Lovesessed (2 page)

“
Ben is not immature. He
likes to make people laugh. Besides, he is our best friend so you
shouldn’t call him immature.”

“
He always acts silly. I
prefer people to laugh with me, rather than at me.”

“
He wants to be an actor,”
Liz pointed out. “Where is he anyway?”

“
He’s painting sets for
the Theatre Club. But you have to agree that he is the class
clown.”

“
I guess you could say
that,” Liz admitted hesitantly.

Ben was like the brother I never had.
He had always been the most important guy in my life, until Chase
came along. “I know that Ben is a sweet guy. He’s always so
helpful, offering to carry my books to class, and holding doors
open for me. I like that he’s a gentleman. But Chase is the best
guy ever, much better than any guy at our school, or any
school.”

“
There goes the bell for
the end of lunch.” Liz quickly gathered her things. She was never
late for anything.

Chase’s blue eyes watched me as I
picked up my books. “Somehow you will be mine,” I whispered to his
picture, and hurried to catch up with Liz.

#

“
I hate P.E. with a
passion,” I moaned.

“
Join the club,” Liz
mumbled.

“
I think we’re physically
challenged.”

“
Hey, I resent that,” Liz
protested nudging me.

“
But whatever ball sport
we play, we always end up dropping the ball, if we even catch
it.”

“
I can’t deny that,” Liz
admitted, sitting down on the stand beside me.

Our coach, Miss Jackson, was making us
play basketball. We always had too many players, because the guys
and girls played together. Liz and I were among those who had
volunteered to sit on the stands and cheer for the players. I had
never got the hang of dribbling and running at the same time, so I
always chose to sit out rather than embarrass and/or hurt myself.
“I like watching Ben play, even though he’s no Michael Jordan. I
mean, he’s not bad at sports, but he’s not the best.”

“
Yeah, he’s more into the
arts.”

Ben kept looking over at
us every five seconds, and we waved at him and gave him the thumbs
up, like he
was
an LA Lakers player.

“
Liz, I know that I’m not
the only one with feelings for Chase. But I know that if he knew
me, just got to meet me even once, he would fall in love with
me.”

“
It’s possible,” she said,
not taking her eyes off the game.

“
Take that band Hanson for
example.”

“
Who’s that?”

“
They were the Carson of
the Nineties. Hanson was also made up of three teenage brothers.
Every single one of them met their wives at their concerts. The
girls were fans in the crowd! So there’s hope for me.”

“
Wow, I didn’t think that
really happened.” Liz said surprised. “Maybe I’ve been too
cynical.”

“
I’m glad you’ve seen the
light.” I said satisfied. “I’ve literally dreamt about how it would
happen. In the dream I went to a Carson concert. I made my way
through the crowd of girls going nuts, slowly moving towards him as
if there was a magnetic attraction between us. It only took about a
minute but felt like hours, because everything happened in slow
motion, just like in his music videos. I walked through the haze of
smoke until I was at the front of the crowd by the stage. Chase
looked down and focused right on me. He couldn’t take his eyes off
me. He smiled at me, and my heart raced. He sang the rest of the
song to me. Then, just as he reached his hand out to invite me
onstage, and dedicate a song to me – I woke up.”

“
I only dream about
everyday stuff, like going to school. Once, I dreamt that I had to
write an exam on a country that doesn’t exist, and I hadn’t
studied.”

I laughed. “That’s typical of you to
dream about school.”

“
It was such a horrible
dream. It was more like a nightmare. When I woke up, I was drenched
in sweat. Gross.”

“
The nightmare of the girl
who didn’t study,” I said, putting on my deep announcer
voice.

Liz pushed me gently. “Speaking of
sweat, I’m sweating like a pig, and I’m not even
playing.”

“
It’s these polyester
outfits.” I pulled a face at the shapeless blue and yellow P.E.
outfits. “It’s been nice weather for February.”

