Love's Autograph (7 page)

“
I guess you are,” Ellie said.

“
She's been going on dates,” Maggie said. “Why?”

“
That's one of those questions I'm going to direct you back to your mother to ask.”

“
She said that she wants to find someone to go places with, have fun, and laugh with,” Maggie said.

“
That sounds about right,” Ellie said.

“
I'm not dumb. I know she left the kissing part out. I know what people do with people they are dating,” Maggie said.

“
They don't always kiss, but sometimes they do. It's sometimes hard for adults to talk to kids about kissing stuff,” Ellie said.

“
You know,” Maggie said. “Mom can do all that stuff—laughing, having fun—with you.”

“
Hmm,” Ellie said.

“
Is it awkward for you to talk about this?” Maggie asked.

“
A little bit,” Ellie said.

“
At least I didn't say that she could kiss you,” Maggie said.

Ellie laughed,
“You're right, you didn't.”

“
I hear you guys at night,” Maggie said. “It made it on to my favorite top eleven.”

“
What do you mean?” Ellie asked.

“
I hear you guys laughing,” Maggie said. “I have never heard Mom laugh so much. Even when we have family visiting or we are in Chicago visiting family. She laughs so much. Her abdominal muscles are probably in shape because of you.”

“
We do have fun,” Ellie said. Maggie's watch alarm went off.

“
Time for bed,” Maggie said.

Ellie surfed
through the list of movies and then crawled up on the couch. She thought of Ria's bed. She was trying to stay away from it, but was drawn to Ria's room. She got up and walked to Ria's room. She turned on the light and shut the door behind her.

Ellie walked to Ria's dresser, pull
ing open the first drawer. It was strewn with silk and lace panties. She averted her eyes from the mixture of colors and textures, but a picture in the corner caught her eye. She grabbed the picture. It was a picture of Ria holding a baby. The baby had Maggie's eyes. Standing next to Ria was a woman with short blond hair. She was gorgeous. She was a little shorter than Ria and had a muscular figure. Her body looked amazing. She was tan and had a beautiful smile. Ellie put the picture back and opened the next drawer. She dug through piles of tshirts grabbing one from the bottom.

She tore off her flannel, t-shirt, and then bra. She slid Ria's shirt over her torso. Ria's scent swarmed around her as she pulled her head through the t-shirt. Ellie felt a fluttering in her chest. She opened the next drawer and found a pair of mesh shorts. They slipped off her hips, so she folded the waistband a few times until they sat snugly in place. She leaned back
on top of the bed. The thick comforter engulfed her. She took a deep breath and inhaled Ria's scent of berries and something that smelled like fruit and the beach. The pillows were extra fluffy and her head felt like it was on a cloud. She sank into the bed.

Moments later,
Ellie reluctantly got out of bed and turned the lights out around the apartment. She walked back into Ria's room and left the door open. She pulled back the covers and sheet, slipping into Ria's side of the bed. It was the side she saw Ria sleeping on the first night they met. It was the only side that had pillows, and the side that had a nightstand covered in hair ties, a bottle of water, a box of tissues, and an ereader.

Ellie grabbed her phone from
the pants she had left sitting on the floor and put it on the nightstand. She stared around the dark, unfamiliar room. She had slept in many unfamiliar rooms while on tour.

She texted Ria. She knew an intern might be reading it to Ria so she typed several drafts before sending it.
Snug in bed. Sending you positive vibes for the surgery. Good night.

Ellie tossed and turned
; she was just not tired. She picked up Ria's ereader and turned it on. Ria was 32% done with a book called
By Any Water
. Ellie typed the name of the book into her phone and discovered it was a lesbian romance set in Maine. Ellie marked what page Ria was on, toggled to the beginning, and started reading.

The book was about a woman
named Claire who broke up with her long-term girlfriend and then took broken-hearted refuge in Maine. She rented a cabin and spent days by the dozens of lakes in the area. Predictably, she met a local outdoorsy woman named Stacia who happened to keep biking and kayaking in the same places that Claire was visiting. Finally, Claire convinced Stacia to be her tour guide. The book was full of attractions, mild flirtations, yearnings and sexual tension. Ellie read page after page as Stacia and Claire traded flirtations and lusted for each other.

