LOVED (6 page)

“Erik, it’s my other kidney. I’m having problems with it,” he said.

He walked over and sat down in his chair. Clearly, based on his nervous nature, the problems with his kidney were serious - at least serious to him. I tried to act relaxed and wait for what else he had to say.

“Dialysis.
They’ve started dialysis, and it’ll be three or four days a week. My blood type is AB negative, and with my age…with my age…I’m not valuable…”

His forearms on his knees, he looked down at the floor. He raised his hands, and placed his palms on either side of his face.

And he began to sob.

I stood and walked toward his chair. I reached over and placed my hand on his shoulder as he continued to cry.

“Gene, whatever this is, we can…”

“Three weeks to six months,” his voice cracked as he spoke.

“Three weeks to six months of what? Dialysis?” I asked, confused.

When he responded, I felt as if someone plunged a knife into my heart.

“That’s how long I’ve got…” he paused.

“To live,” he
said as he looked up.

The reality of it all sank into my being.

This man was dying.

Most people live their lives concerned with what they own, where they live, and who they know. How much money they make, what they drive, and the clothes that they wear are mor
e important than living a life of worth.

I stood over Kelli’s f
ather full. Full of anger, grief, sorrow, and of hope. Hope that I could trade all that I had and all that I would ever have to buy him more time on this earth. I attempted to swallow through what proved to be a throat that was full of love.

“Gene…” I paused and tried to maintain my composure.

He continued to cry. It had become uncontrollable for him. He was sobbing.

I knelt down on both knees,
and placed my hand on his shoulder. I turned my head and wiped the tears from my face with my free hand. Gene needed strength, comfort, and hope. For the life of me, I could not stop crying. The thought of Kelli losing her father was more than I wanted to accept right now.

Especially now.

I turned back to him as tears streamed down my face.

“Gene…”

He lifted his head from his hands and through his sobs, tried to speak.

“Erik, make me a promise. You’re a man of honor, make me a promise,” he asked, his hands shaking and face soaked with tears.

“Anything,” I stuttered.

“Take care of my little girl, Erik.” He said as he stood.

He wiped his face on his forearm
, looked up at the ceiling and he screamed. He literally screamed the loudest most nerve racking howl I had ever heard. He shook his head, lowered his gaze, and looked at me.

“I’
m alright now,” he paused.

“Son-of-a-bitch, I l
ost it there for a few minutes. I just needed to clear my head. I used to do that in the war - a good blood curdling scream. We’d be on the river taking fire, and I manned the machine gun. I’d fucking scream and let ‘em have it. It made it all make sense. Sometimes a good loud scream is all that it takes to clear the mind and soul of a mile of grief. Wipe those tears off of your face, son. You look like a damned fool,” he said as he pointed to my face and smiled.

I turned the other direction and wiped my face. His strength and his situation caused me
to choke as I wiped my tears.

I started to cry again.

I gazed down at the floor, and placed both hands over my
face and wiped my tears.

This was useless.

I looked up, still rubbing my eyes.

And I screamed.

THE BONE.
“Listen up,” I paused and bit my cigarette between my teeth.

“
You with the mouth, talking in the back. Turn around,” I cupped my hands around my cheeks and screamed.

“Where you from?”
I asked, pulling the cigarette from my lips.

“
The Patriot Guard,” he responded.

“Well, I appreciate all you fellas
stand for. I don’t know how you do it when you’re having a meeting, but when we have ‘em, we have one person speak and everyone else listens. I’m the speaker, so turn around and pay attention, alright?” I lowered the tone of my voice a little as I spoke.

“Fellas, we have an issue.
A concern. I have no idea if we can resolve it, but I’m sure going to give it all
my
attention,” I scanned the room to make sure all eyes were on me.

I looked down at th
e floor and took a drag from my cigarette.

“Doc’s girl, Sis.
Her father is dying. Dying as we speak. He has from a week or so to maybe a few weeks to live. His kidney is failing and he only has one. He lost the other in the war. His blood type is AB negative, which is really rare,” I exhaled and took another drag from the cigarette.

“
He needs a donor. There’s no amount of money that we can raise to fix this. A Poker run isn’t going to fix anything. A fundraiser isn’t the answer. One person is needed,” I patted Doc on the shoulder and exhaled the smoke.

“One person is needed to donate a kidney. Is there anyone that’s AB negative and wants to donate a kidney?” I asked.

No one said a word.

I spit my cigarette on the floor and smashed the butt with the toe of my boot.

“I ain’t looking to go into a bunch of detail, but we
owe
this man. He really sacrificed a lot for the sake of this club, he’s one hell of a man, and he’s all that Kelli has for a parent,” I said.

People softly
talked to each other, but no one spoke up.

“Anyone AB negative?”
I asked.

Silence.

“Listen up, fellas. We can’t put up flyers. We can’t go about conventional ways of asking around. Hell, it probably wouldn’t even be a good idea to ask around with your family. The problem is that Sis’ father doesn’t want her to know he’s sick. Not yet. So, this conversation stays here,” I said, pointing to the floor.

Not a word from the crowd.

“One hundred mother-fuckers in here and not one is AB negative?” I asked.

Silence.

“Well, I guess that’s it. If you don’t know your blood type, go get checked. If you find that you’re AB negative, and you’re willing to step up and make a sacrifice, call Doc or call me,” I paused and looked at the floor.