“
That’s California for
you, we sweat even in February.”

“
Don’t you think it’s cool
that we live in Orange County? The show I watched religiously
called The O.C., made this place famous.”

“
Never heard if it,” Liz
said casually.

“
Are you sure you’re not a
40-year-old trapped in a 14-year-old body?” I joked.

“
Huh?” Liz shot me a
confused look.

“
You know, like those
movies where teenagers switch bodies with their parents. Are you in
there Mrs. Fraser?” I whispered. We both laughed.

“
Look, Ben just scored a
point.” We shouted his name and clapped loudly. He glanced at us,
and turned a bright shade of red.

“
Anyway, can we get back
to Chase please?”

“
Does it matter what I
say?” she asked playfully.

“
Not really,” I joked. “I
can’t wait to see him perform live, in person. If he could just
meet me in person, then he’d realize that we’re meant to be
together. When I listen to him sing, I feel like he wrote those
words for me, and is singing to me. Even though he has never met
me, I feel like he knows I’m out there, and he’s waiting for me. I
believe that my dreams will come true, because the Law of
Attraction says that what you think about and desire becomes
reality. You create your own reality.”

Liz sat up straight. “Now, that I do
believe. It has been scientifically proven that the energy we put
out, we attract. The world is made up of energy, and our thoughts
are just energy. Our thoughts actually determine our
reality.”

“
My thoughts are all about
Chase, so I should be attracting him to me as we speak,” I said
gleefully.

“
Oh no, look!” Liz
exclaimed.

I jumped. “What?” I asked, following
her gaze to the basketball court.

Ben was lying on the ground in the
middle of the court, surrounded by a crowd. “Ben!” I shouted
automatically.

We both ran over to where he lay, and
knelt beside him. I panicked when I saw his eyes closed.

“
Ben, are you ok?” I could
hear the alarm in my voice. I wiped his wet hair off his forehead.
“Ben, if you can hear me wiggle your toes.”

He opened his brown eyes and looked
right in my mine. “I’m fine,” he sounded like he had been punched
in the stomach. I helped him sit up slowly. “I’m not in a
coma.”

“
I’m so happy you’re
alive!” I gushed, throwing my arms around his neck.

“
Hey, relax. You can’t get
rid of me that easily.” He smiled weakly.

“
Sorry,” I said, releasing
my vice grip around his neck, and giving him some room to
breathe.

“
Ok, everyone go get
changed.” Miss Jackson shouted. “Ben, let’s get you to the
nurse.”

“
I’ll take him,” I offered
quickly. Ben looked at me. I made him put his arm around my
shoulders.

“
Thanks,” he said as he
limped to the nurse, whose office was luckily close by.

“
No problem. You’re always
the one helping me. Let me help you for a change. You’re my best
friend Benji.”

“
You’re the only person
I’ll let call me that,” he laughed weakly.

*****

2. Sleepover

On the weekend, Liz came over to my
house for a sleepover. Apart from Chase, sleepovers were my main
thrill in life. Liz and I always had movie marathons. I liked to
watch musicals and chick flicks, while she chose dramas. She
usually let me watch what I wanted, but she drew the line at Disney
movies. I always made her watch my Carson concert DVDs and music
videos. I knew that she secretly liked watching their concerts,
because she had a crush Chase’s younger brother, Nick, who was our
age. But she wasn’t in love, like me.

“
Liz, I had another dream
about Chase last night. I think it’s a sign.”

“
What do you mean by a
sign?” she asked casually while unpacking her toiletries in my
connecting bathroom.

“
That what I desire is
getting closer.” I pointed to my pictures.

“
Tell me about your
dream,” she said, sitting on the other side of the bed.