E
llie imagined Ria coming home in the middle of the night while she was sleeping, then climbing into the bed and one thing leading to another. Ellie electronically underlined certain parts of the e-book. She reached Ria's 32% mark at midnight, but kept reading. She kept underlining lines that made her think of Ria.

Ellie woke the next morning to the
ereader next to her and to the sound of cartoons in the living room. When she got her bearings, she realized she was in Ria's bed. Maggie greeted her wearing a tiger-striped shirt, plaid pants, and a striped long-sleeve button shirt.

Maggie got herself ready, and coaxed a few bucks out of Ellie for ice cream at lunch. Ellie watched from the
fifth floor as Maggie waited for the bus outside the apartment. Maggie said not to worry because there was an overbearing mother who waited down by them. From the living room window Ellie kept her eyes on the top of Maggie's head and orange backpack, until she was safely on the bus.
I bet the kids are awful to her. I wish I could protect her from them.

Ellie turned around in the apartment and checked her schedule on her phone. It was
eight o'clock and she did not have a meeting until eleven o'clock. She walked back into Ria's room and pulled the thick down comforter over the bed. She leaned down and pressed her nose against the pillow, again taking in one last shot of Ria's scent. She picked up the ereader and opened it. She noted where she had stopped reading and put the book back on the page Ria was reading. She went to a list of books Ria had read. Ria had a total of fifty-one books downloaded. Ellie took a picture of the list of books with her phone.

In the bathroom she shed the clothes she had borrowed from Ria and placed them on the vanity. She stepped into the
bronze and orange tiled shower. The showerhead had several settings and Ellie tried them all. She picked up a slender bottle of mixed berry shampoo. She unscrewed the top and gently squeezed. She had found the source of part of Ria's scent. Ellie lathered it into her hair and let it sit for as long as she could. She rinsed it off and then washed her body with pink Dove soap. She imagined waking every morning and slipping into this shower. She could almost hear Ria's voice from the sink as she applied makeup or got ready for work.

Ellie dawdled getting ready.
After a long shower, Ellie dried off and got dressed. She folded up Ria's t-shirt and shorts under the guise of washing them for Ria, but knowing she would wear them until they lost Ria's scent. She left her flannel on Ria's bed hoping Ria would wear it.

I hope that I run into Ria this mornin
g, so I can clarify that I wanted a date last night. A real date, not a friend date. Would staying here until she gets home be weird? She has obviously worked all night and will want to come home and sleep.

Ellie felt tired and then she
remembered she had stayed up late reading. She started to feel anxious and her chest tightened again. Ellie grabbed a yellow pizza flyer, flipped it to the blank back, and frantically wrote:
Ria,
Everything went great. Saw Maggie onto the bus. I hope the surgery went well. Call or text when you can. Love, Ellie. P.S. You're right, your bed is “wicked comfortable.” I can't wait to get to sleep in it again.

Jazzie picked up Ellie.

“That food was great last night,” Jazzie said. “So?”

Ellie was too tired to try to
sidestep the question. “She stood me up. But I did get to share the food with her daughter Maggie. She liked the rice and some of the pasta.”

“
Stood up? Who has the nerve to do that to you?”

“
She doesn't know I'm EJ Way. I'm Ellie to her,” Ellie said.

“
So what? She has to know you're great!”

“
I know,” Ellie said. “She had this important, unique surgery and...”

“
I hope you don't mind me saying, but you're hot and have a rocking body, and are so sweet.”

“
Jazzie, believe me no offense taken. I need the ego boost.”

“
Wait, she stood you up, but you're here this morning. You didn't...”

“
Yes, I babysat and stayed over while she was at the hospital. I know, I'm a doormat, a chicken,” Ellie said and then changed the subject. “Hey, can you do me a favor?”

“
I'm very aware that you changed the subject, but yes, what do you need?” Jazzie asked.

“
Can you stop on the corner here? I'll only be a minute,” Ellie said. Jazzie pulled over and Ellie jumped out. She walked in and bought an ereader.

