Love's Forbidden Flower (15 page)

“Sorry, but after that look you gave me regarding my rash mark—which my father saw you do, by the way—I figured all bets were off.”

“Bollocks! This isn’t funny. We need to stop her. Grab dessert and go like the clappers before she goes hysterical!”

Just as I crawl into bed, Christopher calls.

“Darling, I'm sorry about my little wobbler earlier. I don’t think I warned you properly.”

“Is everything all right?”

“Yes, luv. You might say we dodged a bullet thought.”

“What was the bullet?” I ask.

“I should've told you more about how Mum gets when she talks about me dad. She won’t admit it, but she still fancies him. Whenever she talks of him there's a big chance she will throw a Benny, especially when she's on the piss. I'm dreadfully sorry if I was rude.”

“It’s fine. I'm sorry things got that way. Do you mean that she just really still loves him and can’t accept the divorce?”

“Yeah. The way she explains it is if you really love someone and can’t be with them it makes you a little crazy. The longer you were with them, or the closer you were, the madder you get. Anyway, she had a lovely time and said the more she knows you, the more she wants you to be the daughter she never had. She also adores your mum and wants to have tea with her.”

“Is that really wise?”

“It’s fine. Lilyanna, your father's not too well chuffed on me, is he?” Christopher sounds disappointed with himself. From the little he has said, it seems that he does not get along well with his father much either.

“It's not you necessarily. He has bizarre ideals regarding how people should be. I suspect that's part of Donovan's problem. He’s trying to live up to an standard my father has that he doesn’t share.”

“Bloody hell, that’s naff. I guess I'll never be the son your dad wishes he had.”

“Darlin', if you were I wouldn’t love you. Not one bit.

After the call I snuggle my pillow. It’s not nearly as cozy as Christopher. Just as sleep drifts over me reality hits: What did Christopher mean when he said Grace wants me to be the daughter she never had? Does he realize how that sounds? I love him, but a teenage romance with Christopher is all I signed up for. My feelings for Donovan are still unresolved, which was a big part of why I needed him home for Thanksgiving.

Is a true future with Christopher possible? It seems perfect. We both want a happy home life and a family while pursuing our careers. We share a sense of humor and really love and respect one another. When we're apart it's as if a piece of me is missing. But I once had all those things with Donovan—and so many more—that I may need to accept will never happen with anyone else.

Spasmodically, my life is more complex than ever.

Christopher’s delicate statement regarding my over-doneness with Christmas fare summed it beautifully: “You're just bloody rowed out, luv.”

The world stops for everyone whenever Christopher enters the bakery. I'll never forget the time he walked in and saw Jennifer at the counter, who actually said, “Hi Chris. I’ll get Lily for you.”

“Thank you, but please call me Christopher,” he replied.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m also sorry I've had a hard time with your accent. I think I have it now. You're from a place called Cockney, right?”

“No! No! No! Cockney is an accent from East London! I’m from Manchester! It's nowhere near London! Oh, Blimey!”

Everyone in the back of the shop was in hysterics as he burst through the doors and stormed to Josette looking like a marionette with his arms flailing and head bouncing. “Bloody hell! How is it she can understand you, but she can’t understand me?”

Now he walks straight in like he's the King himself. Josette never seems to mind and has invited him to stick around, provided he washes his hands the second he comes in and wears an apron. Several times she's tricked him into working. It's always entertaining to see how long it will take for him to realize what he's doing. His dishwashing skills have improved greatly. Now he rarely breaks a thing.

His return for the New Year can’t arrive fast enough. Life is so much richer with Christopher. Conversely, the thought of Donovan coming home is discomforting. But since Donovan encouraged me to push my limits I should make something incredibly fancy and laden with cream and chocolate and tons of calories to show off my capabilities. Hopefully he won’t be such an ass that I'll throw it at him.

While heading to the counter with the intent of flipping through my formula book for just the right thing, a figure lounging against the fence in the snow covered yard forces me to shriek. The heart-stopping man in black is still and silent with eyes lowered beneath his mantle of raven hair. His chiseled features gleam magnificently in a hint of sunlight that breaks through the clouds. Waiving coyly at me, he motions for me to open the window.

The crisp air blowing through the window into the warm house likely adds to the tone of my near verbal assault. “What the hell are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow?”

Donovan’s smile is cocky, yet charming, as he flips his head to the side to remove a feather of hair from his glorious face. “Well, I didn’t know what to expect, but I hoped for a better greeting than that. Mom and Dad home?”

“No. Dad’s at work, and Mom's doing last minute shopping. You know how she is.” Damn it! I’m jittering. How is it he still has this arresting effect on me?

“I was counting on that.” My palpitating heart is envious of the yard that his gaze graces before it rests upon me. “Can you meet me at that restaurant you like in two hours? The one with the great French food.”

“You mean Bel Ami? That’s an hour’s drive from here.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point. I thought I'd come home a day early and steal you away since we’re probably not going to have much time together over the next few days. Can you meet me?” He’s so cool and collected, yet a little unsure of himself. My old Donovan has returned. But I sense a second shadow to him, as if he's carrying a burden that no one can distinguish.

“Sure. But why don’t we just go there together?”

“I have some stuff to take care of. Also, I don’t want Mom and Dad to know I'm here yet. I’m staying at a motel tonight. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Something is very odd. Donovan has been back for two minutes and already the freak show has begun.