“I want to tell you fellas something I probably shouldn’t. Just a while ago, we had a member in trouble.
Bad. Doc’s girl, Kelli…Sis stepped in to help. She made a huge sacrifice. She took one hell of a risk. When I asked her why she did it, what motivated her, I was shocked at what she told me,” I pulled my pack of cigarettes from my pocket.

I put a cigarette in my mouth, lit it, and pushed the pack back into my pocket.

“When it comes time to make a difficult decision, we are defined by the decisions that we make. When the collective wisdom of the universe says to shut up, yet you believe that it is time to stand up,” I took a drag from the cigarette and paused, making sure all eyes were on me.

“
Stand up
,” I paused again, exhaling the smoke.

“
The pride that you gain will fuel you for a lifetime, and your character will never again be in question,” I bit the cigarette in my teeth, and squinted as the smoke rose into my eyes.

“
That’s what she said. One hell of a woman right there, fellas. This ain’t easy fellas. Life ain’t easy. This is a sacrifice. A decision like this will define the character of a man, that’s for sure,” I looked around the shop.

“
I need someone to
stand up
,” I took a drag from the cigarette and pulled it from my lips.

“That’s all I got fellas,” I said as I clapped my hands together.

I turned to Doc.

“Doc, all we can do is
ask. Fact of the matter is probably ain’t no one here AB negative. And, if there was, ain’t no one gonna want to give one of their kidneys to a sixty five year old man. It’s a mother-fucking shame,” I said.

As people started walking out of the shop, Teddy walked up to Doc and
I.

“Crash,” I said as he walked up.

“I can tell you one fuckin’ thing and it’s a for sure,” Teddy growled.

“What’s that, Crash?” I asked.

“If I was AB negative, you’d be cuttin’ mine out right here and now. Hell, I couldn’t spill it out quick enough. I’d have you runnin’ it to the damned hospital on the back of that bike in a beer cooler,” he said.

“Appreciate ya, Crash,”
Erik said.

“So, he’s pretty bad, Doc?’ I asked.

Erik nodded his head slowly.

“He’s as strong and as mean of a man as I have ever met, but it’s beyond that, Bone. He’s dying. Hell, his skin color is…” his voice faded.

I patted him on the shoulder.

“I know you ain’t a religious man, Doc. My family will be praying for all of ya,” I said as I pulled my cigarettes form my pocket.

“Doc, you know I would,” Jake said as he walked up to the group.

Doc looked up.

“I know you would, Jake. I appreciate that. So what’s the skinny between you and Michelle?” Erik asked.

“Who’s Michelle?” I asked, turning toward Jake.

“Friend of mine from high school. Jake ran off with her at the party,” Erik said.

“God damn, kid.
What are you, twenty?” I asked as I lit a cigarette.

“I’m twenty-seven. Well, not yet, but here pretty soon,” Jake said.

“Hell, if she’s Doc’s age, she’s gotta be a dime over ya, kid. Probably thirty-six or so,” I laughed.

“She looks good, boss,” Erik said.

“Big titties?” I asked as I took a drag from my cigarette.

“I don’t care how old she is, I like her. She’s nice, and her boob size is not up for discussion,” Jake snapped.

Erik raised his eyebrows and nodded.

Everyone except Jake laughed.

“Bun, Train,” Erik said.

“Well hell, fellas, it’s a fucking party. Bunny, yo
u get that exhaust on your bike?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

People continued walked through the shop to the front, starting their bikes, and leaving.

“Yes sir, last week. Sounds like it ought to. Had to run to Harley to get a bracket. Hundred nine bucks. Bastards,” Easter said.

“I swear. I tried to buy a Glide out there last week. They wanted twenty-two. I offered twenty. They refused me,” Erik said.

“2013 or 2014 model,”A-Train asked.

“2013. Black one on the showroom floor. New left over model,” Erik said.

“Crazy assholes. Shit a ’13 can be bought in Tulsa for that, Doc. Go to Tulsa,” Easter said.

“Probably will, Bun. Just trying to get it here,” Erik said.

“Well, I got to get, fellas. I got some shit to get done,” Easter said.

“See ya, Bunny,” I said as I slapped him on the shoulder.

“Wonder if Bunny is ever going to finish that sleeve on his arm,” Erik asked as Easter walked to the garage door.

“Probably about the same time you finish yours,” I answered.

“Fellas, I want a drink. The atmosphere here is repugnant,” Teddy said.

“What did you just say?” Train asked.

“Said I was thirsty,” Teddy answered.

“No, you said
repugnant.
I know you did. My left ear is still good, I heard ya, plain as day. Repugnant,” Train said.

I turned to Teddy.

“Means disgusting. Offensive to taste or feeling,” Teddy responded, smiling.

“What…” I started.

“The fuck?” A-Train finished my thought.

“Been
readin’. Heather bought me a Kindle. I been looking up a word or two a day. I’m makin’ my vocabulary a richer, more powerful tool. Now, let’s go get a fuckin’ drink. Peaks is callin’ me. Coldest beer in town,” Teddy said.

“Shit
, sounds good to me,” I said.

“Fellas?”
I asked.

Everyone nodded.

“Sounds good to me,” A-train said.

“Me too,” said Jake.

“Well, let’s lock this bastard up and head out. Jake, get the doors,” I said as I turned to walk to the front of the shop.

Erik has made so much progress in the last few months. His meeting Kelli was the best thing that ever happened to him. The thought of him losing her father made me wonder how it would affect him and what difference it might make in how he viewed life. He was a strange person to try to figure out. He never really spoke about how he felt.