Later that day Ria texted Ellie. Ellie took a deep breath before she read the text.

Ria said,
Did you get that food from Hot Mama’s?

Yes, was it good? Maggie liked some of it. How was surgery?
Ellie asked.

Ria
said,
Surgery was a success. But Hot Mama’s? How?

Ellie
said,
I have connections. There are a lot of things you don't know about me. How was it?

It was delicious. Secrets huh? Intriguing
, Ria said.

Ellie smiled at the hint of Ria's flirtation and answered,
Finally, you're intrigued.

Ellie beat Dina to the punch and texted her,
Okay, I spent hundreds of dollars on a dinner for a woman that I'm madly in love with. To be left to watch her daughter as she left for work. I'm hopeless. Go ahead send me the insults.

Dina texted,
Sound like you need Dina and Davie to come to the rescue.

Ellie wrote a song.

“
Towering Love”

There must be a spell cast against us

for you to miss the love I'm sending

You're searching
for the fairest princess
Tucked in tightly with walls high, guards on alert

I'm badly missing you

You're missing me

Dodging arrows

Swimming the moat

Sword fighting the strongest of your guards

You spend your nights on your balcony

throwing wishes at the dying stars

Sighing wishing for somebody to hold your heart

I'm down below free climbing the castle tower

and calling out

See my towering love

There must be some spell cast against us

For you to miss the love I'm sending

I
breathe the evening air and dream about you
I hear your whisper and
I'm yelling back
You're missing me dodging arrows

swimming the moat

Sword fighting all who dare

Must be a spell on this towering love…

Ellie was hanging out with Maggie again on a Saturday night while Ria decided to take another ride on the dating show. Ellie's talk with Dina and
Davie, as well as the Hot Mama’s fiasco, all sat prominently on her mind. She hoped to talk to Ria tonight after Ria's date hopefully went wrong again.

“
Who you going out with tonight?” Ellie asked.

“
Oh, some doctor,” Ria walked to her laptop and pulled up the profile. She was a blue-eyed blonde knockout with a witty profile.

She's
gorgeous. I want to become a doctor to cut out this chick's heart.

“
A few weeks ago I changed my profile and put that I'm a doctor and I got a bunch more hits.”

“
Well, just make sure they want you for this,” Ellie pointed to Ria's body. “And not this.” Ellie rubbed her thumb against her middle and pointer fingers for the sign of money.

“
Oh, alright,” Ria laughed.

“
Have fun,” Ellie said. “Call me if you need an escape.”

“
Oh, I will,” Ria said with emphasis.

Ellie and Maggie spent th
eir time together playing guitar. Ellie tried to get Maggie to play some games or to watch movies. Maggie only wanted to play guitar. Maggie told Ellie how her music teacher was teaching her how to read music.

“
Music is all I can focus on,” Maggie said. She asked Ellie to tell her who were her favorite musicians. She wrote the list down in a new notebook. Ellie peeked at the front of the notebook and
MUSIC
was written in thick black marker.

Maggie went to bed at
9:07. Maggie let Ellie say goodnight to her from her bedroom doorway. Once Maggie was in bed, Ellie called Jazzie.

“
Hello,” Jazzie answered.

“
Jazzie, EJ.”

“
EJ, I can't get over you calling me and saying my name,” Jazzie said.

“
Hey, well since you're such a fan, can you do me a favor? Can you run errands or will you get in trouble for that?”

“
I can run errands. I have to charge you for gas and time.”

“
That's fine,” Ellie said.

“
What's up? What do you need?” Jazzie said.

“
I need you to pick up some things for me,” Ellie said. Ellie texted her the address.

Ellie paced the floor of the living room.

I will kiss her tonight. I will kiss Ria tonight. We will kiss tonight. I am not leaving until we kiss. I will tell her that I love her.

Ellie dusted the living room
, wiped down every surface in the kitchen and even cleaned the inside of the microwave. She did not dare stop moving. She kept the mantra running in her head.
Tonight is the night.

Then Ria texted Ellie,
How's the munchkin?

