TV and smiled at the group of them. “I love this. Having us all together.”

He didn’t add that it was for one last night, but everyone felt the hours melting off the clock. Tomorrow would come and this
moment would pass. But for now they all seemed to savor the look and feel, the familiarity and joy of having them all together in one place. Her dad pulled his Bible off a nearby table and opened it. “You all know this, but your mom and I have prayed for each of you kids, about your future spouses since you were born.” He smiled at Bailey. “Which means we’ve prayed for Brandon Paul since we first brought Bailey home.”

There were no funny remarks or silly laughs. Everyone in the room seemed to understand that God was among them, and that He was smiling at the wedding about to take place. Her dad read from 1 Corinthians 13 — The Love Chapter.

“Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”

The words resonated in Bailey’s heart as she looked around the room. Her family wasn’t perfect, but they were an illustration of the verses. Bailey looked at Connor and she remembered a thousand times when he had refused to take credit for one good thing or another. Same with her younger brothers. Her dad continued. “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs.”

A smile tugged at Bailey’s lips. Weren’t those the words her mom had always used whenever she and her brothers disagreed? Love kept no record of wrong, no list. It was something else she would take to her new life with Brandon.

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” Her dad turned to her, his eyes full of yesterday. “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” He paused. “Love never fails.”

“Amen.” Ricky clapped his hands and looked around. “That’s what I’m talking about. Love doesn’t fail.” He pointed at Bailey. “And it doesn’t end.”