Love Unrehearsed (56 page)

Despite all the things keeping Ryan busy, I could tell he was unhappy. The sadness was always there, itching like a scab that just wouldn’t heal. I was starting to feel guilty, as if he’d given up acting for me.

As much as I enjoyed being out of the spotlight, I knew in my heart that Ryan wouldn’t be satisfied with life if he didn’t act.

It was in his blood.

It was what he excelled at beyond all other things.

In front of the camera was where he belonged.

Ryan wasn’t living; he was existing. He was doing everything possible to avoid admitting that he was miserable not working. He didn’t need to say it; I could read him well enough to know exactly what plagued him.

We had set October 20 as our wedding date, taking Mike’s advice and getting married in the Maldives. I didn’t care where we got married; as long as we had a beachside villa to snuggle in, I’d be content.

But as much as I wanted to marry Ryan, I couldn’t. Not like this.

I needed him whole before he committed to me and he was anything but whole right now.

That light that used to dance in his eyes was gone.

His spirit was broken and it tore me apart.

I had convinced Ryan to return to Seaport with me under the guise that I had business in the bar to attend to, but really I needed a strong Wi-Fi connection, which was nonexistent at the cabin. I knew exactly what I wanted to get Ryan for a wedding gift, but I needed time to execute my plan.

Since the pub wasn’t so busy, Ryan and I decided to have lunch downstairs. We were dying to sample some of the new entrees Tammy was serving up. Even the apartment smelled deliciously edible.

“Did you call your lawyer back?” I asked, trying not to burn my lips on the piping-hot French onion soup I was drooling over.

Ryan nodded, chomping down on his chicken club panini.

“So you told him no prenup? Are you sure?”

Ryan looked me square in the eyes. “Positive. You need a prenup? I’ve got one better.” He grabbed a Mitchell’s Pub napkin from the holder and borrowed a pen from one of the new waitresses. I watched him carefully write on the napkin, doing his best not to tear it. “After all, this love affair of ours really began when you gave me your phone number. Remember?”

I was dying to know what he was writing. I drifted my foot over his under the table. “Of course I remember. I wrote it on a Mitchell’s napkin.”

“Which I still have, by the way.” He smiled fondly. As soon as he was done writing, he placed the napkin across the table in front of me.

I smiled and laughed when I read,
“I promise to never fight over the toaster.”
It meant a lot that he said that, knowing Marie and Gary had fought over such trivial things.

I motioned for the pen, grabbed another napkin, and wrote,
“I promise never to steal your toaster or your TV.”

He laughed and tapped on the napkin. “That better include the remote when I’m watching hockey, hon. Just saying. Give me the pen. It’s my turn.” While he was busy writing, I went behind the bar to grab my own pen.

I came back to
“I promise to buy you your own TV so we never have to argue about what’s on.”

That made me laugh. “I draw the line at golf.” I wrote on mine,
“I promise to never take your money.”

He stared at me for a few moments and frowned. “That’s a given, Tar.” The note he passed back stated,
“I promise to never complain about you spending my money.”
And when it comes to stuff for the house, I’m drawing the line at curtain shopping. If you love me, you’ll never ask me what I think about that sort of stuff.”

“Okay, no curtain shopping. Got it.” I put his message on our growing pile and wrote,
“I promise to be a good wife.”

His smile was mesmerizing. I got back,
“I promise to be a good husband.”

I gazed at the warm, blue eyes that meant everything to me. “We keep this up and we won’t have to write wedding vows.”

“Well if that’s the case.” Ryan quickly scribbled another one.
“I promise to start every day and end every night telling you I love you
.”

I wanted to climb into his lap. I leaned over the table and kissed him. Trying to top that was difficult. I ended up writing,
“I promise to love only you until I take my last dying breath.”

“Till death do us part,” he whispered. His next message:
“I promise to love you forever.”

“Well then…” I slapped
“I promise to always tend to your needs”
in front of him.

He tapped on my napkin vow and grinned. “I’m going to hold you to this one. You know how needy I am.”

His next message said,
“I promise to only have eyes for you.”

That one struck me right in the heart. I scribbled on the bottom of it:
“For as long as we both shall live?”

He gave me a warm smile, a wink, and a nod.

I quickly followed up with
“I promise to give you a blow job on your birthday.”

Ryan held the napkin up, looked like he’d won the lottery for a few seconds, and then asked. “Only on my birthday?” He sorted through the small pile and held up the one that said I’d always tend to his needs. “I’m thinking I’m
way
more needy than that, babe. My needs are constant.”

I quickly scribbled,
“I promise no matter how needy you get, to never make you sleep on the couch.”

Ryan held up a finger for me to wait while he wrote on his napkin,
“Do you promise to talk to me when something is bothering you?”

I wrote on the bottom of it,
“Yes, and you?”
and passed it back to him.

Ryan wrote his
“Yes”
underneath mine and underlined it twice.

My next vow stated,
“I promise to find a way every day to make you happy.”

He sorted through the sheets and held up the one with the BJ on it. “Can we edit the BJ vow to daily/hourly? That would make me really happy and tend to my needs all in one shot.”

He looked so damn hopeful. How could I ever deny him anything? I sifted through the vows, finding the one that said he’d love me forever. “Since you promised, I’ll see what I can do.”

He reached across the table, took my hand in his, and pulled it to his mouth, placing a tender kiss next to my engagement ring.

Marry Me

Ryan’s escape from celebrity life only lasted so long. He’d stopped looking at scripts and considering multimillion-dollar roles, which worried me more than he could have ever realized. I knew his career, his A-list status, could only take so much before it would be too late to revive. Fortunately, the premiere for the second
Seaside
film,
Day of Dawn,
sucked him right back into the spotlight.