Ellie
answered,
All snug in bed.

How late you willing to stay?
Ria asked.

Ellie looked at her phone and thought,
What would Dina want me to do? I should beg her to come home now. I should say I can’t stay much longer. I can't believe she's having fun with someone besides me. I’ve gottat muster enough courage to tell her how I feel.

Ellie
asked,
Things going that well?

It
's great. She can get us into this exclusive club. Do you mind? I should be home by 2 at the latest, Ria answered.

Ellie texted words that she knew she would regret,
No problem.

Ellie grabbed her guitar and fiddled around with some chords. She grabbed some scrap paper off the coffee table and covered the paper in lyrics. Words flowed onto the paper. She picked up her guitar and tried out the melody and lyrics. Before Ria returned home, Ellie had two songs in an almost polished form. Ellie turned out the lights in the living room and sat in the window seat overlooking the main entrance five floors below.

Ellie sat up alert at each car that slowed down or stopped at the entrance. Finally a black SUV stopped and Ria's legs emerged from the passenger side. The blonde driver walked out of the SUV and met Ria at the curb. She was wearing a long white coat. Ellie looked away.

I can't watch her kiss Ria.
Her stomach turned and she felt like she would throw up. She looked back down and Ria was gone, but the SUV still sat at the entrance. Ellie continued to look down at the SUV and it was not moving. Then she heard it—voices in the hallway.

“
I had a great night,” blondie said.

“
Me, too,” Ria said. Her voice sounded higher pitched than normal. Ellie stood in the middle of the room frozen as if she was a thief with nowhere to hide from an approaching homeowner.

“
Can I come in for a bit?” blondie asked.

“
Not a good idea,” Ria said. “I'm kind of tired and I don't want to mess up this perfect night.”

“
Fair enough,” blondie answered. Then there was silence. A long silence. Ellie started to count and got to twenty-eight seconds.

Then there was
a key in the door. Ellie instinctively fell on the couch and pretended to be sleeping. Ellie heard Ria place her keys on the counter and heard her gorgeous legs walk over
to Ellie on the couch.

“
Ellie,” Ria whispered.

I even love how she whispers my name.

Ria reached down and put her hand on Ellie
. “Hey, Ellie,” Ria shook Ellie's shoulder and sat on the edge of the couch next to her. Ellie grabbed Ria's hand.

“
You never sneak up on a sleeping ninja,” Ellie said.

“
Sneak up? I could have murdered you twice. Some babysitter.”

“
Dock my pay.” Ellie still held onto Ria's wrist as Ria sat next to Ellie on the couch.

“
How was your night?” Ria asked.

“
How was your night?” Ellie countered.

“
It was good, actually good,” Ria said.

“
You seem surprised,” Ellie said. “Why didn't you bring her in? She did go to the trouble of walking you up.”

“
How did you know she walked me up?”

“
Umm…” Ellie said.

“
You waited up for me,” Ria said as she poked Ellie's shoulder.

“
I was making sure I protected Princess Maggie.”

“
Glad I didn't bring her in then. I've a feeling you would've made it more than awkward.”

“
How do you know me so well already?” Ellie asked. Ria eyes stared at the coffee table and something seemed to catch her eye.

“
What's this?” Ria asked as she leaned down to grab a piece of paper. Ellie looked and saw that they were the lyrics to the songs she had written earlier tonight.

“
Oh, nothing,” Ellie sat up and tried to grab the paper from Ria. Ria held it behind her and scooted down the couch away from Ellie’s hands but toward her feet.

“
I believe this paper is my paper, and it seems you used my ink from said pen on the table, thus I can read this,” Ria said, feigning a legal argument.

Ellie grabbed for the paper as Ria strained to read it. Ellie jumped at Ria and pinned her to the couch. She stabilized Ria's left arm and grabbed the paper out of her hand. She stared down at Ria who was peering back up at her. Energy surged through Ellie's torso and her chest tingled. She looked down at Ria. There was a sharp pain in her chest.

“Wow, if I knew it was so top secret,” Ria said. “I would've fought harder. Is it Ellie and Maggie's secret club code or something?”