I lay down. It felt like Liz was my
Psychologist and I was having a therapy session. We just needed one
of those couches. “Like the other dream, I went to one of Chase’s
concerts. I looked really good, so I knew that he would notice me.
He saw me in the crowd and immediately focused on me. I could tell
that he was majorly checking me out. I felt like butterflies were
fluttering in my stomach. He put his hand out to me, but instead of
waking up at that point like I did the last time, the dream carried
on. So then, he pulled me up on stage and the spotlight shone on us
while he sang our song ‘Love Struck.’ You know it’s that love song
that I’ve always thought was our song because he sings: ‘Lost in
your green eyes, whatever it takes I’ll do/’Cos I knew I loved you,
the first time I saw you.’ He sang the whole song to me. He held my
hand and only looked at me as he sang, like he really was ‘Love
Struck.’ It felt so real. I could actually feel the emotions, like
it really was happening, and I felt like I was floating on a cloud.
Now that I know how it feels for him to want me too, I want him
even more. He looked so hot in my dream. Why can’t I just live in
my dream?”

“
Umm Hmm…” Liz nodded, and
tapped her finger against her cheek. She had been listening
attentively without interrupting. “So, what do you think the dream
means?”

“
Aren’t you supposed to
tell me that?”

“
No, dreams have very
personal interpretations. It mainly depends on how you feel in the
dream, what emotions you experience.”

“
Well Dr. Freud, I think
that my dream is definitely a sign that I’ll meet Chase soon, and
possibly a sign that we’re soulmates.”

“
You could be right. Life
is full of surprises,” she said philosophically.

“
You’re usually more
realistic. What happened?” I asked suspiciously, narrowing my
eyes.

“
I just have a feeling
that maybe the Law of Attraction really works. Or maybe it’s our
prayers that get answered.”

“
I always feel better
talking to you. I know that you won’t judge me, even though you are
the voice of reason. It really helps to get stuff off my
chest.”

“
I’m glad you feel better
talking about it. Was that your phone or mine?” Liz said reaching
for her cell phone in her handbag.

“
Mine,” I said looking at
my phone on my dressing table. It’s a text from Ben.”

“
Hmm…” Liz tapped her chin
like she was analyzing the deeper meaning.

“
What?”

“
Nothing…” she said
innocently.

“
He just said that he
hopes I’m having a good time at the sleepover, and that he was
thinking of me.”

“
Hmm hmmm…”

“
You can stop with the
Freud act Liz, the therapy session is over.”

“
Did he end the text with
‘L-U-V,’ or ‘L-O-V-E,’ or what?”

“
Huh?”
“Well if he used the first one, then it means friendly love, but if
he used ‘L-O-V-E,’ then that means, well … love.”

“
He ended it with
‘L-O-V-E.’”

“
Hmm hmmm…” She nodded,
very interesting.

I sighed, and hid under my duvet.
“You’re taking this whole Freud thing too far.”

Earlier in the day, Liz
had come with me to buy the new edition of
Teen Idol
magazine. I always got it
on the day it came out. I’d stuck a poster of Chase on the bit of
space that I could find on my wall above my bookcase.

“
Phoebe, every time I come
to your house, there’s a new poster added to your collection,” Liz
said, examining my Chase wallpaper. Liz’s room was the opposite of
mine.

“
Well, at least I don’t
only have framed pictures of flowers and plants on my walls. I have
never understood how people can enjoy looking at giant close-ups of
plants everyday.”

“
Hey, I resent that.” She
hit me with a pillow.

I brushed my hair out of my face.
“Well, I prefer looking at faces, especially one in particular.” I
looked at the pictures of Chase covering my bedroom walls. “My mom
says that she can’t even remember the colour of my bedroom walls
anymore, but we both know they’ve been light pink since I was a
baby. But I think it’s artistic.”

Liz laughed.

“
I stuck this poster of
his face on the wall next to my bed, so that he can sleep next to
me at night,” I said, caressing Chase’s face. “When I’m falling
asleep, I feel better knowing that he’s there. I also like that his
face is the first thing I see when I wake up in the
mornings.”