When I arrive at the restaurant Donovan is already sitting outside, looking like he's been there awhile. He stands uncomfortably, appearing a little off balance. Unable to control my rush of emotions, I sprint and jump onto him, wrapping my legs around his waist as I lay kisses all over his face. Obviously decorum isn’t a concern.

“Geez, Lil! You almost tackled me onto the concrete! You could've cracked my head open!” Pulling his head back, he gives me the glow my heart craves. “Thanks for breaking the ice. I had no idea how to do it.”

Our conversation is anything but strained. College has been great for him, and he's finding direction in his life. His grades are less than stellar, but, considering how much he has going on with football, everything's going decently. Excitement fills his eyes as he asks about my job, which Mom told him little about. I’m bursting with details—totally talking his ears off.

“I can’t believe Mom hasn’t told you any of this,” I say while constantly fussing with my napkin. Donovan is trying to play it cool, but he keeps fidgeting by swirling his coffee and taping his foot.

“I’ve been avoiding her and Dad as much as possible. I know it's going to bite me in the ass, and they’ll grill me over the next few days, so that's why I wanted to steal you away today. By this time tomorrow Mom will have me cleaning the garage. How have things been with you and Mom? Do you two talk much?”

There he goes swirling the coffee in its cup again. Just the thought of my jittery brain repeatedly watching it whirl makes me a little dizzy.

“It’s gotten better over the last few months,” I say. “She’s really trying to be my ageless friend though. It's kind of weird. Her issues with Dad are obviously still there. I can’t say I confide in her, but I'm definitely not hiding things. Especially not like I'm hiding things from Dad.”

“Oh God!
Be careful
with Mom, and
always
hide things from Dad! Never let them know what you're really up to.”

My cringe is openly discernible. “They know a lot of it already. Believe me, I especially didn’t want Dad to find out.”

Donovan glares at me sideways and out of the corner of his squinting eyes. “What exactly are we talking about here?”

“Just some personal stuff that slipped out on Thanksgiving. Dad's never called me out on it, but I suspect he knows his daughter isn't exactly innocent.”

“Lil-y…” Donovan looks freaked before the obvious smacks him in the face. “Wait, is this about your boyfriend? I was wondering if you were ever going to get around to talking about him.”

“I really don’t want to talk about this.”

“Oh, why not? I can’t possibly imagine why you wouldn’t want to share every detail of your sex life with me of all people.” His words may be sarcastic, but his body looks on edge. I don’t think big brother likes the implications.

“Oh, God!” My face cowers into my hands as he smugly waits for me to speak. “Why? Why should I tell you this?” I ask, throwing my hands in the air and bobbing my head. Crap! Now I'm acting like Christopher. “Blimey!”

“The one thing Mom did tell me is that he's from Manchester.”

“Of course she told you that! She can’t stop talking about it!” Turning my gaze to my coffee I wish I could jump into the cup and drown. “This is just too awkward.”

Donovan’s eyes dart around the room before he reaches across the table and grabs my hands. The gesture captures my breath, throwing my head completely off track. “Look Lily, you’re my sister and, believe it or not, my best friend. I worry about you. Please, tell me how you're really doing. Let me know if you're being treated right or if you're with some loser and I need to shake some sense into you.”

Dropping my hands he leans back. His big brother mask has returned as he waits with crossed arms and a smug grin. Begrudgingly I spit out only the basics; how I met Christopher, how he's a little too proud of being from Manchester, and about his parent’s split.

I sense heaviness in Donovan’s stomach as he boldly leans forward. “Okay, Lil. Tell me the rest.”

I mirror his stance. “Like what?”

“You’ve told me straight facts but nothing about what he’s like as a person or how he treats you. So either something's wrong, or you’re not opening up. Which is it?”

“I just feel awkward. I'm still very confused.”

“Is this because of something he does, or because you and I had some
weirdness
in the past?”

Donovan’s eye roll just got annoying again. Does he have to belittle us that way? His flippancy is turning me into a total wreck. There is no choice but to enter survival mode and let myself gush over Christopher. As soon as I start, my eyes brighten and warmth rushes through me.

“He’s totally adorable. The jocks can’t stand him because he’s this scrawny, pasty bloke with a cute accent the girls are nuts over. He’s totally awkward around them, which makes the jocks even more bonkers. The word klutzy suits him, yet he’s an incredibly talented guitarist. He can turn someone’s mood around with his infectious smile, and when he's miffed he becomes animated and looks a little like a marionette.” I exhale with high hopes. “Does that answer your questions?”

“No. Not even close.”

“Ugh!”

“You're talking about all these girls swarming him, but you haven’t said how he treats you or if you're the only girl in his life. I’m kind of seeing a big red flag here. Are you sure he's not using you along with every other female within grabbing distance?”

I can't take this anymore. I'm ripped between the amazing man that sits across from me and the one I've recently fallen over the edge for. But Donovan has asked for it. He’s looking to find something bad in Christopher, and he’s out of luck.

Surrendering to the truth, it flows freely while the rush of emotions that fill my heart catch me off-guard. “He treats me perfectly and always makes sure I'm looked after. I am
definitely
the only girl in his life. I know this not only because he tells me, but also because he shows me how much he loves me in everything he does. He asks for nothing yet gives me more than I can measure. Christopher is amazing, and I must be the luckiest girl in existence.”