“
Or something,” Ellie said as she slid off Ria and onto the floor. She put the paper in her front pocket.

I want to kiss her so badly. I want to be out on dates with her, and she kissed somebody else tonight.
A pit of anger formed in Ellie's stomach, her fists clenched and her eyes narrowed.

“
I have good news,” Ellie said trying to change the subject.

“
Yeah?” Ria asked. Ria lay down and her head was behind Ellie's ear. She could feel her breath on her neck.

“
Your Maggie now knows a bunch of chords. She couldn't get enough of the guitar,” Ellie said.

“
No way,” Ria said. “Glad you guys enjoyed your time together, and it's good for me to get out some times.”

Ellie said,
“Well, good. You deserved a break.”

“
Do you know the past few days all she has talked about is you? How long until Ellie is here? What will we do? Why can't she come over now? I'm a little jealous.”

“
Jealous because you want to be here with me. You can stay instead of going out,” Ellie said.

“
No, jealous of how close Maggie is to you,” Ria said.

“
Oh. So, tell me about Dr. Barbie,” Ellie said.

“
Well,
Gwen
is great,” Ria paused. “She's very smart; she has great taste in food, and had great connections to get us into this very exclusive club.”

Ellie said,
“You just described a really good intern or agent or something. Not someone I want to date.”

“
Well she was also definitely into me. I think she liked me. She's hot too,” Ria said. “She paid for everything. Held doors for me and was sweet to me. She's so intelligent. It was nice being around someone who understands my work. She's a lot of fun, a great dancer, as well as a good kisser. Don't you think she's hot?” Ellie shrugged. “Look who's jealous now. Any
way,” Ria said. “You still seeing that chick?”

“
What chick?” Ellie asked.

“
The one from the night you first Maggie-sat?” Ria asked.

“
Oh, no,” Ellie said. “Not seeing anyone that serious.”

“
Not that serious? So, what's her name?”

“
Jazzie,” Ellie said.

“
Jazzie?”

“
Yeah, anyway. She makes up in attractions what she lacks in name. Unlike Robot Doctor.”

Ria corrected
her, “Gwen.”

“
Robo Gwen.”

“
Well, Robo Gwen and I are programmed to go out again this week,” Ria said.

“
Good for you. Well, I better go,” Ellie said as she grabbed her guitar case.

“
Oh wait,” Ria said. She walked to the fridge and handed her a plastic container. “Special family recipe. Rice and chicken.”

“
Great,” Ellie said. “Breakfast.”

Ria walked Ellie to the door and gave her a hug.
Ellie could smell Doctor Barbie's perfume on her. She moved her lips closer to Ria's neck. But before she could kiss Ria’s neck, Ellie pulled away.

Ria's
not interested in me. She has an amazing doctor now.

Ellie called Jazzie to come pick her up. She was twenty minutes away.
She watched from the lobby as
Jazzie passed the main entrance and turned the corner. She walked out of the building and got in the car.

“
Good night, EJ?” Jazzie asked.

“
Mostly a good night,” Ellie said. She sunk into the cushy seats. The comfort of the Town Car’s seats was always welcomed. “I should put these seats in my apartment. I wonder if they make couches too.”

“
I don't think so. Did she like it?” Jazzie asked.

“
Who? What?”

“
Who was the guitar that I delivered to you for?” Jazzie asked. “Did she or he like it?”

“
Umm… oh I forgot about that. Thanks for picking it up from the dealer. I don't know. I left it for when she wakes up. It was for Maggie,” she said.

“
One lucky little girl,” Jazzie said.

“
I guess so,” Ellie said. “I hope so. I hope she likes it.”

“
Are you kidding me? That's like Christmas morning. She'll be thrilled. A guitar from EJ Way.”

“
No,” Ellie answered. “She doesn't even know who I am.”

“
That's right. Still don't know, huh? What do these people live in, a cave?” Jazzie asked.

“
I'm not that famous. Some people don't know me,” Ellie said.

“
Only people over seventy don't know you,” Jazzie laughed.

“
Funny.”

“
Why so sad?” Jazzie asked.