It was almost as if he’d never left. I didn’t realize how much I’d come to miss his hectic lifestyle until we didn’t have it anymore. I missed Mike and Marie even more, and I was grateful that Ryan had another junket to get through so we could all be together again.

I was so glad that the premiere was in L.A. It made making secrets deals that much easier. While Ryan was occupied with the press, I met with two influential producers and negotiated a two-hundred-thousand-dollar purchase. I had to sell all of my family’s vested interests in the wineries to do it, but investing in Ryan’s future was worth it.

Everything had gone off without a hitch.

Things continued to look up two weeks later when we were in Berlin. Mike had stormed into our room, Marie tight on his heels, a grin the size of Texas plastered on his face.

“You will never believe this shit,” he announced, holding out his phone. “I just got a message from my buddy, Nix, who does security out in L.A. If this doesn’t brighten your day, I don’t know what will.”

I’ll never forget the smile on Ryan’s face when he heard Nix say in his message that David Ardazzio, forty-five, was arrested today and charged with possession of 3.5 grams of cocaine.

Justice had been served. We were all able to put that horrible incident behind us.

But that was four weeks ago. I was now looking out at the breathtakingly beautiful blue water from the lanai of our gorgeous beachside villa in the Maldives, getting prepared to make my final walk as a single woman. My groom was off in his parents’ villa, probably feeling just as nervous as I was.

“Your hair looks awesome,” Marie said, spraying to hold it in place. She had twisted my hair into a loose ponytail, fluffing it out to make it look even thicker.

I lightly swatted at her. “Not too much spray. I want Ryan to be able to touch it without it breaking off or getting his fingers stuck.”

Tammy had my sandals in her hands, smiling as if she had a secret. “Shoes or no shoes?”

“You’ve got to go barefoot, Taryn,” Janelle answered. “It’s the only way.”

Tammy smirked. “Well, you may choose not to wear them, but you have to at least read them.”

Read them?
“What are you talking about?” She was really excited when she handed over my brand new Stuart Weitzman strappy bridal sandals. I turned them over, seeing a handwritten note penned on the bottom of one of the shoes.

You’re my best friend,

You’re my love,

You’re my life.

I can’t wait to

make you

my wife!

Love, Ryan

My breath hitched as his message sank in. I covered my mouth, holding back from sputtering. I had envisioned the man I would marry one day, and Ryan had transformed that image into an unbelievable dream. I wasn’t nervous anymore. I knew with absolute certainty that my Ryan wanted me just as much as I wanted him. Tears dripped down my cheeks as I handed the shoe over to Ellen so she could see her son’s sentiment. Tammy was already reduced to a pool of tears, spurring me to cry harder while I was reprimanded for ruining my makeup.

A few minutes later, Ryan’s mom uncovered my dress. It was white silk and had a thin ribbon crisscrossed over the open back. I received four nods of approval when I first tried it on but my teeth chattered now as I shimmied into my dress.

Janelle unwrapped my three solitaire diamond necklace—my “something new” wedding gift from Ryan. I had my mother’s beaded hair comb that she wore when she’d married my dad, tucked into the top of my loose braid—my something old. As much as I wished my parents could have been alive to see me on this special day, I knew that they were looking down on me. They were be in the sunrays that cracked through the clouds and the warm breeze that tickled my skin.

Jill had a small box in her hand. “This is from Joe and me. Thank you for letting us be a part of your day, Taryn. It means the world to your father and to me that you’ve included us.”

I hugged Jill, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for being here.”

She touched my face and smiled. “Go on. Open it.”

My fingers fumbled opening the lid. I gasped when I saw the exquisite sapphire bracelet. “Oh my God! This is beautiful!”

“It’s your something blue,” she said happily.

“Thank you so much! Would you help me put it on?”

Leave it to Janelle to yank me back into reality with her humor. “We have to go soon This is the easy part. Not killing him when he ticks you off is the hard part.”

I gaped at Ellen as she was nodding her head. “You’re telling me there are times you want to kill Ryan’s father?”

“Oh yes,” she admitted. “It’s not often—maybe three or four times a year—but it definitely happens.”

I looked over at Tammy.

She agreed. “I threatened to kill Pete on the flight over here.”

Marie was finishing trussing up my dress when I caught a sparkle on her hand. Her fingers were bare when she was putting on my makeup.

I spun so fast I almost fell over. I grabbed her hand. “Oh my God! What is this?”

Marie smiled coyly. “Mike proposed to me last night!”

I was so elated; it was hard to contain myself.
Could this day get any better?
I hugged her fiercely. “How? When?”

Marie giggled. “Last night. He took me for a walk on the beach and told me that he’s never felt this way about anyone and he can’t imagine living life without me.”

I think I screamed. I definitely know I was tugging hard on her left hand, taking in the huge rock on her finger.

“He then said he didn’t want to wait to ask; he didn’t want me to think that he was motivated by your wedding or anything.”

I hugged her again, whispering my words of congratulations. This was a big step, but I knew no matter what happened, I’d always have her in my life. After all, her three-bedroom house was physically attached to mine—separated only by a breezeway.

Marie gave me a smile. “What say we go get you married? Ryan Christensen is waiting.”

There was a gentle knock on my door before I saw my birth father, Joe, peek around the corner. “Everyone dressed and ready?” he asked.

I smiled at his awkwardly innocent expression. Ryan had flown Joe and his family here for me as a surprise. They may not have been my parents growing up, but without Joe, I wouldn’t have this moment, and that meant a lot to me.