LOVED (7 page)

This time, I was afraid he didn’t have to speak.

Gene’s pain was Erik’s pain.

And Gene was dying.

KELLI.
“If you fall off of that ladder, I will beat your little skinny ass, woman,” Erik screamed.

“I know how to climb a ladder,” I said as I stepped o
f off of the ladder and onto the roof.

“Be careful, I don’t want to have to haul you to the hospital,” he said as he walked
my direction.

“I’m sure footed. Yoga,
P90X, kick boxing. I’m good to go,” I reassured him.

“Well, this roof is steep, so just be careful,” he said again.

“Why are you doing this now?” I asked.

It was exciting to have a house, and to have Erik putting up the Christmas lights, but I wanted him to be fucking me. The thought of spending Christmas with Erik in our own house was almost more than I could take. I walked toward him and slipped as I walked. I leaned forward and pushed myself back up by pressing my hands on the roof. I hoped that he didn’t see me.

“
I saw that
, you damn near slid of the roof,” he said as he faced the other direction.

Sometimes I felt that Erik had eyes in the back of his head. He never let me get away with
anything.

“I wanna fuck,” I said as he pulled the string of lights across the roof.

“Well, baby girl, I’m putting up these lights while the weather is warm. I’m excited to spend Christmas with my family. I haven’t had a Christmas with family in a long time.
You
are my family, and it excites me,” he said over his shoulder as he walked to the corner of the roof.

“It excites me too,” I admitted.

I felt bad for not thinking about Erik and Christmas. Christmas was a still few months away, but it would be here before we knew it. Christmas with Erik would be the best Christmas ever. Spending Christmas with someone like him would be perfect. I could sit in the street in a cardboard box with Erik and be happy. Having him in my life was all that mattered.

“I wanna fuck really
bad,” I said as he walked my direction again. He was wearing jeans, boots, and a black tee shirt.

Something about this house turned me on. Every time I took time to think about it, I remembered the day that we broke in when we left the airport. Erik fucking me in the kitchen and licking my pussy
on the kitchen counter was so exciting. Now, just standing in the kitchen made me wet. Standing on the roof and watching Erik drag the strings of lights across the roof in his tee shirt made me wetter.

“Well baby girl, I want to fuck too, but it’s going to be about thirty minutes or better before I’m done here,”
he said as he walked up to me.

He held the string of lights in one hand, and a staple gun in the other. He stopped in front of me and shook his head lightly from side to side.

“What?” I asked.

“You.
You’re fucking beautiful, Kelli. Simply fucking beautiful,” he said.

I loved it when he told me things like that. It made me feel like I actually was
beautiful. He certainly didn’t
need
to tell me, but he did. It meant more that way. The fact that he already had me, knew he wasn’t going to lose me, and said it anyway – it just made it that much more perfect.

It made him perfect.

“Bad,” I said.

“Excuse me?” he said as he bent over to staple the lights to the edge of the roof.

“I want to fuck you really bad,” I repeated.

“I gathered that, baby girl. You’ve told me three times,” he looked over his shoulder and laughed.

I worked my way to the upper portion of the roof. Our bedroom was on the second floor, and where the roof from the bedroom met the roof from the rest of the house, the two formed a valley. It looked like a safe place to sit. I leaned forward and walked up toward the bedroom window.

“Be careful, I don’t want you to fall off,” he said as I walked up the roof.

“I gathered that. You’ve told me three times,” I responded.

“Twice, you little…”

“Mouthy little fucker,” I giggled.

“You do want fucked, don’t you?” he asked as he walked back toward the center of the roof.

I nodded my head once sharply as he made eye contact.

“Well, as soon as I am done,” he said as he grabbed another strand of lights.

“You’re gonna get it,” he said.

“Promises, promises,” I laughed.

Watching Erik do anything made me horny as hell. I could watch him write a note for the grocery store and it made me wet. I suppose that’s the difference between
loving
someone and just
fucking
them. The connection between Erik and I was so strong that witnessing him in his day-to-day activities was satisfying in itself.

I needed nothing more than to know that he was pleased with me being in his life.

And for him to fuck me.

To
prove
it.

The sun felt good. There was virtually no wind, which was uncommon for Kansas and certainly uncommon for autumn. The sky was clear, and it was about 80 degrees. I laid into the valley of the roof and closed my eyes.

The smell of the flowers was perfectly sweet. It wasn’t overwhelming. It was enough that you raised your head and opened your eyes a little wider to try and catch another sniff of them before they were gone.

I looked around the room.

Pedals from the roses were everywhere. The entire floor was rose pedals. I looked down at my dress, which was gathered on the floor at my feet. I must have fallen asleep. My bare feet felt cool on the rose pedals that lined the floor.

Late.

I’m going to be late.

I stood up and shook my head. I could hear the music.

Where is my father?

Isn’t my dad supposed to be here to take me? I looked around the room. The music got louder and louder. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and opened the door. I looked both directions down the hallway. The music seemed louder to the right.

I turned and ran to the right, following the sound of the music. I lifted my dress and ran down the stairs. I took two steps with each leap, trying to make up time. As my bare feet reached each step, I was grateful that I had forgotten my shoes. No one would notice with my dress on the floor covering my feet.

As I
reached the bottom of the stairs, I inhaled a deep breath. The music seemed to be coming from the doors on my right. I tiptoed across the tile floor to the doors. As the music played, I opened one of the doors a few inches and peeked inside.

Almost e
veryone was there. Erik, Teddy, Bone, Shakey, A-Train, Jake, Heather, Amy, Donna, Chris, Emily, and Debb. I looked to the right and scanned the room. My father was not  anywhere to be seen. A crow flew through the church and landed on top of the organ.

The music got louder.

And louder.

“Kelli,” someone screamed.

“Kelli,” the voice came again, louder.

“Kelli,” it grew even louder.

Someone grabbed my arm and pulled. I pulled back, and turned to see who it was.

“Kelli, wake up. I’m done. Are you okay,” Erik asked.

I opened my eyes and looked around. I felt lost. I rubbed my eyes and looked up at Erik.

“I’m done baby girl,” he said, standing over me with a staple gun in his hand.

“You’ve been asleep for about forty-five minutes,” he said as he reached down to help me up.

“I was having a shitty dream,” I said.

“Why shitty?” he asked.

“Well, I was in a…” I paused and thought.

“Never mind, it was stupid,” I said.

“No, tell me. You’d be surprised what can be determined from someone’s dreams,” he said as he helped me to my feet.

There was a lot I would tell Erik, and very little I would ever keep from him, if anything. Something about telling a psychiatrist about my dreams, and that psychiatrist being my boyfriend didn’t make me totally comfortable.

“Oh, it was nothing,” I said.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Yeah, now that I am awake, I can’t really remember it” I said.

“Well, I have a few lights left, even after I put them over the entire roof,” he said.

I looked around the roof, and back to
ward Erik. I was still waking up. I felt like such an idiot for falling asleep.

“Baby girl, reach over there and put your hands on the roof. The one right in front of you, by the bedroom window,”
Erik said as he set the staple gun down beside me.

“Sir?”

“The roof, Kelli. Put your hands on it. Are you having problems with English again?” he asked.

“
Uhhmm, no sir,” I responded as I leaned forward and placed my palms on the roof. Standing erect directly in front of the window, the roof was about chest high.

“Don’t move, I’ll be right back,” Erik said as he walked across the roof.

I stood with my hands on the roof above the window wondering what he was going to do. I blinked my eyes and looked around. That dream was just weird. He walked back toward me with a handful of Christmas lights in his hand.

I watched over my shoulder as he took out his knife and cut the Christmas light cord
in two. He put the knife back in his pocket and secured the clip.

“Why did you cut the Christmas lights?” I asked, confused.

“I need two, and I only had one,” he responded, smiling.

I squinted and turned toward him.

“Hands on the fucking roof, Kelli. Face the window,” he demanded, pointing at the window by the bedroom roof.

I turned and faced the window, and placed my hands on either side of the roof in front of my chest.

I watched his reflection in the window as he took the Christmas lights and flipped one of the two lengths over his shoulder. He dropped the other string of lights onto the roof, holding onto one of the ends of the cord. He raised the cord up to his chest and grabbed the dangling length with his other hand. He stepped into me, pressing his chest to my back.

“Raise your right hand,” he said as he bent over and picked up the staple gun.

“Sir?” I asked as I turned toward him.

“Around Kelli, turn around. And raise your right hand. You remember which one that is?” he asked in his smart-ass voice.

I purposely raised my left hand. I love it when he talks to me like this. It makes me wet. I wondered what he was going to do. Maybe spank me with Christmas lights. I started to get wet thinking about it.

“Jesus, Kelli. I think that dream fucked you up good.
Your other right hand. Good fucking God,” he complained.

Get mad at me and hurt me. Fuck me until I cry.

I raised my right hand. The correct one.

He took my wrist in his hand and began to wrap my wrist in the chord of the lights. I watched as he wrapped my wrist in the lights and slipped the cord through itself and pulled it tight. He took the loose end in his hand and tugged on it.

“Put your hand back on the roof,” he said.

I stared at my wrist as I put my hand back onto the roof. As my hand touched the shingles on the roof, he reached for the end of the Christmas light chord and pulled my arm tightly to the right.

BAM!

H
e began stapling the cord to the wooden shingles.

BAM…BAM…BAM!

BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM!

“That should do it. Pull against the chord,” he said.

“You just stapled my hand to the roof,” I said as I turned and looked at him over my shoulder.

“No, Kelli. I stapled the chord to the roof. Not your hand, the chord. Pull on it,” he demanded as he smiled at me – obviously proud of his demented mind.

I pulled against the chord. It was no different than the night that he restrained and blindfolded me.

“Erik, we’re on the roof,” I said over my left shoulder.

“Damn, you have a good memory. Surprised you didn’t forget after that nap you took,” he said.

“Left hand, baby girl, raise it.
This one is easy, it’s the only one you have left,” he laughed.

I raised my left hand. He bent o
ver and picked up the remaining Christmas lights and doubled the chord over a few times, shaking the lights strand to make the lengths of cord even. He wrapped my hand in the chord, and slipped it through itself.

“
Put it on the roof, baby girl,” he said, smiling.

I reached to the left, shaking my head.

“What?” he asked.

“You enjoy this too much,” I laughed.